372- Bridechilla Wedding Planning Q&A

by Aleisha

If you have questions about planning your wedding and are looking for some great advice and a lot of fun, then be sure to listen to this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. Aleisha catches up on her voicemail by answering questions left by members of the bridechilla community. The Bridechilla podcast doesn’t just talk about flower colors or types of dresses. We talk about the serious, sometimes difficult side of planning a wedding that can affect real life and close relationships. During this podcast, Aleisha addresses the issue of taking your partner’s last name, breaking off an engagement, dealing with a double-booked venue and even how to handle citizenship issues when planning your wedding.

Listen to episode 372 of Bridechilla

HI, my name is...

The Bridechilla community knows that no tradition should be blindly accepted. If the tradition serves a purpose in your wedding, then by all means use it. But there is no obligation to follow particular customs without consideration or reasoning. One such tradition is taking your partner’s last name. Bridechilla Kelsey is not taking her partner’s last name and wants to know how to deal with family members and friends who assume that she is. Aleisha also helps Kelsey and the Bridechilla community consider how to handle the family name for when they have children.

We are in a time where we have so many options, there is flexibility. It is not taboo to not take your partner’s name when it comes to getting hitched.

Do you double down if they double book?

Brianna called Aleisha to find out what to do about her wedding venue. After booking two rooms at the same venue for both the ceremony and reception and paying a downpayment, Brianna received word that the venue had double booked and wants to cancel one of the rooms. To complicate matters, Brianna and her fiance both work at the venue. During this question and answer, Aleisha gives advice for how to deal with conflict and how to handle complications when planning your wedding.

Bride on the beach

Photo by Anna Utochkina 

There is no shame in moving on

Before marrying Rich, Aleisha was engaged to another man. To cope with calling off the first wedding, Aleisha did a stand up comedy routine that ultimately led to the start of Bridechilla. When Bridechillas Tori and Rach both have questions about how to move on with their wedding planning after having ended a previous engagement to another man, Aleisha is able to give first-hand advice. There can be shame and guilt that accompanies difficult breakups. Nothing should keep you from moving on and finding happiness in another relationship.

I think we need to embrace these ups and downs and not feel the shame attached to them because that doesn’t get you anywhere.

Finding happiness in your wedding planning

The goal of wedding planning is to decide what you want and what makes you happy and then do it. Wedding planning can reveal a lot about your life and priorities. While planning her wedding, El discovered that she is missing close relationships with friends. She is struggling to decide who to invite to be her bridesmaids and asks Aleisha for advice. Listen as Aleisha encourages El and reminds the Bridechilla community of how comparison can rob you of satisfaction in your own wedding. Hear all that and much more on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

bride wearing a veil

Photo by Rachel Lees

Instead of feeling bad that this is being tainted in some sort of way, see it as a really positive step and a huge milestone in your relationship

Listen to episode 372 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

  • [1:10] Aleisha introduces this episode, during which she answers questions left on voicemail from the bridechilla community.

  • [3:32] Kelsy’s question is about how to nicely deal with people who criticize her for not taking her partner’s last name. Also how to handle a family name when children come along.

  • [9:04] Bridechilla Becca calls to say thank you to Aleisha for giving her the courage to make the decisions that she wants for her wedding

  • [10:13] Brianna’s venue (which she actually works at) double-booked and is asking them to make a change that they don’t want to. What should she do?

  • [20:57] New-to-Bridechilla Tori wants to know how to announce her engagement after having broken off an unhealthy prior engagement to another guy.  

  • [27:18] Rach wants to know whether she should invite her Mother to her wedding after a rocky relationship.

  • [34:10] El from New Jersey, realized through wedding planning that she doesn’t have the close relationships she wishes she had and wants advice on what to do?

  • [37:28] Laura wants to know how to plan a low-key courthouse wedding prior to their big ceremony in order to help with her Canadian fiance’s citizenship status.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Jonathan Borba 

The Bridechilla Wedding Planning Guides

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