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Bridechilla Blog

376- Money Talk. Wedding Planning Money Q&A

by Aleisha June 10, 2019

written by Aleisha

It has been said that money talks. However very few people are willing to talk about Money. Shannah Compton Game, CFP®, MBA, creator of the Millennial Money Podcast is out to tackle the taboo, strip away the stigma, and get people talking about their money. She joins the Bridechilla podcast to answer listener submitted questions about the financial aspect of planning a wedding. The difficulties and nuances of money, when combined with a new marriage, can cause major issues. But it doesn’t have to. Listen now to hear Shannah and Aleisha discuss your questions and start helping you talk about your money so your money can talk.

Listen to episode 376 of The Bridechilla Podcast

The feeling of getting rid of debt...is like running into the water naked!

Marriage and mountains of debt

One of the increasingly difficult issues facing millennials is debt. From credit cards, to car loans, to mortgages, to the ever looming student loan, there are so many ways that couples can start off with loads of debt. How can you ever afford to pay for a great wedding when you have all these bills? Listener Rach writes in to ask if she and her fiance should lower their loan payments so they can have the wedding they want? Shannah explains how couples can plan an amazing wedding without taking on even more debt or even sacrificing their current debt repayment plan.

The keys to communication

Communication is key in every major relationship in life. You have to be able to communicate to your boss, co-workers, clients, parents, and the person behind the counter at the fast food restaurant. Communication in a marriage is doubly important, and it starts even during the wedding planning stage. Throughout this episode Shannah encourages couples to develop open lines of communication with each other. She says to start with tackling the big, difficult conversations so you will lay the foundations for great communication during your marriage.

If you just had a simple 5-10 minute conversation about it, maybe you’d be able to say 'hey this isn’t that big of a deal'

Photo by Justin Follis

How much you invest in your wedding is completely dependent on what you can afford and what you place value in this party, this celebration.

Don’t break the bank to make memories

You want to have a special wedding with the people who matter the most to you. And you want to make great memories you can look back on with fondness for years to come. So what does it take to really plan great experiences that you’ll never forget? Bridechilla April asks how she should handle a situation with her maid of honor who is planning lavish and expensive pre-wedding events that other bridesmaids would struggle to afford. Shannah explains how spending more money doesn’t necessarily mean a better, more memorable experience and how you can do a lot with only a little bit of money. She also addresses the temptation of overgifting at a wedding.

If there is an insistence of signing a prenup, first you gotta really understand what’s in that prenup and the only way you can do that, in my opinion, is hiring your own attorney.

Prenup or Blackmail?

Laura’s fiance is part of a family business that could employ Laura after the wedding. However, her future in-laws have requested that Laura sign a prenuptial agreement. Is signing a prenup is a good idea? And how can you tell if it is really a prenuptial agreement or just blackmail? Shannah advises having your own lawyer involved when considering a prenuptial agreement. Listen to her advice about that and many other topics on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

Photo by Christin Hume

Listen to episode 376 of The Bridechilla Podcast

Show Highlights

[0:33] Introduction of Shannah Game, creator of the Millennial Money Podcast. She joins the show to answers wedding planning and money questions from the Bridechilla community.
[4:58] The importance of creating an environment of open communication in a marriage, especially when it involves money.
[9:47] Rach is struggling with sticker shock over the cost of a wedding, while she and her spouse are also trying to pay off student loans. She asks for advice on how whether she should reduce their loan payments in order to pay for the wedding.
[15:20] Leigh Ann confesses that because her fiance doesn’t understand the high cost of planning a wedding, she was dishonest with him about an item she bought.
[23:20] April’s Maid of Honor is planning great but expensive bachelorette party. How do you keep they cost down for the bridesmaids who don’t want to spend as much?
[30:11] Aleisha talks about the trend of over-gifting that seems to be increasing in weddings
[32:;20] Laura asks about a prenuptial agreement due to potentially joining her husbands family business after the wedding.
[37:48] Shannah plugs her show and shares about more of her content and how to get more information about Millennial Money Podcast.

Meet This Episode’s Guest

Shannah Game is the creator of the Millennial Money Podcast. She is a certified Financial planner with a passion to take the stigma away from talking about money. With over 5.5 million listeners in over 146 countries, Shannah has created a vibrant community where talking about money problems and questions are welcomed and encouraged. Her goal is to help people become empowered to take control of their finances so that they can maximize their money’s impact.

Subscribe to the Podcast
Visit Shannah's Website: Your Millennial Money Podcast

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Shanique Wright

June 10, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Guest Post

How to Tell Someone They’re Not In Your Bridal Party

by Kealia Reynolds June 7, 2019

written by Kealia Reynolds

If you thought picking a wedding venue was difficult, just wait until you’re deciding who to include in your bridal party. Before I got engaged, I thought I was going to have the hardest time just finding friends and family to include. I was in a variety of friend groups in college, so I never really had a core of super knit friends that most people seem to have. However, once my fiancé popped the question, I felt myself struggling to narrow down my party to eight. Unfortunately, I had to have hard conversations with a few people and tell them they weren’t going to be able to be in my bridal party. Here are a few tips to help you if you need to have a similar conversation.

Photo by Brooke Cagle

1. Be honest

If you’re having a small bridal party, or no bridesmaids at all, the fact of the matter is that you just won’t be able to have everyone you love as a bridesmaid. When communicating this to your friend or family member, be honest. If you’re only having four bridesmaids, and all of your sisters are going to fill that role, your friend won’t be able to make the cut. I would avoid saying, “Hey, we’re not that close, so I don’t want you to be a bridesmaid.” Even if that may be true, simply being honest about having a set number of bridesmaids works a lot better.

