Author

Aleisha

Hey there, I'm Aleisha, founder and host of the Bridechilla Podcast. I am also the author of the Bridechilla Guides. I'm inspired by our community of Chillas worldwide and empowering you to 'go your own way', as Fleetwood Mac would say, in your wedding planning and beyond!

Bridechilla Blog

400- Stress-Free Wedding Dress Shopping

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Shopping for your wedding attire can take you through a rollercoaster of emotions. From managing expectations (your own and those around you) to opinions, being overwhelmed with choice and considering budget...it's A LOT.
In the 400th episode of the Bridechilla Podcast, I welcome back to the show Cavin Elizabeth, who as a wedding photographer is one of our regular and (most popular) guests. Cavin and her husband David have just bought a bridal boutique, The White Flower Bridal Boutique! She offers some helpful tips for working with a stylist, finding the right fit, and who to take with you when you are shopping. 

Listen to the episode

Making the most of the shopping experience

You may have seen reality shows on television that follow brides shopping for their wedding dresses. Many times, they will have ten or twelve people with them, giving their input. When you begin shopping for your wedding dress, should you bring along that many people? Who should come with you to help you pick your dress? Cavin encourages brides to carefully consider who they invite, making sure everyone involved will make the experience comfortable and positive. She also suggests keeping the group small so that you don’t have to weigh too many opinions. . 

You don’t have to go to multiple stores. If you find something you are totally in love with, don’t feel like you have to keep shopping.

Image by Cavin Elizabeth

Avoiding wedding dress overwhelm

There are so many types and styles of dresses. How do you know where to start shopping so that you can find the best wedding dress? How can you avoid getting overwhelmed or falling victim to over-shopping? Finding the best wedding dress is really all about communication. Cavin suggests that you work with a stylist and communicate clearly what you like and what you don’t like. Share with them what makes you feel comfortable, what you would like to accentuate on your body, and let them help you find the right fit.

Image by Cavin Elizabeth

How can you find “the one”?

Much of the pressure in finding the best wedding dress comes from buying the lie that there is only one right dress. Believing that there is only one right dress could cause you to overthink the decision, unnecessarily overspend, and add to the stress of planning your wedding. However, realizing that there might be many good dresses and just finding one that you love and that makes you feel comfortable will make the buying process much less stressful. There’s no right or wrong dress. It’s all about finding what you want and being secure in your decision.

I totally think that whether it is in love and relationships or buying a wedding dress, that there is no actual ‘the one’, a single entity or person out in the world that is the perfect thing for you. I think there are many ‘the ones.

Comfort is the key

There are several factors to consider when buying a wedding dress. You could find a dress that looks great but that isn’t comfortable. Or the dress could be a great fit, but doesn’t leave any room for you to enjoy the food at the wedding. Brides should also consider how they might pose in the dress for photographs. Because of these and other factors, it is possible that you wind up with a dress that is much different than what you originally planned on. The key to finding the best wedding dress is being sure you are comfortable with the way you look and feel. 

That’s one of the things to keep in mind, most experiences in stores are way more chill unless you bring like 6 plus guests with you, in which case it could get really rowdy. So I highly recommend keeping it to a small number of guests.

Show Highlights

  • [0:40] Aleisha introduces the 400th episode and guest, Cavin Elizabeth, and talks about her new business venture, The White Flower

  • [4:42] Aleisha shares the unique advertising campaign of Snowbird ski resort 

  • [6:01] This episode is about wedding dress shopping. Where do you start?

  • [8:34] If you don’t feel emotionally attached to it, resale your wedding dress

  • [9:30] How the wedding dress shopping experience differs from what you see on television

  • [12:11] What guests, and how many, should you take with you when you are picking out a wedding dress?

  • [15:23] How a negative person can change a bride’s opinion about a dress and how to avoid that experience

  • [19:32] Over-shopping and overwhelm can make dress shopping even more difficult 

  • [21:11] Do you have to have a dream dress in mind and is there just one right dress for you?

  • [25:07] The importance of comfort when buying your wedding dress and how to communicate with your stylist to achieve your wants

  • [29:08] Aleisha shares a story of how her stylist asked how much weight she intended to lose before her wedding

  • [33:32] What are wedding dress samples and how buying one works. 

  • [38:05] When trying on dresses, sometimes you leave with a different type of dress than you planned on

  • [40:55] How to make the most of a different shaped dress when thinking about photography

  • [45:22] How you can get in touch with Cavin Elizabeth and where her store is located

Resale of gowns - don’t hold on to the gown if you don’t feel emotionally attached to it. Just get rid of it...

Photo by Charisse Kenion

Listen to the episode

Meet Cavin Elizabeth

Cavin Elizabeth is a wedding film photographer based in San Diego.  She loves to connect with each and every one of her couples so that they feel truly at-ease and comfortable with her every step of the way. Her style of organic posing and her ability to loosen up anybody in front of her camera gives her images a romantic, authentic, and dreamy look. Her work has been featured by top wedding publications, including Martha Stewart Weddings, Style Me Pretty, and more.
Cavin published a book that teaches couples how to make the most out of their wedding photography and have magazine worthy images entitled A Bride’s Guide to a Picture Perfect Wedding. 

See Cavin's new store- https://www.thewhiteflower.com/

Show image by Cavin Elizabeth

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399- Bring Your Wedding Venue to Life with Kevin Dennis

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

After you’ve made the important decision of where your wedding will be held, then it is time to decide how you can bring your wedding venue to life. What are some ways you can transform your wedding venue? Start by listening to this episode of the Bridechilla podcast with guest Kevin Dennis, owner of Fantasy Sound Event Services in Livermore, California. Kevin has been in the wedding industry for 25 years and has a wealth of experience using sound, video, lighting, and decor to turn boring venues into beautiful and memorable spaces. 

