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Bridechilla Wedding Planning

Helping You Ditch Wedding Stress And Plan The Wedding You Want

Category:

30 Days Of Wedding Planning

30 Days Of Wedding PlanningBridechilla Podcast

398- Wedding Planning Q&A

by Aleisha November 11, 2019
written by Aleisha

One characteristic of the Bridechilla community is their desire and commitment to avoid wedding drama. There is ample opportunity for stress and drama to arise when planning a wedding. On this Q&A episode of the Bridechilla podcast, Aleisha answers questions about areas of potential drama and how to steer clear of them before and during the wedding. Hear voicemails concerning picking a venue, dealing with frendors, and how to handle disapproving family members. 

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There has to be something that, you close your eyes and picture the day. Where is that place. There has to be something that differentiates them

How to pick the right venue for your wedding

One of the hardest parts of wedding planning is deciding on a venue. Do you have a destination wedding, pick a trendy, instagramable location, or go with a more sentimental venue? Bridechilla Lauren is torn between two venues, one that she loves but has no attachment to, and another in the town where she and her fiancé met. However, she already has a venue booked. Why is she still considering another venue? Aleisha helps Lauren think through some of the pros and cons between venues and gives advice for choosing the right place.

I’m just a big believer, when you are hiring wedding vendors, whether you know them personally or not, you need to be able to rely on them

Should you hire a friendor?

Hiring a freindor, or a friend who is also a vendor, can be both a blessing and a curse. It could be mutually beneficial. You may get a discounted service and your friend gets some experience and exposure, which is especially important if they are just starting out. There is a danger that you might not get the quality of service you want or your friendship could be strained or damaged in the process. Should you use friendors? If so, what is the best way to go about it? Hear Aliesha’s answer to that and other questions from the Bridechilla community on this Q&A episode of the podcast. 

Just treat this relationship as a friendly but also a business relationship. You are absolutely a-ok to do that.

Photo by Annie Spratt 

I think weddings are a really good time to start asserting yourself in a way that you deserve to assert yourself.

Avoiding family wedding drama

Family can be one of the biggest sources of wedding drama. Bridechilla Ann is struggling with the demands of family while planning her wedding. She feels the obligation to follow their advice about the ceremony and to invite people she doesn’t really want to attend. While the goal is to have your wedding be only what you want without any obligation to anyone else, sometimes that is just not possible. Aleisha discusses how to still have the wedding you want while balancing the responsibility you have to your family. 

Photo by Haley Phelps

Keys to conflict resolution in wedding planning

Avoiding wedding drama often means that you have to address problems and issues head on. Almost everyone wants to avoid conflict. However, in life, relationships, and wedding planning, conflict is inevitable. Aleisha encourages Bridechillas to use the wedding as an opportunity to be assertive and learn how to effectively handle conflict. One helpful solution is to not consider it a fight, but rather a resolution. Listen to helpful advice about that and other wedding planning issues on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

Sometime it’s good if you can turn the question onto the other person and ask them ‘What would you do if you were in my position?

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Show Highlights

  • [0:58] Aleisha talks about the booth she records in and the uncomfortable stool that she sits on to record the podcast

  • [1:46] Today’s episode is a Q&A episode, addressing questions from the Bridechilla community

  • [2:42] Bridechilla Lauren asks for help in deciding between two venues, and how to choose the one that aligns with their priorities

  • [6:02] When you have a venue already booked, why would you continue to look for another venue?

  • [7:50] Hailey asks how to handle her friend/make up artist who has been disrespectful to her during the planning process

  • [10:45] Aliesha addresses whether or not taking back a plus one invite for a friend is contentious

  • [11:38] No one likes confrontation, but there is a way to be assertive without being confrontational

  • [15:00] Bridechilla Anna asks about potential missing pages in the field guide for planning food

  • [21:15] Ann is struggling with obligation to her family and difficulty finding a church while planning her wedding

  • [26:22] What do you do when your important family members don’t approve of your life choices? Do you still invite them to the wedding and risk having drama?

  • [31:54] How you can use family members or your wedding planner to help alleviate family drama during the wedding

  • [32:47] Do you invite a friendor to the wedding even though you wouldn’t invite them if they weren’t a vendor

  • [36:05] Aleisha offers thanks to everyone who has been sharing the podcast with their friends and purchasing the Bridechilla field guide

  • [37:36] Bridechilla Amanda is planning her own bachelorette party and wants to know how to best accommodate her bridesmaids for the party since they aren’t all local

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Photo by Adrianna Van Groningen

November 11, 2019
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30 Days Of Wedding PlanningBridechilla Podcast

384- The Wedding Planning Time Machine

by Aleisha August 5, 2019
written by Aleisha

If you could travel back in time, what would you do differently? What decisions would you change? This purely philosophical question has been asked countless times. While it isn’t possible to return to your earlier self, it could be helpful to think through what you would do differently so that you can pass along that wisdom to others. On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, we are hopping into a proverbial wedding planning time machine to talk about what we would do differently. If you are in the early stages of planning your wedding, be sure to listen so that you can learn from those who’ve gone before you,  avoiding mistakes and making great choices.

