Author

Aleisha

Hey there, I'm Aleisha, founder and host of the Bridechilla Podcast. I am also the author of the Bridechilla Guides. I'm inspired by our community of Chillas worldwide and empowering you to 'go your own way', as Fleetwood Mac would say, in your wedding planning and beyond!

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389- Wedding Photography Q&A with Cavin Elizabeth Part 2

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

One of Bridchilla’s most popular topics (and guests), wedding photographer Cavin Elizabeth, joins the Bridechilla podcast to answer more wedding photography questions. Once word got out to the Bridechilla community that Cavin Elizabeth was joining the show, the questions flooded in. Cavin has tons of wedding photography experience and wisdom from which she shares advice. During this episode, she answers questions about how to trust your wedding photographer, the importance of contracts, whether or not to tip your vendors, and how to plan the wedding day timeline with your wedding photographer.  
(Listen and read the Part 1 blog here)

Listen to episode 389 of the Bridechilla Podcast

Let them (the photographer) be in charge. There’s a reason you hired them. If you don’t trust them to do their jobs then you probably should not have hired them

Hire who you trust, trust who you hire

Bridechilla Jackie asks Cavin how to give a photographer guidance about what kind of pictures they want while still trusting them to do their work well. Cavin encourages couples not to try to micromanage their wedding photographers, especially on the day of the wedding. While it is ok to give them some of your thoughts and ideas, it is best to trust that, if they are professionals, they know how to do their job. Cavin says if you trust them enough to hire them, trust them enough to do their job without micromanaging. 

Bridechilla 389- Wedding Photography Q&A with Cavin Elizabeth Part 2

Image by Cavin Elizabeth

There’s all kinds of tipping alternatives that show your gratitude if you don’t or can’t spend any more money on tips.

Tips for Tipping your Wedding Photographer

Tipping vendors is a recurring question that comes up in the Bridechilla community. Should you tip your wedding photographer? If so, how much should you tip? When and how do you give them the tip? Cavin gives advice from her experience of receiving tips for her wedding photography. She also gives some great tipping alternatives that can allow the couple to show gratitude without shelling out even more money. Hear her advice about tipping and much more on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

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Do not hire anybody for your wedding without a contract.

The facts about contracts

When hiring a vendor, you want to ensure that you are getting exactly what you pay for. Even if you are hiring a freelance photographer, it is essential that you have a contract. The contract should lay out the terms of service, any contingencies, and all of the specifics of what you are paying for from that vendor. If a vendor doesn’t offer a contract, you should ask them for one, or even draw one up yourself. Listen to Cavin’s advice about contracts with vendors on this podcast.  

Bridechilla 389- Wedding Photography Q&A with Cavin Elizabeth Part 2

Image by Cavin Elizabeth

Anything that is sensitive that could possibly come up when that photographer is dealing with the family, especially in family photos, they need to know.

Dysfunctional family photos

Nobody has the perfect family. Everybody has weird or difficult family dynamics of some sort. A wedding offers a unique opportunity for those dysfunctions to be on full display. How can you deal with difficult or dysfunctional family dynamics. Cavin encourages Bridechillas to give the photographer as much information as possible in advance of the wedding day so that they can help avoid any awkward or harmful situations. Hear all about that and much more on this wedding photography Q&A episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

Bridechilla 389- Wedding Photography Q&A with Cavin Elizabeth Part 2

Image by Cavin Elizabeth

Do not do other people favors for your wedding. If there is something you want for your wedding, do what you want for your wedding

Listen to episode 389 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

  • [1:46] Bridechilla Jackie asks how to work with a photographer, giving them guidance for what she and her partner want while trusting them to do their job well. 

  • [5:21] One key characteristic of being a bridechilla is treating people with kindness

  • [6:27] Chelsea asks about the rules of tipping your wedding photographer. 

  • [10:30] Cavin Elizabeth talks about the power of referrals

  • [11:57] What are some important issues that should be covered in a photographers contract. 

  • [22:41] Bridechilla asks for tips for dealing with dysfunctional family dynamics while trying to take wedding photos

  • [26:56] How to handle a difficult or potentially disruptive guest coming to your wedding

  • [28:00] When planning the wedding day timeline, how much do you involve the photographer? 

  • [32:16] How to handle frendors and family members who want to work for your wedding, when you don’t want them to?

  • [38:00] Cavin Elizabeth talks about her resources and how you can book her to photograph your wedding. 

Meet This Episode’s Guest

Cavin Elizabeth is an international wedding film and digital photographer based in San Diego. She operates a boutique studio with a focus on personal connection that makes couples more at ease while being photographed for their special day. This gives Cavin’s picture a natural, authentic and romantic look. She also wrote a book entitled A Bride’s Guide to a Picture Perfect Wedding that teaches brides how to get the most out of their wedding photography and have magazine worthy images. Catch up on Cavin's previous episode of Bridechilla, all about how to find the right wedding photographer for your wedding here. 

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Cavin Elizabeth

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388- Wedding Planning Q&A, with Rich

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, Aleisha’s husband Rich joins the show to answer wedding questions from the Bridechilla community. Being a part of the Bridechilla community gives you access not only to Aliesha’s knowledge and insight about planning a wedding, but also a great support system of men and women who are going through a similar journey as you. During this podcast, you’ll hear questions about appropriate tipping for a European wedding, how to deal with bad customer service from a wedding venue, and engagement gift ideas for the groom.

