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Bridechilla Blog

Game of Thrones Inspired Wedding Shoot

by Kaila Cales April 18, 2019

With the premiere of the newest and last season of Game of Thrones last weekend, we thought it was only fitting to showcase some lovely Game of Thrones wedding inspiration! These wedding vendors are big fans of Games of Thrones, and couldn't help but notice that a lot of trends may have come from this series - the long sleeves, the organic dramatic florals, and even the braids!

Game of Thrones inspired wedding editorial in Texas

Game of Thrones inspried wedding editorial in Texas

Sonia with C. Baron Photography says "Naturally with the last season upon us we wanted to pay homage to one of the shows that has inspired a lot of us. We already knew there was a castle in Texas that we could use so then our wheels started turning. We wanted a non traditional gown that still looked amazing but reflected the "time period" of this fictional world."

Florist, Elemental Floral Events, came up with the most beautiful colors to liven up the space. As for the cake, Edible Moments ran with the mother of dragon idea and came up with an incredible dragon egg of our own!

Add in all the metal dinner pieces, DIY egg centerpieces, and candles and you have yourself a wedding worthy of Game of Thrones! All of these little elements came together and created a little piece of Westeros here in Texas!

Rockstar Vendor Team

Photo & Video - C. Baron Photography

Venue - Newman's Castle

Event Design - Sweet Tea and Linen

Invitation Design - My Urban Invites

Floral Design - Elemental Floral Events

Cake Designer - Edible Moments

April 18, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

Let’s Talk About Sex with Caitlin and Michael Doemner

by Aleisha April 15, 2019

written by Aleisha

Want to talk about sex? On this episode of the Bridechilla Podcast we are going to do just that. Guests Caitlin and Michael Doemner join the show to talk about their book Sex Every Day and how they developed a way to prioritize pleasure in their marriage. Busy lives, hectic schedules, unhealthy attitudes and negative past experiences hinder an active and pleasurable sex life. Cailin and Michael share tips for how to open up the conversation and get on the road to a better sex life.

Listen to episode 368 of Bridechilla

Removing barriers that prevent conversations about sex

When two people join in marriage, they each bring their own set of histories and expectations to the marriage, and particularly to the bedroom. It can be difficult to get on the same page in regard to sex. The first step is to have open communication with each other about your wants and desires. However, talking about sex can be awkward. One unique way that Caitlin suggests to start the conversation is by coming up with a menu. Couples can talk about what they would like each day by discussing what they want from the menu. Using creative conversation starters can help remove some of the barriers that stand in the way of healthy communication about sex.

One thing that has been really helpful for us, inside of our bedroom, letting go of that right/wrong, good/bad languaging and instead saying “more or less pleasurable"

How to have sex everyday

Caitlin and Michael have sex everyday. But having sex doesn’t always have to involve intercourse. It is more about experiencing intimacy with your partner everyday. Even when one person might feel tired or sick, there are still opportunities to express and experience intimacy with one another. The key to sex everyday is to prioritize pleasure within the marriage. Listen to this episode to hear great advice for how to do that and much more.

Photo by Autri Taheri

Better sex begins with better conversations

In some traditions and backgrounds, talking about sex is taboo. Some religious traditions associate sex with shame. But if you can’t talk about it with your partner, how will you ever know how to serve and please one another? Couples should seek to create a safe place where sex can be talked about openly. Removing the right/wrong or good/bad language from the conversation can help alleviate shame from the conversation. With time and practice you’ll eventually see progress in your communication and participation with sex.

One of the things that Caitlin and I base our lives on is radical personal responsibility and really just owning every piece of your life.

What are your sex goals?

When it comes to sex or any other aspect of your relationship, how do you define success? Zig Ziglar says, “If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.” Having goals in marriage will help your relationship progress to greater intimacy and pleasure. The first goal should be to prioritize your spouse, considering their wants and needs above your own. Michael and Caitlin talk about their commitment to radical personal responsibility. They also discuss how intentionality fuels intimacy in marriage. Hear all about that and much more on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

Photo by Matheus Ferrero

Download the 'Sex Every Day' Menu

Listen to episode 368 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

[0:40] Introduction of guests Caitlin and Michael Doemner, authors of Sex Every Day
[3:37] Michael and Caitlin talk about how they started off in their marriage and how they approached the conversation of sex.
[7:44] What led to writing a book about sex?
[11:59] How to overcome the times when you don’t have the energy to pursue intimacy with your partner.
[15:16] Success in marriage begins by being intentional about investing time and energy in your relationship.
[22:43] Our background and personal history affects the way we deal with sex in marriage.
[28:13] Recognizing where your perception and perspective comes from in regard to what is right and wrong about sex
[34:13] How to connect with Caitlin and Michael and the communities they offer for coaching and help.