2. Deliver the message in their preferred form of communication

If your friend or family member matters to you, try to have this conversation in person. I thought one of the friends I was telling preferred to communicate over text, but as we were having the conversation, I could tell she would’ve preferred if I had talked to her about everything in person. Even though the conversation may be uncomfortable, your friend deserves that respect.

Photo by Samantha Gades

Listen to the episode 347 of Bridechilla- How to be a Maidchilla

3. Invite her to other bridal events

If you truly wanted your friend to be in your bridal party but didn’t have the room to fit her in, ask her if she’d want to participate in another role at your wedding. For example, you could ask her to read scripture, pass out programs, help seat people, or even play music during the ceremony. You could also invite her to other important bridal events, like the shower and bachelorette party. Whatever you do, don’t extend a pity invite and make them a third-wheel at all of your events—this could just drive a wedge between you two and lead to extremely hurt feelings.

4. Listen to your friend

It’s no surprise that your friend might be incredibly hurt by the situation. That’s OK and totally expected. Instead of engaging in a heated discussion, bite your tongue and listen to her express her frustrations or hurt. If things do start to get heated, give yourselves a time-out and try to revisit the conversation at a later time.

Photo by Kendra Allen

5. Tell them early

The second you get engaged, your friend may automatically think she’s a bridesmaid. The longer you put it off, the more hurt and confusion it could cause in the future. Talk to your friend as early as possible to prevent them from having to find out from social media or another medium that they aren’t actually going to be in the wedding.

Hopefully, you won’t have this problem when trying to narrow down your wedding party, but if you do, stick to these tips and you’ll be able to gracefully let your friend down easy.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

Kealia Reynolds is a Bridechilla and a house writer at House Method

Show image by Daiga Ellaby

June 7, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

375- Wedding Traditions, Dresses, and Parents Q&A with Aleisha

by Aleisha June 3, 2019

written by Aleisha

In this episode, you’ll hear questions from the Bridechilla community about how to handle the wedding dress being ruined three weeks before the ceremony, how to deal with parents overstepping boundaries, and a great story about a ditching wedding traditions and going your own way. Listen for the great advice that can help you with similar issues when planning your wedding

Listen to episode 375 of The Bridechilla Podcast

Creating new wedding traditions when the old ones don’t apply

The Bridechilla community knows that traditions can be taken or left. No tradition is more important that the wishes and desires of the couple getting married. Erin is the quintessential Bridechilla who is not only rejecting old, irrelevant traditions, but is also creating new and unique traditions. Some of her plans had to be altered due to the fact that her Mom and Dad have passed away. She has found creative ways to honor them while having a customized wedding that is sure to be special. Listen as Erin gives an update about her wedding plans.

If you can attach a meaning to a tradition, then do it. But if you can’t, then ditch it

What to do when they messed up the dress

Bridechilla Kate has a huge dress dilemma. Alterations ruined her dress and she only has three weeks until the wedding. As you can imagine she is stressed out and unsure of what to do. She wants to wear a dress that she looks and feels great in but is afraid that finding another one in such a short amount of time might be impossible. Aleisha gives Kate advice about how to find another dress quickly and what recourse she has with the vendor who messed up the dress.

Lady wearing white wedding dress walking

Photo by Melody Jacob

If you are going into a situation potentially with a vendor that isn’t offering you a contract then it’s not great

Get it right, get it in writing

If you are in the midst of hiring vendors now or have had issues with vendors before, this is an episode you don’t want to miss. While answering the question about the ruined dress, Aleisha recalls a previous episode of the Bridechilla podcast with a guest who is a wedding lawyer. She recaps some of the great information discussed on that episode. When dealing with vendors, it is critical to get things in writing. Vendors should provide written contracts, but if they don’t you can create one. Listen to this episode to hear Aleisha’s advice about how to make sure you are treated fairly and get the service you deserve.

We can’t make our parents. They made us. But that doesn’t mean that we as children have to go along with all the shit that they sometimes pull

Photo by Alasdair Elmes

Wedding planning with parents

Involving parents in your wedding planning can be both a blessing and a curse. While they can be a source of support and encouragement, they can also be opinionated or demanding. Everyone’s relationship with their parents is different. Bridechilla Claire asks how to deal with her dad who is not respecting her wishes for her wedding. How do you handle a parent who is imposing his will on the wedding? Aleisha suggests that, because you know your relatives and parents well, you can judge whether or not they will behave on the wedding day or if the should be left out of the ceremony. She also encourages Bridechillas to consider the parent’s perspective as well and how they have probably dreamed about your wedding for longer than you have. She gives advice for how to acknowledge that reality while still maintaining your plans. Hear all about that and much more on the Bridechilla podcast.

Show Highlights

[0:27] Introduction of the Bridechilla podcast, this question and answer episode episode and the upcoming 5 year anniversary.
[3:18] Aleisha thanks everyone for their reviews and tells where you can purchase Bridechilla items. She also explains how you can submit questions for Q&A episodes
[4:28] Bridechilla Erin talks about how she and her fiance are planning their nontraditional wedding and how they are going to handle not having her parents at the wedding
[6:44] Erin tells a story about a wedding she was at recently where a groom got really drunk and, during the garter toss, spent a really long time under the brides dress.
[9:41] Kate asks an urgent question about her wedding dress that was ruined by alterations three weeks prior to her wedding day.
[11:32] Aliesha gives advice for how to handle a vendor when they don’t fulfill their obligation for the wedding.
[13:16] What to do if you are dealing with a vendor that isn’t giving you a contract.
[26:27] How to deal with a parent who is making the wedding day about him and not respecting the brides wishes.