Listen to episode 388 of Bridechilla

A wedding day is about wearing things that make you feel comfortable and fabulous.

One year countdown

The engagement period is full of excitement. You are looking forward to a great celebration and a wonderful, meaningful marriage thereafter. There can also be a lot of stress. There are so many plans to be made, vendors to book, and guests to invite. Depending on the length of your engagement, you will have to be strategic in how you prioritize your time and finances. Ellie writes in asking for Aleisha’s advice about how to go about prioritizing her planning with one year left before the wedding day.

Photo by Alvin Mahmudov

Tips on tipping

In America, it is customary to tip generously. It is a way of showing gratitude for excellent service. However, if you are planning a destination wedding in another country, you should be sure to consider their customs. Acting like an American in other countries can often be seen as rude or pretentious. Aleisha discusses the tipping customs specifically in Italy and encourages listeners to be savvy when visiting other countries. Rather than risking the chance of offending your foreign hosts, take some time to research and understand their traditions and then follow suit. Here all about that and many more Wedding Q&As on this podcast.

The last 6 months of wedding planning really flies and that’s when things happen that you might not be ready for. Even when you are really organized you still have to be a bit ninja.Enter your text here...

Putting the service back into customer service

When planning your wedding, it is important to first know what you and your partner want. Once you are in agreement, and you have set a prioritized budget, then the goal is to make your dream a reality. So what do you do when poor customer service threatens to get in the way of your dream day? How do you handle a vendor who is inconsiderate or unhelpful when problems arise? Aleisha shares a pertinent story of how she handled a recent experience with poor customer service and gives tips for how couples can handle a similar situation when planning their wedding. 

Photo by George Coletrain 

I feel like art is something that everyone underestimates as gifts

Engagement gift ideas

When a couple gets engaged, typically the groom-to-be gives the bride-to-be a really nice, expensive ring as a symbol of their love and betrothal. Less common is for the bride-to-be to give her partner something in return. However, one Bridechilla wanted to do just that. What are some good gift ideas for your partner to celebrate your engagement. Hear Rich and Aleisha give some great ideas as they answer that and many other questions on this Wedding Q&A episode of the Bridechilla podcast.   

Listen to episode 388 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

  • [0:43] Aleisha and Rich start the show by speaking in Spainish and talking about why Rich is joining today’s podcast

  • [4:14] Ellie asks for tips from the Bridechilla community for the one year countdown for her wedding. 

  • [8:36] How do you handle tipping vendors in Europe so that you show gratitude without offending?

  • [19:32] Bridechilla Kim asks how to deal with family who wants the partner to wear a dress when she doesn’t want to. 

  • [24:41] What do you do when you discover that your wedding venue has some issues that you don’t want to deal with? 

  • [31:04] Aleisha shares a story of bad customer service she experienced with a vendor and how she handled it.

  • [34:20] What would be a good gift to give your male partner as a way to celebrate your engagement.

  • [39:15] Rich and Aliesha give some ideas for gifts to give your fiance

  • [42:56] How can you submit a question for Aleisha and/or her guests to answer on the podcast

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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387- Wedding Budget Busters

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Jess Bishop, founder of The Budget Savvy Bride joins the Bridechilla podcast to talk about wedding budget busters with the Bridechilla community. We talk a lot about how important setting and sticking to a budget is when planning a wedding. Jess has dedicated her work to helping couples plan beautiful weddings without busting their budget. On this episode, Aleisha and Jess talk about some money saving ideas and weigh in on tips and advice other Bridechillas offer. If you are planning a wedding and are looking for some creative ways to save money, then be sure to listen to this podcast. 

Listen to episode 387 of Bridechilla

Like money in the bank

When saving money for your wedding, you want to make sure it is in a place where it will only be used for wedding expenses. You could hide the money under your mattress and hope you don’t forget about it. Or you could consider opening up a designated bank account specifically for wedding funds. Opening a bank account is easier than ever and with some banks can be done simply online. Having this account allows for people to make donations to your wedding fund and helps you keep up with your wedding budget. 

Photo by Blake Wisz​

If you know yourself and you know you can be responsible with paying those cards off every month, I think it’s a really great thing to take advantage of.

The perks of using credit cards

If are particularly disciplined and financially responsible, one way to help stay budget conscious and reap some extra benefits is by using credit cards. While you must be diligent to maintain your predetermined budget and pay the card off each month, credit cards can help you earn points or rewards that you can use for your honeymoon or after wedding travel. Jess and Aliesha share their experience with credit cards and how they have benefited from the perks during this conversation. 

Photo by Becca McHaffie

Getting thrifty at thrift stores

Bridechilla Mandy suggests one way to save money and get really great items for your wedding is to go thrift shopping. There are certain times or seasons where you can find fantastic decorations, arrangements, and even dresses at a fraction of the price. Thrifting is also a more sustainable way to shop for your wedding and allows for the reuse of wedding items that otherwise would likely only be used once. Hear about thrift shopping and other great ways to avoid wedding budget busters on this episode.

