A big conversation in our post wedding facebook group, The Chilla Grads is post-wedding coping, comparison, blues and feelings surrounding expectations not being reached when thinking about our wedding celebrations. I am delighted to be joined by Lucy Sheridan, Comparison Coach whose aim is to help people get over the 'compare and despair' of social media and beyond. A wonderfully motivating for chat, no matter where you are in your planning journey.
Listen to Episode 360 of Bridechilla
Dealing with the post wedding let down
Planning a wedding and preparing for marriage is an exciting time. You spend so much time making decisions for this huge event. What do you do when the wedding is over and the new normal of real life begins? Many times there can be a feeling of sadness or depression. Aleisha and Lucy discuss the potential let down that you might experience after your wedding. They also share from their personal experiences and give advice for how you can deal with it. The most important step is to be kind to yourself, allow yourself to feel those emotions and then deal with them in a healthy way.
"You must allow yourself to feel everything you are feeling.”
Don’t do it alone
In times of depression, anxiety, or just general life struggle, we often have the tendency to seclude ourselves. Rather than bother others with our problems or be forced to deal with our feelings, we try to go it alone. However, in these difficult times, it is better to surround yourself with people that care about you. Talking with a trusted friend, family member, or counselor will help you get back to health sooner. Lucy shares her experience with therapy and how it helped her. Hear about the benefits of letting other people help during this episode.
"You can’t be positive of supporting yourself or someone else and also be doubting yourself. Your system has to lead with one message. One has to override the other"
Adjusting to married life
After the wedding, the real work of adjusting to married life begins. It is an exciting time of learning how to function as a couple. There can be unexpected stressors that could pop up as you adapt to your new lifestyle. Lucy says, “What’s great about getting married is lots of things in our relationships and in our life stay exactly the same.” She shares some tips for how to deal with your spouse, how to pick the important battles, and how to support your significant other even if you may not totally agree with them. Most importantly, don’t compare your marriage to others. Focusing on your relationship and making your marriage the priority will make your marriage that much stronger. Hear other important advice and encouragement during this interview.
"What’s great about getting married is lots of things in our relationships and in our life stay exactly the same. I’m still gonna leave my wet towels on the floor. I’ve been doing it since I was 15 and no one is going to talk me out of it.”
Tips for cutting out comparison
We are all guilty of comparing ourselves to others at some point in our lives. If we aren’t careful, we can find that comparison has invaded our lives and robbed us of joy and happiness. How can you reverse the trend and start to rid yourself of comparison? During this episode, Lucy shares some practical ways to identify the triggers in your life, how to process your emotions, and then move on. Cutting out comparison is an ongoing process that takes time, mindfulness, and lots of practice. Be encouraged that over time you can take back the joy that comparison has stolen.
Listen to Episode 360 of Bridechilla
- [0:36] Introduction of Lucy Sheridan, the world’s first and only comparison coach. Lucy’s mission is to help people stop comparing themselves to others.
- [6:55] Abigail asks about post wedding coping, dealing with identity, post-wedding nightmares, and depression
- [11:42] The questions of identity that comes up after you get married.
- [17:21] Creating open lines of communications and developing good conflict management skills in your relationship
- [24:16] How to deal with negative emotions and the letdown of the wedding
- [32:36] Therapy can help you be more healthy and shed some of the baggage that can weigh you down[35:52] Aleisha shares the story of how an honest conversation with a friend led to reconnection
- [39:18] Key ways to identify the triggers of comparison and how to deal with them
- [47:50] How to learn more about what Lucy does and how to get in touch
Meet Lucy Sheridan
I'm Lucy, 'the comparison coach'. If you want to get clear, confident and on track with what you want, once and for all, you’re in the right place.
CanI get a ‘hell yeah!’ from you if you're ready to cut the crap, stop comparing yourself to others and give yourself the gifts of choice and change?
This is a rallying cry for those of you sitting at work bored, or on your sofa, scrolling your iPad bouncing between social media and the feelings of “wtf am I doing with my life?”
Connect with Lucy - Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
Show image by Candice Picard