Listen to the episode

The more you know up front, the easier the planning process is going to be

Know the rules of your venue

Every venue is unique. Some venues are new and neutral. They provide a blank canvass that you can decorate to create the space of your dreams. Other venues are storied, historic places that don’t need or allow any additions. Every venue has their own set of rules and regulations for how the space can and cannot be used. It is important to know the limitations of the venue before you make decorating and lighting plans. Kevin Dennis shares some of his experiences and gives insight on how to plan for different types of venues.

The other thing that people forget to ask is, how much time do we have for set up?

Photo by Sweet Ice Cream Photography

Transformation takes time

With the amount of information and images available online, couples could make huge plans for the way they want to decorate their venue. The options are endless with hanging draperies, chandeliers, and other venue-transforming decor. In order to bring your wedding venue to life in the way that you’ve dreamed, it takes time. Knowing how much time you will have to work in the venue prior to the wedding will help keep the choices and plans realistic. Kevin explains that time is one of the greatest limitations for accomplishing the vision. 

People should be mindful of asking the venue this questions before you sign contracts if you have expectations that you want to make changes or hang things up or do anything that might require extra work.

Spruce up your space without spoiling your budget 

Bringing your wedding venue to life doesn’t always require a huge budget. While it can be tempting to go overboard with tons of decorations, there are some cheap, easy, and effective options. One way to spruce up your space on a shoestring budget is through the use of lighting. Kevin explains that many times couples will see an image of a wedding that they like that can be accomplished simply with colored lights. He also discusses the trend of using Edison bulbs in venues. Hear more about how you can use lighting at your wedding venue during this podcast.

Photo by Patrick Tomasso 

How to find the right vendors to bring your wedding venue to life

Having been in the wedding industry for so long, Kevin Dennis offers his unique advice and experience of not only transforming venues, but also dealing with other vendors. A typical wedding has several vendors, including sound and lighting, florists, food service, and a wedding coordinator as well as a host of others. How can you ensure that vendors are working well with each other to accomplish your vision? And how can you coordinate with each vendor to establish a timeline? Kevin discusses the importance of working with quality vendors and relying on recommendations to hire the right vendors. If you want to bring your wedding venue to life, then be sure to listen to this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

If your venue is doing any kind of open house, showcase, vendor fair, any of that kind of stuff that happens in the evening, go. Because you want to see what your venue looks like in the evening, with nothing

Photo by Oleg Ivanov 

Listen to the episode

Show Highlights

  • [0:29] Aleisha introduces this episode’s guest, Kevin Dennis, owner of Fantasy Sound Event Services in Livermore, California

  • [3:53] Kevin talks about how he started his business and some of the fun things he sees when doing an event

  • [6:00] How to start thinking about using lighting and decorations to transform your venue

  • [10:07] The importance of knowing how long you have for set up in the venue where your wedding will be held

  • [13:25] Some venues have limitations on what you can or cannot do. Couples should find out those rules beforehand

  • [19:53] How Kevin works with wedding coordinators and couples to establish the wedding timeline

  • [23:12] Lighting can be a great, inexpensive way to change the look of your venue

  • [25:50] Edison bulbs are a trendy lighting solution that offer a varied, antique look in a wedding venue

  • [29:11] The difference having a quality sound system at your event can make

  • [35:14] If you are using a band, be sure to get the rider so you know their requirements

  • [36:37] Testimonial and recommendations are a great way to connect with quality vendors

  • [38:17] Some venues have requirements for vendors that should be considered when booking a venue

Kevin Dennis- Fantasy Sound Event Services

Kevin Dennis is the editor of WeddingIQ and the owner of Fantasy Sound Event Services, a full-service event company based in Livermore, California. Dennis is the past president for Silicon Valley NACE, and current international president for WIPA.

Connect with Fantasy Sound:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/fantasysound
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fsesevents
Twitter: https://twitter.com/fantasysound

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by ​

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398- Wedding Planning Q&A

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

One characteristic of the Bridechilla community is their desire and commitment to avoid wedding drama. There is ample opportunity for stress and drama to arise when planning a wedding. On this Q&A episode of the Bridechilla podcast, Aleisha answers questions about areas of potential drama and how to steer clear of them before and during the wedding. Hear voicemails concerning picking a venue, dealing with frendors, and how to handle disapproving family members. 

Listen to the episode

There has to be something that, you close your eyes and picture the day. Where is that place. There has to be something that differentiates them

How to pick the right venue for your wedding

One of the hardest parts of wedding planning is deciding on a venue. Do you have a destination wedding, pick a trendy, instagramable location, or go with a more sentimental venue? Bridechilla Lauren is torn between two venues, one that she loves but has no attachment to, and another in the town where she and her fiancé met. However, she already has a venue booked. Why is she still considering another venue? Aleisha helps Lauren think through some of the pros and cons between venues and gives advice for choosing the right place.

I’m just a big believer, when you are hiring wedding vendors, whether you know them personally or not, you need to be able to rely on them

Should you hire a friendor?

Hiring a freindor, or a friend who is also a vendor, can be both a blessing and a curse. It could be mutually beneficial. You may get a discounted service and your friend gets some experience and exposure, which is especially important if they are just starting out. There is a danger that you might not get the quality of service you want or your friendship could be strained or damaged in the process. Should you use friendors? If so, what is the best way to go about it? Hear Aliesha’s answer to that and other questions from the Bridechilla community on this Q&A episode of the podcast. 