I think it’s really great to have a dedicated bank account for your wedding funds.

Avoiding budget busters with better ideas

Aleisha and Jess discuss several ideas that other Bridechillas submitted on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. From booking a venue that only requires a minimum spend without a rental fee, using the free cricket machine at the library to DIY crafts, and having a family member purchase your cake, there are a ton of helpful and creative tips during this podcast. If you want to plan a beautiful wedding without blowing your budget, then be sure to listen to this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

Sometimes it really does take sitting down and comparing things really closely

Photo by Matheus Ferrero

Listen to episode 387 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

  • [0:14] Aleisha introduces this episodes guest who is a regular on the show, Jess Bishop, founder of The Budget Savvy Bride

  • [2:06] The pros and cons of setting up a designated bank account for your wedding funds

  • [4:15] Bridechilla Chelsea advises that couples use one particular credit card for wedding expenses and use the points for the honeymoon

  • [6:09] Jess and Aleisha discuss some of the perks of using particular credit cards

  • [9:33] Aleisha shares a story of her honeymoon and how a credit card perk got them an amazing hotel room

  • [11:49] Using a credit card responsibly can help your credit score and might provide purchase protection

  • [13:16] Bridechilla Mandy suggests hitting thrift stores after wedding season ends in your areas

  • [16:12] How do you get over the guilty feelings of asking your friends to spend money for a destination wedding?

  • [25:38] Jess talks about her book The Budget-Savvy Wedding Planner & Organizer.

  • [29:12] When serving guests at the wedding, start with the good wine, then switch to the cheaper kind

  • [32:42] You can save money by booking a venue that only charges a minimum spend with no rental fee

  • [35:03] Veronica talks about usings a cricket (paper cutter) at her local library to help save cost for certain wedding items

  • [39:03] Bridechilla Amanda gives a great piece of advice based on how she had a family member buy her wedding cake for her. 

Meet This Episode’s Guest

Jessica Bishop is the founder of The Budget Savvy Bride and author of the book The Budget-Savvy Wedding Planner & Organizer. Jessica is an expert at planning weddings on a budget and has helped couples all around the world plan the wedding they wanted at a cost they could afford. She has shared her tips with a multitude of publications and media outlets. She joins to Bridechilla show to share ways to plan a beautiful wedding without busting your budget.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by taylor hernandez

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386- Bridechilla Wedding Planning Q&A

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

The Bridechilla podcast is all about helping people plan their wedding without the stress. We are a community dedicated to helping each other plan the weddings we want without losing our shit. One of the ways we support each other is through question and answer podcast episodes. Bridechillas submit questions and Aleisha answers with the hopes of helping others gain insight and answers to their own similar questions. On this Wedding Planning Q&A episode, Aleisha answers questions about having a special hens party, how to deal with money from relatives or other donors, and when it’s ok to take off your engagement ring.

Listen to the episode

The wedding isn’t the only celebration

Not all weddings are large and elaborate events. Some couples choose to have a small, intimate party with only their close friends and relatives. How can you still celebrate with your larger circle of friends without taking on the extra expense and planning stress of a bigger wedding? Is it ok to invite them to a party celebrating your marriage without inviting them to the actual event? Find out Aleisha’s thoughts during this episode. 

Don’t rush things if you don’t feel ready to do things like get hitched. Don’t rush. You have plenty of time

How to accept money without giving up control

Accepting monetary donations for your wedding can help ease the financial strain. It can also increase the pressure to please the donor with your plans. Sometimes money is given with strings attached. Is there a way to accept money from a relative or donor without giving up the decision making control? How can you talk to the person offering money so that they understand their investment doesn’t give them unwanted input into the planning process? Hear what Aleisha has to say about that and much more on this Q&A episode.

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Maybe it’s about rebranding the event as a hen’s day but also in the invitation say “I really want to share this with you, you’re really important people in my life

Filter your feedback

It can be a lot of fun to have friends or family members join your for various aspects of the planning process. These can be special times of love and bonding. But what if your friend or relative has strong and differing opinions from yours? How can you still enjoy spending time with them while not letting their opposing feedback drag you down. As always, open communication is a great start. Find out more advice about dealing with that and other difficult wedding planning issues on the Bridechilla podcast. 

There are ways you can accept money and not have to give away all of the decision making process.

Maintain the bling, care for the ring

Getting engaged is so exciting. You begin to dream and plan not only for the wedding, but also for the life and marriage you are about to begin with the one you love. And you get a beautiful new ring to wear on your finger that symbolizes that love. How do you care for this priceless piece of jewelry? When is it ok to take the ring off? Hear the answer to that and many other questions on this week’s wedding planning Q&A episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

Photo by Genessa Panainte

There are not many people in my life I would take shopping and really want their genuine feedback

Show Highlights

  • [0:26] Aleisha talks about her new voiceover booth in the cupboard

  • [2:52] Introduction of this planning a wedding Q&A episode. 

  • [3:17] The first question is an anonymous email about inviting friends to a hen’s party that aren’t invited to the wedding?

