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Bridechilla Podcast

The Bridechilla Wedding Podcast back catalogue- audio wedding planner. Catch up on all of the past episodes of the podcast, find wedding inspiration and more.

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376- Money Talk. Wedding Planning Money Q&A

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

It has been said that money talks. However very few people are willing to talk about Money. Shannah Compton Game, CFP®, MBA, creator of the Millennial Money Podcast is out to tackle the taboo, strip away the stigma, and get people talking about their money. She joins the Bridechilla podcast to answer listener submitted questions about the financial aspect of planning a wedding. The difficulties and nuances of money, when combined with a new marriage, can cause major issues. But it doesn’t have to. Listen now to hear Shannah and Aleisha discuss your questions and start helping you talk about your money so your money can talk.  

Listen to episode 376 of The Bridechilla Podcast

The feeling of getting rid of debt...is like running into the water naked!

Marriage and mountains of debt

One of the increasingly difficult issues facing millennials is debt. From credit cards, to car loans, to mortgages, to the ever looming student loan, there are so many ways that couples can start off with loads of debt. How can you ever afford to pay for a great wedding when you have all these bills? Listener Rach writes in to ask if she and her fiance should lower their loan payments so they can have the wedding they want? Shannah explains how couples can plan an amazing wedding without taking on even more debt or even sacrificing their current debt repayment plan.

The keys to communication

Communication is key in every major relationship in life. You have to be able to communicate to your boss, co-workers, clients, parents, and the person behind the counter at the fast food restaurant. Communication in a marriage is doubly important, and it starts even during the wedding planning stage. Throughout this episode Shannah encourages couples to develop open lines of communication with each other. She says to start with tackling the big, difficult conversations so you will lay the foundations for great communication during your marriage.

If you just had a simple 5-10 minute conversation about it, maybe you’d be able to say 'hey this isn’t that big of a deal'

Photo by Justin Follis

How much you invest in your wedding is completely dependent on what you can afford and what you place value in this party, this celebration.

Don’t break the bank to make memories

You want to have a special wedding with the people who matter the most to you. And you want to make great memories you can look back on with fondness for years to come. So what does it take to really plan great experiences that you’ll never forget? Bridechilla April asks how she should handle a situation with her maid of honor who is planning lavish and expensive pre-wedding events that other bridesmaids would struggle to afford. Shannah explains how spending more money doesn’t necessarily mean a better, more memorable experience and how you can do a lot with only a little bit of money. She also addresses the temptation of overgifting at a wedding.

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If there is an insistence of signing a prenup, first you gotta really understand what’s in that prenup and the only way you can do that, in my opinion, is hiring your own attorney.

Prenup or Blackmail?

Laura’s fiance is part of a family business that could employ Laura after the wedding. However, her future in-laws have requested that Laura sign a prenuptial agreement. Is signing a prenup is a good idea? And how can you tell if it is really a prenuptial agreement or just blackmail? Shannah advises having your own lawyer involved when considering a prenuptial agreement. Listen to her advice about that and many other topics on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.  

Photo by Christin Hume

Listen to episode 376 of The Bridechilla Podcast

Show Highlights

  • [0:33] Introduction of Shannah Game, creator of the Millennial Money Podcast. She joins the show to answers wedding planning and money questions from the Bridechilla community.

  • [4:58] The importance of creating an environment of open communication in a marriage, especially when it involves money.

  • [9:47] Rach is struggling with sticker shock over the cost of a wedding, while she and her spouse are also trying to pay off student loans. She asks for advice on how whether she should reduce their loan payments in order to pay for the wedding.

  • [15:20] Leigh Ann confesses that because her fiance doesn’t understand the high cost of planning a wedding, she was dishonest with him about an item she bought.

  • [23:20] April’s Maid of Honor is planning great but expensive bachelorette party. How do you keep they cost down for the bridesmaids who don’t want to spend as much?

  • [30:11] Aleisha talks about the trend of over-gifting that seems to be increasing in weddings

  • [32:;20] Laura asks about a prenuptial agreement due to potentially joining her husbands family business after the wedding.

  • [37:48] Shannah plugs her show and shares about more of her content and how to get more information about Millennial Money Podcast.   

Meet This Episode’s Guest

Shannah Game is the creator of the Millennial Money Podcast. She is a certified Financial planner with a passion to take the stigma away from talking about money. With over 5.5 million listeners in over 146 countries, Shannah has created a vibrant community where talking about money problems and questions are welcomed and encouraged. Her goal is to help people become empowered to take control of their finances so that they can maximize their money’s impact. 