Meet Caitlin & Michael Doemner

Caitlin & Michael Doemner met in high school... but they went their own ways after graduation. They reconnected and got married in 2008 with Michael's six year old son as a groomsman. They have been happily married for over ten years and have continued to have sex every day, despite having three more babies and building several successful businesses together!

In their new book Sex Every Day Caitlin & Michael share the 3-step process they use to prioritize sex in their marriage. You can purchase their book at www.SexEveryDayBook.com

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Toa Heftiba

April 15, 2019

Bridechilla Blog

Destination Wedding in Costa Rica

by Kaila Cales April 11, 2019

written by Kaila Cales

Trisha and Cary have known each other for over 10 years. They finally began dating 5 years ago and now here they are - ready to say ‘I do’!

They had been to Costa Rica a couple years ago and absolutely loved their visit. After working with Susan La Reau the fabulous wedding planner and visiting Arenas del Mar, they knew this would be the perfect place to start their new adventure together.

groom's reaction to first look at wedding

bride and groom photos in destination wedding in costa rica

To make their wedding even more memorable, Trisha and Cary had several special wedding details including beautiful agate stones with the names of their guests inscribed on them.

The written word was also an important element of their wedding. Not only did they have a special little wedding vow book, but also Trisha’s gift to Cary was a touching, handwritten book of all the reasons why she loves him. They also had their beautifully designed invitations on display.

For getting ready, the bridesmaids all had lovely, embroidered robes for before they donned their dresses and each bridesmaid wore a turquoise necklace.

mom and dad walking bride down the aisle

bride and groom pouring sand during ceremony

bride and grooming cheering after the ceremony

I suppose that all brides love their dresses and accessories but Trisha was especially in love with her dress, tiara, and veil and wanted good photos to remember them by. So the photographer said they had fun playing with her veil and getting some creative shots.

bride and groom photos in costa rica destination wedding

Tran_Ingram_KevinHeslinPhotographyCostaRicaDestinationWeddingPhotography_Trisha_Cary_3205_big

large group shot on the beach at destination wedding in costa rica

During the ceremony, the couple opted for a sand ceremony, representing their two lives becoming one.

At the reception, you can see the fun they had with their huge, wedding cake shaped piñata! For this part, Trisha donned her traditional Vietnamese dress. This was more comfortable for dancing, whacking at that piñata, and all around enjoying herself.

We loved this fun, colorful wedding full of culture!

colorful wedding reception details in costa rica

bride and groom hitting pinata at their reception

TRISHA AND CARY'S ROCKSTAR VENDORS

Photographer: Kevin Heslin Photography

Venue: Arenas del Mar

Planner: Susan La Reau

Rentals: Eventos Boadicea

April 11, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Guest Post

Sparks Joy? How to Marie Kondo your Relationships

by Bibi Raven April 9, 2019

written by Bibi Raven

A few things are on everyone’s lips at the moment - Brexit, Trump, and Marie Kondo.

While the two former topics are in the political category, to some Marie Kondo is equally as controversial. The 4-foot-7 Japanese tidying expert and creator of the much-loved KonMari method has the world under her spell with her Netflix series Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.
She's telling everyone (in her adorable voice) to toss everything and anything we own that doesn’t immediately ‘spark joy.’

Though the focus of the KonMari method is most applicable to the junk in our homes (and our handbags), there’s something to be said about applying her inspiring advice to relationships. Merely change the question “Does it spark joy?” to “Does he/she spark joy?”, and you’ve got a simple, practical way of assessing your relationships.

I know it’s a lot easier to get rid of an old pair of shoes than a boyfriend. But are they really that different?

Wait. Don’t answer that.

Here’s the lowdown on how you can use the tried and true words of MK and apply them to your relationships with everyone from your marriage partner to your best mate.

1. Don’t Hold on Forever

It’s sad to think of letting people go, particularly if you’ve known each other for a long time. But sometimes relationships need to be tossed out. Like an old pair of jeans!

We all have that sexy pair of skin-tight pants at the back of our cupboard. The ones that we fit into years ago, but sadly, as much as we jump up and down and lie back on the bed, they just don’t seem to fit anymore.

Like those pair of jeans, as we grow older (and wider), we outgrow our relationships. There’s no shame in accepting that it could be time to cut ties and move on. Rather invest your time and love in a new pair of jeans, I mean person, that fits you just right.