  • [7:27] Kay asks what to do about her boyfriend that talks about his wedding plans and thoughts at length before they are even engaged

  • [12:02] Bridechilla Megean asks what to do about her fiance who doesn’t want to accept money from relatives or other donors

  • [16:42] Aleisha shares a story about accepting money from her dad and how it affected her

  • [27:09] How to proceed with buying a wedding dress when the mother of the bride doesn’t like the same looks that the bride wants

  • [35:03] Do you wear your engagement ring all the time or just for special occasions? 

Listen to the episode

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show photo by Matt Reiter 

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385- Wedding Photography Q&A with Cavin Elizabeth

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Weeks, months or even years down the road, you will likely want to look back and remember the great memories made during your wedding. You’ll want to relive that special day and see the people and places that made your wedding so great. Which is why it is so important to have great pictures taken at your wedding. On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, Cavin Elizabeth, international wedding photographer and author of the book A Bride’s Guide to a Picture Perfect Wedding, joins the show for wedding photography Q&A. During this conversation, Cavin gives advice about how to plan for hair and makeup, the best time of day to have your wedding, and how to have the best possible experience with your wedding photographer.

Listen to episode 385 of Bridechilla

The first look and the best look

There are several options for when to take pictures at your wedding. The more traditional approach is to take pictures after the wedding so the couple doesn’t see each other beforehand. Increasingly more common is what is called the first look, where the couple has a private time before the ceremony to see each other and have some pictures taken. Whichever way you decide to do it, it is important that you have a plan in place for getting pictures taken in a way that doesn’t interfere with your ability to interact with your guests and enjoy the event. Cavin and Aleisha discuss some best practices for planning your photography during this wedding photography Q&A episode.

Always trust your photographer. If they are giving you advice on something in their experience, they are trying to keep your best interest at heart, even if it might not be what you want to hear

Dos and don'ts for working with a wedding photographer

Taking pictures can often be uncomfortable for people. Especially at a wedding, taking a lot of pictures may not always feel natural. How can you have the best possible experience with your photographer so that everyone feels comfortable and your pictures turn out beautiful. Cavin shares some advice for how to cultivate a great relationship with your photographer even before the wedding day. She also talks about some dos and don’ts that can help your wedding pictures turn out amazing. 

How to get picture perfect hair and makeup

For brides, one of the biggest parts of the lead up to the wedding ceremony is hair and makeup. Hours before the event you have to have your hair professionally styled and your makeup applied by an expert. When it comes to pictures, what is the best practice for looking your best? Cavin explains that while the camera can do beautiful things, it can also do funny things, like diminish the look or amount of makeup you are wearing. She talks about the best approach to hair and makeup and how to find the right vendor that fits your style. 

The bride and groom did not see each other before the ceremony because it was always an arranged marriage and they didn’t want to groom fleeing the scene at the sight of the bride.

Great lighting for great wedding pictures

Great photos depend on great lighting. How can you achieve great lighting when you are in a dimly lit venue or when you are outside? A good photographer will handle the lighting scenarios and will position the people in the picture appropriately to capture the best images. Cavin talks about the importance of picking the right time of day for an outdoor wedding, and even reveals the absolute best time to plan your wedding so you will have gorgeous photos. Hear all about that and much more on this wedding photography Q&A episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

Show Highlights

  • [0:29] Aleisha introduces this week’s guest, Cavin Elizabeth, international wedding film and photographer and author of A Bride’s Guide to a Picture Perfect Wedding

  • [3:25] Cavin and Aleisha talk about Cavin’s unique wedding dress

  • [6:28] Bridechilla Justine and her partner aren’t doing a “first-look”. How can they get all their photos done during cocktail hour without running into the reception.

  • [10:25] Cavin gives suggestions for how to speed up the post-wedding photography by getting other shots separately or at other times  

  • [13:26] Why are groomchillas typically against the first look? 

  • [15:37] Nicole wants to know some dos and don’ts about how to get the best possible wedding day photos

  • [26:06] Cavin talks about the importance of hair and makeup to have the best possible photos

  • [29:25] Aleisha shares her makeup experience working in the television industry

  • [32:22] There are different types of makeup artists - find one that fits your style 

  • [36:21] Think about your timeline and when do have hair and makeup done when considering prep time for pictures

  • [37:11] Cavin discuss the importance of lighting and how the photographer will handle that 

  • [42:32} How you can book Cavin to take your photographs

The harsh reality of stuff in weddings often is that everything is a give-and-take.

Listen to the episode

Meet This Episode’s Guest

Cavin Elizabeth is an international wedding film and digital photographer based in San Diego. She operates a boutique studio with a focus on personal connection that makes couples more at ease while being photographed for their special day. This gives Cavin’s picture a natural, authentic and romantic look. She also wrote a book entitled A Bride’s Guide to a Picture Perfect Wedding that teaches brides how to get the most out of their wedding photography and have magazine worthy images.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Subscribe to Bridechilla Podcast

All images by Cavin Elizabeth Photography 

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384- The Wedding Planning Time Machine

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

If you could travel back in time, what would you do differently? What decisions would you change? This purely philosophical question has been asked countless times. While it isn’t possible to return to your earlier self, it could be helpful to think through what you would do differently so that you can pass along that wisdom to others. On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, we are hopping into a proverbial wedding planning time machine to talk about what we would do differently. If you are in the early stages of planning your wedding, be sure to listen so that you can learn from those who’ve gone before you,  avoiding mistakes and making great choices.

