Getting married is all about committing to being in a team! Often weddings are portrayed as the ‘Brides day’, an event that she has been ‘dreaming about since childhood’ and that weddings are a one sided event that only women care about.
I can speak confidently for the Bridechilla community when I say that a majority of our community didn’t grow up dreaming about the little details of a wedding, more likely they aspired to be in happy relationships, to be in love and to find their fellow weirdo!
The concept of wedding planning all coming down to women, is one perpetuated by media over and over again. Wedding magazines and blogs are primarily marketed at women, they repeat the message that it is women and women alone who make all of the wedding planning decisions and men are simply there to agree and perhaps chuck in an opinion about the song list and bar.
Because of this misconception, a lot of couples struggle with how to go about sharing tasks and decisions and I think that some guys use this as a bit of a responsibility dodge.
By starting your wedding planning like you would any big couple decision….together…you will be far more likely to plan the wedding celebrations that both want to have.
My guest this episode is Mark from swankybadger.com, he is a reformed Groom and ready to share his insights on getting your partner (and your team) on the right track when it comes to planning your wedding.
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Top Things a Groom Can Do to Help His Partner
By Mark from swankybadger.com
(*Although Mark refers to Brides and Grooms- this of course is relevant to all couples).
Planning and arranging a wedding is the best preparation that any couple can have for married life. It’s like a condensed little microcosm of married life; You have to work together, you have to support each other, you have to work out differences, deal with family, deal with finances, make hard decisions.
If you can successfully plan a wedding together, the chances are, you’re well set for married life. But here’s the trick; it takes a lot of effort from BOTH sides to make it work.
Generally speaking, it’s the guy in the equation that needs a kick in the back-side to get involved. But often they don’t know where to start. After all, a lot of guys don’t even think about their wedding day until it’s fast approaching. Guys are just wired differently.
So, to give the boys a quick shot in the arm, here’s 3 things a Groom can do to help his bride in the build up to the big day:
1 - Show Interest
It may sound obvious, but the worst thing you can do is have your fiancé feeling like she’s doing this all on her own. You have to be a partner. Because, turns out, that’s what marriage is all about.
Even if you’re not heavily involved, or terribly interested in certain aspects you can at least provide emotional support;
Ask frequently if she needs help with anything.
Set up time each week for you to sit down with a glass of wine and go over everything.
Put together a calendar that you can fill out together to help you hit key milestones.
2 - Be Proactive
If only on a couple of things, a be of proactivity can go a long way to easing the mental burden on your bride to be.
Do a little research. A lot of freshly-engaged guys don’t even know how much is involved in planning a wedding. Spend 30 minutes getting your Google on and let your fiancee know what you’ve learned and what your thoughts are.
Make suggestions. You won’t always hit a home run, but at least she’ll feel like you’re contributing as best you can.
Offer yourself up for help. If your suggestions are landing wide of the mark, just be a helper and ask to be delegated some bits and pieces.
3 - Take ownership
The best thing a Groom can do to help his bride is to take ownership of the things he may have an interest in.
The Guest list
Work together to get the big things are covered!
Header Photo by Tom Pumford