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Visit Shannah's Website: Your Millennial Money Podcast

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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375- Wedding Traditions, Dresses, and Parents Q&A with Aleisha

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

In this episode, you’ll hear questions from the Bridechilla community about how to handle the wedding dress being ruined three weeks before the ceremony, how to deal with parents overstepping boundaries, and a great story about a ditching wedding traditions and going your own way. Listen for the great advice that can help you with similar issues when planning your wedding

Listen to episode 375 of The Bridechilla Podcast

Creating new wedding traditions when the old ones don’t apply

The Bridechilla community knows that traditions can be taken or left. No tradition is more important that the wishes and desires of the couple getting married. Erin is the quintessential Bridechilla who is not only rejecting old, irrelevant traditions, but is also creating new and unique traditions. Some of her plans had to be altered due to the fact that her Mom and Dad have passed away. She has found creative ways to honor them while having a customized wedding that is sure to be special. Listen as Erin gives an update about her wedding plans.

If you can attach a meaning to a tradition, then do it. But if you can’t, then ditch it

What to do when they messed up the dress

Bridechilla Kate has a huge dress dilemma. Alterations ruined her dress and she only has three weeks until the wedding. As you can imagine she is stressed out and unsure of what to do. She wants to wear a dress that she looks and feels great in but is afraid that finding another one in such a short amount of time might be impossible. Aleisha gives Kate advice about how to find another dress quickly and what recourse she has with the vendor who messed up the dress.

Lady wearing white wedding dress walking

Photo by Melody Jacob

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If you are going into a situation potentially with a vendor that isn’t offering you a contract then it’s not great

Get it right, get it in writing

If you are in the midst of hiring vendors now or have had issues with vendors before, this is an episode you don’t want to miss. While answering the question about the ruined dress, Aleisha recalls a previous episode of the Bridechilla podcast with a guest who is a wedding lawyer. She recaps some of the great information discussed on that episode. When dealing with vendors, it is critical to get things in writing. Vendors should provide written contracts, but if they don’t you can create one. Listen to this episode to hear Aleisha’s advice about how to make sure you are treated fairly and get the service you deserve.

We can’t make our parents. They made us. But that doesn’t mean that we as children have to go along with all the shit that they sometimes pull

Photo by Alasdair Elmes 

Wedding planning with parents

Involving parents in your wedding planning can be both a blessing and a curse. While they can be a source of support and encouragement, they can also be opinionated or demanding. Everyone’s relationship with their parents is different. Bridechilla Claire asks how to deal with her dad who is not respecting her wishes for her wedding. How do you handle a parent who is imposing his will on the wedding? Aleisha suggests that, because you know your relatives and parents well, you can judge whether or not they will behave on the wedding day or if the should be left out of the ceremony. She also encourages Bridechillas to consider the parent’s perspective as well and how they have probably dreamed about your wedding for longer than you have. She gives advice for how to acknowledge that reality while still maintaining your plans. Hear all about that and much more on the Bridechilla podcast.

Show Highlights

  • [0:27] Introduction of the Bridechilla podcast, this question and answer episode episode and the upcoming 5 year anniversary.

  • [3:18] Aleisha thanks everyone for their reviews and tells where you can purchase Bridechilla items. She also explains how you can submit questions for Q&A episodes

  • [4:28] Bridechilla Erin talks about how she and her fiance are planning their nontraditional wedding and how they are going to handle not having her parents at the wedding

  • [6:44] Erin tells a story about a wedding she was at recently where a groom got really drunk and, during the garter toss, spent a really long time under the brides dress.

  • [9:41] Kate asks an urgent question about her wedding dress that was ruined by alterations three weeks prior to her wedding day.

  • [11:32] Aliesha gives advice for how to handle a vendor when they don’t fulfill their obligation for the wedding.

  • [13:16] What to do if you are dealing with a vendor that isn’t giving you a contract.

  • [26:27] How to deal with a parent who is making the wedding day about him and not respecting the brides wishes.

Listen to episode 375 of The Bridechilla Podcast

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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374- Wedding Planning Q&A with Michelle Durpetti

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast,  Michelle Durpetti joins Aleisha to answer questions about planning a wedding submitted by the Bridechilla community. Michelle has produced over 350 weddings and events and brings a wealth of knowledge about how to plan the wedding you want. During this episode she shares her perspective on the timeline and agenda of a wedding, how to communicate clearly to those involved or attending the wedding, and answers several other questions. The questions submitted by the Bridechilla community are always incredibly thoughtful and helpful to other brides in the planning stages of their wedding, so be sure to listen and learn during this podcast. 