Listen to episode 384 of Bridechilla

One word of wedding planning advice

During this episode, Aleisha shares a lot of feedback that she received from the Bridechilla community when she asked “what advice would you give your newly engaged self knowing what you now know.” There were many responses both positive and negative. One popular response was summed up in just one word: elope. While you may not want to take such a drastic step, there are a lot of great destination and other eloping options that you might consider if you don’t want to plan a more traditional wedding. However, if you are still planning your wedding, then be sure to heed the advice on this show.

Decide why you are getting married and then decide how you want to celebrate those reasons

Sit back and enjoy the ride

Almost as soon as the engagement ring is slipped on the bride-to-be’s finger, everybody wants to know the wedding plans. What’s the date? Where’s the venue going to be? Will I be in the wedding? There are so many questions and so much pressure to answer them. One great piece of advice on this episode is to just slow down. You don’t have to know every single detail within the first month. Trying to do everything so fast just increases the stress and decreases the enjoyment. Instead, relax and just enjoy being engaged and take some time before you jump headlong into the craziness of wedding planning. 

Photo by Alora Griffiths 

It is important to get on the same page with money and also do a little presaving.

Wedding planning money tips

Weddings can cost a lot of money. How do you budget for the wedding you want? And then how do you save enough money to cover all of that expense? If marriage is in your future, or if you are in the midst of wedding planning now, setting aside money for the wedding is crucial. Several Bridechillas mentioned they wish they would’ve saved more. One even encouraged opening a special savings account just for the wedding. Don’t strap yourself with a load of debt fresh into your marriage. Save up the money you need for the wedding you want. 

Photo by chuttersnap

Don’t let drama drag you down i.e. the one bridesmaid who complains about everything and doesn’t give in to people who pressure you for an invite and doesn’t feel bad that you can’t invite everyone.

How to have a regret-free wedding

Being engaged seems to empower those around you to have strong opinions about your wedding. While most are well-intended, it can get overwhelming trying to listen and be polite. Or worse, you could feel obligated to implement their ideas in your wedding. Listen to the voice of Bridechillas who have gone before you, warning you to avoid the trap of allowing others to delude your vision. You deserve the wedding you want, not the wedding others want for you. Have the courage to stand up for yourself so that you won’t have any regrets on your wedding day.

I think we have to release some of the burden that we feel when it comes to keeping parents happy and the obligation that’s attached.

Photo by Miguel Ángel Hernández 

Show Highlights

  • [0:34] Aleisha introduces the podcast, which poses the question: “if you could go back in time, what advice would you give your newly engaged self knowing what you now know.” The wedding planning time machine.

  • [4:56] Some of the Bridechilla responses were only one word – “elope”. 

  • [6:39] Bridechilla Kelsie suggests enjoying being engaged before you jump into the drama and stress of wedding planning.

  • [10:11] Decide why you are getting married and then decide how you want to celebrate that in the most meaningful way to you. 

  • [11:03] How to choose your bridesmaids wisely without giving into the feeling of obligation

  • [12:46] Bridechilla Renee advises to save money before choosing and booking the wedding venue

  • [13:44] Should you open a separate account designated for saving for the wedding

  • [19:29] Rather than have a large event, have a small wedding and then a cookout or barbeque with friends

  • [20:21] Bridechilla Kathleen regrets not hiring a day-of wedding planner

  • [21:57] You don’t have to make the big decisions in the first month. Relax and take your time.

  • [23:08] Erika would have strongly considered elopement to avoid the conflict in planning with her parents. 

  • [26:26] Bridechilla Ashley wants to just ignore others opinions and just be herself. 

  • [27:08] Let people help you more when they offer and stay more firm on the ideas you want for you wedding. 

  • [30:32] Spend money sooner so you don’t have to spend everything close to the day of the wedding.  

  • [33:09] Slow down and just enjoy yourself

Listen to episode 384 of Bridechilla

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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Show image by  Almos Bechtold 

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383-Planning a Wedding Like an Entrepreneur with Danielle Tate

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, guest Danielle Tate, founder of MissNowMrs.com and author of “Elegant Entrepreneur” joins the show to talk about planning a wedding like an entrepreneur. The are so many practices and principles of starting and running a business that can be applied to the wedding planning process. In order to run a successful company, you have to manage people, stay within a budget, and consider the logistics of daily operations and special events. These same factors apply to a wedding. During this conversation, Danielle discusses the lessons she learned while starting and growing her business and how they can be applied to planning a wedding and beginning a successful marriage. 

Listen to episode 383 of Bridechilla

Your team is incredibly important if you want a good end product in a business, and the same goes for weddings as well.

How to assemble your wedding planning team 

A good business owner and manager knows how to delegate. There are too many demands for one person to handle. Assembling the right team of people and then giving them clearly defined roles leads to synergy and success. The same is true when planning a wedding. There are too many details to be handled by one person. Whether it be a tried and true vendor or a trustworthy friend or family member, finding the right team members to help you plan and execute the tasks for the wedding is critical. Danielle discusses how to give ownership of the wedding plans and projects to the people around. The key is not to be afraid to ask. People are often more ready and willing to help than you might think. 

