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Bridechilla Wedding Planning

Helping You Ditch Wedding Stress And Plan The Wedding You Want

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"maidchilla"

Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

347- Bridesmaid Week- How to be a Maidchilla

by Aleisha November 19, 2018
written by Aleisha

Working with your Bridal Party and Bridesmaids in particular, should be fun. They're good friends that you have asked to join you to celebrate your wedding day and perhaps also in pre-wedding activities.
Being a bridesmaid, a Maidchilla, has evolved over recent years with a lot of extra tasks and commitments being added to the to-do list (and added financial obligations). In this episode of Bridechilla, I share my best tips for smooth Bridal Party communication, so you can get on with having an awesome time and ditch any potential stress!

Listen to Bridechilla episode 347

The Bridechilla community is not only dedicated to helping brides plan their wedding, we are also here to help bridesmaids know how to be a Maidchilla. On this episode of the Bridechilla Podcast, Aleisha shares what she has learned from her own experience and from her interaction with other people in the Bridechilla community about how to be a great bridesmaid. After listening to this episode, you can get much more information by purchasing Aleisha’s new book, The Maidchilla Manual, available for preorder on November 23, Black Friday 2018.

Maidchillas are an elite group of friends who are also now suddenly event planners and counselors and concierges who want to help their Bridechilla get all their shit in order and not lose their marbles!

Sharing the Bridechilla mindset with your bridal party

The Maidchilla Manual was written out of a need to extend the Bridechilla mindset into the wedding party. Many of the questions and comments within the Bridechilla community involve being a part of a wedding party. With so many differing traditions, preferences and expectations, it’s hard to know the proper etiquette for being a great bridesmaid. Aleisha shares some tips for how to manage expectations and increase the chill in the bridal party during this episode. 

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 

What is the difference between a bridesmaid and a Maidchilla? 

Bridesmaids can either be a delight or a disaster. A Maidchilla is different. They refuse to participate in petty arguments or drama. They realize their major role is to support their Bridechilla. Aleisha says that adopting the Bridechilla mindset puts a Maidchilla in an elite group of friends that help create great wedding planning and wedding day experience. Listen to the key differences between a typical bridesmaid and a Maidchilla on this week’s Bridechilla podcast. 

Communication is the key

In any relationship, communication is key. A lot of misunderstandings and issues can be avoided if expectations were communicated clearly from the outset. Aleisha says, “Most problems come from the assumption of information.” She stresses the importance of having honest conversations with the wedding party early on in the planning process. Talk about potential issues before they blow up into major problems. And most importantly, set expectations clearly so that there is no confusion about roles, whose in charge of what, what to wear, or any other part of wedding planning.

The Maidchilla Manual

The guide for how to be a Maidchilla

The goal of the new Maidchilla Manual is to provide solutions and options to make the wedding a kick-ass experience. Considering the variety of people and the different life-circumstances represented in most bridal parties, there is plenty of opportunity for issues to arises. Bringing together people who may not normally be acquainted can be difficult. On this week’s podcast, Aleisha shares from her personal experience of dealing with those difficulties and how she strives to be a Maidchilla herself. She also addresses many other issues related to having or being a part of a wedding party. 

Be sure to grab your copy of The Maidchilla Manual. You can preorder The Maidchilla Manual for a really sweet deal on Black Friday, November 23, 2018. For more information or to order, visit bridechillastore.com.

Show Highlights

  • [1:33] After many comments and questions about how to deal with bridesmaids, Aleisha is now addressing the topic with her new book The Maidchilla Manual
  • [6:33] The difference between being a bridesmaid and being a Maidchilla
  • [12:05] What is the job of a Maidchilla? 
  • [22:14] The big list of questions to ask your Bridechilla to help clarify expectations. 
  • [23:52] Aleisha shares a story of how she had to put aside her life circumstances to help make her friends wedding special
  • [30:02] Giving your wedding party choice and individuality with things like what to wear
  • [35:23] The Maidchilla manual has guidance for adopting the Bridechilla mindset
  • [36:29] How to deal with removing someone from your bridal party and how to avoid that situation altogether
  • [39:39] Remember that the wedding is about making a memorable day and not getting wrapped up in the drama or stress

Photo by Liz Weddon

Memorable Quotes

  • “Most problems come from the assumption of information.”
  • “I feel quite strongly that you shouldn’t invite people to the bachelorette or hen’s party that aren’t invited to the wedding.”
  • “Everyone involved (in the wedding) are at very different stages in their life”
  • “It would have to be very dramatic to remove someone from a bridal party, because that decision is a friendship ender or at least a friendship big-dent-maker.”