Just treat this relationship as a friendly but also a business relationship. You are absolutely a-ok to do that.

Photo by Annie Spratt 

I think weddings are a really good time to start asserting yourself in a way that you deserve to assert yourself.

Avoiding family wedding drama

Family can be one of the biggest sources of wedding drama. Bridechilla Ann is struggling with the demands of family while planning her wedding. She feels the obligation to follow their advice about the ceremony and to invite people she doesn’t really want to attend. While the goal is to have your wedding be only what you want without any obligation to anyone else, sometimes that is just not possible. Aleisha discusses how to still have the wedding you want while balancing the responsibility you have to your family. 

Photo by Haley Phelps

Keys to conflict resolution in wedding planning

Avoiding wedding drama often means that you have to address problems and issues head on. Almost everyone wants to avoid conflict. However, in life, relationships, and wedding planning, conflict is inevitable. Aleisha encourages Bridechillas to use the wedding as an opportunity to be assertive and learn how to effectively handle conflict. One helpful solution is to not consider it a fight, but rather a resolution. Listen to helpful advice about that and other wedding planning issues on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

Sometime it’s good if you can turn the question onto the other person and ask them ‘What would you do if you were in my position?

Listen to the episode

Show Highlights

  • [0:58] Aleisha talks about the booth she records in and the uncomfortable stool that she sits on to record the podcast

  • [1:46] Today’s episode is a Q&A episode, addressing questions from the Bridechilla community

  • [2:42] Bridechilla Lauren asks for help in deciding between two venues, and how to choose the one that aligns with their priorities

  • [6:02] When you have a venue already booked, why would you continue to look for another venue?

  • [7:50] Hailey asks how to handle her friend/make up artist who has been disrespectful to her during the planning process

  • [10:45] Aliesha addresses whether or not taking back a plus one invite for a friend is contentious

  • [11:38] No one likes confrontation, but there is a way to be assertive without being confrontational

  • [15:00] Bridechilla Anna asks about potential missing pages in the field guide for planning food

  • [21:15] Ann is struggling with obligation to her family and difficulty finding a church while planning her wedding

  • [26:22] What do you do when your important family members don’t approve of your life choices? Do you still invite them to the wedding and risk having drama?

  • [31:54] How you can use family members or your wedding planner to help alleviate family drama during the wedding

  • [32:47] Do you invite a friendor to the wedding even though you wouldn’t invite them if they weren’t a vendor

  • [36:05] Aleisha offers thanks to everyone who has been sharing the podcast with their friends and purchasing the Bridechilla field guide

  • [37:36] Bridechilla Amanda is planning her own bachelorette party and wants to know how to best accommodate her bridesmaids for the party since they aren’t all local

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Photo by Adrianna Van Groningen

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397- Easy Ways To Plan a Sustainable Wedding

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Your wedding doesn’t have to leave a negative mark on the environment. There are some easy ways to plan a sustainable wedding, which is exactly what Aleisha shares on this podcast. Weddings can be incredibly wasteful. Disposable plates and cups, clothing worn only once and then discarded, and flowers that aren’t sustainably sourced are just a few of the ways weddings can take their toll on the environment. However, during this episode, you will hear several great and resourceful ideas for reducing your environmental impact without sacrificing your wedding dreams. 

Listen to the episode

Ways to reduce food waste

We all bear the responsibility of taking care of the environment. With the wedding industry continuing to expand, planning a sustainable, eco-friendly wedding is increasingly important. If you don’t know where to start, this episode includes some great tips. One of the most common items wasted at a wedding is food. Knowing a firm guest-list count and working with your food vendor can keep from food being discarded after the wedding. Listen as Bridechilla Kathryn shares her ideas for reducing food waste and more.

You think about all the stuff you are doing already, there is just a slight pivot in the choices you are making there. And also, it’s not costing you any more money. And actually using recycled and repurposed clothing and decor and renting things will save you money

Clothe yourself in sustainability

Many couples buy brand new dresses and suits for themselves and their wedding party. Often, these items are worn once and either stored for eternity or discarded. There are options that reduce clothing waste, including renting, buying pre-owned, or buying items that can be re-worn in the future. Also, when considering clothing, it is important to think about where and how the clothes are made. Buying ethically made clothing is one easy way to plan a sustainable wedding.

If you can find your dream dress and rent it, why wouldn’t you?

Support charity and find your dream dress

The Brides Project is a bridal boutique…with a heart!  Wedding dresses are donated to The Brides Project from all across the country. Some are “pre-loved” – donated by brides who want to see them dance another day.  Many are donated directly from bridal salons, so they are brand new! The best part of all is that the money raised from the sale of gowns supports families touched by cancer through the Cancer Support Community of Greater Ann Arbor.

I think this sort of fast shopping is really irresponsible in some parts because it is so easy to get stuff that its not even a thought

Wedding Rentals- florals

Something Borrowed Blooms is a rent & return floral boutique who specializes in creating wedding flower collections using premium silk flowers. The flowers are rented to you for your wedding, for a fraction of the cost of a traditional florist. Check out their instagram for inspo.

Jane Bridal Bouquet by Something Borrowed Blooms

Accessories rental

Happily Ever Borrowed is the premiere, luxury, e-boutique that RENTS bridal veils & accessories to brides for their wedding day!  Try their Send Before You Spend Box!  Choose any 3 pieces on our site for just $50 and when you return them to us, you get $25 towards your wedding day rental!