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How to create a great wedding schedule

Any event has a schedule or agenda that it follows. This allows anyone that is a part of that event to plan and prepare. It also sets expectations of the attendees. A wedding is no different. There is a structure and agenda that is followed so that everything the bride and groom have dreamed of can be accomplished. During this conversation, Michelle shares how she approaches creating a schedule for a wedding and the benefits of a well-thought out plan. Michelle says, “The timeline isn’t only the thing that you adhere to while you are in the day, it is also becomes a checklist leading into it to make sure all your I’s are dotted and your T’s are crossed.”

The timeline isn’t only the thing that you adhere to while you are in the day, it is also becomes a checklist leading into it to make sure all your I’s are dotted and your T’s are crossed

Destination wedding planning for the travel-averse

Planning a destination wedding can be so exciting. Bridechilla Chelsea is having a destination wedding in France that sounds absolutely wonderful. She asks for advice on how to make her travel averse parents and other guest feel welcome and comfortable during their time in a foreign country. She also asks how she can help break the ice and facilitate connection between guests who don’t know each other. Michelle gives advice for creating a welcome package for the guests that will help them enjoy their time and their surroundings. She also shares ideas for icebreakers and mixers prior to the wedding.  

Photo by Alireza Dolati 

At the end of the day, they aren’t really opposed to [a nontraditional wedding] so much as they don’t understand it.

Navigating the difficulty of financial assistance with strings attached

Getting married can be expensive and paying for the wedding can be difficult. It’s nice to have parents or relatives who are willing to contribute financially. But what do you do when those donors start sharing their opinions about the ceremony? And what if those opinions don’t reflect the kind of wedding you and your partner would like to have? It’s a tricky dilemma but not one that should ruin your day. Michelle talks about communicating clearly with donors and also considering ways to compromise so that the people you love are able to fully celebrate on your wedding day. Hear her advice on this and much more during this podcast.

If your choice is to celebrate your marriage at 11 o’clock in the morning and you want to dance and 2 o’clock to celebrate that, then by all means dance

How to enhance a midday wedding celebration

There is no such thing as the wedding police. And there is no right or wrong way to get married. It is important for couples to plan the kind of wedding they want to have regardless of what traditions or customs might be imposed in their culture. Bridechilla Jaime asks about planning an 11:00am wedding and how that might affect both the scheduling of the day and the party-like atmosphere that she still hopes to create. Regardless of the time of day, you can create the kind of atmosphere you desire with proper planning, communication, and maybe a little booze. Listen as Michelle answers this and other questions during this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

bride wearing a hat and carrying a bouquet

Photo by Adrianna Van Groningen

There really is no such thing as far as I know anywhere in the world as the wedding police!

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Show Highlights

  • [0:37] Introduction of the episode and guest Michelle Durpett, a wedding and event planner from Chicago.

  • [4:00] Michelle shares what she learned from doing corporate events that she has applied to planning weddings.

  • [7:10] Tips for developing and sticking to the timeline for your wedding, and how the timeline helps both on the day of the wedding and prior to the day.

  • [11:45] Bridechilla Chelsea asks about tips for hospitality for a destination wedding in France.

  • [16:47] How to talk with parents who have donated to the wedding and are fighting against a less-traditional wedding

  • [26:22] Jaime is having a lunchtime wedding and wants to know about what kind of timeline plans she should consider with such an early wedding.

  • [33:16] Sydney asks about save-the-dates to people she’s inviting to the reception but not the ceremony.

  • [37:20] Michelle shares how brides can get in touch with her and potentially hire her to plan their wedding.   

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Meet Michelle Durpetti

Since the inception of  Michelle Durpetti Events  in 2008, Michelle has planned and produced over 300 weddings and events including some of Chicago’s most notable, celeb-studded events such as the Chicago Gateway Green’s annual Green Tie Ball, the Fiera Italiana, in conjunction with the annual Columbus Day Parade, for the Joint Civic Committee of Italian Americans, and the Chicago Hunter Derby. Michelle was recently named one of the Top 50 Planners in the country by Partyslate and has been featured both nationally and locally by publications such as Inside Weddings, Style Me Pretty, Grace Ormonde, Modern Luxury Weddings, Strictly Weddings, Today's Chicago Woman Magazine and more.At almost the ten year marker with MDE, Michelle still

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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373- Wedding Planning Q&A Groom Edition

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Nathan Bellah of Generationtux.com joins the Bridechilla podcast for a special question and answer episode dedicated to the grooms. Founded by business trailblazer and retail icon George Zimmer, Generation Tux is the best suit and tuxedo rental experience available today, distinguished by unrivaled quality, style and variety, a digital-first, simple and convenient shopping and event management experience, and direct-to-your-door tailoring services with skilled tailors. During this episode Nathan answers the questions that will help Groomchillas look and feel their absolute best for their wedding. 