Photo by William Iven 

Show image by Brooke Cagle 

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

November 19, 2018
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Bridechilla Podcast

158- Wedding Q&A #Maidchilla Week

by Aleisha April 21, 2016
written by Aleisha

Who organises a hens or bachelorette party?
Do you need to prompt someone, allocate tasks? What if someone takes charge too much?
If you were in a friend’s wedding, does that me they have to be in yours? I also feature a great response about gifts for and from your #Maidchillas.
Why are we obsessed with buying more shit!? And I speak about The Brides Project, a wonderful charity that re-homes wedding dresses to raise money for cancer.

All that and a lot, lot more on the Save the Date Wedding Podcast, the #1 wedding planning podcast!

Have you subscribed to the Podcast yet? No? What are you waiting for? It's free and with two shows per week, they will delivered to your device as soon as I upload them!
Magic!
Subscribe on iTunes.
Subscribe on Android.

April 21, 2016
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Bridechilla Podcast

157- #Maidchilla Week – Bridesmaid for Hire

by Aleisha April 18, 2016
written by Aleisha

#Maidchilla Week just simply couldn’t be without interviewing Jen Glantz…you may have heard about her, she’s THE ‘Bridesmaid for Hire’…
A Professional Bridesmaid who’ll be your:-
‘Personal assistant- On-call therapist- Social director- The ultimate peacekeeper’.
Two years ago, Jen placed an advertisement on Craigslist, offering her services as a professional bridesmaid and after receiving an overwhelming response, she decided to turn it into a business.
Jen says her number one goal is to make sure the bride and her wedding party are stress free – and that their to-do list becomes her own personal responsibility.

Jen's currently working with over 25 brides who have weddings as far away as October 2016. She’s a great guest, who’s passion to help people and entrepreneurial spirit is energising.

April 18, 2016
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Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

364- Ditch Wedstress Stress Q&A with Aleisha

by Aleisha March 18, 2019
written by Aleisha

It’s time for you to ditch the stress in your wedding planning! One of the most popular shows are our Question and Answer episodes. So many Bridechillas are experiencing unique and difficult situations as they plan their wedding. Creating a community of support and encouragement is what Bridechilla is all about. In this episode, Aleisha discusses questions by recounting her own experiences and offering timely advice for Bridechillas and Groomchillas everywhere.

Listen to episode 346 of Bridechilla

A suggested episode for both partners

When planning a wedding, it is quite common for one of the partners to do the majority of the wedding planning. Often, the other partner might not be as thrilled about the planning part of getting married. They may struggle to understand the need for certain elements of the party or may express concern over the cost of the wedding. Bridechilla Stephanie suggested that Aleisha consider an upcoming podcast that would help both partners get on the same page. This potential episode could help bring understanding and unity for the couple. Listen as Aleisha considers this potential upcoming episode.

Sometimes you can look at yourself in the mirror and you hear yourself saying things and your like ‘Fuck I would never say that to someone that I loved or like or had nice positive things towards, why the fuck would I say that to myself?

Photo by Brooke Cagle 

How to help a friend after a break up

Even after the decision to get married has been made, trouble can come into the relationship. Not all couples that get engaged are able to go through with the wedding. All breakups are difficult. But breaking off an engagement can be especially painful. How can you support and help a friend who has broken their engagement? What can you say or do to encourage them and help them heal? Sharing from firsthand experience, Aleisha offers several ways to be a good friend during this difficult time.

Photo by Charisse Kenion

Say yes to the right dress

Since you only hope to ever get married once, it is important that you are happy with everything about the wedding. It is important to keep things in perspective and focus on the things that matter most. One non-negotiable for most Bridechilla’s is the wedding dress. You want to look and feel amazing in your dress on your wedding day. However, McKayla is having second guesses about her wedding dress. She says felt pressured to buy a dress on which she has put a sizable, non refundable down payment. What can she do? Aleisha gives some great advice for how to ditch the stress and get the dress you really want during this episode.