Choose porcelain over plastic

While it might seem easier to use plastic tableware at your wedding, consider the environmental impact all that trash can have. Aleisha discusses the option of using washable plates and cups to serve your guests. She also shares a great way to reduce beer bottle and can waste. Taking a few small steps will not only reduce waste, but will look nicer and can actually save you money. A little creativity goes a long way in saving the environment and saving your wedding budget. Hear more tips during this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

There are some really good, modern, very well priced designers out there who make a point of saying ‘we don’t use factories that do bad things, we encourage supportive working environments that are paying a living wage and 4-year-olds aren’t making your wedding dress.

Photo by Freddy G

Planning a sustainable wedding is possible

One of the easiest ways to plan a sustainable wedding is to work with a wedding planner and vendors who are considerate of the environment. Many vendors will have alternative ideas that will help you avoid waste in your wedding.They can draw from their experience to help you come up with helpful ideas. During this episode, Aleisha discusses different partners and sponsors who provide great options that are also eco friendly. A sustainable wedding doesn’t have to be difficult. It just takes mindfulness and collaboration. Listen to this podcast to hear many ideas to help you plan your own sustainable wedding. 

More sustainable steps can make a big difference

  • Join local online wedding sale groups to buy repurposed décor, attire and other wedding items (we have a Bridechilla Buy and Sell Facebook group, you should totally join)
  • Consider going paper-free or at least reducing your paper usage by creating a wedding website and encouraging guests to RSVP and communicate online. Wedding pintables such as menus and programs are often glanced at for 2 seconds by guests and put aside, reduce these items by creating a one menu per table, or one big wedding program timeline that you can make into a sign.
  • Before buying a wedding related item, take a moment to Marie Kondo the shit out of it (google her) and ask yourself, ‘does this item bring me joy?’ and ‘does it add value to my guests (and your own) wedding experience?’
  • Although they had a real moment a couple of years ago balloons and lanterns are something that every sustainable wedding day can do without. Balloons, although colorful and pretty are an abomination to the environment and often end up in the ocean or being eaten by an unsuspecting birds or animals. Lanterns, that are often ceremoniously lit and float up into the atmosphere at the end of the night been have reported to have started wildfires and if they don’t burn out just become litter.
  • Ask your venue about recycling. Do they recycle cans and bottles used at their events? If not, why not?

Show Highlights

  • [0:33] Aleisha explains the inspiration behind this week’s podcast, which is about planning a sustainable wedding

  • [3:50] Bridechilla Kathyrn shared a post in the Bridechilla podcast detailing her ideas for reducing waste at her wedding

  • [5:41] Aleisha mentions the blog that Bridechilla Sarah shares with the community with other sustainable wedding planning ideas

  • [6:49] Alexis includes her plans for reducing waste which includes rewearable bridesmaid dresses, not using plastic for food service, and avoiding using water bottles

  • [8:00] One way to reduce waste is to use kegs instead of individual beer cans or bottles

  • [9:53] How to work with a spouse that might not be as open to making sustainable decisions during wedding planning

  • [13:15] There are increasingly more companies who rent high end, classy wedding apparel that help you avoid buying new dresses that you’ll never wear again

  • [15:53] Bridechilla Karen is using used wine bottles as their centerpieces, did everything electronically, and did edible favors

  • [22:46] Ask your venue what environmentally friendly measures they take

  • [23:57] Knowing where and how your clothes are made is another way to mindfully and ethically plan your wedding

  • [29:29] Picking a good florist can also help you reduce your wedding’s environmental footprint

  • [32:03] Communicating your desire for sustainability requires savvy communication skills

  • [35:36] Bridechilla Sarah, a wedding planner, tries to help her clients think of eco-friendly ideas for their wedding, including using one glass for the evening, potted plants as centerpieces, etc. 

  • [39:09] Aleisha discusses the jewelry industry and the importance of researching the company and how they source their diamonds and metals.

Listen to the episode

Recommended further reading

Wildlife friendly wedding guide

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by James Owen

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396- Avoiding Wedding Planning Burnout

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

This week’s Bridechilla Podcast episode is all about how to avoid wedding planning burnout. We all know what it is like to feel the effects of stress. There is a mental, physical, and emotional toll. Burnout can happen at any stage in life, but wedding planning can be a particularly vulnerable time. Trying to organize and plan an event, the size and scope of which you probably have never done before, while also managing the normal aspects of life is no small task. How can you avoid burnout and enjoy the wedding planning process. Hear some of Aleisha’s tips on this podcast.

There is no right way to do all this stuff.

Listen to the Bridechilla Podcast episode

It’s all about perspective

There is a lot of pressure to have the most amazing wedding ever. The internet is full of picturesque weddings that look incredible and effortless. Many of those pictures are staged and unrealistic. Wedding planning is highly involved, but it shouldn’t be considered the peak of achievement. It is important to keep the wedding in perspective with all of the other responsibilities and accomplishments in your life. This perspective will help you from being overwhelmed and give you the freedom to plan the kind of wedding you want. 

Even if you are not feeling stressed...it’s also good to just be aware of how you’re feeling and to take a little moment to check in and plan for the future when it may very well happen

Photo by Victoria Heath​

What are the symptoms of burnout

Burnout can sneak up on you if you aren’t paying attention. You can continue to push, trying to manage all of your responsibilities without taking the time to care for yourself. However, if you take a moment and assess, you will notice the symptoms of stress and burnout. Aleisha talks about several symptoms of burnout, including what she calls “stress breath”. Listen to this episode to hear other symptoms and how you can identify them in your life. 

The pros and cons of a wedding planning timeline 

One way to avoid wedding planning burnout is to utilize a wedding planning timeline. They can help you prioritize your tasks and make decisions as needed. However, timelines aren’t perfect. Every wedding is different. Timelines are simply tools to be used, and should be adapted to your unique situation. It is ok if you don’t follow the timeline exactly. Listen to this episode to hear the ways timelines can be both helpful and harmful, and how you can use them in a way that reduces stress during wedding planning. 

