I am delighted to welcome a special co-host to join me to answer you Bridechilla wedding planning questions, Bridechilla Directory member, wedding planner and podcaster, Cindy Savage from, an Aisle Less Travelled. We talk the values of the metric system, sewing and of course answer your wedding planning questions which this episode are all based on bridal party drama and managing expectations.
Our first wedding planning question comes from an anonymous Bridechilla who is torn about between asking a close friend to be her maid of honor as she is also planning her wedding and in doing so is being far more meticulous and traditional.
Our anonymous Bridechilla is concerned about how her potential MOH will react to her more casual approach to wedding planning and doesn’t want to get into a competitive situation, as their weddings are quite close to each other’s. How do you find away to accept each other's different approaches to planning the day and also manage expectations from the get-go?
Comparison is the thief of joy
It can be hard to sometimes remember this wonderful quote when we have our heads in the game but I think the sooner we can step back from the idea that wedding planning has become a competitive sport, the sooner many of us will feel relief and freedom to just do what makes us happy. Our advice for our wonderful anonymous Bridechilla is to be open and clear about what she needs and wants from her friends involvement. Talking about their differing viewpoints, especially if she is worried that her friend is possibly going to come in and try and change things or comment in a way that makes you unhappy.
Photo by Tamara Menzi
Bridechilla Kelly is conflicted. She isn't close with her sister and has decided to ask a close friend to be her maid of honor. She is having no other bridal party. Upon discovering this, her sister flipped out and Kelly is now very conflicted between letting her sister down and doing what she really wants and that is having her friend be her maid of honor.
I am sure we all have relationships within our family unit that aren't as strong as other's or that exists in a delicate ecosystem of emotions. It can often be extremely challenging to push back and not go the way that is expected of you...for Kelly that might be just relenting and giving here sister a place in her wedding but I see wedding planning as not only a place to plan an event and create your own traditions, it can be a place to step up and follow what you want to do without the pressure to conform to pressure from family and friends to 'do the right thing'.
I’m Cindy Savage, your queer feminist wedding anti-status-quo planner. I help independent, feminist, and LGBTQ people like you plan meaningful weddings while keeping your sanity and your budget intact.
I offer a full range of wedding planning and coordination services, from hourly consultation to wedding day management to planning subscriptions to complete wedding planning and event design. So no matter what your needs or budget are, if we’re the right fit, I can help you create the wedding that is right for YOU! (And don’t worry – we’ll be lowering the stress and increasing the fun while we’re at it.)
I’m based in St. Louis, Missouri and Portland, Oregon, and travel is included within the continental United States – so we can work together no matter where you are.
I happen to be really good at planning big parties and at helping you sort out what’s important to you – so that your wedding is the YOU-est wedding there ever could be.
Oh yeah, and I’m also great at reducing your wedding planning stress so you can chill the f*ck out!
Show image by Demetrius Washington