Stress, anxiety, feelings of panic and overwhelm are the last thing you are probably expecting to be hit with after the joy and excitement of getting engaged, but for many of us (often self-imposed), the pressure to get things right and to get things done can mar what should be, an excellent experience.
For many of us, the process of wedding planning can take and uncomfortable turn when you realise just how complicated and involved putting together a super-duper love party can be.
I don't know about you but when we became engaged I was pretty confident that we could plan our wedding without getting caught up in the stress and drama that you so often hear about couples succumbing to…for the most part, we emerged unscathed (minus some guest list panic and having to ‘find' a couple of extra grand!).
Here are five ways that you can avoid wedding stress or at least hush any impending panic or pressure.
So many issues (both in life and in wedding planning) could be solved by clear communication.
A lot of us avoid saying how we feel instead of having a confrontation. Although sometimes it can feel uncomfortable to discuss certain aspects of your wedding planning process such as money, who is or isn't invited and how certain behaviour by others makes you feel, by getting past the potential awkwardness and communicating your feelings, you will ultimately avoid a bunch of stress and potential drama.
For many couples, disharmony and stress emerge when they are not open and honest about how they feel. Clear communication means thoughtful communication, no real housewives yelling. Think about what you want to say and what the outcome of the conversation is. Remember to be clear and calm. Explain why you are feeling that way. Whether you are speaking to a vendor or your partner, be aware they are not mind readers and without open communication, it's hard to fix issues and get things moving in a positive direction.
2. Remember the outside world:
Wedding planning can feel as if you have taken on a second full-time job, contacting vendors, creating seating charts, scheduling appointments in the bathroom on your phone at work… it can all get pretty overwhelming.
It's essential for you to remember the outside world, that there is life after wedding planning (and during) and that it is vital to carry on with recreational activities that aren't connected to planning your big day. Watch TV, do yoga, see friends. Allocate no wedding talk zones. Stay sane.
3. Ask for help!
Asking for help and acknowledging the generosity of those who love you it's one of the most powerful things you can do to reduce stress.
You don't have to be a one stop wedding planning hero couple. People want to help you. Asking for assistance from those around you is not a sign of weakness, it doesn't mean you a relinquishing control (which isn't a bad thing) or that you have failed, it's a great way to get people involved who want to help you and take the pressure off you.
You don't have to do it alone. As I wrote recently, delegating tasks, whether that be to family and friends or via professional helpers via sites like fiverr, where you can hire people to help you with little and big tasks, can ease the feelings of overwhelm and help you enjoy the tasks that you do take on yourself.
4. Ditch the obligation:
As I have found hosting the Bridechilla Podcast, so much wedding stress and drama evolve from obligation. We feel obliged to invite certain people. Obliged to spend more money than we had and obliged to keep up with the Joneses by trying to make our wedding look like a styled shoot from Pinterest.
Ultimately your wedding day is about celebrating your love and friendship with your partner and having a fabulous party with your most favourite people. When you ditch the feelings of obligation and pressure, you will feel empowered to make decisions that are right for you.
5. Consider hiring a wedding planning or coordinator:
Gone are the days when hiring a wedding planner or day of coordinator was only something wealthy people did.
There so many fabulous options available to couples, to help ease the burden of event planning. I'm sure 99% of people reading this have never planned events for over 15 people, it's a complicated business and requires many hours of thought, contacts and money, so why not hire someone who has the existing skills and experience to ease the stress and burden of managing such an event?
If you are enjoying the process of wedding planning, hiring a coordinator is such a great opportunity for you to have your carefully laid plans well managed and also make sure you get to enjoy your wedding day to the fullest without stressing over small details. If the big wedding planning adventure isn't for you, consider a pop up wedding!
Wedding planners and coordinators at also often helpful in saving you money using their contacts suggestions and pre-existing relationships with vendors and suggesting ways for you to achieve the desired goals without going over budget.
They are also pros at keeping contracts and all of the logistical details that you may miss on track because it's always mindful to remember that you wedding is not only a love party, that will be memorable and awesome, it's also a bunch of business transactions and you want to be able to cover yourself in case of any situation that may arise.
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Listen To The Bridechilla Podcast
The Bridechilla Podcast is hosted by comedian, author and virtual bridesmaid, Aleisha McCormack. Each week, Aleisha shares her tell it like it is view and unique take on wedding wisdom to help Bridechillas and Groomchillas ditch the pressures and obligations that we sometimes feel during the journey and have fun planning this awesome day. With over 300 shows in the back catalogue, in addition to answering listener questions, Aleisha interviews the world's leading wedding planners, psychologists and mother-in-law’s.
The Bridechilla Podcast is all about empowering couples to plan the wedding that they want and ditching the stress and meaningless details, that no one will notice...hello chair covers.