Photo by Adrien King 

Finding opportunity in the midst of obstacles

With an event as large and elaborate as weddings can often be, there are bound to be things that will go wrong. A vendor might mess up an order or the venue might double book. In life, business, and in wedding planning, problems happen. While you can’t control what might or might not go wrong, you can control how you deal with those problems. Danielle suggests that you begin looking at obstacles as opportunities. While not always easy, staying positive and proactive in the midst of an unexpected issue can turn what was a problem into an opportunity for an unforgettable moment. 

Don’t fall in love with your wedding concept before holding that idea accountable.

Planning a sustainable marriage

So much focus and attention goes into planning a wedding day. However, how much preparation are you doing with your partner for what comes after the wedding. The wedding lasts for a day, but a marriage lasts much longer. Working together to plan the wedding can help you and your spouse-to-be develop teamwork and partnership that you can carry into the marriage. Invest in time and habits that will help your marriage be sustainable. Danielle talks about ways to think about the sustainability before the marriage starts during this podcast. 

Nurture the relationship and plan the relationship almost as much as you plan the wedding

It’s Your Wedding

There are countless business books that claim to have the secrets for how entrepreneurs can be successful. However, every business owner and company are different. There isn’t one right way. The same is true in wedding planning. As you plan your wedding, you’ll be talking with a lot of different people. Vendors, friends, family members, and even co-workers will give their input and advice about your wedding. While it’s fine to listen and take advice from others, it is more important to stay true to what you want. Danielle says, “Plan the wedding you want, not the wedding everyone else wants for you.“ Hear more of her advice as well as stories of her experience working to help brides with changing their name on this episode of the bridechilla podcast. 

In weddings, something always goes wrong and how you choose to handle it is going to dictate how your day goes.

Photo by JESHOOTS.COM 

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Show Highlights

  • [0:31] Danielle Tate, founder of MissNowMrs.com, joins the show to talk about how she turned her frustration with changing her name into a business

  • [6:15] As an accidental entrepreneur, Danielle learned a lot that she has included in her book Elegant Entrepreneur.  

  • [8:34] How to realistically plan your wedding, avoiding the trap of falling in love with an idea you can’t afford

  • [10:10] When planning a wedding, you need to build a team of people that can help you. How do you recruit the right team?  

  • [19:04] Danielle discusses how failures can be an opportunity in disguise. 

  • [21:34] Using the wedding and the days afterward to set your marriage up to sustain for a long time. 

  • [25:50] Aleisha and Danielle discuss how to plan the wedding you want, not the wedding everyone else wants for you.

  • [30:17] Danielle shares some of the funny stories that she’s come across while running MissNowMrs.

Meet This Episode’s Guest

Danielle Tate is the founder of MissNowMrs and Author of the book “Elegant Entrepreneur.” After experiencing firsthand the laborious and difficult process of changing her name after getting married, Danielle decided that there had to be a better way. She created a website that makes the name changing process a breeze. She wrote “Elegant Entrepreneur” to help women start and scale their businesses. On this episode she lends her combines her knowledge of wedding planning and entrepreneurship to give some great advice on planning the wedding you’ve always wanted.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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Show image by Christin Hume 

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382- Wedding Rentals and Outdoor Planning with Heather Rouffe

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, guest Heather Rouffe, a professional wedding and event planner from Atlas Event Rentals, talks about wedding rentals and outdoor planning. If you are in the midst of planning your wedding, it is likely that this is your first time organizing such an elaborate and potentially expensive event. There are a lot of logistics to think through. If you are planning on doing an outdoor wedding, the amount of logistics can significantly increase. During this conversation, Heather explains how to think through the details of your wedding and how renting can help you accomplish your wedding dreams.  

Listen to episode 382 of Bridechilla Podcast

Indoor v. Outdoor Wedding

When the weather is great and the scenery is beautiful, there is little more charming and lovely than an outdoor wedding. However, choosing the outdoors presents additional challenges and variables that will require a little more planning. Outdoor venues give a blank canvas to create the type of environment you want, but you also have to provide everything needed to accommodate your guests. And what do you do if the weather is uncooperative? Heather gives advice for how to think through all of the elements of planning an outdoor wedding during this episode. 

Having the right team of vendors is so, so important to any outdoor venue and leads to a successful wedding

Photo by Annie Gray 

When to rent and when to buy

Once you’ve determined the venue for your wedding, you then have to start considering the event itself. From tables and chairs, to trashcans and waiter trays, there are so many items needed to create a smooth and memorable wedding. With all of the necessary items, what should be purchased and what items can be rented? Heather suggests working with your wedding planner or local rental company to discuss your venue and event from beginning to end. Considering the guest experience will help discover and secure every item you’ll need for your special day. 

Who would have ever thought that you need a waiter tray to bus all the dirty dishes and to remove your salad course?

Traditions vs Trends

During this conversation, Aleisha asks Heather her opinion on wedding trends in general. Are they a good thing that can create a new and unique experience or are they a risk that could later be regretted? Heather talks about the pros and cons of trends and how they might be incorporated in a wedding. Ultimately, blending trends with meaningful traditions can help create a special event that won’t be cringe worthy years later. 

