To delegate or not to delegate, that is the question!
By now, you’ve probably become aware that planning your wedding involves more than booking a venue, writing some invitations and choosing a dress. No matter what size your event, the planning process can quickly become complicated and logistically heavy. Chasing down quotes alone can be incredibly frustrating, leaving you with the feeling that you are a social outcast who no one wants to talk to… or email.
As the process goes on, stress can build, you get more involved in the details and it can quickly become overwhelming BUT so many couples, mainly brides feel that asking for help is giving up, that by relinquishing some control, you are admitting that it’s too hard, or that someone will take decisions away from you and it won’t be ‘your day’.This, my friend, couldn’t be further from the truth. Like successful business people who hire the best of the best to get their shit done, so can you AND it doesn’t have to cost you a fortune. Let’s learn to delegate like a boss...and by delegate I mean seek help from others, not boss people around.
Hire a professional Wedding Planning or Day of Coordinator
As someone who personally shunned the use of a wedding coordinator and deeply regretted it, my repentance is encouraging Bridechilla Podcast listeners to consider investing their money…and it is an investment, in hiring a professional to help you out. As my recent guest, Kylie Carlson asked,
Would you sit down and do your own accounts without ever having any accountancy experience, well a wedding is the same…how can couples be expected to plan an event of that size with no experience?
Coordinators and planners don’t have to cost you crazy money, in fact they will most probably save you money and more importantly your precious time. Having an expert on your team will help you delegate the activities that you don't have time (or the expertise to do) and achieve little tasks that take up an eternity, like chasing vendors, creating running sheets and timelines and in the lead up to the day confirming deliveries and appointments. Planners and come with expertise and a little black book of vendors that they trust and work with regularly.
Cheat aka Outsource
One of the easiest ways to delegate is to embrace tools and services that will help you take care of parts of wedding planning that you aren’t comfortable with or require or may require background knowledge/experience.
Websites like Taskrabbit, Thumbtack and fiverr are great for finding people who are experienced and eager to help you out. If you know you can outsource a task (perhaps something monotonous like outing together invitation packs) that may take you 4 hours but you could instead pay someone $25 to do it, save your precious time. Perhaps Photoshop isn’t your bag and learning about the joys of masks and layers isn’t something you care to spend the time doing, go to 99 Designs and find a graphic designer in under 5 minutes or find a talented Etsy supplier, of which there are many! You will be surprised at how much time you can save by offloading small, finicky tasks that you thought would be 'fun' but instead take you 63 hours.
Stop. Collaborate and listen
One Brides trash is another brides treasure...well it's hardly trash. There are a multitude of websites that can help you save money, time and save the planet by repurposing wedding 'things' decorations, dresses, tablecloths, jars etc and in the process making your life easier! Visit websites like, Tradesy, Bridal Garage Sales and Ruffled Blog join local facebook groups (I guarantee there will be a wedding planning group in your area), where you can buy and swap décor items, get the lowdown on vendors and see what costs and expenses you can share. In other words use your community and those brides and grooms before you. This may sound odd but if you are purchasing 100 vases, for example, perhaps another couple in your area could buy them, or you go split costs in view of sharing them. Heck, we let strangers drive us around in their personal cars, the least we can do is share some wedding shit!
Use your friends
When we got hitched I suffered from a terrible affliction of the ‘hero complex’. I was afraid to delegate and thought to ask for help was a sign of being a 'Bridezilla'…when, in fact, we were busy, I was working two jobs, trying to write a stand-up show, my husband to be Rich was finishing his Masters degree and also working full time, we were stressed to the max and that didn’t include planning our DIY wedding. We had friends offering to help us all of the time so why oh why did we deny them?!
We didn’t want to be annoying?
But they offered!
We didn’t want to burden them with menial tasks.
But they offered!
We wanted our wedding to be fun, not a job for them.
BUT THEY OFFERED.
If people offer to help. Genuinely offer…and if you need that help.
Take it. Delegate different projects to each person’s strengths, throw a wedding project party for all your bridesmaids to come to and make it a fun activity, be honest about the tasks that you would really value assistance in completing and watch your friends and family go!
Most importantly, work with your partner to delegate tasks and jobs together. Whether one member of your dynamic duo is more 'into' wedding planning than the other or not, you are getting hitched together and the more that you work on the planning and details together, the more it becomes your event. If you prefer to speak to florist and your partner is more interested in the graphic design details, great...communicate and watch your to do list shrink.
Remember, you don't have superhero powers, you are but human (a fabulous one, I am sure). You want to look back at this time with warmth and not as a time where palpitations awoke you in the night. Use your time wisely, outsource and delegate the tasks that take too much time or just don't interest you. With our marvelous shared economy at the moment, it is the perfect time to hire a 'gigger', ask for help and enjoy your wedding planning!