Listen to episode 375 of The Bridechilla Podcast

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Mark Zamora

June 3, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

374- Wedding Planning Q&A with Michelle Durpetti

by Aleisha May 27, 2019

written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, Michelle Durpetti joins Aleisha to answer questions about planning a wedding submitted by the Bridechilla community. Michelle has produced over 350 weddings and events and brings a wealth of knowledge about how to plan the wedding you want. During this episode she shares her perspective on the timeline and agenda of a wedding, how to communicate clearly to those involved or attending the wedding, and answers several other questions. The questions submitted by the Bridechilla community are always incredibly thoughtful and helpful to other brides in the planning stages of their wedding, so be sure to listen and learn during this podcast.

Listen to the episode

How to create a great wedding schedule

Any event has a schedule or agenda that it follows. This allows anyone that is a part of that event to plan and prepare. It also sets expectations of the attendees. A wedding is no different. There is a structure and agenda that is followed so that everything the bride and groom have dreamed of can be accomplished. During this conversation, Michelle shares how she approaches creating a schedule for a wedding and the benefits of a well-thought out plan. Michelle says, “The timeline isn’t only the thing that you adhere to while you are in the day, it is also becomes a checklist leading into it to make sure all your I’s are dotted and your T’s are crossed.”

The timeline isn’t only the thing that you adhere to while you are in the day, it is also becomes a checklist leading into it to make sure all your I’s are dotted and your T’s are crossed

Destination wedding planning for the travel-averse

Planning a destination wedding can be so exciting. Bridechilla Chelsea is having a destination wedding in France that sounds absolutely wonderful. She asks for advice on how to make her travel averse parents and other guest feel welcome and comfortable during their time in a foreign country. She also asks how she can help break the ice and facilitate connection between guests who don’t know each other. Michelle gives advice for creating a welcome package for the guests that will help them enjoy their time and their surroundings. She also shares ideas for icebreakers and mixers prior to the wedding.

Photo by Alireza Dolati

At the end of the day, they aren’t really opposed to [a nontraditional wedding] so much as they don’t understand it.

Navigating the difficulty of financial assistance with strings attached

Getting married can be expensive and paying for the wedding can be difficult. It’s nice to have parents or relatives who are willing to contribute financially. But what do you do when those donors start sharing their opinions about the ceremony? And what if those opinions don’t reflect the kind of wedding you and your partner would like to have? It’s a tricky dilemma but not one that should ruin your day. Michelle talks about communicating clearly with donors and also considering ways to compromise so that the people you love are able to fully celebrate on your wedding day. Hear her advice on this and much more during this podcast.

If your choice is to celebrate your marriage at 11 o’clock in the morning and you want to dance and 2 o’clock to celebrate that, then by all means dance

How to enhance a midday wedding celebration

There is no such thing as the wedding police. And there is no right or wrong way to get married. It is important for couples to plan the kind of wedding they want to have regardless of what traditions or customs might be imposed in their culture. Bridechilla Jaime asks about planning an 11:00am wedding and how that might affect both the scheduling of the day and the party-like atmosphere that she still hopes to create. Regardless of the time of day, you can create the kind of atmosphere you desire with proper planning, communication, and maybe a little booze. Listen as Michelle answers this and other questions during this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

bride wearing a hat and carrying a bouquet

Photo by Adrianna Van Groningen

There really is no such thing as far as I know anywhere in the world as the wedding police!

New to the Bridechilla Podcast? Subscribe and listen!

Show Highlights

[0:37] Introduction of the episode and guest Michelle Durpett, a wedding and event planner from Chicago.
[4:00] Michelle shares what she learned from doing corporate events that she has applied to planning weddings.
[7:10] Tips for developing and sticking to the timeline for your wedding, and how the timeline helps both on the day of the wedding and prior to the day.
[11:45] Bridechilla Chelsea asks about tips for hospitality for a destination wedding in France.
[16:47] How to talk with parents who have donated to the wedding and are fighting against a less-traditional wedding
[26:22] Jaime is having a lunchtime wedding and wants to know about what kind of timeline plans she should consider with such an early wedding.
[33:16] Sydney asks about save-the-dates to people she’s inviting to the reception but not the ceremony.
[37:20] Michelle shares how brides can get in touch with her and potentially hire her to plan their wedding.

Listen to the episode

Meet Michelle Durpetti

Since the inception of Michelle Durpetti Events in 2008, Michelle has planned and produced over 300 weddings and events including some of Chicago’s most notable, celeb-studded events such as the Chicago Gateway Green’s annual Green Tie Ball, the Fiera Italiana, in conjunction with the annual Columbus Day Parade, for the Joint Civic Committee of Italian Americans, and the Chicago Hunter Derby. Michelle was recently named one of the Top 50 Planners in the country by Partyslate and has been featured both nationally and locally by publications such as Inside Weddings, Style Me Pretty, Grace Ormonde, Modern Luxury Weddings, Strictly Weddings, Today's Chicago Woman Magazine and more.At almost the ten year marker with MDE, Michelle still

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Morgan McDonald

May 27, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Real Bridechilla Weddings

Vanessa and Chad’s Intimate DIY Destination South African Wedding

by Aleisha May 23, 2019

written by Aleisha

Bridechilla, Vanessa and Chad were married at the Chelaya Country Lodge in Somerset West, Cape Town, South Africa. They took on the rather daunting task of DIYing their wedding and in this Bridechilla Graduate post, Vanessa shares her best DIY Wedding tips and is very candid about the highs and lows of wedding planning andthe journey they undertook to ditch traditions and all of the extra 'things' that they thought they needed to plan a wedding and instead plan two week wedding celebration with 25 of their family and friends.