Listen to episode 373 of The Bridechilla Podcast

Getting suited up

Timing is everything. When planning a wedding you don’t want to wait until the last minute to finalize details. So when in the planning schedule should the groom’s tux be secured? Nathan says that typically it is best to start the suit buying process four months before the big day so that swatches can be delivered and color matching is taken care of. Given that many guys don’t wear suits as much for work or other occasions, it is best to set the expectation that buying the right suit will take some time. However, putting in the extra effort will ensure that you are suited up and looking great on your wedding day.

A lot of people don’t understand that a well-made suit, 100% wool, is a lightweight suit. It is made to breathe.
Groom in a tuxedo

Photo by Jason Briscoe 

Getting the groomsman suited up

One of the difficult aspects of having a wedding is asking your friends to not only be a part of the wedding, but also spend their own money for their outfit. Most groomsmen will be responsible for buying their own suit. So how can the groom help his wedding party understand the investment value of the suit? First, it is important to know that you don’t have to spend thousands of dollars to have a great looking suit. One way to ensure that the groomsmen look great and feel confident about their purchase is to allow them to have input. Listen as Nathan and Aleisha discuss other ways to help groomsmen feel comfortable buying and wearing their suit.

A lot of guys aren’t wearing suits as much for work. It can be a little daunting.
groom having his bowtie fixed

Photo by Javier Reyes

Planning is a shared responsibility

The wedding industry is notorious for gearing their advertising and messaging only to the bride. However, increasingly the responsibility of planning the wedding is a shared responsibility. Grooms are showing more interest and input in what they dream of for their wedding day. How can couples help dispel the myth that wedding planning is only for the brides? And how can vendors better serve their couples by considering the shared investment and responsibility. Hear all about that and more on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

Have someone either help you or at least give you some advice on what looks good. You just don’t want to sit there and go blind on any of that. And a lot of people just don’t ask for help.

Groomsmen wearing generationtux.com Cement Gray Notch Lapel Suit

The most important factor of establishing what the groom and groomsmen are gonna wear is based on color matching for the accessories for what the bride is dreaming about

Common questions about wedding planning with grooms

The Bridechilla Community had many questions regarding Groomchillas and wedding planning. When is the best time to get a haircut/beard trim prior to the wedding? How can you stay cool during the wedding when wearing a suit? What if the groom isn’t comfortable wearing a suit? Are their alternatives to formal attire? And what about gifts for the groomsmen? How do you buy a gift that is both inexpensive and meaningful? During this podcast, Nathan and Aleisha discuss these questions and offer practical advice for brides and grooms in the community. Listen now to hear their insight and answers on the Bridechilla podcast. 

groom flowers

Photo by Jacalyn Beales

Listen to episode 373 of The Bridechilla Podcast

Show Highlights

  • [0:20] Introduction of the Groomchilla question and answer episode and introduction of Nathan Bellah of Generationtux.com. 

  • [4:27] Olivia asks about the time frame for getting the grooms suit secured and for tips on how to get guys to relax when looking for a suit.

  • [9:37] How to get all of the groomsmens suits to match when they are having to foot the bill themselves.

  • [14:55] Amber wants to know how to fight the message that the wedding is all about the bride so that the groom has ownership over the planning.

  • [17:08] How to handle vendors who only address the bride in communication when both the bride and groom are working together in the planning.

  • [23:41] What is the timeline for the grooming schedule prior to the wedding. When should they get a haircut, beartrim, etc.?

  • [30:23] Because some grooms are comfortable in formal attire, are there any alternatives for the groom beyond a full suit?

  • [36:49] How do you pull off mismatched groomsmen outfits without making it look sloppy?  

  • [38:56] What do you buy for your groomsmen when they are all married and have received all the token knick-knacks in prior weddings?

  • [44:28] Where can you find good fitting suits for ladies?

About Generation Tux

Most formal wear takes days to rent, requires multiple store visits, and is plagued by ill-fitting products that cost much more than renters anticipate and are often received the day before the event. Generation Tux is geared to simplify every step: visualizing colors and style choices, managing large groups across the country, delivering outfits seven days prior to the event for early try-on and reducing the time and cost of getting into and out of a great fitting tuxedo or suit.

