Bridechilla Jaime is back to share about her experience with the wedding planning blues. Don't miss her first post, When Wedding DIY Takes Over Your Life.
This Friday marks the one year point from when I got engaged. There is something quite magical about those first few weeks of post-engagement bliss. You find yourself staring at your hand in a bit of awe. You love the entire world just a smidge more. You become more expressive with your hands so that you can casually have people notice your ring. You look at your fiancé with stars in your eyes and basically float around like a Disney princess with little forest creatures helping you dress.
This magical glow period reasserts itself several times in the wedding planning process. When you find your venue you daydream about how amazing it will be to walk down the aisle. When you find your dress you drift along fantasizing how perfect you will look on your big day.
These little moments keep you going as you deal with the seedier side of weddings. When you are juggling numbers to figure out if you can afford that live band or deciding if your third cousin twice removed actually needs to be invited these little pops of bliss help you smooth over the stress.
What happens when you have made all of the decisions and all that is left is paying for it and waiting for the big day?
If you are like me, you settle into the wedding planning blues. While you are still excited about the day… it is a duller kind of excitement mixed with just a bit of fatigue.
We decided to give ourselves from our October engagement until after the holidays to pick a date. Once we settled on a date, we quickly found a venue. I pushed very hard to get everything organized by the end of August. My job requires that I work 60 hours a week between September and January so I did not want to stress about wedding stuff during that time. That gave me ten months of solid planning and to-dos. Since I have a long list of DIY projects this made sense to me.
I started making invites while also choosing a florist, a DJ, a photographer and a make-up artist. I found my dress, my bridesmaids picked theirs, I picked out jewelry and shoes… everything was being checked off the list one by one in my typical Type A fashion.
As soon as September rolled around and my deadline for to-dos came, I found I had done everything I had set out to do by then. I also found I no longer cared.
I still have DIYs to do. There are still smaller decisions to be made. I still have a girls weekend coming up. There is still a lot of wedding tasks to be done… and I just don’t care. I am tired of thinking about it. I am tired of making decisions on things that I generally do not worry about. In my everyday life I cannot say I have ever worried about my napkin color.
I have never paid any attention to glassware beyond whether or not my wine glass was in need of a refill. I am tired of caring about things that I don’t care about.
do not think I am alone in this. I have seen many brides talking about how they feel tired, overwhelmed, and stressed. I think, particularly when you have a long engagement, that there comes a time where you just want to stop worrying about this one day. Elopement starts sounding delightful. Small intimate affairs suddenly sound much better. You remember that you chose this but you are not sure why. There are no woodland creatures helping you make decisions. The glow of the engagement has given way to a slightly tarnished feeling.
I keep telling myself that come January, when it is closer and some of the work stress goes away, so too will this feeling of disinterest. I am fairly confident that this too shall pass and so I am just letting it happen. I think we deserve a break from caring and that taking one is fine.
If you find yourself wallowing in the wedding doldrums… embrace it. Taking a break from caring is okay. When the major decisions are made why not just let go of the need to be 100% wedding 100% of the time?
When people ask me about wedding things these days I respond that I am taking a break until January. Some people continue to press and ask about things but I just reply either with what is planned or that I just don’t know. I remind myself that at the end of all of this noise… I am going to have my husband. I am doing this because I chose to and if everything is not perfect, that is okay. I will have him. Just taking the time to think of that makes me look back down at the ring on my hand and smile… wedding doldrums can’t quite dim that glow… the love that brought me to this point still burns steadily and quietly carries me through.