Describe your event in 10 words or less.

DIY-tastic, imperfect-perfection, FUN, heartfelt, OURS.

What was the theme/vibe/feels of your wedding?

Though Pinterest still tried to sneak its way in and lead me astray, we planned two weeks of adventures in South Africa (just because) for 25 friends and family.
A week drinking wine and getting married near Cape Town and a week on safari in Kruger. We explored Cape Town together, we went wine-tasting, we went on safari and one sunny afternoon we got married in the garden of the cute old farmhouse we were all staying in! We had a 2pm ceremony, an afternoon picnic and an evening sit-down dinner.
I have lived overseas my entire adult life, moving often, so missed the whole 'wedding phase' which actually turned out to be a blessing. I came into this with no preconceived ideas of what a wedding 'should' be. I soon realised, that aside from a couple of key legal sentences it would be whatever we wanted which was incredibly liberating!

What was your wedding budget?

We spent max $18,000 for international flights, one week in the Cape Winelands (not incl. the second week of safari), accommodation for all our guests and absolutely everything for the wedding. My point here is that you CAN do something amazing with a small(er) amount of money if you’re willing to think outside the box.

Our priorities were, not blowing a fuck ton of money, doing as much as we could ourselves so we felt like we created our own day rather than just rock up to someone else's design, lots of good food and wine, a relaxed vibe and a real feeling of intimacy and love!

What did you learn from DIYing most of the day?

Only get stuck into DIY if it’s something you enjoy and you’re doing it for personal satisfaction. I am very creative (not skilled, just enjoy!) and we did EVERYTHING ourselves and with the help of family and friends: my Mum made my dress, my FIL made our ring box, I made the cake, me and my girls did all the flowers, I made the boutonnieres (sea glass, a little nod to our lives as a scuba instructors), my husband made an entire tabletop for our picnic, we did our own picnic food, wrote our own playlists, made all our own stationary/signage, built a tepee etc. etc. etc. I had the luxury of time during this planning process: if you don’t, limit yourself to fewer projects or there’s every chance you’ll lose your mind

We learned that it was the ‘little things’ that our guests loved and appreciated the most: handmade cards with personalized ‘love letters’ to be read during the ceremony, love quote cards at each person’s place at dinner, hand painted welcome tote bags, home-made (elephant-shaped!) cookies. All the things that cost next to nothing! You don’t need to spend mega bucks to warm someone’s heart.

If DIY is not your thing, I still suggest finding just a couple of little things to tackle yourself/with your families to make the event your own. Nothing about our day was picture perfect/Pinterest-worthy but I am so proud of what we created together and it means the world to me that others got involved and did so much for us. My Mum put in literally a thousand hours researching and making my dress: that’s worth more than anything I could ever buy in the fanciest store!

I surprised Chad with a love song I wrote for him and we wrote individual love letters for our guests on handmade cards which they opened during the ceremony.

Favorite part of your wedding day

Hands down, the ceremony. We both felt people forget about this part and, really, it's the most important part of the whole event. We had every guest in tears. We wrote the entire thing ourselves. I surprised Chad with a love song I wrote for him and we wrote individual love letters for our guests on handmade cards which they opened during the ceremony.

And your second favorite part of your wedding day...

The Silent disco!
SO. MUCH. FUN. If you have a small group and are not sure how the evening will progress – will they dance, will it be a party – SILENT DISCO is your friend! This was one of the best choices we made and it turned a very pleasant evening into an absolute BLAST! And a 4am blinder for many of our guests. It was a gamble, we had no idea what the vibe would be, come evening but as soon as one guest discovered it, that was it, everyone went crazy!

What was totally worth it?

I put in so much time and energy but it was totally worth it to me as I am creative and found huge satisfaction in it. It's actually leading me down a new career path as an elopement planner hopefully! Some of the simplest details like the love letters for guests were very much worth the effort, they were so appreciated. The multiple cake trials: worth it!

Photography: this was our relative ‘splurge’ and we’re so glad. We asked for lots of candids and they are our absolute favourites, not the posed ‘perfect’ ones. We also paid for a one hour shoot the day after at sunset. This was a fabulous time to get the amazing landscape shots we dreamed of: no hair, no makeup, just the wild ocean. We also took the opportunity to share our vows with each other a second time to really absorb them peacefully. And, my biggest advice for photography, wait for your photos and get them at a time when you and your spouse can sit and enjoy them together. We asked our photographer to wait ten weeks and to send them to us on a specific day when we knew we would be free together. By this stage, the madness had passed, we were back to ‘normal’ and looking through them and reliving everything was just beautiful. Fight the urge for instant gratification: it’s worth the wait!

What was not worth it?

My regrets! Making choices too soon and succumbing to Pinterest: I spent $200 on fucking robes very early on simply because ‘that’s what one does’. My girls aren’t the robe wearing sorts AT ALL.
Fortunately, this was a one-off mistake and all future choices were made without the ‘help’ of Pinterest. My one real regret is not thinking to film the ceremony, at least on a GoPro. I didn’t want a videographer and am happy with that choice but some truly beautiful words were spoken at our ceremony – by our siblings and our parents – and I would love to hear them again and really absorb them.

