By Bridechilla Michelle:
Can we talk about Father of the Bride for a minute?
Okay, so I grew up watching this awesome movie, with Steve Martin (awesome), Martin Short (awesome combo), and Diane Keaton (I mean, pretty awesome). If you haven’t seen it, go see it and then come back. When I watched this as an adolescent, this was a movie about a girl getting married whose dad goes pretty nuts over the whole thing and doesn’t want to let his daughter go.
As an adult woman planning her own wedding, Father of the Bride is about a great dad and small business owner who gets blindsided by his daughter’s engagement, and then has all of his financially responsible suggestions ignored by two wedding-crazed women and a planner who ends up with a HUGE commission AND he has to let his baby girl go.
So, quick rant:
1. Annie is 21 when she gets engaged. She has not yet graduated from college. She met her fiancé in Rome just a few months ago. So, naturally, her father is a bit concerned about the rush. As a kid, I was like “yeah, she can marry him if she loves him!” As an adult, (even though I’m only 23), I was sitting there like, “oh, honey… maybe see each other in the real world of bills and taking out the trash before you sign up for the rest of your life with him.” (If you’re getting married super soon after meeting on vacation, to each their own… but you make me a tiny bit nervous.)
2. George accepts their engagement (however ungraciously) and commits to paying for the whole thing (even though the groom’s parents are super duper rich and offered to help). It bums me out that society hasn’t caught up to the reality that this is not a change of ownership of a woman anymore. The bride works hard for her money just like the groom, but no matter how often that is said, tradition still expects the bride’s parents to pay for the bulk of the wedding. But, moving on…
3. Enter the wedding planner. It quickly becomes evident that Annie and her mom are looking to spend ALL THE MONEY on this wedding because it should be “nice”. And poor George is stuck going into shock at the thought of a thousand-dollar cake, swans, fish dinner for multiple hundreds of people, and flying in the groom’s relatives from overseas. And I’m sitting on my couch, freaking out for him, like “WHY does he have to pay for their airfare!! Is that a thing!!?” And who needs swans!? Who even does that!? This is turning into the least chilla wedding ever with the most obligation guests ever.
4. Then, for the rest of the movie, his wife makes him feel bad about not wanting to spend so much on a wedding. And I about lost it. I mean, good on you, mom, for being a business owner and doing well enough to have saved some money and built a nice life, but this is a hundred thousand dollar plus wedding! Get your head out of the wedding industry’s butt and listen to your husband’s serious concerns about finances!But she doesn’t, and George gets guilt-tripped into spending all the money.
5. Despite my annoyances with the wedding planning irresponsibility of this movie, when it actually came time for the wedding, I freaking sobbed. Like, loudly and messily. Because I love my dad, okay! And this movie is cute, however poor of a planning guide it may be.
6. The reception comes around, and the whole thing lasts about ten minutes in movie time. It flies by. It’s gorgeous, and ridiculous, and has a zillion people, and I hardly even remember it. Which I think is actually pretty accurate as to how most people see the actual day of the wedding. And poor George hardly got to enjoy it at all because he was too busy.
So, thank you for sticking with me throughout that rant, the point of which is that I wish Aleisha had been active and preaching in the nineties for this poor Father-Chilla who tried and failed to have his voice heard. Also, thank god that the times are sort of coming around to getting rid of waaaayy outdated traditions so we can all move on and be reasonable humans.
And love our dads because they’re great.-Sniff-The most helpful thing to me within this whole wedding planning process is giving myself permission to completely ignore the wedding industry brainwashing and opt for not spending all of our money. We do still need things like food, and hopefully a house in a few years. If you’re on this website and listening to Aleisha, you’re probably on a savvy track. The rest of the wedding-marketing world won’t help you out, but just breathe and know that you don’t have to buy all of the tat they tell you to buy.