2. But Don’t Be Too Hasty

You might really be in the groove of KonMari-ng your life, thinking “Don't like ‘em? Dump ‘em!” to everything and everyone. But unfortunately, relationships and people are a lot more complicated than immaterial objects.

The connections with others that really matter are the ones that survive ups and downs, and as such, you should consider the long-term aspects. You don’t want to be too rash, kicking someone out of your life because you’re having a bad day or because they’ve done something to piss you off.

Keep in mind the benefits of your relationship. Remember that time they picked you up when your car broke down? Or when they came over with comfort food after a breakup? Or when they held your hair back when you partied a little too hard? It’s good to have these sorts of friends around, even if you don’t love them all the time. And as far as marriage goes, you might want to listen to this out-of-the-box marriage advice from therapist Susan Pease Gadoua before throwing in the towel.

3. Take the Time

In her book The Life-Changing Magic, Kondo estimates that the entire process of tidying your house should take six months. Six months? That’s a hell of a long, tidy up session.

Just as you take a significant amount of time to clutter-free your house, so should a certain amount of time be dedicated to your relationships. This tip is twofold.

On the one hand, take the time to assess your relationships regularly. Set aside a time when you can be left alone to make a practical list of pros and cons. What are you benefiting from the relationship? What are you giving in return? What word springs to mind when you think of your relationship with that other person? Do they make you a better version of yourself?

These aren’t easy questions that can be answered in a second. They take some serious thinking and reflection.

On the other hand, take the time to be with the people you love. Relationships are an investment, and the only thing that you should be investing is time. That means putting down your phone and actually engaging with them. Having a meaningful conversation. Do a fun activity together. Just lie in bed in silence. All things that will make your bond even stronger.

4. Don’t Show Love with Material Things

If there’s any fundamental truth about the KonMari way, it’s that less is more. Having fewer bits and bobs cluttering up your home can really give you a sense of freedom and weightlessness you didn’t even know you needed.

So why do we continue to give our loved ones crappy presents that clutter up their lives? This ends now.

Instead of the cliche piece of jewellery or technological gadget, treat your partner to a minimalist anniversary gift that won’t collect dust. I’m talking about unforgettable experiences and activities that create new memories as a couple. Memories are so much more meaningful, and you simply cannot put a price on them. It will also help you grow together, which is one of the secrets to a long-lasting relationship.

5. Be Brave

Getting rid of the old and welcoming the new isn’t easy. In fact, it’s bloody difficult.

But KonMari has a tip - be brave. Be brave in welcoming someone new into your life. And be brave to let go the ones that are bringing you more worries than joy. In the words of Ms. Kondo, “When we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.”

When it comes to relationships, many of us have a fear of never finding someone else better. But as the old saying goes, there is plenty of fish in the sea. If a particular fish isn’t doing it for you anymore, be brave and let them go.

When less time and energy is being spent on negative people in your life, more space is made available for better, more meaningful relationships. That means making more friends and meeting more people - people that really spark joy in your life.

6. Have a Look at Yourself Before You Clean Your Surroundings

Adopting the KonMari lifestyle is a very inward journey. You may be cleaning up your house, but in fact, you’re cleaning up your mind. It involves a total mind shift for it to really work long-term.

In the same way, remember to analyse yourself as well as the other person. Don’t be too quick to assign blame for relationship problems when it could, in fact, be you. Be open to the idea that issues such as intimacy and commitment could be stemming from your own personal problems. There’s no shame in realising where you have gone wrong and adopting a new way of viewing the world and your relationships. It’s all part of the KonMari way.

April 9, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

367- Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels

by Aleisha April 8, 2019

written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, Susan Pease Gadoua and Vicki Larson talk about their book “The New I Do: Reshaping marriage for skeptics, realists and rebels.” Many couples spend a great deal of time planning the wedding day without giving a lot of thought to what happens after the event ends. The reality is, after the wedding the real work of being married begins. Marriage takes work and can often be difficult. Both people bring their own history, expectations and baggage to a marriage. How can you have a successful marriage? And what exactly is the measure of success in marriage? Susan, Vicki and Aleisha discuss all of that and much more during this episode.

Listen to episode 367 of Bridechilla

What is a normal marriage?

Everyone has their own idea of what a marriage could or should look like. Often, this vision of marriage is more of a fairy tale than reality. There are also societal constructs that have imposed a definition of a normal marriage. As the time and ethos changes around the world, perhaps it is time for a new, better definition of what a normal marriage looks like. And perhaps the reality is that there is no such thing as normal. Every individual and couple is different and can define normal in different ways. During this episode, guests Susan Pease Gadoua and Vicki Larson encourage couples to ignore the social demands and determine for themselves the type of marriage that works for them.