Listen to episode 384 of Bridechilla

One word of wedding planning advice

During this episode, Aleisha shares a lot of feedback that she received from the Bridechilla community when she asked “what advice would you give your newly engaged self knowing what you now know.” There were many responses both positive and negative. One popular response was summed up in just one word: elope. While you may not want to take such a drastic step, there are a lot of great destination and other eloping options that you might consider if you don’t want to plan a more traditional wedding. However, if you are still planning your wedding, then be sure to heed the advice on this show.

Decide why you are getting married and then decide how you want to celebrate those reasons

Sit back and enjoy the ride

Almost as soon as the engagement ring is slipped on the bride-to-be’s finger, everybody wants to know the wedding plans. What’s the date? Where’s the venue going to be? Will I be in the wedding? There are so many questions and so much pressure to answer them. One great piece of advice on this episode is to just slow down. You don’t have to know every single detail within the first month. Trying to do everything so fast just increases the stress and decreases the enjoyment. Instead, relax and just enjoy being engaged and take some time before you jump headlong into the craziness of wedding planning. 

Photo by Alora Griffiths 

It is important to get on the same page with money and also do a little presaving.

Wedding planning money tips

Weddings can cost a lot of money. How do you budget for the wedding you want? And then how do you save enough money to cover all of that expense? If marriage is in your future, or if you are in the midst of wedding planning now, setting aside money for the wedding is crucial. Several Bridechillas mentioned they wish they would’ve saved more. One even encouraged opening a special savings account just for the wedding. Don’t strap yourself with a load of debt fresh into your marriage. Save up the money you need for the wedding you want. 

Photo by chuttersnap

Don’t let drama drag you down i.e. the one bridesmaid who complains about everything and doesn’t give in to people who pressure you for an invite and doesn’t feel bad that you can’t invite everyone.

How to have a regret-free wedding

Being engaged seems to empower those around you to have strong opinions about your wedding. While most are well-intended, it can get overwhelming trying to listen and be polite. Or worse, you could feel obligated to implement their ideas in your wedding. Listen to the voice of Bridechillas who have gone before you, warning you to avoid the trap of allowing others to delude your vision. You deserve the wedding you want, not the wedding others want for you. Have the courage to stand up for yourself so that you won’t have any regrets on your wedding day.

I think we have to release some of the burden that we feel when it comes to keeping parents happy and the obligation that’s attached.

Photo by Miguel Ángel Hernández 

Show Highlights

  • [0:34] Aleisha introduces the podcast, which poses the question: “if you could go back in time, what advice would you give your newly engaged self knowing what you now know.” The wedding planning time machine.

  • [4:56] Some of the Bridechilla responses were only one word – “elope”. 

  • [6:39] Bridechilla Kelsie suggests enjoying being engaged before you jump into the drama and stress of wedding planning.

  • [10:11] Decide why you are getting married and then decide how you want to celebrate that in the most meaningful way to you. 

  • [11:03] How to choose your bridesmaids wisely without giving into the feeling of obligation

  • [12:46] Bridechilla Renee advises to save money before choosing and booking the wedding venue

  • [13:44] Should you open a separate account designated for saving for the wedding

  • [19:29] Rather than have a large event, have a small wedding and then a cookout or barbeque with friends

  • [20:21] Bridechilla Kathleen regrets not hiring a day-of wedding planner

  • [21:57] You don’t have to make the big decisions in the first month. Relax and take your time.

  • [23:08] Erika would have strongly considered elopement to avoid the conflict in planning with her parents. 

  • [26:26] Bridechilla Ashley wants to just ignore others opinions and just be herself. 

  • [27:08] Let people help you more when they offer and stay more firm on the ideas you want for you wedding. 

  • [30:32] Spend money sooner so you don’t have to spend everything close to the day of the wedding.  

  • [33:09] Slow down and just enjoy yourself

Listen to episode 384 of Bridechilla

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Subscribe to Bridechilla Podcast

Show image by  Almos Bechtold 

August 5, 2019
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Hi, I’m Aleisha

Hi, I’m Aleisha

Founder of Bridechilla

I created The Bridechilla Podcast, Guides and Facebook Community to empower you to plan an awesome wedding day and put all of the wedstress and obligation straight in the Fuck It Bucket!
With 350+ episodes of Bridechilla, 3 Guides and hundreds of blogs, get started on your path to wedding planning zen!

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