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Bridechilla Wedding Planning

Helping You Ditch Wedding Stress And Plan The Wedding You Want

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Bridechilla Directory

Bridechilla BlogBridechilla DirectoryGuest Post

How to Make Your Wedding Day NOT About Photography

by Aleisha May 2, 2019
written by Aleisha

Wedding photographer and directory member, Bree Woolliscroft shares how Bridechillas can make their wedding days more about them and less about the photography – while still capturing amazing images. 

I feel that I should preface this blog post with a statement of permission for all of you reading this that are feeling the weight of instagram, family, or any other societal pressure:

You have FULL permission to make your wedding day about YOU and your love story. Your wedding day does not need to be about photography, and in fact – it shouldn’t be. You have full permission to not feel the need to be or do anything for a few pieces of glass, a mirror, or some digital files.

I can feel the rest of the industry angry-glaring at me for this, and that’s really okay with me. Really and truly your wedding day is about the fist fight of love that you and your partner have gone through to get to the altar. It’s about the promises you make, about celebrating with your loved ones or running off to elope intimately. It’s about you and only you.

You have FULL permission to make your wedding day about YOU and your love story.

Unfortunately right now, there is a toxicity in the wedding industry that is pressuring couples to need to feel, look, or be a certain way. To be a ‘boho bride’, or get married on a mountain top via helicopter, or have a pinterest styled wedding that costs 100k.

Here’s a little secret: it doesn’t really exist. 90% of the imagery that you all find on platforms like Instagram, or Pinterest didn’t really happen, they were curated by either a photographer, a planner, or someone in the industry for the aesthetic. Because they were

‘Blog feature worthy’. We call this a styled shoot.

Don’t allow imagery to have control over your timeline

The most powerful thing about a memory is that we don’t always need an image to find it. You have an INCREDIBLE story that you know well because you are MADE from it, and that in itself is WAY more important than some empty and beautiful image you see on Instagram. Even if all of your images were stolen from you, your computer crashed – your house burned down, you still have your memory. You won’t forget the way you felt on your wedding day, I can promise you that. You won’t forget the bundle of nerves in your chest, the shaky hands as you poured your first mimosa of the day to settle you. The way the world fell away around you when you finally, finally saw your beloved. The ache in your legs the next morning from dancing the night away surrounded by everyone you love.

By not allowing your imagery to have control over the timeline of your day, you become free to celebrate the reason you are there in the first place and to be fully present.

Here are a few really, really important tips that will get you through the day without feeling the need to be anything for the camera, to not plan your day around your pictures, and to make sure you feel like you really experienced the day you’ve been waiting your entire life for.

It’s about you and only you. 

Plan to authentically create moments with your photographer AHEAD OF TIME

If your photographer is a good one, they will know that communication with you before the wedding is VITAL to knowing you as a couple, and not forcing you to be anything that you aren’t. All of my brides have 24/7 access to me, and know that I will treat them like a friend. We have discussions about the relationships that mean the most to you, how to make a first look with dad happen authentically, how to make sure we get the shot of the way your new spouse-to-be looks at you as you walk down the aisle, the reaction of your mother as she takes her first look at you after buttoning your dress.

I was recently told a story of how a bride was getting in to her dress, pulling it up over her chest and holding it up for her maid of honor to tie her in, and as her mother turned around, she covered her mouth and gasped – her eyes welling up with tears. All she could say was “My baby! My baby!” as she realized that the little girl who danced in the kitchen all those years ago was no longer her little baby. At this moment, the photographer abruptly stepped in and tried to direct mom to stand in a certain place so that ‘the light was better’, and completely ruined the moment for mom. She completely shut down. You just can’t recreate this kind of moment, so your photographer should know WELL to just shut up and shoot regardless of conditions when those moments are happening. I KNOW my brides, and therefore I know exactly where to be and when so that when the moment comes, I don’t have to THAT GUY by making you re-enact the scene a second time. No one likes a moment-ruiner.

Make sure you are taking moments to soak it in every now and then

Your wedding photographer should first and foremost be a documenter of your truth, not a curator of your moments. I am here to document these moments for you as a nostalgic aid to look back on, but not to be relied on as the only way to remember the day. Make sure you are taking time to slow down, take mental snapshots of the day. What did it smell like in your bridal suite once the flowers were delivered? How did it feel to sit at your kings table surrounded by your bridal party? What was your first thought when you stood at the end of the aisle, finally married? How did grandma smile at you when she saw you for the first time? You get married once, and so being intentional about enjoying the work you’ve put in to your relationship and day by pausing throughout the day to ask yourself questions like this will help you create mental snapshots that won’t go away.