Stay away from Pinterest, fancy wedding blogs etc. Nothing about your day 'should' be anything.

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?

Everything. The best advice I heard on Bridechilla was to throw the whole damn wedding in, then pull out the parts you and your future spouse actually want. For us, a lot stayed in: speeches, formal dances, cutting of the cake (just eat the damn thing!), being 'given away' (we walked in together), matchy matchy expensive bridal party outfits (girls: short white dress, guys: grey pants, white shirt).

Do not do anything just so you can get a nice photo and show it off on Facebook!

What advice do you have for other couples planning their weddings?

"Comparison is the thief of joy". Stay away from Pinterest, fancy wedding blogs etc. Nothing about your day 'should' be anything.
This is tough but I tried to have stern words with myself during the planning process and stay honest with myself: do not do anything just so you can get a nice photo and show it off on Facebook! That is your ego at work. If there wasn't ever going to a photo of it, would you still do it? If the answer is no, STOP doing it and focus your energies elsewhere.

How did Bridechilla help you plan your wedding?

Saved my sanity, truly. I love remotely and was planning a destination wedding so I had a very limited support network. The Chillas were my virtual bridesmaids! And a phenomenal sounding board to figure out details and keep the Pinterest monsters at bay.

Which Bridechilla resources did you use when planning your wedding?

The Bridechilla Podcast, The Bridechilla Blog, Bridechilla Community on Facebook

Biggest lessons learned from wedding planning

If at all possible, extend the event to more than a few hours: a weekend or more if you can! For us, the day itself was magical but everything either side was just as special and allowed us to spend so much time with loved ones. It made the months and months of effort all seem worthwhile.

Small weddings are just as much work as bigger weddings! You still need to go through all the same stages of planning, you still need to find all the same vendors etc. However, the true beauty of a small wedding is on the day itself: you have time! Time to relax, time to chat to everyone, time to make memories, time to have fun. At no stage did my husband and I feel rushed or like time was passing by too quickly.
Put time and energy into your ceremony. It was our favourite part of the day, hands down. I smiled so much my face hurt and I have never felt so enveloped in love in my life! Don’t be scared to make it your own. We wrote it ourselves and had our siblings officiate. We walked down the ‘aisle’/garden path together as my BIL played guitar. We sat for the majority of the ceremony, standing just for our vows. We all had drinks before, during, and after! We had our parents share their marriage advice. And, my favourite part, I surprised my husband with a song I had written for him. We live on a small boat and work together 24/7 so I was so happy I could keep this one little thing a secret!
Fight the pressure for perfection! Easier said than done, I know. We all succumb to it. I worried about my skin, about my squint teeth, about my bazillion smile lines. It turns out I only wore one earring for about half the day, my hair was hanging messily around my face from dancing too hard! All those imperfections are staring back at me in the photos but, truly, all I see now is HAPPINESS! I’m NOT perfect, you’re not perfect and THAT’S OK coz we ARE all awesome!

Planning a destination Wedding- How did you connect with vendors?

If, like us, you are finding all your own vendors – especially from afar - absolutely trust your gut. For me, communication is key and if I didn’t immediately get the right vibe via e-mail it was a firm NO. I did a ton or research, reached out to so many people and ended up with the most incredible team. People we'd never met till the week before made our day more than we ever dreamed of.

I loved planning, absolutely thrived on it, and planned every last detail of our entire two-week event. I can’t lie: it was so much work. If it brings you pleasure like it did me, great! If it doesn’t, and it’s in your budget, hire a planner. The whole process of the wedding should be HAPPY, not just the day itself. It really saddens me how many Chillas are bogged down by problems, stress and drama. If you’re unhappy, it’s in your power to change it. I know it may not be easy, but you can do it.

For me, wedding planning was life-changing. It brought me huge pleasure, taught me new skills, revealed new passions. I have plans slowly formulating to start my own elopement company.

For those still planning, the very best advice I heard here… Throw the whole wedding in the Fuck It Bucket. The whole damn thing! Now, start pulling out the things you and your partner actually WANT!

HAPPY DAYS!

Vanessa and Chad's Rockstar Vendors

Photographer: stellasassen.co.za
Rentals: Goeters: www.baiegoeters.co.za
Private Chef: Flying Pan: www.flyingpan.co.za
Silent Disco: White Noise: www.whitenoise.co.za

May 23, 2019

Bridechilla Blog

Awe-Inspiring Engagement Photo Ideas + Tips

by Kaila Cales May 21, 2019

written by Kaila Cales

Engagement photos are a lovely way to announce the next step of your relationship to your family and friends. Plus, it’s the perfect opportunity to get creative with a photo shoot and have some fun!

There’s no limit to what you can do. Your engagement photos should symbolize the love you and your partner share for one another. Find creative ways to incorporate important memories of your relationship––this can be anything from the books you bonded over when you first met, to your first trip abroad.

You also have the freedom to get quirky and maybe a little cheesy. After all, your photos should be as unique as your personalities! Use humor to add funny messages or vintage-themed photo props to give a sneak peek of your rustic chic wedding theme.

Before you dive in, it’s important to keep a few things in mind…

Photo by Joanna Nix

Choosing Your Photographer

This is the most important element of your engagement photo shoot. Do your research to make sure you find the right photographer that matches your style. View their portfolio and double-check their reviews to confirm he or she is a good fit. Remember that it’s perfectly okay to say “no”. Your engagement photos should reflect your style as a couple and you shouldn’t settle for less.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

Your engagement photos should symbolize the love you and your partner share for one another.