We just want people to have more conversations going in and more conversations throughout the marriage about what each wants from the marriage and from each other.

How to have a successful marriage

No one gets married hoping it will fail. Most couples get married with the age-old phrase “Til death do us part” as the goal for their marriage. While being married for life is a great aspiration, what if that doesn’t work for some couples. People change over time. Priorities and personalities can shift. Success in a marriage may not mean til death due us part. Could it be that some marriages are a success if they last only for a season of time? This podcast will encourage couples to evaluate their definition of success and avoid being overwhelmed by the pressure of a lifelong partnership.

Photo by Alex Holyoake

What is a prenup and should you have one?

You have probably heard about prenuptial agreements between wealthy or famous couples. But what exactly is a prenuptial agreement and should you have one in place before you get married? While it can sound like a backup plan to the marriage actually working, Susan and Vicki argue that prenups create an open door for important conversations to happen before the wedding. They can be used as a roadmap or marital plan that will help you think through how you will deal with life’s big decisions together. Hear their reasons for considering a prenup during this interview.

What we would really like to see is couples to realize that they can individualize their marriage so that they can decide what will be a successful marriage for them. Ane when more people start realizing that you’ll start to see more happy couples

Marrying consciously

Vicki and Susan write in their book “The New I Do” that 10% of first marriages don’t make it past the fifth year. What is the cause of these short term marriages? Vicki and Susan encourage couples to marry more consciously by asking the question why. Why do you want to get married? What is your motivation? Determining why you want to get married will help reveal some of the overt and covert pressures that can come from society and family about the need to be married and how the marriage should function. It can also help couples decide what model of marriage will work best for them. Listen to this episode to hear about that and so much more on the Bridechilla podcast episode 367 with guests Susan Pease Gadoua and Vicki Larson

Photo by sept commercial

Listen to episode 367 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

[0:31] Aleisha introduces guests Susan Peace Gadoua and Vicki Larson who wrote “The New I Do” and discusses the new realities of marriage
[2:47] The interview begins with how Susan and Vicki started writing their book
[5:48] Is “‘til death do us part” the only marker of a successful marriage?
[8:16} vicki tells the story of her parent’s relationship and how they took a nontraditional approach to their marriage.
[12:20] There are many different forms of marriage yet the traditional mindset remains. How can that mindset be shifted?
[16:06} What are prenuptial agreements and how can they be beneficial when getting married?
[21:26} How can you start the conversation with your partner about expectations and wants about the marriage?
[28:55] Vicki and Susan talk about marrying more consciously.
[32:00] Why do people get married at all? Why don’t we just live together? And what do they mean by occupy marriage?
[34:45] Rather than just planning a perfect wedding day, you should consider how it’s going to work after the wedding day.
[38:54] Where Vicki and Susan stand on marriage after writing the book and what they hope to see for the future of marriage.

Meet This Episode’s Guests

Susan Pease Gadoua is a licensed therapist in the San Francisco area. She specializes in helping couples, connect, reconnect, or disconnect. She has written several books about marriage and divorce and has been published in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, the Washington Post and a host of other publications. She has also appeared on the CBS Early Show and A View From the Bay.

Vicki Larson is an award winning journalist, freelance writer and blogger from the San Francisco Bay area. She has been featured in The Huffington Post, ModernMom.com and many other publications. She is the mother of two young men and has been divorced twice.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by taylor hernandez

April 8, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

366- Wedding Alcohol Q&A with Jacki Strum

by Aleisha April 1, 2019

written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, guest Jacki Strum, founder and CEO of Thirsty Nest, joins Aleisha to address all of your wedding alcohol Q&A. Jacki created a new kind of gift registry for engaged couples by creating the type of registry she wished she had when she was planning her wedding. Rather than giving yet another toaster or coffee maker that the couple probably already has, you can give the gift they really want - a fully stocked bar at home. During this episode, Aleisha and Jacki answer questions about how to provide quality booze at your wedding.

Listen episode 366 of Bridechilla

Creative ways to include cannabis at your wedding

Alcohol can help enhance the environment of any party. There are other alternatives that can be introduced as well. In addition to discussing alcoholic beverages, Jacki gives some advice to one Bridechilla listener interested in offering cannabis at their wedding. As more states continue to legalize cannabis, there is a greater opportunity to have this at your wedding. Jacki discusses creative ways to use items like baked goods or gummies as well as discreet vaporizers. Hear more of Jacki’s insight on cannabis during this podcast.