Making sure your wedding guests know the environment they are going to be in is super important.

Photo by Mel Durham

After the damage is done 

A common concern about renting items for a wedding is damage. What happens if the party gets a bit too lively or a waiter trips and glassware gets broken? Is the couple responsible for damages? How can you avoid having a substantial bill after the party is over. Heather recommends talking with your rental company about insurance and damage waivers. If there is a damage waiver available, it could save money on broken items. It will also give you the peace of mind to enjoy the party, even if you hear the sound of glass breaking. Hear all about that and more wedding rentals and outdoor planning tips on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

Backyard weddings sometimes cost more than going to a venue. You have to provide everything.

Listen to episode 382 of Bridechilla Podcast

Show Highlights

  • [0:24] Aleisha introduces the episode and the guest of the show, Heather Rouffe, a wedding and event planning expert.

  • [2:54] How Heather got involved in the wedding industry. 

  • [4:13] What items should you buy for your wedding and what should be rented. 

  • [7:07] If you are having a backyard wedding, what logistics should you be thinking through before you book your venue? 

  • [10:24] How a backyard wedding might be more difficult and expensive than a wedding being held in a traditional venue. 

  • [11:57] Heather and Aleisha discuss preparing for bad weather and preparing your guests for an outdoor wedding.

  • [20:35] What items should you rent for your wedding and where do you begin? 

  • [23:10] Heather lists several of the less glamorous items that have to be considered when planning a wedding and rentals. 

  • [25:46] Trends come and go. What does Heather, a professional wedding and event planner, think about wedding trends in general?

  • [30:09] What happens if a rented item breaks? Is there insurance or damage protection?

Meet this episode's guest

With over 15 years of experience in the wedding and event planning industry, Heather Rouffee is an expert of the logistics of planning a wedding. Heather has worked at Atlas Event Rentals in Byonton, FL since 2004, where she helps her clients accomplish the vision for their events and weddings. On this episode she shares tips from her wealth of knowledge and experience about wedding rentals and outdoor planning. 

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Don't forget to use the promo code BRIDECHILLA

Don't forget to use the promo code BRIDECHILLA

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381- Wedding Planning Q&A with Aleisha

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

When you are in the middle of wedding planning, it’s easy to think you are the only one who struggles or has issues. The wedding industry likes to portray weddings as magical, perfect events. Here on the bridechilla podcast, we know that isn’t always the case. That’s why we have wedding planning question and answer episodes; so that you can hear from other Bridechillas who are struggling along the wedding planning journey and get some great advice on how to deal with specific problems. On this episode, you’ll hear questions about involving your parents and step parents in the wedding planning process, how to handle friends who are also wedding vendors, and how to be involved in the planning of your own bachelorette or hen party. 

Listen to episode 380 Of The Bridechilla Podcast

Requesting wedding gifts, the right way

One perk of getting married is that people will give you gifts. Registries can help guide attendees in buying you the things you want and need. What do you do if there are differing gift traditions with you and your partner? How can you communicate both wishes to your wedding guests without seeming pretentious or ungrateful? There is a way to clearly and tactfully explain the best approach to gifts at your wedding. Aleisha explains how and stresses that the key is expressing gratitude. Hear about that and much more on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

A lot of the time people feel disconnected from the process or they feel left out or lonely about it all because they don’t know what’s going on.

3 Ways to Involve a long-distance parent in your wedding

When planning a wedding, a bride might find herself a long distance away from home. How do you get your parents involved in the planning process when they are in different states, countries, or time zones? Sometimes, all it takes is just keeping them updated with progress. Aleisha gives three specific ways to make a parent or close relative feel a part of the process even when they aren’t nearby. A little planning and some extra attention can help close the gap and ease the tension with parents who want to be involved but can’t because of distance.  

Photo by Analise Benevides 

How to involve your stepparent in the wedding

Bridechilla Kristen asks how she should involve her step dad in the wedding. Her parents will be walking her down the aisle, but she still wants to include her step dad. With a limited number of roles in most weddings, how do you include everyone who is important to you in the wedding? Aleisha recommends some unique ways to involve step parents or other relatives in the ceremony that will allow you to honor them and will allow them to be a meaningful part of your wedding. 

Older people sometimes say ‘That is what we do and we are not going to change it just because they wrote it on a website.

Friends with wedding benefits...frendors

Some brides love the idea of having a bridesmaid or friend fix their hair, shoot their pictures, or cater their wedding. It can be a huge cost savings and can ensure that you have a trusting relationship with that person. However, hiring or using a friends gift or talent for your wedding might not always be desirable. It could cause unnecessary tension in the relationship. And you may want that friend to come and enjoy the wedding rather than work at it. How can you communicate your feelings and wishes to a friend who might be expecting to be asked to work your wedding? Aleisha gives tips for thoughtfully sharing with your friend so as to maintain the relationship and hire the vendor you want. 

I believe you should always offer to pay people and allow them to say ‘no, no I’d love to gift you your wedding hair.