Save 10% off  your Generationtux.com order by using the code BRIDECHILLA.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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372- Bridechilla Wedding Planning Q&A

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

If you have questions about planning your wedding and are looking for some great advice and a lot of fun, then be sure to listen to this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. Aleisha catches up on her voicemail by answering questions left by members of the bridechilla community. The Bridechilla podcast doesn’t just talk about flower colors or types of dresses. We talk about the serious, sometimes difficult side of planning a wedding that can affect real life and close relationships. During this podcast, Aleisha addresses the issue of taking your partner’s last name, breaking off an engagement, dealing with a double-booked venue and even how to handle citizenship issues when planning your wedding.

Listen to episode 372 of Bridechilla

Bride and groom posing next to a combi van

Photo by Jessica Rockowitz

HI, my name is...

The Bridechilla community knows that no tradition should be blindly accepted. If the tradition serves a purpose in your wedding, then by all means use it. But there is no obligation to follow particular customs without consideration or reasoning. One such tradition is taking your partner’s last name. Bridechilla Kelsey is not taking her partner’s last name and wants to know how to deal with family members and friends who assume that she is. Aleisha also helps Kelsey and the Bridechilla community consider how to handle the family name for when they have children.

We are in a time where we have so many options, there is flexibility. It is not taboo to not take your partner’s name when it comes to getting hitched.
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Do you double down if they double book?

Brianna called Aleisha to find out what to do about her wedding venue. After booking two rooms at the same venue for both the ceremony and reception and paying a downpayment, Brianna received word that the venue had double booked and wants to cancel one of the rooms. To complicate matters, Brianna and her fiance both work at the venue. During this question and answer, Aleisha gives advice for how to deal with conflict and how to handle complications when planning your wedding.

Bride on the beach

Photo by Anna Utochkina 

There is no shame in moving on

Before marrying Rich, Aleisha was engaged to another man. To cope with calling off the first wedding, Aleisha did a stand up comedy routine that ultimately led to the start of Bridechilla. When Bridechillas Tori and Rach both have questions about how to move on with their wedding planning after having ended a previous engagement to another man, Aleisha is able to give first-hand advice. There can be shame and guilt that accompanies difficult breakups. Nothing should keep you from moving on and finding happiness in another relationship.

I think we need to embrace these ups and downs and not feel the shame attached to them because that doesn’t get you anywhere.

Finding happiness in your wedding planning

The goal of wedding planning is to decide what you want and what makes you happy and then do it. Wedding planning can reveal a lot about your life and priorities. While planning her wedding, El discovered that she is missing close relationships with friends. She is struggling to decide who to invite to be her bridesmaids and asks Aleisha for advice. Listen as Aleisha encourages El and reminds the Bridechilla community of how comparison can rob you of satisfaction in your own wedding. Hear all that and much more on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

bride wearing a veil

Photo by Rachel Lees

Instead of feeling bad that this is being tainted in some sort of way, see it as a really positive step and a huge milestone in your relationship

Listen to episode 372 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

  • [1:10] Aleisha introduces this episode, during which she answers questions left on voicemail from the bridechilla community.

  • [3:32] Kelsy’s question is about how to nicely deal with people who criticize her for not taking her partner’s last name. Also how to handle a family name when children come along.

  • [9:04] Bridechilla Becca calls to say thank you to Aleisha for giving her the courage to make the decisions that she wants for her wedding

  • [10:13] Brianna’s venue (which she actually works at) double-booked and is asking them to make a change that they don’t want to. What should she do?

  • [20:57] New-to-Bridechilla Tori wants to know how to announce her engagement after having broken off an unhealthy prior engagement to another guy.  

  • [27:18] Rach wants to know whether she should invite her Mother to her wedding after a rocky relationship.

  • [34:10] El from New Jersey, realized through wedding planning that she doesn’t have the close relationships she wishes she had and wants advice on what to do?

  • [37:28] Laura wants to know how to plan a low-key courthouse wedding prior to their big ceremony in order to help with her Canadian fiance’s citizenship status.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Jonathan Borba 

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Blending faith, culture, and traditions in your wedding with Karen Cinnamon

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, Karen Cinnamon, founder of SmashingtheGlass.com joins the show to talk about blending faith, culture, and traditions in your wedding. There are many wedding traditions that have their root in religious or cultural customs. They can be deeply meaningful for a couple and their families. However, when you have a couple of differing heritage or you don’t like a particular tradition, planning a wedding can get tricky. How can you honor past traditions while still keeping your unique, individual style? During this podcast, Karen and Aleisha discuss ways to blend both the past and the present so that you can have the wedding you’ve always dreamed of. 