Backdrop Colors And Texture

Background colors will play a significant role in the mood, tone, and style of your shoot. The background you select will also help determine your outfits. When selecting a color palette, a good rule of thumb is to visualize the season your wedding will take place. This is a simple way to hone in on the right colors and help you collect cohesive photos at every stage of your wedding!

Photo by Caique Silva

Photo Location- Inside? Outside?

Will your photo shoot be underneath the palm trees of a gorgeous beachfront? Or, do you prefer the green, foggy look of the woodlands? Both beautiful and popular ideas. Some couples also find that staying local makes for a hassle-free experience. Keep the weather, elements and travel time in mind when selecting your location.

Photo by Katie Treadway

Consider Your Attire

What you wear plays a major role in conveying the style and tone of the shoot. Take the time to explore with different color combinations and fits. Casual or formal, it’s up to you. Also, be sure to communicate with your expert photographer as they can give you ideas of what looks best on camera.

Photo by Matheus Ferrero

Props + Poses

This is where the fun takes place. Come up with a different number of poses to get a variety of photos at the end of your shoot. Incorporate romantic poses, standing, sitting, and using various props. Don’t forget about the classic engagement ring selfie! If you’ve picked a good photographer, they’ll also be able to direct you to your dream style if you’re not sure how to pose.

If you’re looking for some props to use at your shoot, we recommend these super cute engagement photo props from Shutterfly. They have everything from comic book bubbles to rustic chic designs to fun props your pets can hold.

May 21, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

373- Wedding Planning Q&A Groom Edition

by Aleisha May 20, 2019

written by Aleisha

Nathan Bellah of Generationtux.com joins the Bridechilla podcast for a special question and answer episode dedicated to the grooms. Founded by business trailblazer and retail icon George Zimmer, Generation Tux is the best suit and tuxedo rental experience available today, distinguished by unrivaled quality, style and variety, a digital-first, simple and convenient shopping and event management experience, and direct-to-your-door tailoring services with skilled tailors. During this episode Nathan answers the questions that will help Groomchillas look and feel their absolute best for their wedding.

Listen to episode 373 of The Bridechilla Podcast

Getting suited up

Timing is everything. When planning a wedding you don’t want to wait until the last minute to finalize details. So when in the planning schedule should the groom’s tux be secured? Nathan says that typically it is best to start the suit buying process four months before the big day so that swatches can be delivered and color matching is taken care of. Given that many guys don’t wear suits as much for work or other occasions, it is best to set the expectation that buying the right suit will take some time. However, putting in the extra effort will ensure that you are suited up and looking great on your wedding day.

A lot of people don’t understand that a well-made suit, 100% wool, is a lightweight suit. It is made to breathe.

Photo by Jason Briscoe

Getting the groomsman suited up

One of the difficult aspects of having a wedding is asking your friends to not only be a part of the wedding, but also spend their own money for their outfit. Most groomsmen will be responsible for buying their own suit. So how can the groom help his wedding party understand the investment value of the suit? First, it is important to know that you don’t have to spend thousands of dollars to have a great looking suit. One way to ensure that the groomsmen look great and feel confident about their purchase is to allow them to have input. Listen as Nathan and Aleisha discuss other ways to help groomsmen feel comfortable buying and wearing their suit.

A lot of guys aren’t wearing suits as much for work. It can be a little daunting.

Photo by Javier Reyes

Planning is a shared responsibility

The wedding industry is notorious for gearing their advertising and messaging only to the bride. However, increasingly the responsibility of planning the wedding is a shared responsibility. Grooms are showing more interest and input in what they dream of for their wedding day. How can couples help dispel the myth that wedding planning is only for the brides? And how can vendors better serve their couples by considering the shared investment and responsibility. Hear all about that and more on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

Have someone either help you or at least give you some advice on what looks good. You just don’t want to sit there and go blind on any of that. And a lot of people just don’t ask for help.

Groomsmen wearing generationtux.com Cement Gray Notch Lapel Suit

The most important factor of establishing what the groom and groomsmen are gonna wear is based on color matching for the accessories for what the bride is dreaming about

Common questions about wedding planning with grooms

The Bridechilla Community had many questions regarding Groomchillas and wedding planning. When is the best time to get a haircut/beard trim prior to the wedding? How can you stay cool during the wedding when wearing a suit? What if the groom isn’t comfortable wearing a suit? Are their alternatives to formal attire? And what about gifts for the groomsmen? How do you buy a gift that is both inexpensive and meaningful? During this podcast, Nathan and Aleisha discuss these questions and offer practical advice for brides and grooms in the community. Listen now to hear their insight and answers on the Bridechilla podcast.

Photo by Jacalyn Beales

Listen to episode 373 of The Bridechilla Podcast

Show Highlights

[0:20] Introduction of the Groomchilla question and answer episode and introduction of Nathan Bellah of Generationtux.com.
[4:27] Olivia asks about the time frame for getting the grooms suit secured and for tips on how to get guys to relax when looking for a suit.
[9:37] How to get all of the groomsmens suits to match when they are having to foot the bill themselves.
[14:55] Amber wants to know how to fight the message that the wedding is all about the bride so that the groom has ownership over the planning.
[17:08] How to handle vendors who only address the bride in communication when both the bride and groom are working together in the planning.
[23:41] What is the timeline for the grooming schedule prior to the wedding. When should they get a haircut, beartrim, etc.?
[30:23] Because some grooms are comfortable in formal attire, are there any alternatives for the groom beyond a full suit?
[36:49] How do you pull off mismatched groomsmen outfits without making it look sloppy?
[38:56] What do you buy for your groomsmen when they are all married and have received all the token knick-knacks in prior weddings?
[44:28] Where can you find good fitting suits for ladies?