Photo by Fa Barboza

That is the worst thing you can do to anyone that is angry or feeling stressed or overwhelmed is to go ‘just calm down.’ That’s my trigger point of going ‘I’m going to punch you in the throat'. Don’t tell me to calm down.

Listen to episode 380 of the Bridechilla Podcast

Show Highlights

  • [0:26] Introduction of this week’s show and how Aleisha has been able to produce so many podcast episodes. 

  • [1:15] Aleisha explains what wedstress is and how the bridechilla podcast is here to help alleviate your wedstress.

  • [3:59] Bridechilla Rosie asks What is the clear, tactful way of telling wedding guests that there are two ways to give wedding gifts when there are two different customs involved. 

  • [7:08] Kennedy is concerned that her mom is feeling left out of the wedding planning since she and her fiance live away from home. How can she make her feel more involved?

  • [11:23] Kennedy also asks how to handle a bridesmaid who has tattoos that her partner and future Mother-in-law are afraid will be a bad look for the wedding and pictures. 

  • [14:36] Kristen from Canada wants to know how to involve her stepdad in her wedding. 

  • [22:29] How to address friends who are expecting to be hired to help with your wedding when you’d rather just have them attend or being a part of the wedding party. 

  • [27:27] Destination bachelorette parties.

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With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Olivia Bauso 

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380- Getting serious about your financial future

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Have you started planning for the future? Chances are if you are planning a wedding then your answer is “yes”. You are planning for a future event that will be a wonderful celebration of your love. However, what about after you are married? Have you thought about planning what will happen to your assets should you pass away? What will happen afterwards? Will our loved ones be left with a puzzle of paperwork to try and piece together? Or will they be sufficiently taken care of. Dave Hanley, Founder and CEO of Tomorrow, an app developed specifically to help people with their plans, joins the Bridechilla podcast to discuss planning for the future. 

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How to talk about death 

It’s not always pleasant to think about death. However, the reality is we will all die one day. It is better to think about and plan for the future beyond our lives now than it is to leave our children, spouses, or loved ones with the difficult task of sorting through our lives. Planning for the future is really an act of love and kindness. Especially if you are planning a wedding, considering how your spouse would be taken care of in a tragic event or your untimely death can make a huge difference for them. In this episode, you’ll be encouraged not to let a mortality crisis keep you from making a plan that will help those you leave behind even as they grieve your loss. 

There are a lot of reasons as you delay marriage, as there are family businesses involved, as you have private stock in companies and stock options, debt, assets, that actually having a prenup makes a lot of sense

Working together to plan for the future

How can you work with your partner as you make a plan for the future? Perhaps it is painful to talk about dying with your spouse. Or maybe they are uninterested or uncooperative in being a part of the planning process. What can you do to get on the same page and work together as a team? During this episode, Dave Hanley shares some tips for how you can approach the often sensitive conversation of death and do so in a way that will be unifying rather than divisive. He also talks about how the app he developed, called Tomorrow, works to help in the process. 

 Photo by Shelby Deeter

Secrets secrets are no fun

Everyone brings their own histories into a marriage. Perhaps they have emotional or relational baggage. Or maybe they have had financial issues in the past. Often couples find themselves early in marriage with loads of school loans or other debt that can put a strain on the relationship. How can you deal with those issues both in the present and as you look to create a solid future for each other and for the loved ones around you? Dave stresses the importance of being upfront and honest with each other. Start with your own imperfections and work on those first. Then you can work together on issues that involve each other. Most importantly, don’t delay honesty in a marriage.

Never delay honesty. Because it can really build up and cause you a lot more trouble down the track

Failing to plan is planning to fail

When you have people in your life that care about you, it is a disservice not to make a plan to care for them even after you die. Additionally, you want to make sure that the assets you’ve worked hard to accrue will go to the people you choose. The only way to have a voice after you are gone is to make a detailed plan. During this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, Dave Harley gives encouragement for ways to plan for the future and talks about how the app his team developed called tomorrow can help. 

Photo by Sebastian Mantel

Show Highlights

  • [0:31] Aleisha introduces this episode about sensible future and estate planning with guest Dave Hanley, founder and CEO of Tomorrow. 
  • [4:06] Aleisha shares a story about a friend who was unexpectedly thrust into the position of being the executor of a will and all of the difficulties that comes with that. 
  • [8:11] How Tomorrow can help you be organized and generate important discussions with your family about the future of your estate. 
  • [9:50] Dave talks about how he helps people navigate the planning process in a unified way.
  • [11:39] How couples should approach the conversation about debt 
  • [20:54] Prenuptial agreements are increasing among couples. Dave shares his thoughts about reasons to have a prenup and how the can be helpful.
  • [25:58] Prenups often carry a negative connotation but they can actually help protect assets and clarify responsibility in the event of something unfortunate. 
  • [28:03] Aleisha shares how you can find more information about Tomorrow and Dave’s work. 

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Meet This Episode’s Guest

Dave Hanley is the Founder and CEO of Tomorrow, an app that allows people to create a will and make decisions about the future together. Dave’s journey to starting tomorrow began when he had to handle the details of his parents death. He discovered that even an organized plan for the future can have difficulties and missed details. The Tomorrow team is dedicated to helping every family in America transform their lives and futures.

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With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Joel Overbeck

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