Listen to episode 371 of the Bridechilla Podcast

Ask the right question about traditions

Traditions began because they meant something. Whether it is a religious or cultural custom, they all started with a particular purpose. Overtime, those traditions may or may not hold the value they once did. How do you decide whether or not to include a tradition in your wedding ceremony? How can you handle the expectations of parents or the older generation when planning a wedding with different traditions? Karen suggests that you first must start with answering the question of why. Why do certain traditions exist and why would they be included in your wedding? She also gives advice for how to respect and honor parents or family members while staying true to your wants and desires.

Embrace the fact that there is something different about your wedding or language and translate the elements that are absolutely pivotal for you guests to understand

Consider your wedding guests

Because Karen is Jewish, she understands the importance of certain traditions being included in the wedding ceremony and reception. She also knows that certain traditions may not be familiar to everyone who attends the wedding. If a couple has two different cultures they are including in the ceremony, then it is likely many guests may not be familiar with certain traditions. How can you make your guest feel included? Karen explains the importance of considering the people that are attending your wedding and making sure they understand the significance of why they are included.

Photo by Allef Vinicius 

People want to include both faiths and backgrounds and blend them seamlessly together to create one beautiful ceremony and reception. You know it should seep into every element of the wedding

Make an old tradition new again

Including age old traditions in your wedding doesn’t mean you have to step back in time to have your wedding. You can still incorporate customs while making them fresh and unique to your personality and style. Karen encourages being creative with the inclusion of certain observances in your wedding or reception. Her website, SmashingtheGlass.com is dedicated to providing ideas for how to include traditions in an original way.

Photo by Allef Vinicius 

Try to include everything that you believe in as a couple and leave out anything that you don’t understand or agree with.

Embrace blending faith, culture, and traditions in your wedding

Trying to include different traditions in your wedding while also expressing your individuality can be difficult. However, it doesn’t have to be. The key is to remember that your wedding is all about what you and your partner want. Avoid the trap of allowing family, friends, or others expectations to influence your decision making. Instead, decide as a couple what is most important and tet that guide your planning. Karen urges couples to embrace the opportunity for blending faith, culture, and traditions in your wedding. Listen to this episode for more advice on how to do that and much more.

State something as a fact rather than ask for an opinion and that way you tend to be met with respect.

Listen to episode 371 of the Bridechilla Podcast

Show Highlights

  • [0:44] Aleisha introduces Karen Cinnamon, found of SmashingtheGlass.com, a platform dedicated to helping couples incorporate their Jewish faith into their wedding. 

  • [3:18] Karen explains why and how she started Smashing the Glass for both other Jewish couples and those with interfaith relationships.

  • [5:45] How do you deal with your parents or generation when attempting to include different traditions into the wedding.

  • [8:27] When thinking about including traditions, it is important to pause, think, and ask “why”. Include only that which is important as a couple.

  • [10:30] How having multiple ceremonies can allow you to celebrate all of the traditions that are meaningful to you.

  • [19:58] When you have a bilingual couple, how do you incorporate different languages without it being restrictive.

  • [22:38] Karen shares how she blended her creativity with the tradition of her Jewish faith in her own wedding.

  • [28:08] How the Smashing the Glass community helps brides plan their weddings and how she keeps it supportive and encouraging.

  • [33:50] The overwhelm and emotion of decision making and how the new landscape of culture makes wedding planning stressful.

  • [38:54] Embracing the fusion of cultures and heritages in an interfaith wedding.

Meet Karen Cinnamon

Karen Cinnamon is the founder and editor of the world’s foremost Jewish wedding planning blog, SmashingtheGlass.com. After planning her own wedding in 2013 and discovering that there wasn’t one space dedicated to creative and original ideas for planning a Jewish wedding, Karen decided to fill the void by starting her own platform. Her job is now to help soon to be brides and grooms incorporate their Jewish faith into their wedding ceremony and beyond. 

Join Karen's Community!

Brides Club is the place to be for all the ‘Can’t Plan Without’ Jewish and interfaith Jew-ish wedding resources, support, straight-talking advice and handpicked discounts you need to ensure you have an unforgettable Jewish (or Jew-ish) wedding, whilst keeping everyone around you ‘on-side’.

For just $25 (or £19) a month you’ll receive weekly live Q&A wedding clinics with Karen, live masterclasses with trusted wedding experts, plus access to Karen's tried-and-trusted, verified vendor network, 100’s of exclusive handpicked discounts, ‘What I Wish I’d Known’ interviews with Just-Married Brides, her ‘can’t-plan-without’ library of Jewish wedding checklists and resources (worth $197) and the emergency bridal hotline direct to Karen.
Karen is offering a 30 day free trial to Bridechillas and Groomchillas! Hurrah!