About Generation Tux

Most formal wear takes days to rent, requires multiple store visits, and is plagued by ill-fitting products that cost much more than renters anticipate and are often received the day before the event. Generation Tux is geared to simplify every step: visualizing colors and style choices, managing large groups across the country, delivering outfits seven days prior to the event for early try-on and reducing the time and cost of getting into and out of a great fitting tuxedo or suit.

Save 10% off your Generationtux.com order by using the code BRIDECHILLA.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Shamim Nakhaei

May 20, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

372- Bridechilla Wedding Planning Q&A

by Aleisha May 13, 2019

written by Aleisha

If you have questions about planning your wedding and are looking for some great advice and a lot of fun, then be sure to listen to this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. Aleisha catches up on her voicemail by answering questions left by members of the bridechilla community. The Bridechilla podcast doesn’t just talk about flower colors or types of dresses. We talk about the serious, sometimes difficult side of planning a wedding that can affect real life and close relationships. During this podcast, Aleisha addresses the issue of taking your partner’s last name, breaking off an engagement, dealing with a double-booked venue and even how to handle citizenship issues when planning your wedding.

Listen to episode 372 of Bridechilla

Bride and groom posing next to a combi van

Photo by Jessica Rockowitz

HI, my name is...

The Bridechilla community knows that no tradition should be blindly accepted. If the tradition serves a purpose in your wedding, then by all means use it. But there is no obligation to follow particular customs without consideration or reasoning. One such tradition is taking your partner’s last name. Bridechilla Kelsey is not taking her partner’s last name and wants to know how to deal with family members and friends who assume that she is. Aleisha also helps Kelsey and the Bridechilla community consider how to handle the family name for when they have children.

We are in a time where we have so many options, there is flexibility. It is not taboo to not take your partner’s name when it comes to getting hitched.

Do you double down if they double book?

Brianna called Aleisha to find out what to do about her wedding venue. After booking two rooms at the same venue for both the ceremony and reception and paying a downpayment, Brianna received word that the venue had double booked and wants to cancel one of the rooms. To complicate matters, Brianna and her fiance both work at the venue. During this question and answer, Aleisha gives advice for how to deal with conflict and how to handle complications when planning your wedding.

Photo by Anna Utochkina

There is no shame in moving on

Before marrying Rich, Aleisha was engaged to another man. To cope with calling off the first wedding, Aleisha did a stand up comedy routine that ultimately led to the start of Bridechilla. When Bridechillas Tori and Rach both have questions about how to move on with their wedding planning after having ended a previous engagement to another man, Aleisha is able to give first-hand advice. There can be shame and guilt that accompanies difficult breakups. Nothing should keep you from moving on and finding happiness in another relationship.

I think we need to embrace these ups and downs and not feel the shame attached to them because that doesn’t get you anywhere.

Finding happiness in your wedding planning

The goal of wedding planning is to decide what you want and what makes you happy and then do it. Wedding planning can reveal a lot about your life and priorities. While planning her wedding, El discovered that she is missing close relationships with friends. She is struggling to decide who to invite to be her bridesmaids and asks Aleisha for advice. Listen as Aleisha encourages El and reminds the Bridechilla community of how comparison can rob you of satisfaction in your own wedding. Hear all that and much more on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

Photo by Rachel Lees

Instead of feeling bad that this is being tainted in some sort of way, see it as a really positive step and a huge milestone in your relationship

Listen to episode 372 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

[1:10] Aleisha introduces this episode, during which she answers questions left on voicemail from the bridechilla community.
[3:32] Kelsy’s question is about how to nicely deal with people who criticize her for not taking her partner’s last name. Also how to handle a family name when children come along.
[9:04] Bridechilla Becca calls to say thank you to Aleisha for giving her the courage to make the decisions that she wants for her wedding
[10:13] Brianna’s venue (which she actually works at) double-booked and is asking them to make a change that they don’t want to. What should she do?
[20:57] New-to-Bridechilla Tori wants to know how to announce her engagement after having broken off an unhealthy prior engagement to another guy.
[27:18] Rach wants to know whether she should invite her Mother to her wedding after a rocky relationship.
[34:10] El from New Jersey, realized through wedding planning that she doesn’t have the close relationships she wishes she had and wants advice on what to do?
[37:28] Laura wants to know how to plan a low-key courthouse wedding prior to their big ceremony in order to help with her Canadian fiance’s citizenship status.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Jonathan Borba

May 13, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Partner

How to Create a wedding newspaper

by Aleisha May 9, 2019

written by Aleisha

What connects Bridechilla couples is that they want to create a celebration that truly reflects them as individuals and as a couple. There are so many ways to inject your 'duo personality' into your planning an event and one of my personal 'new faves' are wedding newspapers created by our Bridechilla Partners Newspaper Club.
You might say, 'Isn't print dead Aleisha?'. No way! Even if you are going super hightech from the future with all other aspects of your planning, introducing a wedding newspaper by the way of an invitation, program or thank you mailout is a wonderfully novel inclusion. Want to create your own? Read on!