In general, I think it’s a welcome change and I think there are a lot of ways to do it without turning your wedding into a Snoop Dog video

Photo by Kimberly Nanney

Have a smashing time without getting smashed

Having an open bar at your wedding can be a lot of fun. But what do you do if you have guests who can’t seem to control their drinking? How do you keep people from getting completely smashed and ruining your big day? The first step is to work with your bartenders before the day of the event to assure that they don’t over serve guests. Most professionals will be sensitive and considerate, but you want to deal with this ahead of time. Jacki gives other advice throughout this question and answer session to help you ensure that the alcohol enhances the party and doesn’t become a problem.

Photo by Adam Jaime

I do think it is important to think through the signature cocktail because it is what most people will order!

How to create your own signature cocktail

One way to leave a lasting impression on the guests who come to your wedding is by creating a signature cocktail. It’s also a great way to celebrate with your partner for years to come. Each special occasion or anniversary you can mix up your signature cocktail and reminisce. How do you create this speciality drink? Jacki has some great advice for how to develop a unique mixer that looks and tastes great. She also gives ideas for how to create a signature cocktail even if you don’t have liquor at your wedding.

Wedding alcohol management 101

Including alcohol at your wedding is great fun, but it also requires a bit of management. What if some of your wedding guests don’t drink or are recovering alcoholics? How can you show those guests that you’ve also considered them? And how do you manage the amount of booze to provide for an event. All of these questions are important to consider before the day of the event. Talking with your vendor and making a solid plan will ensure that the wedding day goes smoothly and is an enjoyable time for everyone. Listen as Jacki gives great advice during this special wedding alcohol Q&A episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

Water, water everywhere. People always forget to drink water, especially at outside summer weddings and it causes a lot of problems

Photo by Kimberly Nanney

Listen episode 366 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

[0:42] Introduction of Jacki Strum from ThirstyNest, a wine and spirits wedding registry platform that helps brides and grooms fill their home bar for their wedding
[3:39] Aleisha put out a message on Facebook requesting alcohol related questions for Jacki to answer
[5:48] Are more weddings not only including alcohol but also cannabis for the party?
[9:11] Where are the best places to buy alcohol if you are bringing it yourself
[13:41] Is upgrading to a nicer booze really worth it? What booze should be upgraded?
[21:20] How do you manage an open bar in such a way that your entire party doesn’t get completely trashed
[23:15] Being at higher altitude, do you need to warn guests of the lower alcohol tolerance?
[25:18] What is a mixed drink we should all know how to make?
[28:15] What is the secret to a good dirty martini recipe?
[30:21] If you can’t use hard liquor, what is the best way to create a signature cocktail with beer, wine, or champaign?
[34:06] Is there a way to work with a venue for a group of non-drinkers? What if you have a lot of big drinkers?

Meet This Episode’s Guest

Jacki Strum is the founder and CEO of Thirstynest, a wine and spirits wedding registry that allows your friends and wedding guest to skip the toaster or coffee maker and give you a gift you really want - the gift of a fully stocked home bar. With over a decade of experience in the wine & spirits industry, Jacki created a new way to give to the couple you love by creating the kind of registry she wishes she’d had when she got engaged.

Show image by Brooke Lark

With thanks to this episodes Partners

April 1, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Guest Post

7 Most common things to go wrong at weddings and how to fix them

by Bibi Raven March 28, 2019

written by Bibi Raven

Wedding.
Dreading.
Stressing.
Coincidence that all these words rhyme (sorta)? I think not.

Thought it’s one of the most magical days of your life, the possibility of things going terribly wrong on your blessed day is simply mind-boggling. The DJ doesn’t rock up. The priest gets lost. The food makes every guest violently ill. It’s enough to call the whole thing off and just elope.

While you can’t control absolutely everything on your wedding day, there are some commonly encountered wedding mishaps that can be avoided. Or better yet, prevented.

Here are seven of the most common things to go wrong at weddings, and how you can fix them before they turn the best day of your life into one of the worst days of your life.

It Starts To Rain. Then Pour.

It’s the biggest fear of all brides - having an outdoor wedding and it starts to rain.

While you can’t fix this so-called problem from Mother Nature, you can certainly try to prepare. In the days leading up to your wedding day, check the weather predictions religiously. Clothing retailer Monsoon has released an ingenious wedding weather calculator. It uses Met Office rainfall data to analyse 86 years’ worth of statistics to show which days have historically been the driest and which days have been a total washout.

Even if there isn’t an indication that it’s going to rain, I’d still recommend having a Plan B. This can be as simple as having enough emergency umbrellas for your guests to hiring a back-up marquee tent.

Another way to remedy rain-induced wedding stress? Chain your mindset! Rain on your wedding day is said to be good luck. In many cultures, rain symbolizes fertility, unity and a fresh start.