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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370- Ten steps to great wedding hair

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

If you want to have amazing hair at your wedding (and of course you do!) then you are going to want to listen to this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, during which guest Jen Causey from somethingturquoise.com shares 10 steps to great wedding hair. You’ve envisioned walking down the aisle in front of all your guests to meet your partner and exchange vows. You’ve imagined having your pictures taken and dancing with your friends and family at the reception. In every scenario, you’ve dreamed of looking your best, with your dress fitting just right and your hair styled amazingly. As a former hairdresser who specialized in weddings, Jen has great tips and ideas for how to have fantastic hair that you and everyone will love.

Listen to episode 370 of the Bridechilla Podcast

Put your hair in good hands

The reality of having great wedding hair lies in the hands of someone else. While you may be great at fixing your own hair, your wedding is one time you want to let a professional do it for you. Do your research and hire a pro to fix your hair. Work with them at least six months in advance to develop a plan. You will even want to have a practice run. The best way to ensure your hair looks its best during the wedding is by finding a quality hairdresser and trusting them to do a great job for you.

Photo by Angelo Pantazis

Photo by Kimson Doan

Not just fair weather hair

There are several variables to consider when you are planning the type of hairstyle you will have at your wedding. Pinterest has pictures of incredible updos and hairstyles that many brides aspire to have. However, failing to consider these factors can adversely affect your ability  to have the beautiful style you want. Jen encourages brides to consider how weather and climate could affect your hair and then pick a style that will fair well in those conditions. She even considers going to your venue or outdoor space where you are getting married at a similar time of day to see how your hair reacts so that you can plan accordingly.

I think that hairstyles need to suit each and every person to make them feel comfortable. It’s bad enough you want to put them in the same dress, why do you want to put them in the same hairdo?

How to wear two hairstyles at your wedding

There may be more than one hairstyle that looks amazing on you or that you want to have during your wedding. How do you choose between two different styles? Jen says that you don’t have to. You can have two different styles at your wedding. It may require your stylist staying for the entire event, or you may use the skills of a bridesmaid who is really great at doing hair. Choose a style for the wedding that can be relatively easily changed before you go to the reception. Listen as Jen gives more tips for how to have great wedding hair and incorporate two different styles on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

Photo by Eloise Ambursley

Great wedding hair that looks like you

As with almost every aspect of planning a wedding, there are multiple decisions that go into planning your wedding hair. Do you want to wear a veil? If so what style and length? Will you do an updo or wear your hair down? How early do you start planning and what steps do you need to take to prepare your hair to be in the best shape possible for the wedding? Jen addresses all of these topics and more during this episode. The main takeaway is to pick a hairstyle that accurately reflects your personality and style. Don’t wear your hair in a way that is unnatural or uncommon for you. Listen to all 10 steps to great wedding hair on the Bridechilla podcast.

Photo by Eloise Ambursley​

Jen's Best Hair Blogs

15 HAIRSTYLES FOR YOUR WINTER WEDDING
A round up of 15 stunning hair ideas to compliment the snowy backdrops and furry cover-ups.
DIY – BEADED SOMETHING BLUE HAIR PIN
This super sweet idea would be a darling detail to wear in your hair on your wedding day and any day after…
WEDDING HAIR TIPS // BRIDAL HEADBANDS
Jen shares her professional hair stylist tips with you on wearing gorgeous headbands as part of your wedding day hair style.
WEDDING HAIR TIPS // FULL FRINGE (BANGS)
Tips for incorporating your full fringe/bangs into your wedding day hairstyle

Download and print Jen's top Ten Hair tips

Photo by Cinematic Imagery

If you know that you want a specific hairstyle, there is gonna be a color or a way that your stylist can color your hair to make that style look the best.

Show Highlights

  • [0:35] Introduction of Jen Causey, founder of Something Turquoise who joins the Bridechilla podcast to talk about the 10 steps to having great wedding hair.

  • [4:52] Jen shares stories of some of the best and worst moments of doing hair for weddings.

  • [6:32] What styles were a bad decision on behalf of the bride

  • [8:35] Beginning with step one, Jen breaks down how to be on your way to great wedding hair.

  • [9:58] Making a color plan with your stylist so that your desired hairstyle will look the best as possible.

  • [12:44] For people getting married outside, consider how the weather and climate will affect your hair and make a plan

  • [15:46] In order to have great hair for your wedding, do a trial run with your stylist, including all of the accessories.

  • [23:04] Tip number six is about the type and frequency of using conditioner in your hair prior to your wedding.