Put your phone down and be present

I can’t stress this enough. Unplugged weddings in my book aren’t for the photographer, they’re for you. I recently attended a workshop where we weren’t allowed to have our phones for three days. And you know how we spent dinners, and free time? We talked and connected. Imagine this for your wedding day, how much more present people will be. Maybe even considering a phone-check would be a good move for your big day so that the people you love as well as yourself will be focused on connecting. You only get these people that you love and adore all in the same place ONCE in your life, for ONE monumental event. Focus on that. Instagramming your day can wait.

Plan your portrait time around YOU

I will be honest here and let you know that there is no place for my art on your wedding day. You have a story that existed before me showing up to your day, and your story will continue to unfold and develop in a beautiful way LONG after I leave your wedding. When planning your portraits, instead of asking your wedding photographer how long THEY need, consider instead how much time YOU want to spend away from your family and friends? How much time would you like to escape the crowd and focus on connecting with your beloved? Your portrait session is less about the pictures, and more about the time that you two get to spend one on one reveling in the excitement of everything that has happened that day, and everything that is to come. It means not making you show love in a way that is foreign to you, or choosing how you show affection. You show who you are – go grab a drink from your bar, and wander off for a bit. I’ll be in tow capturing the truth of those moments instead of forcing some fake-beautiful instagram worthy images.

Your photographer should be an advocate for your day, and there to document what is seen, not what it could be. I believe wholeheartedly that a wedding day should never be about your pictures. There are infinitely grander motifs going on, bigger stories to tell. Better truths to be witnessed. Live in them, and give them your full attention.

May 2, 2019
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Bree Woolliscroft- Destination Wedding Photography

by Aleisha March 14, 2019
written by Aleisha
March 14, 2019
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Generation Tux- The right look. The right fit. The right choice for your wedding.

by Aleisha March 3, 2019
written by Aleisha

Groomchillas, it’s your time to shine! Grooms and groomsmen attire shouldn’t be an afterthought or something that is decided in a 30 minute whirlwind visit to a rental store, where they’re kitted up with a boxy suit that’s been worn by hundreds of other dudes (which also didn’t fit them either). It’s time to ditch the stereotype of men not taking an active interest in what they’re wearing to their own wedding because we know that’s just another wedding myth and boy do we love slaying stereotypes at Bridechilla!It is always an absolute pleasure to welcome new Bridechilla Directory members into our directory family. We are delighted to feature a Groomchilla-centric company, Generation Tux, who offer super stylish suits and tuxedos delivered straight to your door. With free home try-on and with thousands of color combinations and 21 suit and tux styles, you’re guaranteed to find what you need AND look freaking amazing.

Tell us about how you got started in the wedding business and what you love most about working in weddings!

Well, we started this company to make it easier on couples to order their suits or tuxedos AND situate their groomsmen. Guys are lazy. And stores are terrible. We take care of both!

How do you help your clients “keep their chill” during the wedding planning process?

We take care of everything. Free swatches, Free home try-on and a free suit or tux for the groom. Mix that with our service team that wrangles all the groomsmen and you get all the chill.

How do you ensure that you will get the ‘right fit’ with an online rental?

They say a guarantee is only as good as the person that stands behind it. George Zimmer, our founder and CEO, has been dressing grooms for 40 years.

He has had the honor of playing a role in millions of weddings and is now revolutionizing the entire wedding rental experience.

With a handful of measurements, custom technology, decades of suit rental knowledge and an award-winning customer experience team you are in excellent hands for your wedding

What’s the difference between Generation Tux and other suit rental businesses?

“Looking good has never been this easy”, means something to us. It means you will look and feel great in our suits and tuxedos. It means you can lose the measuring tape. It means you will be dressed in the finest fabrics in the rental industry. And most importantly, it means you can relax and enjoy your wedding. We understand this is a rental suit or tuxedo for one of the most important days of your life. That is why Generation Tux will ALWAYS innovate to ensure you are receiving the best possible quality and service.

Slate Blue Notch Lapel Suit

Do you really give Grooms a free rental?

Sure do! Whether it’s a groomsman, ring bearer, father of the bride or just an old friend; five paid rentals qualify for a free groom’s suit or tux rental. Celebrate your big day with a free rental, on us!