As the saying goes, you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.

The In Laws Don’t Get Along

One of the greatest joys of a wedding is the coming together of two families. Becoming Mr and Mrs (or Mr and Mr, Mrs and Mrs, etc) doesn’t just mean the start of your own family with the love of your life. It means both sides of the family coming together to be one.

Easier said than done.

When your parents and your future in-laws fight like Montagues and Capulets, it could be a recipe for disaster on the days leading up to your wedding and your actual wedding day.

Your mother wants you to wear her understated retro wedding dress. Your mother-in-law is pushing for a fancy, massive meringue wedding dress. Your father suggests a quiet get together on your parent’s country townhouse. Your father-in-law offers to pay for the Ritz.

It’s enough to do your head in.

So, what to do? The answer - don’t force it. You’re just giving yourself unnecessary stress on your special day.

To avoid any deadly situations, place them at separate tables. This might not be conventional, but it’s better than having a full-blown public argument at your wedding. To be frank, let them avoid each other the whole day if it means making the wedding run smoothly. Possibly the only point at which they have to be within 2 feet of each other and force a smile is for the photos.

Another top tip - make sure they have enough booze. Lots and lots of booze. Hopefully, that’ll loosen them up and have them crying in each other’s arms at how happy they are their beloved children found each other.

You Get Sh*t Wedding Gifts

Weddings are for gifts. Oh and for love and romance and all that jazz. But mainly for gifts.
Just kidding.Obviously, they’re not the sole focus of your big day, but they are a major added bonus of getting married. Unless you get totally bogus gifts.

To avoid such a catastrophe, make it clear to your guests what sort of gifts you and your partner want. This can be included on the invitation, or a friendly e-mail reminder leading up to the wedding.

Are you looking for traditional gifts such as silverware and appliances? Or maybe you’re the couple who’d prefer an extraordinary wedding gift experience. Or even plain hard cash.

Make it known what you’d prefer. There’s no shame. Plus, it’ll help your guests find the perfect gift for you!

You Get Sloppy Jallopy Wasted

Ah, alcohol. A friend and foe. A froend, if you will.

Alcohol can be a great way to relax the nerves. Getting ready with your bridesmaids is often the most nerve-wracking time of the whole day. That’s why free-flowing bubbly is a prerequisite.

But it’s all fun and games until you’re too smashed to put on your wedding dress.

Feel free to indulge in a few glasses of champagne with your girlfriends, but don’t take it too far. You’ve still got a long night ahead of you.

The reception is the part of the wedding where the booze is at its best. Don’t let guests pressure you into taking your 17th shot of tequila. If worst comes to worst, pull the ol’ trick of carrying and refilling a shot of water.

Your Groom Gets Sloppy Jallopy Wasted

Here’s another recipe for disaster - your hubby gets totally trashed before he’s even made it to the chapel.
Not cool.
To avoid such a catastrophe, ask one of the groomsmen to keep an eye on him. Choose a groomsman that you’re personally close with and make your expectations clear - I want to marry a sober man.

They’ll be bound to get a little rowdy as they’re all getting ready together, drinking whiskey and smoking cigars, but it doesn’t have to get to an out-of-control level.

You Have a Wardrobe Malfunction

Picture this - you’re walking down the aisle. The bells are chiming. The rose petals from the flower girl’s hands are falling gracefully to the floor. Everyone rises as you make your grand entrance. Your husband looks at your with tears in his eyes. You take a step. And another. And on the next one, you step on your dress and the entire bottom half of your dress comes apart.

Every bride’s nightmare.

To avoid such an awful situation, always have a sewing kit on hand. Better yet, have an Oh Sh*t Kit. It’s a wedding emergency pack filled with helpful items, from double-sided tape and safety pins to body lotion and a hairbrush.

Someone Brings Their Annoying Brat (After You Asked Them Not To)

To children or not to children? That is the question.

Allowing children to attend a wedding is one of the greatest debates in wedding history. On the one hand, they’re cute as buttons. They give your wedding a sense of energy and youthfulness that can really put everyone at ease.

But on the other hand, they can be a total nuisance- crying, throwing a tantrum and preventing their mum and dad, your guests, from having fun.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else says - the decision is yours. Some couples make the call to allow the kids at the ceremony and not at the reception. Remember, it’s your wedding and you call the shots.

If you do decide to allow the rugrats to enjoy the whole event, a good idea would be to have a separate room with an au pair. Here they can run around, have fun and be safe. And they can sleep soundly when their little bodies get tired from all the wedding fun.

I hope these fixes made you feel more chill while planning that big day. You got this.

