This week, Brides published, ‘Is the Bridechilla the Millennial Bridezilla,' one of the recent spate of articles framing the rise of the Bridechillas, as lobotomized, slacker brides who are incapable of independent thought.
As the founder of the Bridechilla Podcast, over the past three years, I have worked to build a movement of empowered couples, encouraging them to ditch the stress and the pressure surrounding wedding planning and embrace their inner Bridechilla (and Groomchillas).
My listeners and readers are motivated by planning a wedding day that isn’t guided by obligation and trends but planning an event that reflects them as a couple. Bridechillas care about their wedding day but aren’t consumed by it. They focus on the things that matter and ditch the things that don’t, like chair covers and obligation guests. BYE.
“To me, I think a Bridechilla is a person who realizes that marrying the person you love is way more important than all of the details. So maybe you couldn’t find the perfect shade of red for your tablecloths. A Bridechilla is able to keep perspective because she knows it’s not about tablecloths. It’s about beginning your life with your love.”
Photo by Tom Pumford
Bridechillas aren’t putting up with being sold the same old stuff over and over again. They’re tired of being told to lose weight and that their only option is to wear sleeveless dresses. They are over the lack of diversity in advertising and promotion and the normalization of the spending big on a one-day party or having to follow traditions that are meaningless to them.
Bridechillas are career women.
They’ve got stuff to do.
They aren’t interested in sweating the small stuff.
They make decisions and move on.
Not only was this article another easy shot at millennial bashing, but it also enraged members of our Bridechilla Facebook community, because the author’s interpretation of a Bridechilla couldn’t have been further from the reality of what we know a Bridechilla to be.
“I'm sure this is an extension of the articles that are upset millennials are "ruining" industries by not buying fabric softener and napkins. It's hard to market to people who are feeling more empowered, so they try to make us feel like trash instead.”
Photo by Felix Russell-Saw
“‘Would it really be so bad to support people through the wedding planning process? Would it really be so bad for women to be free-thinking human beings with totally valid thoughts and feelings?’
Unlike some other wedding forums, our community of Bridechillas is supportive and positive. We embrace differences and talk about real issues that surround wedding planning (and life). This week alone we had discussions covering topics from managing IBS on your wedding day to what to put in the ‘fuck it bucket’…the place where unnecessary, or unfinished wedding tasks go to die.
"Bridechillas, as a group, support and help one another. I might say "fuck chair covers, " but you might care a whole lot about chair covers. And you know what? I'm gonna support that! The Bridechilla community is a group of people that could rival even the best bridal party. They're helpful, empathetic, supportive, and hilarious!"
From a business perspective, I have partnered with forward-thinking companies who get Bridechillas as customers and are embracing their attitude. The perpetuation of the Bridezilla and negative interpretation of Bridechillas mean that businesses wanting to connect with smart, empowered consumers, who are looking for a way to make their wedding planning easier are missing out.
Photo by zelle duda
"I think that Bridechilla is somebody who, with the love of their life by their side, can conquer the wedding world one decision at a time. They’re decisive and strong."
I encourage anyone confused as to what a Bridechilla is, to join our community. It’s full of the most kick-ass, inspiring women I know, none of which are in line for a lobotomy or struggle to make basic wedding planning decisions.
Header photo by One Wedding