With wedding planning, something that a lot of us hasn’t done before, you go through this stage where you are like ‘what now? What do i do?

Photo by Jacob Postuma

Wedding planning limbo

During the wedding planning process, there will be a time when you will start to feel overwhelmed. You will feel like you haven’t done enough, or that you don’t know what to do next. Be encouraged that this feeling is normal. Every couple planning a wedding has experienced this. However, when you reach this wedding planning limbo, don’t give in to the stress. Aleisha gives helpful ideas for what to do when you reach this stage of planning. Listen to hear about that and much more on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

Timelines should be something that are helpful to be able to tick off different tasks but you shouldn’t feel like you have to do something at a certain stage because every event is different.

Listen to the Bridechilla Podcast episode

Show Highlights

  • [0:43] Aleisha introduces this episode’s topic, avoiding wedding planning burnout

  • [3:02] Wedding planning isn’t the peak achievement of life and shouldn’t be treated as such

  • [5:05] Burnout can happen quickly, especially when you are planning a wedding while also trying to balance all of the other commitments and obligations you have in everyday life. 

  • [7:14] Aleisha describes the token symptoms of burnout and how she senses it coming.

  • [11:36] How to effectively use a wedding planning timeline without letting them overwhelm you. 

  • [15:38] Streamlining your wedding planning and completing small tasks can help alleviate stress

  • [21:40] The importance of clarity in avoiding burnout

  • [23:08] The stage of engagement when most couples hit burnout in wedding planning.

  • [25:48] How regular should communication with vendors or coordinator happen?

  • [29:54] The physical symptoms of stress and burnout. 

  • [32:03] Aleisha talks about the new group she has set up for the Bridechilla community called Bosschilla. 

  • [34:00] How to get in touch with Aleisha

For me, one of the big symptoms of burnout is physical, feeling tired, feeling puffy and bloated, feeling vague and reactive

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by mari lezhava​

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395- Wedding Planning Q&A with Leah Weinberg

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, guest Leah Weinberg, founder of Color Pop Events, joins the show for some wedding planning Q&A. Leah took her expertise and attention to detail as a commercial real estate attorney and turned it into a business planning beautiful, detailed, and stress free weddings for couples in New York. She lends her advice to the Bridechilla Community about how to deal with family members you don’t like, managing the wedding budget, and how to make the last few weeks of planning the wedding stress free.

Listen to episode 395 of Bridechilla

How to have the non-traditional wedding of your dreams

Couples often make the mistake of trying to please their family members or friends with their wedding. However, the wedding really is all about them and, as such, should only include what they want. Bridechilla Nat writes in and shares her nontraditional wedding and how going to 22 weddings in 11 years helped her define the type of wedding she wants. If you are wanting something different and non-traditional for your wedding but don’t know how to go about it, be sure to listen to this episode.

You want an olive branch, just go to dinner. Go to the movies. Do something. She doesn’t have to be a bridesmaid in your wedding.

Photo by Devon Divine 

Don’t let your family hijack your wedding plans

Family members can be a blessing and a curse. While they can be a source of support and encouragement at times, they can also be a major source of stress. How do you deal with family members who have unrealistic expectations or who make ridiculous requests? Bridechilla Emily asks how to deal with her brother who wants her to include his fiance as a bridesmaid. The trouble is that Emily doesn’t even get along with her. Hear Aleisha and Leah’s advice about this issue and much more. 

I hate that the wedding planning process makes people question themselves. In so many ways they question their decisions, their appearance, and sometimes their relationships.

Photo by Rachel Lees

Planning and sticking to the wedding budget

Whenever there is a bridechilla wedding planning Q&A episode, the topic of budget always seems to come up. How do you set an appropriate budget? How do you stay on budget when planning a wedding? How can you be on the same page with your partner about the budget? These are all very important questions that not only help with wedding planning, but contribute to marital unity in the future. Alexa and her fiance are struggling to agree on the wedding size and budget. Aleisha and Leah offer their encouragement and support as they answer Alexa’s question. 

It’s a lot of money on a one time thing and you want to make sure you are spending it on something you want and that makes you happy

How to make the last week before the wedding stress free

Wedding planning can be quite a long a tedious process. But the payoff is hopefully spectacular, memorable event with loved ones to celebrate your marriage with your partner. When getting down to the last week of planning, it is important to reduce the stress so that you can focus on being in the moment and enjoying the wedding day. During the wedding planning Q&A episode, Aleisha and Leah give advice for how to approach the week before the wedding. Hear that and much more on the Bridechilla podcast. 

I think people may not realize how busy they are going to be that last week. I highly encourage if you are able to take off that whole week from work.

ASMR Wedding Planning 

Leah and Aleisha spoke about ASMR, Autonomous sensory meridian response and whether they found it relaxing. Leah thinks that Aleisha may have a second (or third career as an ASMR voice over person), Aleisha is less convinced. In the show, Aleisha shares a clip by Isabel imagination ASMR, a You-tuber who focuses on creating (very well received) ASMR videos.