What do you feel makes you unique and different from other wedding pros?

Our quality and our service. Award winning and super awesome.

What is your favorite wedding related memory?

We got to dress an entire wedding party who was not allowed to use the venue they wanted because they were gay. We like to do good.

Black Notch Lapel Tuxedo

What is one thing you wish more couples knew about wedding planning as a whole or your specific role in the wedding?

Picking the suits or tuxes up the day before the wedding is dangerous! And you don’t have to! Use us. We will put the suit or tux on the doorstep of every person in the party 14 days before the wedding.

Share 3 fun facts about you and/or your business!

  1. We LOVE dogs. And we donate to the ASPCA to support our fur friends.
  2. We were founded by the former CEO of Men’s Wearhouse, who is super fun and knows EVERYTHING wrong with rental.
  3. And we never turn down a chance to make a bride smile.

Looking for suit inspiration?

Looking for suit inspiration, check out the Generation Tux Gallery, featuring hundreds of real life Groomchillas!

Cement Gray Notch Suit

March 3, 2019
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Bridechilla Directory

Meet the Vendor- Brittany Finkle from Happily Ever Borrowed

by Aleisha September 18, 2018
written by Aleisha

Happily Ever Borrowed - Bridechilla Wedding Partner

Meet Brittany Finkle from Happily Ever Borrowed

Brittany Finkle is a Chilla Graduate, friend of Bridechilla AND the founder of Happily Ever Borrowed, her bridal accessory rental service, that partners with high-end bridal designers to loan out veils, sashes, and combs.

Always drawing and designing, she graduated from Cornell University with a degree in Fiber Science &  Apparel Design. She was lucky enough to work in planning, merchandising, and  buying for top luxury companies such as Ralph Lauren, Saks Fifth Avenue, Hermes and most recently Chanel.

She launched Happily Ever Borrowed in 2012 to help women to rent their bridal accessories for their wedding day. She continues to juggle her life in the luxury fashion industry with helping brides find their dream accessories every day! She lives with her husband Ben and enjoys spending as much down time as possible in their dreamy Brooklyn apartment together.

Brittany and Ben were married at The Inn At Erlowest on the shore of Lake George in Upstate New York.

“For years, every summer we invite a group of our friends up to the Lake for a weekend, so we wanted it to feel like just another Lake George weekend…just a little more dressed up!” 

Brittany and Ben on their wedding day image by Amy Anaiz Photography

Listen to Brittany’s Episode Of Bridechilla

Brittany was a guest on an episode of Bridechilla prior to her own wedding. Brittany shared their proposal story, how she (like me) juggles a full time job and her side hustle AND wedding planning. We also talked about parental expectations. Brittany shares a hilarious story about her Mom’s deep interest in her hair length for the wedding (and knowledge of updos) and also being a very efficient Bridechilla Brittany and having had lots of details already planned, how Brittany struggled to give her family and friends things to do to help out.

Happily Ever Borrowed Blog Bridechilla

Brittany wore a Happily Ever Borrowed piece- Sugary sweet floral headpiece on her wedding day

Tell us about how you got started in the wedding business and what you love most about working in weddings!

I have 3 older sisters, and when I was helping them to plan their weddings I couldn’t BELIEVE how expensive accessories were! After my sisters spent their entire budget on their gown and then realize they still needed to spend nearly $1000 to finish the look, they were crushed. I knew I had to do something, the idea was conceptualized and a few years later, I launched!

My FAVORITE part of working in the industry is hearing from our brides who felt beautiful on their big day without breaking the bank. Whether it’s for financial reasons or just wanting to create less waste with your wedding, we’re so happy to make our brides be able to look the way they want on their wedding day.

Happily+Ever+Borrowed+Amy+Anaiz+Dew+Drop+CombHappily+Ever+Borrowed+Amy+Anaiz+Dew+Drop+Comb

Brittany wears The Grecian /Dew Drop Comb– Image by Amy Anaiz

Who do you love to work with?

Literally any bride. We love changing minds! Even “platinum brides” who are spending a ton on their wedding find value in renting their accessories! It just makes sense not to own something you can only wear once!

Our entire ethos is about keeping your chill. The mere idea of spending $1000 on a veil can make any bride turn red, so we’re here to help brides keep calm and borrow on.

A stunning raw edge veil with scattered crystals & pearls- Luella Veil

What do you feel makes you unique and different from other wedding pros?