  • If you’ve really got the vibes in your tum-tum that this is not right for you, then you should start proceedings to get rid of that dress and find a dress that suits you.
  • Get in a Bridechilla Community

    One of the best ways to find encouragement and support through the Bridechilla Community is to join one of the Facebook groups. There are groups not only for brides, but also for Maidchillas and a new one for Parentchillas. These groups offer a place to ask questions, share ideas, and offer support to people who are experiencing some of the same things you are. Be a fully participating Bridechilla by joining in the conversation in one of these groups and ditch the stress in your wedding planning.

    Listen to episode 364 of Bridechilla

    Show Highlights

    • [0:47] Aleisha introduces today’s show, which is a Q&A session with questions submitted by the Bridechilla community
    • [1:58] Aleisha shares an iTunes review and feedback about a recent episode from Kat
    • [6:49] Bridechilla Stephanie would like an episode for the partners that may not be as invested in the wedding planning process
    • [10:40] How to help a friend deal with a break up with their fiance. Aleisha talks about her experience and gives advice
    • [18:35] Go to the Bridechilla store for the Bridechilla Survival, Field and Maidchilla manuals
    • [20:08] McKayla from Cincinnati is having second guesses about her wedding dress and wants to know how to handle it.
    • [28:29] Check out all of the Bridechilla Facebook groups

    Memorable Quotes

    • “I think we are all trying to change our approach and be a lot more body positive and just people positive in general.”
    • “If you are living in a share house, don’t have sex with one of the other share house people because it’s trouble. They’re not going to get into a relationship with you.”

    With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

    Show image by Sarah Diniz Outeiro

    Header image photo by Vitor Pinto

    March 18, 2019
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    Bridechilla Podcast

    334- Best Wedding Hacks Revisited

    by Aleisha August 20, 2018
    written by Aleisha

    A reboot of two classic Bridechilla Podcast episodes (154+155) where I asked The Bridechilla Community to share their best wedding planning hacks, tips and shortcuts. I was amazed at your ingenuity, money saving ideas and open mindedness when it came to this request.
    As well as including some of your best tips, in this episode I share with you some fabulous suggestions about using the shared economy…renting and hiring dresses and suits, using a ‘fake’ cake and repurposing bridesmaids bouquets…some jolly good hacks, timesavers and clever ideas that will help you save time, money and your sanity, when it comes to planning your big day.

    Listen to episode 334 of Bridechilla

    Helpful Bridechilla Blogs

    Your Best Money Saving Ideas
    Guide to Renting Your wedding and Bridesmaids dresses
    The Fuck it Bucket- Vendor Edition

    Photo by Sweet Ice Cream Photography

    Handy Wedding Hacks Links

    The Bridechilla Guides
    I would be fool to not mention that The Bridechilla Survival Guide and Bridechilla Field Guide (my books!) are both packed full of helpful wedding planning hacks!

    Google Docs Wedding template hub
    There are plenty of great (and FREE) user generated templates to use and edit here. 

    Rent the Runway
    Was a VERY popular #bridechilla suggestion from my US & Canadian listeners. So many tips about renting bridesmaids dresses (and wedding gowns), including using their ‘add a free backup size offer’.They offer 20% off your first order when you use the codeword FIRSTRT20P and check out their wedding guide for more info about their wedding range, including maidchilla dresses and accessories.  

    Wedding Paper Divas 
    For invitations and wedding stationery, a listener recommended Wedding Paper Divas! New customers can take advantage of $50 off orders of $150 or more using the code AFF50OFFWPD at checkout.

    Trello
    Trello is an online tool for managing projects and personal tasks. It's free to use and they've got a bunch of fabulous wedding templates and helpful tutorials. I am using it to manage all of your communications for the podcast and it is FAB! 100 gold stars. 

    Ebates (US Cashback site)
    You would be completely nutso to not join a cashback website. I use them religiously...like for everything. We book all of our holidays, I buy clothes, house stuff, pay bills...I mean the options are endless. 
    Topcashback (UK Cashback website

    All that and a lot, lot more on the Bridechilla Podcast, the #1 wedding planning podcast!

    Have you subscribed to the Podcast yet? No? What are you waiting for?​
    Magic!
    Subscribe on iTunes.
    Subscribe on Android.

    Thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

    Show image by Foto Pettine 

    August 20, 2018
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    Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

    272- Secrets of Bridesmaid Dress Shopping

    by Aleisha June 12, 2017
    written by Aleisha

    Shopping for Bridesmaids attire can be challenging for some Bridechillas, particularly if you don't have a firm vision of how you would like your bridal party to 'look'. When you think about it (without getting too existential) it's a pretty odd thing to do, choosing dresses for your friends and even weirder to make them all look the same...but hey there are lots of aspects of weddings that are strange and fun, I say embrace it! This episode of the Bridechilla Podcast tackles all of the highs and lows of shopping for and with your Maidchilla friends!
    There is a lot of scope for creativity, with the rise of the non matching bridesmaids dresses also opportunity to rent dresses that will help you embrace your friend's shapes, personalities and individual styles.

    Listen to episode 272 of Bridechilla

    Who Pays For Bridesmaids Dresses?

    Spend some time on wedding forums, and you will soon see that this is a fiercely contested a grey area and to be annoying (and avoid the backlash) I'm going to say it does depend on where you live.In my home country of Australia, Maidchillas get up are usually funded by the bride and groom whereas I understand that many Bridechillas in the USA ask their Maidchillas to pay for their dresses.

    Whichever path you are taking I encourage you to the open and communicative with your bridal party about the expectations of their attire and who is paying for what. If the bridal party is paying for the dress/suit, be mindful their financial situations. Not everyone is in the same position. If it’s awks to talk about this with the group then discuss privately and be mindful of that this can be a delicate topic for some.

    *I am someone who has used been personally financially stretched by being a part of a bridal party, and I felt embarrassed that I didn't feel as free and easy with cash as some of the other Maidchillas at the time.

    Group Decision And There Be Bridesmaids Dress Democracy?

    It great to be casual when it comes to some wedding planning decisions. However, miss free and easy can sometimes backfire, particularly when you are working with a group. Shopping with a group can be challenging. There are many voices, opinions and budgets. Having a direction and knowing a vague outcome of shopping expeditions, such as looking for gold, knee-length, cocktail dresses will give you a good start to keeping everyone focused and not going too rogue.

    Ditch the Matchy Matchy

    The current trend of mismatched Maidchillas dresses and outfits is excellent for embracing different styles and body shapes. It allows everyone to shine and is a lovely way to personalise bridesmaid attire and still stick to a theme or colour scheme if you so wish. The re-wearability is higher in these choices too.The mismatched look works best when there is some unity a theme.It could be a colour or design, a pattern or theme. The trick is finding a balance between, 'be free' and 'let's tie this thing together'.

    Mismatched Bridesmaids Options

    • How To Get it Right- Pick a material colour and give your bridesmaids the option of choosing the cut and style of dress/jumpsuit/gown
    • Choose a colour scheme and let them choose their dress (just be mindful of clashing. Giving them a colour swatch is an easy solution)
    • Purchase dresses from the same retailer, who use the same material but will create dresses in different styles
    • Incorporating a Bridesman into the mix by adding an accessory such as a pocket-chief (?), tie in matching colours to the bridesmaids, etc

    Ditch The Commitment,  Rent Bridesmaids Dresses Instead

    There is also a huge boom in renting Bridesmaids dresses, which gives you a big advantage in catering for different tastes, shapes and price ranges. This option is great for are looking to explore both the non-matching trend or if you are wanting you’re A-team to wear similar or matching attire. Vow to be Chic has hundreds of bridesmaid dresses to hire (Every order comes with 2 dresses, in 2 sizes, 2 weeks before the wedding, so no need for size panic) as does Rent The Runway. 

    Image by Vow to be Chic

    Again, taking advantage of finding packages and deals, with free shipping and also try-ons, you can create an event around trying on options, before you make your final decision.

    Thanks to Episode 272 guests, Danielle and Taylor from Kennedy Blue. 

    June 12, 2017
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    Hi, I’m Aleisha

    Hi, I’m Aleisha

    Founder of Bridechilla

    I created The Bridechilla Podcast, Guides and Facebook Community to empower you to plan an awesome wedding day and put all of the wedstress and obligation straight in the Fuck It Bucket!
    With 350+ episodes of Bridechilla, 3 Guides and hundreds of blogs, get started on your path to wedding planning zen!

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