Header photo by boram kim

March 28, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

365- Decision making made easy

by Aleisha March 26, 2019

written by Aleisha

Decision making overwhelm can hit even the most organised people, especially when it comes to all of the choices that surround wedding planning. From the 'big' decisions, right down the smaller details (that still require thought) can add up and send you into a downward stress cycle. In this episode of Bridechilla, founder, Aleisha shares her best tips for making decisions that are right for you and moving on with your life, so you can enjoy the process!

Whether you are planning a wedding or just living your life day-to-day, there are a multitude of decisions with which you are faced. More than ever before, we are forced to make decisions quickly while processing loads of information. It can quickly lead to confusion, frustration and burnout. During this episode, Aleisha shares 5 tips for how to step back, slow down, and take a better approach to making good decisions.

Listen to episode 365 of Bridechilla

The pros and cons of a pros and cons list

You’ve seen it on movies and tv shows. The lead character is trying to make a decision so she pulls out a pen and a pad and makes a pros and cons list. It may seem silly, but sometimes just taking to time think things through and write them down can be extremely helpful. Writing a pros and con list can help you process the decision and gives you a record to return to if you start to second guess yourself once you’ve made the decision. Listen for the ways to make the pros and con lists and how they can be helpful during this podcast.

Sometimes there are so many options that you don’t even think about sitting down and taking a moment to write this shit down and walk away from it for 20 minutes, an hour, 2 days, and then come back and have a look at the pros and cons again and see what works and what doesn’t.

Photo by Alejandro Escamilla

The right time for the right decision

Timing is everything. When approaching a difficult conversation, you want to choose a good time to have it. The same is true for making decisions. Times you are hungry, tired, or emotionally drained are not good times to try and make important decisions. Taking a moment to assess the timing both for yourself and your partner or others who might have a say in the decision can help you avoid potential traps or pitfalls that could sabotage good decision making. Hear Aleisha explain more about the importance of good timing in decision making and how you can determine the right time during this episode.

Regret is a trap that I encourage you to not indulge in because if you live with regret and you worry about the consequences of decisions that really don’t matter in the long run it can really weigh you down emotionally.

Not-so-sweet emotion

Making good decisions involves having a clear head. Emotions are a great thing, but sometimes they can cloud our ability to make a good decision. In times where emotions might be heightened, making critical decisions might not be wise or advisable. There are also certain decisions that will appeal to your emotions in a way that prove unhelpful to the decision-making process. Being aware of your current emotional state and the potential impact of a given decision on your emotions is a first step in determining whether or not you should make the decision. It could lead to you either waiting for another time or getting outside advice.

Photo by Christoph Rücker

Embrace the unknown

As fantastic as it would be, no one can see or predict the future. In all of life, there is the mystery of the unknown. Trying to predict the future only leads to frustration and, sometimes, analysis paralysis. While you can’t control the future, you can control how you handle the present. Aleisha encourages listeners to just do your best, live the best you can and embrace the unknown. Listen to this episode to hear the 5 ways to better decision making and much more on the bridechilla podcast.

Listen to episode 365 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

[0:31] This episode of the Bridechilla podcast focuses on how to make good decisions without feeling pressured or overwhelmed
[5:41] Aleisha talks about her approach to decision making and the struggles she deals with in making decisions
[9:22] How men and women differ in the way they make decisions.
[13:46] How high-power people of influence eliminate stress in decision making.
[20:12] How little decisions can be the most overwhelming and how to use a pro/con list to help bring clarity to a decision.
[24:35] Think about the emotions attached to a decision and how they might affect your judgement and ability to make a good decision
[29:27] Ditch the concept of regret or irrelevant emotions
[31:21] Because you can’t see or predict the future, you have to embrace the unknown and do your best.
[34:28] Consider writing down the process you are going through while making a decision.

Memorable Quotes

“I think our generation is making a lot more decisions a lot more quickly than our parents. We’ve got a lot more information available to us which is great but it can make it really stressful when it comes to making a decision.”
“So far I’ve said I want someone to make restaurant and dinner decisions and also someone to tell me what clothes to wear. Just like I need a P.A., a very decisive P.A.
“Taking chances is the biggest joy in life.”

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Dmitry Bayer

March 26, 2019

Bridechilla Blog

Family Wins Free Elopement

by Kaila Cales March 26, 2019

written by Kaila Cales

Vancouver photographer, Michele Mateus, decided to run an elopement contest called Sweet Lovin' Weddings. It was her way of giving back to her local wedding community and creating an opportunity for a sweet couple to win their dream wedding day. She partnered with a number of amazing Vancouver vendors who also wanted to give back and make a couple's dreams come true.