Honestly there are no other companies out there who are renting just bridal accessories like ourselves. We’re working directly with top designers and have exclusive agreements with them to only rent with us as they know we’re loyal to keeping both our vendors and brides happy! We’ve been up and running for 7 years and have rented to over 1000 brides, so we’ve got this down pat! Brides and vendors alike can feel safe with our brand and our mission.

Say Bonjour! to this French dotted tulle lace veil- Dot Veil

What is your favorite wedding related memory?

Well my own wedding of course! My husband had written the most incredible vows, which still make me cry every time he reads them to me. (On our anniversary…I don’t make him bust them out after dinner every night).

Silk and Beaded Circle Rose Cape

What is one thing you wish more couples knew about wedding planning?

I wish Bridechillas and Groomchillas knew it doesn’t all have to match and make sense. Seriously. No one will remember nor care. All your guests care about is not being hungry and having a good time. Anything outside of that is just icing on the cake!

An amazing Winter Wedding Addition- The York Fur Shawl

Share 3 fun facts about you and/or your business!

  1. My accessories from my own wedding are up on the site available to be rented! 
  2. We’re working on our OWN accessory line which will be launched soon!
  3. You can take a style quiz on our site which can help you figure out what your bridal style is! All of our accessories are categorized so you can easily shop by your style!

Get Your Send Before You Spend Box!

September 18, 2018
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Bridechilla Directory

11 Experience-Based Gift Ideas for Your Registry

by Aleisha July 18, 2018
written by Aleisha

In this article, Annabelle (from Bridechilla Directory friend Evergreen Lane Productions) talks about the traditional pillar of the wedding planning experience: the registry. The place where your future mother in law insisted you must request china, luxurious bed sheets, and a KitchenAid mixer. While there is nothing wrong with these gift ideas, more and more of us are eschewing the collection of more things we need to store and or keep clean. Enter our hero, the experience-based gift.

When you don’t need more stuff…

I’m a recent Bridechilla grad myself (and guest on The Bridechilla Podcast). My husband and I were married on a lovely beach in Belize and spent 13 months of our engagement and newlywed season traveling around the United States in an RV. We did not have room for a bunch of stuff, to say the least. The experience-based gift ideas in this article are all things we either included on our registry or wish we did.

Photo by sept commercial 

Gift Registry Ideas For Creative Date Nights:

  1. Flytographer session – This company has professional photographers all over the world that will come take photos of you and your partner as you explore the city. We really value having pictures together, and sometimes selfies don’t do the trick. Plus, we had a destination wedding and missed engagement photos, so we don’t have pictures together in our hometown of Denver. A mini photo session would be a fun date option, and you could knock out your Christmas cards at the same time!
  1. Sip and Craft night – almost every city around the world has a paint and sip place where you can drink a beer or glass of wine while creating a piece of art for your new married pad. Increasingly, there are options Upstairs Circus for couples who would prefer to create with a hammer and nails instead of a paintbrush. My husband and I had a date day at a paint-your-own pottery spot where we decorated a Christmas ornament together. For crafty couples, research a local option that inspires you and add a gift certificate to your registry.
  1. Couples massage – Need a little stress relief after all the excitement of wedding planning? You’re not alone. Registering for a couples massage or spa day is an experienced-based gift that’s great for your relationship AND your mental health.
  1. Admission to a sporting event, concert or amusement park – We put a cash fund for baseball tickets on our registry since it’s my husband’s favorite sport, but you could just as easily customize this based on the interests of you or your future spouse. Concert tickets or amusement park admission make for unique date night gifts, or could add some variety to your honeymoon activities, depending on your chosen destination!

Photo by Toa Heftiba 

Gift Registry Ideas For Foodie Couples:

  1. Gift certificate to a meal kit service – My husband and I received a gift certificate to Blue Apron, and we were able to get several weeks of new recipes to try. Typically, my husband does the cooking in our house (I know, I’m lucky!) but it was so fun to learn something new together. We poured a glass of wine, put on a playlist, and had a date night in. This is an excellent gift for both couples who are more experienced chefs who want to try some unusual ingredients and for those who are new to the whole cooking for themselves routine. Plus, there are many meal kit options to choose from based on your location and dietary restrictions.
  1. Collection of family recipes – If you’re in search of a bridal shower idea that won’t require you to add another 50 knick-knacks to your registry, consider gathering family recipes. Invite everyone to bring a favorite recipe and store the cards in a keepsake album or box. Having recipes from my husband’s grandmother back in the Philippines sitting right next to the one for Texas baked beans my aunt would make in the summertime is something I cherish and serves as a symbol of our blended family.
  1. A Passport Program – Many cities have initiatives to help residents get out and explore the culinary scene. The Passport Program is one of those, serving US cities like Denver, Washington D.C., Minneapolis and more. Essentially a fancy coupon book, the passport provides 2-for-1 specials on drinks at a wide variety of local restaurants and bars. This is the perfect gift for foodies who love exploring local haunts, and as a bonus, it’s a budget-friendly registry addition.