Listen to the episode

Show Highlights

  • [0:39] Aleisha introduces the episode and special guest Leah Weinberg from Color Pop Events
  • [3:29] Nat has been to 22 weddings in 11 years and describes how just and her fiance are not into a traditional wedding
  • [5:50] Leah talks about how the wedding planning process makes people question themselves and discusses her book that addresses that issue
  • [7:50] Nat shares the ways she is planning an untraditional wedding, rejecting people’s advice or expectations so that she and her fiance can have the wedding they want.
  • [10:17] Emily asks for advice for dealing with her brothers fiance and how to avoid having her as a bridesmaid.
  • [13:18] Recently engaged Alexa asks how to get on the same page with her fiance about the type of wedding and how to utilize their budget. 
  • [17:04] Aleisha warns against the loan sharks who offer loans or credit to pay for a wedding.
  • [23:32] Aleisha and Leah talk about their reaction to ASMR
  • [27:05] Erin asks about how to approach the “homestretch” of planning her wedding.
  • [31:28] How do you stay focused at work when you have a wedding coming up?
  • [35:07] Aleisha and Leah talk about what they pitched to Alt Summit

Meet This Episode’s Guest

Leah Weinberg is the founder of Color Pop Events, a wedding planning business dedicated to bringing dream weddings to life in New York and New Jersey. Leah took her expertise and attention to detail she developed  in commercial real estate law and turned it into planning unforgettable weddings with professionalism and style. Her calm spirit and unflappable demeanor takes the stress out of the wedding so that couples can fully experience their special day together. 

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by  Kendra Allen

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394- Q&A – Making Good Wedding Planning Decisions

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Whether it’s trying to find the right dress, book the perfect venue, or plan the most beautiful ceremony, there are a lot of decisions to be made when planning your wedding. Often these decisions can lead to stress and anxiety. It doesn’t have to be this way. The Bridechilla podcast is here to help you stress less and enjoy the process of planning your wedding.
This episode Aleisha answers wedding planning questions about weekday weddings and guests leaving early, rehearsal dinner speeches and when to not invite family members who might be antagonistic or cause trouble on your wedding day.

Listen to episode 394 of Bridechilla

How to make a weekday wedding work

Madeline is a fellow Bridechilla and Australian who has a question about her venue. While most weddings are held on the weekend, is it possible to have a weekday wedding? What impact will that have on the guests that you want to come? There are certain advantages both with the venue and with vendors if you book your wedding on a weekday. There are also ways that you can make it a bit easier on your guests while still having the wedding you want. Hear Aleisha’s advice on making the unconventional but potentially beneficial decision of having a weekday wedding.

“I really support you in booking a weekday wedding. I know they are not as convenient as a weekend wedding for guests. However as a couple planning a wedding, and working with vendors, it could be a really good opportunity to score a venue that you really like that’s otherwise not available

Photo by Jonathan Borba 

A wedding before the wedding

Tradition is only as good as the people who intend to use it. If particular traditions don’t mean anything to you, then why use them? Bridechilla Katrina and her fiance are nontraditional and want to include that part of their personality in their wedding plans. She asks Aleisha about the idea of eloping prior to the big wedding ceremony. Rather than abandoning the event with their family and guests, they want to have a small private ceremony first. However, that doesn’t necessarily sit well with some family members. Aleisha shares her thoughts on how to best handle this nontraditional approach during this podcast. 

You can have the night off child care regardless of whose kids you are feeding...

What to do with the kids? 

Mariah is engaged to be engaged to her fiance who has kids of his own. During the wedding, she’d prefer not to be at a table with the kids. She doesn’t want to have to parent or have kid-inclusive conversations on a day that is all about her and her fiance. She asks for Aleisha’s opinion on this desire and for advice on how to best accomplish this without upsetting her fiance or other family members. Listen to this episode to hear Aleisha discuss this and other questions from the Bridechilla community.

Photo by Mikael Kristenson 

Facing feuding family members

The topic of family is one that comes up in almost every Q&A episode that we have on the Bridechilla podcast. Families can be supportive, helpful, and fantastic overall. Or they can be difficult, petty, and a living nightmare. Bridechilla Hannah has two family issues that she is having to deal with while planning her wedding. One involves honoring grandparents, while the other involves feuding brothers. Hear the details of this unique situation and what Aleisha has to say about it on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

Listen to episode 394 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

  • [0:27] Aleisha introduces this episode of the podcast, which is the ever popular wedding planning Q&A episode.

  • [2:20] Madeline asks about the potential having a Thursday wedding and if people would be inclined to leave the reception early because it’s not on the weekend.

  • [6:18] Aleisha gives practical solutions for how to adjust your wedding plans to maintain the magic and make it more accommodating for guests

  • [8:17] Katrina and her fiance are untraditional and want Aleisha’s thoughts about eloping prior to the big wedding ceremony. 

  • [13:41] Mariah who is engaged to be engaged and asks about seating arrangements and what to do about her husband-to-be’s kids at the wedding.  

  • [22:54] Gina asks for guidance regarding speeches for both the rehearsal dinner and wedding day for their intimate wedding in Greece. 

  • [27:00] Bridechilla Hannah asks questions about dealing with family issues while planning her wedding. She talks about her grandparents and estranged uncles. 

  • [31:33] The wedding is all about you and your comfort level. Aleisha gives advice for dealing with volatile family members. 

  • [33:07] Don’t forget, the Bridechilla pack with the two books that Aleisha has produced is available. 

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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393- Planning for the Unforeseen Circumstances

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Though you envision your wedding day as being nothing short of perfect, it is wise to also planning for unforeseen circumstances. No one wants to imagine the things that can go wrong on their special day. However, there are certain events or relationships that can cause issues. Rather than being naive and unprepared, work with your friends, family members, and vendors to develop contingencies so that you can still have a beautiful, magical day. On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, guest Emily Sullivan or Emily Sullivan Events, joins Aleisha to discuss how brides and grooms can best plan for unforeseen circumstances. 

