Adelle: We both swiped right on Tinder in August 2015 (...a few months after I ignored a message from her on OK Cupid 🙂 That Halloween, at 1 in the morning she brought me cold pizza in bed and I told her that I loved her. Over winter break, she came down with an awful flu and moved in on my couch. She never left. (Insert joke about lesbians bringing a U-Haul to the second date.)
In October of 2016, after working a long day at my job on the campaign trail, I opened the door to our apartment and saw her down on one knee with a ring, surrounded by tea lights and pumpkins spelling out "Will you marry me?" I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else, so of course I said yes!
She is my partner in all things, from tasting craft brews to volunteering for political causes to our weekly Dungeons & Dragons sessions.
I knew going into the planning process that we wanted to keep things minimalist and include only the traditions and details that made sense to us and brought us joy.
When I looked for a venue, one stood out immediately - an industrial loft in the heart of Downtown Omaha with beautiful natural lighting and brick details. They allowed us to choose all of our own vendors, which let us plan an event that really reflected our priorities.
Our beverages included local craft beers, which was important to us as supporters of Nebraska breweries. I also made sure our day was filled with little queer details - everything was "Mrs. & Mrs." and our readings included a passage from Audre Lorde's "Zami," about the incomparable experience of two women falling in love in a world that conspires against that love.
We splurged on our venue, and I'm really glad that we did. Choosing a location with so much natural beauty meant that we could be very minimal on our decorations, saving us from the cost and frustration of too much DIYing.
We had an 18 month engagement and I felt the pressure to make lots of decisions way too early. One of those decisions was purchasing a dress on deep clearance that wasn't my style (and didn't fit by the time the wedding rolled around!) I ended up purchasing a second one that still looked traditional but much more low-key.
Sexist and heterosexist traditions went right in the FIB! No one "gave us away" and no garter or bouquet toss for us. Also, I threw internalized fatphobia in the FIB early on - I knew I wasn't going to diet my way into happiness and let go of the fear of "looking fat" on my wedding day.
Be well-organized, but don't decide on every last detail too early in the planning process. 6-12 months is plenty of time!
I listened to sooo many Bridechilla podcast episodes and once I discovered the Bridechilla Community, I was a frequent visitor. The Bridechilla ethos really resonates with me - don't feel obliged to tradition, plan your wedding around what's practical and meaningful to you, make peace with your body and reject other people's expectations if they aren't bringing you joy.