Annabelle and her husband, Christian. Photo by Alicia Lewin Photography

Gift Registry Ideas For adventurers:

  1. City tour – one of the best gifts my husband and I received was a food and street art tour in the Wynwood neighborhood of Miami through Cloud9 Living on Zola (also, make sure when you sign up to Zola, you use this link and codeword BRIDECHILLA, for $50 credit).The walking tour meandered through the arts district, and we sampled from 5 different restaurants while learning about the artists and murals throughout. Adventuring with your partner and learning about the culture and history of a new place can be so much fun. Pick your local city to explore or choose an area that you’ll be traveling to for the honeymoon.
  1. Honeymoon Film – Are you heading on the trip of a lifetime after the wedding? Bring home a souvenir you don’t have to pack in your suitcase with a keepsake honeymoon film. One of my favorite things to do is take all our iPhone or GoPro video footage from our travels and edit them together into a vacation film my husband, and I can watch over and over again. Don’t worry if you’re not a professional video editor either – that’s precisely why I created my heirloom honeymoon film offerings. Find me on the Bridechilla Wedding Directory!
  1. Membership to a local museum – We’ve supported both the local botanic gardens and the art museum, but there are tons of options depending on your area of interest. Since my husband and I travel a lot, we chose the level of membership to the Denver Art Museum that included reciprocity with 70 other museums across the United States. We’ve visited at least 10 of these museums for free thanks to this gift! Museum membership is a great way to support the arts and/or sciences, your local museums, and get some travel perks too.
  1. National Parks Pass – More into the outdoors than museums? Add an annual parks pass to your registry. Whether you’re in Australia or the United States, the park service has various levels of park membership. You could pick a favorite park that’s close to home so you can explore it in depth, or choose a regional or national level pass if you plan on lots of adventuring as newlyweds (you’re my kind of people!).

Photo by Joanna Nix

I hope this list inspires you to add experience-based gifts to your registry. Some of these ideas require a little extra research up front, but they pay dividends when you and your future spouse get to fill up your first year of marriage with incredible experiences that strengthen your relationship and create memories that you’ll be talking about for the rest of your lives. When my husband and I set up our registry, we were a little worried about ruffling the feathers of our more traditional guests. In the end, however, the experience-based gifts were some of the most popular items on our registry overall, and the KitchenAid mixer we thought we had to have is still there, un-purchased. No regrets!

Listen to Annabelle’s Bridechilla episode

Resources

Check out Annabelle’s awesome blog post about how to take amazing video without missing out on your vacation. 

Subscribe to Annabelle’s free travel course. Join Annabelle for a 5-day email course on how to capture the magic of your adventure in video.

Evergreen Lane Productions

Annabelle’s Instagram

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Annabelle’s Facebook

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Annabelle’s Blog

July 18, 2018
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Create Heirloom Honeymoon Video with Evergreen Lane Productions

by Aleisha June 26, 2018
written by Aleisha
June 26, 2018
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Heirloom Stationery Design by Wild Joy Studios

by Aleisha June 19, 2018
written by Aleisha
June 19, 2018
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Vivid & Energetic Wedding Photography with Kivus & Camera

by Aleisha June 12, 2018
written by Aleisha
June 12, 2018
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Meet Sharma Shari – Geek Wedding Photographer

by Aleisha May 22, 2018
written by Aleisha
May 22, 2018
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Bridechilla BlogBridechilla DirectoryGuest Post

7 Ways to Make Your Wedding More Geeky

by Aleisha July 5, 2017
written by Aleisha
July 5, 2017
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Hi, I’m Aleisha

Hi, I’m Aleisha

Founder of Bridechilla

I created The Bridechilla Podcast, Guides and Facebook Community to empower you to plan an awesome wedding day and put all of the wedstress and obligation straight in the Fuck It Bucket!
With 350+ episodes of Bridechilla, 3 Guides and hundreds of blogs, get started on your path to wedding planning zen!

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