Listen to episode 393 of Bridechilla

While there are certain circumstances that you simply can’t plan for, you can plan for the eventuality that something will go wrong. Emily says that in her experience, something goes wrong everyday. Building in a contingency plan is what keeps a minor hiccup from turning into a complete train wreck. Emily suggests that the best way to plan for unforeseen circumstances is to start with the best, high quality vendors. When picking out the people who will supply or serve your wedding, make sure that they have the experience and expertise to both avoid unnecessary drama and know how to handle it if it arises. 
When you are trying to get a deal and something bigger comes along, that vendor is going to take that bigger thing because they don’t necessarily have the right work ethic

What situations should you prepare for?

During their conversation, Aleisha and Emily discuss the types of unforeseen circumstances that could threaten your wedding day. Emily’s event company is based out of New Orleans, Louisiana, so she quickly cites natural disasters as one of those threats. It could also be a vendor cancelation or no-show, a rogue family member, or a host of other unexpected events. Hear their list of possible wedding wreckers so that you can better prepare for these things during your wedding. 

I am a big advocate of vendor boundaries. It doesn’t necessarily mean your vendors are available to you 24 hours a day.

Photo by Dmitriy Nushtaev

Working with the right people is a great first step

One of the keys to avoiding or handling unforeseen circumstances is hiring the right vendors. Everything about the wedding day hinges on and celebrates great relationships. However, having great vendors doesn’t necessarily mean that they are at your disposal, night and day. When establishing a relationship with a vendor you want to be sure and respect appropriate boundaries. You can’t expect them to be available all the time, nor can you hold them responsible for issues that might arise. Emily and Aleisha talk about ways to create a great working relationship with vendors and how to mitigate risk during this podcast. 

One of the first things we tell our clients when they hire us is go ahead and get this wedding insurance policy, so that you don’t have to worry about that if it comes down to it.

Disasters aren't always natural...

One common unforeseen circumstances that Emily has seen during her time as a planner comes in the form of difficult family members. Every family has their own share of outliers who, given the opportunity, can cause real trouble. It is important to let you wedding planner or vendors know ahead of time about the potential rogue family members so that they can help formulate a plan. As you are planning your wedding, be sure you listen to this episode and consider what unforeseen circumstances you should be preparing for on your special day. 

The best bet when dealing with family drama is don’t pretend it’s not there. Deal with it

Photo by Sweet Ice Cream Photography

Trust your gut when you are hiring your vendors. Do your research, listen to what your gut is saying and go in that direction.

Listen to the episode

  • [0:34] Aleisha introduces today’s guest, Emily Sullivan, owner of Emily Sullivan events in New Orleans, Louisiana

  • [3:07] During the beginning stages of wedding planning, how can you protect yourself and prepare for things that could go wrong?

  • [6:23] The role of trust in picking vendors is critical in helping mitigate issues that could arise during planning or on the wedding day

  • [9:13] Aleisha and Emily talk through the major types of unforeseen circumstances that could threaten your wedding 

  • [12:45] The importance of wedding insurance and how it can help protect you in the event that something threatens your plans

  • [19:24] Get the audio version of the Bridechilla Wedding Planning Survival guide on audible

  • [22:10] What are some warning signs that you should look for when hiring vendors

  • [23:33] Vendors and clients should show mutual respect and have definite boundaries

  • [27:27] Emily tells a story about a client who wanted to go against her advice and how she dealt with that.

  • [30:02] What do you do if a vendor cancels? What do you do if you don’t have a wedding planner to help you deal with vendors? 

  • [34:07] If you have a cancelation, utilize the expertise of the other vendors to help find a replacement

  • [35:35] How to deal with unreasonable or misbehaving family members. 

  • [41:02] If you think there might be an issue with a family member, think through it beforehand and how you might deal with it. 

  • [43:03] How to get in touch with Emily Sullivan

Meet This Episode’s Guest

Emily Sullivan is the owner of Emily Sullivan Events in New Orleans, Louisiana. She started planning weddings in 2006 and has become one of the premiere planners in the area. She is committed to evolving with the times, keeping herself and team relevant within the wedding industry. Her experience, expertise, and personality are a perfect combination to help brides and grooms plan the wedding they want while keeping them calm and secure during the process. 

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Ashley Schulze

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392- Q&A- How to Feel Better About Yourself While Planning Your Wedding

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Whether you are planning a wedding or just going through something stressful, it is nice to hear that other people are dealing with similar issues. Sometimes you hear about other people’s problems and it makes you feel better. Helping you get through the wedding planning process is what we are all about on the Bridechilla podcast. That’s why we are sharing problems and questions from the Bridechilla community. On this episode, Aleisha addresses questions about assigning roles and responsibilities to your wedding party, abandoning the first look, and how to know how many invitees will actually be at the wedding.

Listen to episode 392 of Bridechilla

Pick and choose your traditions

When planning your wedding, you might decide there are certain traditions that you don’t want to adhere to. Is it crazy to have a non-traditional wedding. There are many wedding traditions that you might choose to include in your ceremony. However, many customs might not make sense or be meaningful to you. Your wedding is about you, so you can choose to do whatever you want. Bridechilla Kelly doesn’t want just a traditional maid-of-honor. She wants three. Hear Aleisha’s advice for how to define roles for the three maids and how to make this unique arrangement work. 

Photo by Miguel Ángel Hernández

No matter what label we are putting on people we are asking to help, the big thing is having a discussion with them about their expectations and your expectations.