Michele says their winners, Sophia and Taylor, could not have been more perfect. This couple has been together for 7 years, since they were 19, and had just welcomed their third child in April. They had planned and cancelled their wedding three times as there was always something that came up. She said, "I feel like we have had so much pressure from our families over the 7 years we have been together to get married it almost has fallen completely off our radar because it feels like it would be more for everyone else and not us, who it really should be all about. I’d love to win this package and run away for the weekend with my little family and finally be able to say I share the same last name as my kids."

They had hair and make-up, flowers, coordination, decor, officiant services, videography, cake, limo services and photography all donated to the couple.

I’d love to run away for the weekend with my little family and finally be able to say I share the same last name as my kids.

dad and his daughters on his wedding day

bride and groom wedding photos at golden ears provincial park

There wasn’t a dry eye in the house the evening of their wedding. It was pretty special. The vendors knew they couldn’t have asked for a more perfect couple (or in this case, family) to win their first annual Sweet Lovin’ contest.

How did you know eloping was right for you?

"I have always wanted to just elope with our girls. I am not a huge fan of huge traditional weddings, the thought makes me nervous, so a small intimate gathering is all I need."

small wedding cake with gold foil and peonies

Sophia and Taylor's Rockstar Vendors:

Photography - Michele Mateus

Video - Capture Productions
Florals - Blossom & Vine Floral Company
Officiant - Young Hip & Married
Coordinator - La Vista Events
Hair - Goddess Beauty
Cake - Jaconde Patisserie
Limo - Nite Owl Limo Services
Design and Decor - The Little Wedding Shoppe

March 26, 2019

Bridechilla Blog

Quirky Brewery Wedding in Atlanta

by Kaila Cales March 19, 2019

written by Kaila Cales

Amanda And Matt one day both swiped 'right' while on Tinder in their new city Atlanta, Georgia, and as they say, the rest is history! After dating for sometime, Matt proposed while they were in Belgium together and after that they set out to plan their dream wedding day.

They have a special love for spending quality time together and good craft beer, so they decided to get married in their favorite place to go after work and on the weekends in their new hometown! Monday Night Brewing has recently opened Monday Night Garage, an event venue prepared to host parties and weddings in Atlanta, Georgia.

What was the inspiration behind your day?

We chose our favorite craft brewery in Atlanta for our venue and themed our wedding around it. Monday Night Brewing was one of our first dates and we just keep going back, it has a special place in our heart. What better way to get married then at a place you love with amazing beer! We asked all of our male guests to wear funky ties, a key theme of Monday Night. The brewery theme was strung through out our wedding invites, the barrel guest book, bottle centerpieces and hop boutonnieres! Our color palette was burgundy, blush, dusty blue, and navy. Our wedding style would probably fall under brewery, whimsical, quirky, industrial and DIY.

Bridal photo at Monday Night Brewery in Atlanta

Bride and groom photos at brewery in Atlanta

Let's talk decor. How did you style the ceremony and reception? Which parts were DIY?

We wanted the wedding to stay on a low budget and Monday Night really didn't need much decoration, but the little bits that were there, I made. All of the centerpieces were used wine and liqueur bottles we took from friends and parties which I then painted and placed greenery in. The ceremony had a balloon arch with some faux flowers placed in it, which we made through our side business, Amplified Balloons LLC. Other than that we really just let the venue shine, because it didn't need anything. The ceremony was in their outdoor area with a brick backdrop. The reception was held in their chandelier room that had chandeliers covering the ceiling, a burlap wall, a picture frame wall, a moss wall, and barrels everywhere. What more could you ask for?!

Up close look at DIY wedding ceremony balloon arch

How did you personalize the day? What were some of your favorite details?

The wedding cake was definitely a unique and fun part of our wedding. Instead of spending a lot of money on a cake, I made our own wedding cake shaped piñata complete with flowers and greenery. The cake was filled with gold coins, a throw to it being St. Patrick's day. We smashed the cake together to the song "Hit me with your best shot" and it was one of the funniest parts of that day. The piñata turned out to be way stronger than I intended, guess I am a better engineer than I thought!

Bride and groom smashing wedding cake pinata

What advice can you pass onto other couples planning their wedding?

If you are doing a DIY wedding, plan plenty of time for all your projects and enlist your friends to help out. You don't have to do it all on your own! It's great to have a budget but splurge on what matters. Photographers are so important, spend your money to get someone you love who does quality work! They capture all the moments you want to relive. Save your money on decor and money, not on photographers. It's totally possible to have a <$20,000 and end up having the time of your life with gorgeous photos, I did!