“Guests absolutely loved the newspaper invitation and brought it with them to the wedding because of all the destination guidance. Many actually kept them long after the wedding as a keepsake, which was particularly touching!” – Julie and Bryan, New YorkCity

A newspaper is a super versatile alternative to traditional wedding stationery. You can keep things clean and classic or have some fun with the design, think illustrations, maps, and custom crossword puzzles!
They're a practical way to share details about the day or tell the story behind how you met.
With Newspaper Club, you can turn whatever you want into newsprint super quickly and without any design skills. It's easy to use service that offers a flexible pricing structure based on the number of pages and how many copies you need.

“It was great to re-live our day and share photos in a unique way with all of our guests.One of them said it was the best thing they had received in the mail for years!” Adam Morris, London

A wedding newspaper invitation

Make headlines with an invite your guests will want to keep. It can be tricky squeezing in all the details that go into a busy wedding weekend. For couples who want more space to share their story or extra details about the venue and ceremony, newspapers are a fun and unique alternative.

"My wedding was three months ago and I still get comments from guests about how much they loved the newspaper. The best part was working with my now-husband on it.It was a fun project for us to collaborate on and we both put a lot of creative effort into it. It was definitely one of my favorite parts of wedding planning and it will be one of our most cherished keepsakes for years to come." – Elisa Rodríguez-Vila, Miama FL

A wedding newspaper order of service

A wedding newspaper is a great way to share all of your need-to-know details and set the tone for your ceremony. Whether you are having a cross cultural event, want to add singalong song lyrics or just share your favorite memories of your relationship for guests to bone up on while they are waiting for the service to begin and they can be used as a fan!

A wedding newspaper 'Thank You' edition

A wedding newspaper is a fabulous way to surprise your guests with the best photos from your day, in print. Gift your guests a beautiful memento from your celebration, add captions and memories to your 'special edition' paper.

Free, easy to use layout and design tools

No design experience or software needed. The simplest way to create a newspaper is with ARTHR, Newspaper Club's free online layout tool. Add text and upload your images. Pick your fonts and colours, and move it all around to tell your story or design using your own software
If you're already a dab hand with desktop publishing software then you can upload your design as a PDF. They've got templates for Adobe InDesign and Scribus.

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How to get printing today!

Newspaper Club has helped hundreds of couples from around the world print something special for their wedding day.

Order 1 copy or 1000s – flexible quantities for large or small gatherings
Worldwide delivery in 2 - 4 days
Fast, friendly customer support

Get started today with free samples and get 20% off your order (up to $100 discount) with code BRIDECHILLA.

This is a sponsored post in conjunction with Newspaper Club.

May 9, 2019

Bridechilla Blog

A Southern Country Club Wedding

by Kaila Cales May 9, 2019

written by Kaila Cales

Dani and Sam's beautiful southern country club wedding in Greenville, South Carolina was perfect in every way! They incorporated so many incredible details into their day to make it just that much more unique and special. Things like a custom caplet on Dani's gown inspired by Game of Thrones to her unique little dragon ring, each and every detail was well thought out and placed with great care.

a southern country club wedding in south carolina

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How did you meet?

"Sam and I met in college. We had the same friend group, and at parties, we always enjoyed each others' company and conversation more than anyone else's. We slowly became best friends and remained so for a very long time. Once one of us would realize our romantic feelings for the other, the other would start dating someone. The timing just never worked out, and we never admitted to each other how we felt. Finally one day, I was hanging out with Sam before I went on a date with a guy I had just met. I suppose that was the kick we needed, because once I got back from the date and went to hang out with Sam again, he told me how pained he was to let me go and admitted how he felt! The proposal was just as sweet. Sam took us back to one of our favorite romantic spots on the college campus. Our photographer hid in the woods and got some candid shots of the big moment. I was such an overwhelmed emotional mess, but her photos turned out great!"

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Let's talk wedding decor. How did you decorate your space for the ceremony and the reception? Was any part of the decor DIY?

"Nearly all of the decor was DIY! My aunt is the craftiest woman I know. Her and my mom put together the candy station, photo booth station, signs, and all the reception floral arrangements. By making everything DIY, it allowed us to include lots of personalized touches. I'm a scientist, and my love is being in the lab. All of the floral arrangements were placed in Erlenmeyer flasks instead of vases, and we stored the candy at the sweets station in glass beakers."

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Did you personalize the day in any way? What were some of your favorite parts of your wedding?

"We used the dragon theme quite a bit and incorporated my love for science. My husband is a software engineer and a bit of a tech junky. Instead of opting for the traditional, formal invitations, we sent out fun invitations with cute bride/groom robots on them. Sam and I initially became best friends over our love for superheroes and comics, so the photo booth station had lots of superhero props."

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What was the most anticipated or special moment of your wedding day?

"Besides marrying Sam? Probably the father-daughter dance. I love my daddy. Every since I was a kid, he taught me what proper music and real talent was. When he drove me and my sister around, we'd always be singing the classics like the Allman Brothers, Van Morrison, Doobie Brothers, Eric Clapton, etc. Dad even named me after an Allman Brothers song (Sweet Melissa. My legal first name is Melissa and nickname is Dani). We naturally chose the Allman Brothers' 'Blue Sky' to dance to. It was especially emotional since Gregg Allman passed away just weeks before our wedding. During our dance, Dad and I sang the lyrics to each other through tears and all, just as we always have."

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Do you have any wedding planning or marriage advice that you'd like to share with other couples planning their day?

"Don't try to tackle it all at once! It will overwhelm you. Make weekly goals and focus on ONLY those goals that week. Also, no matter how picky you are, don't be afraid to ask your fiance for help. Just be direct and specific. They will likely appreciate your instruction so that they can feel useful."