Skip the secrets

Another tradition that a lot of couples choose to do is to keep the bride’s dress a secret until the day of the wedding. They often do a “first-look” prior to the wedding and photographs. However, one bridechilla contacted Aleisha to ask what they should do if they don’t want to participate in a first look. In fact, they don’t want to keep the dress a secret at all. There is no right or wrong way to customize your wedding. Hear what Aleisha’s thoughts about skipping the dress secret and abandoning the first look.  

Plan to pause with your partner

Another way to feel better about yourself when planning your wedding is to plan for quiet moments for you and your partner during the wedding day. There is so much going on during the day, it is easy to reach the end and not remember anything. Though you want your guests to have a good time, the wedding is really about you and your partner. Aleisha encourages finding moments during the day to just pause together, reflect, and ensure that your day is truly memorable.

Photo by Jonathan Borba 

Find a place for the parents

You might think you are juggling a lot of people and relationships for your wedding. But do you have 7 parents to include in your wedding? That’s exactly how many Bridechilla Kristen has. Kristen wants to know how to include all of the parents and step parents in meaningful ways while still keeping the wedding special and according to her wishes. Hear Aleisha’s answer to that and many other questions during this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

Look at the day and don’t feel an obligation when it comes to having to appease all these people. That goes for everyone really

Listen to the episode

Show Highlights

  • [0:30] After looking at her inbox, Aleisha decided that another wedding planning Q&A episode was in order.

  • [2:16] Bridechilla Stephanie wants to know a special and creative way to ask a long-distance friend to be a part of her wedding.

  • [6:11] Kelly asks for ideas for how to have three maids-of-honors and how to make each one feel special. 

  • [10:10] Is it crazy to not want to keep your dress a secret for the first look? 

  • [12:32] Courtney calls to get Aleisha’s advice on how to plan for how many people on the guest list will actually attend.

  • [22:40] Get the hardback wedding planning guide written by Aleisha at Bridechillstore.com.

  • [24:02] Kristen is getting married in July and wants to know how to deal with having 7 parents in their wedding and how to assign roles. 

  • [29:41] Aleisha invites the Bridechilla community to continue submitting questions, as there are more Q&A episodes to come.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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391- Wedding Planning Q&A Jennifer Charles and Kimberly Allen

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

The wedding planning process is all about creating your wedding memories before the big day happens. Jennifer Charles and Kimberly Allen of Something Fabulous join the Bridechilla podcast to answer questions and help you think about planning your wedding with the end in mind. Since 2002, they have been helping couples and corporations design unique events that focus on the why, not just the how. During this episode, they answer questions from the Bridechilla community about destination weddings, how to maintain your vision during the wedding process, and how to deal with difficult family relationships. 

Listen to episode 391 of Bridechilla

How well-suited are you for a destination wedding?

Planning a wedding requires a lot of organization and attention to detail. A destination wedding requires a completely different approach to planning. Kate asks how to handle the grooms tux for her destination wedding. Should they purchase the suit prior to leaving and travel with it, or try to get a suit at the location of the wedding? These types of issues should be considered during the planning process to ensure a smooth experience. Hear Jennifer’s and Kimberly’s thoughts about this question and much more. 

What is the memory you are trying to make and how do you want to feel about your wedding when all is said and done?”

Creating one last wedding memory

For many couples, the most important part of the wedding is the people attending. One Bridechilla shares her concern with a family member who is extremely sick and might not live to see their wedding. She and her spouse-to-be are considering holding a special pre-wedding ceremony just so they can have a memorable experience with their family member before they pass. Jennifer and Kimberly share some ideas for how they can create a special wedding memory during this difficult time.

On your wedding day, you should not be worrying about your decor and what table number goes where

Maintain your wedding vision

Because there are so many decisions and so many options, the vision you have for your wedding can easily be compromised. In a month, or ten years when you look back at your wedding experience, you want to be sure that you created the wedding memories you wanted. Whether it be dealing with overly-involved family members or difficult memories, Jennifer and Kimberly have some great tips for how to maintain the vision for your wedding throughout the planning process. 

Photo by Bekir Temel

If you are acting out of love and respect, you can’t be wrong. It’s your day!

Planning with love and respect

Jennifer and Kimberly have a philosophy of wedding planning that works for everyone. Their professional background and extensive experience has helped refine their approach to creating wedding memories. As long as you start with the end in mind, treat everyone with love and respect, and let the logistics serve your vision, your wedding can be the unique and authentic event you dream it to be. Listen to stories from their experience and learn from their expertise on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

Show Highlights

  • [0:50] Introduction of this episode’s guests, Jennifer and Kimberly from Something Fabulous Events. 

  • [2:56] Jennifer and Kimberly share their backgrounds, how they started Something Fabulous and how their backgrounds help them do what they do. 

  • [ 7:07] Bridechilla Kate asks about how to handle purchasing suits for a destination wedding.

  • [12:54] Aleisha, Kimberly and Jennifer answer a question about family submitted by an anonymous bridechilla. 

  • [24:15] How do you maintain your vision throughout the wedding planning process?

  • [30:46] Your personal style never goes out of style.

  • [35:50] How can you do a room flip for a reception at your wedding venue?

  • [38:19] Using a coordinator or a professional to help during the day and how they can help take care of room flip logistics. 

  • [41:55] You can have your way while still maintaining an attitude of love and respect. 

  • [45:00] How to get in touch with Jennifer and Kimberly

 

Listen to episode 391 of Bridechilla

Meet This Episode’s Guests

Jennifer and Kimberly are sisters and the founders of Something Fabulous, which is an event and wedding planning management service. They started designing experiences together in 2002 and have now done thousands of events. Their goal is to help individuals create a truly unique and one-of-a-kind event that tells an authentic story. They have an award winning team who can help create a beautiful event from start to finish. 

Show image by Bekir Temel

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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