  • [26:42] For those who can’t decide between two hairstyles, Jen describes a way you can have two hairstyles for your wedding.

  • [28:54] How clean or dirty should your hair be on your wedding day so that you have the best looking hair possible?

  • [32:26] Should you wear a veil at your wedding or not? Or is there something else special you can wear in your hair?

  • [36:10] When choosing a hairstyle, do you go for something unique and different, or go with a style that you normally wear?

Listen to episode 370 of The Bridechilla Podcast

Meet Jen, This Episode’s Guest

Jen Causey has been working in the wedding industry for over 12 years as a mobile hairdresser and DIY wedding crafter. In 2011, she created Something Turquoise, a blog committed to inspiring brides to hand-make something for their wedding. Noticing DIY wedding projects other blogs were sharing and realizing that the tips and steps being provided were either too difficult for the average bride – or simply wouldn’t turn out the way it was photographed – led to Jen creating and sharing DIY tutorials. She creates tutorials with all the instruction a bride needs to make a beautiful, meaningful, handmade craft.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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369- Q&A with One Fab Day

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Celina and Claire from The One Fab Day Wedding Podcast  and blog, join Aleisha to answer the Bridechilla Communities wedding planning questions. They talk about picking colors, finding mix and match bridesmaid dresses, when to negotiate for better prices, and how to deal with your racist/bigoted/outspoken about everything family members at your wedding. Listen to hear that and much more on this week’s Bridechilla podcast. 

Listen to episode 369 of Bridechilla

How to pick colors for your wedding

The colors you choose for your wedding are important because they will determine your wedding party’s outfits, flowers, and other decor options for your wedding and reception. So how do you determine your color pallette? Claire and Celina suggest starting with the kind of day you are having and the type of venue and let that guide your color choices. They also suggest considering how creative you might be and what kind of risk you are willing to take with unique or different colors. Hear more advice from Claire and Celina about choosing the perfect colors for your wedding during this podcast.

I wouldn’t say start with the color pallette, I’d say think about what kind of day your having and what kind of venue you have and work from there

Mix and match bridesmaids dresses

While it is still common for bridesmaids to all have the same style and color of dress, there is also the option of allowing the bridesmaids to have different dresses. Remember, your wedding is all about what you want and what makes you happy, so there is no tradition or rule that must be followed. Mixing and matching dresses can help create a custom look for your wedding. So how can you help your bridesmaids pick out dresses that will be complimentary in both style and color? Claire and Celina suggest Bridechillas give freedom with guidelines on styles, colors and lengths. They also encourage considering brands that have already curated mix and match dress collections. 

Photo by Alora Griffiths

Taking care of the children

There is nothing cuter in a wedding than having kids be a part. However, there is a risk that comes with involving children. They can be unpredictable, cranky and loud. Bridechilla Stacy wants to know the best ways to manage the many kids that will be at and in her wedding. Suggestions discussed include making sure the children are well rested, not to high on sugar, and having activities to keep them occupied when they don’t have specific tasks. Remember that kids also typically respond well to tasks, so keep them busy and help them stay out of trouble. If you are considering having kids play a role in your wedding, or if you know many of your wedding party guests will have kids, be sure to listen to this episode for some great tips on how to make that experience a pleasant one.

Photo by Edgar Chaparro

Do you need a 'racist corner' at your wedding?

There are few events with more potential to mix diverse cultures and generations that a wedding. Many times brides and grooms will invite both an older generation of family members along with a younger generation of friends. This can cause some uncomfortable situations, especially if some of your guests are intolerant to different lifestyles. Claire and Celina talk about how the implemented a racist corner to help eliminate some of the negativity. In order to ensure that best possible wedding without unnecessary conflict, it is best to consider how to deal with these types of issues before the big day. Listen to this episode of the Bridechilla podcast to hear more about that and many other topics that will help you plan the wedding you have always wanted.

We do always say about wedding that it’s best to leave your gripes at the door.

Helpful Articles from One Fab Day

Wedding Colour Palettes

Having a spring or seasonal wedding and need inspiration on a colour palette? Look no further, we've got collections on the most beautiful wedding colour combinations and latest trends from pretty pastels to bold and glamorous colours.

How to Mix & Match Bridesmaids' Dresses
Tips for chic, modern bridesmaids with individual style

How to Manage Children at Weddings
An Essential Guide Having little ones at your wedding? We've a few tips on how to make it the best day ever for them!

Why Are Weddings So Expensive?
A real talk explanation

How To Find The Best Wedding Suppliers (And Get The Best Service)
Your essential guide to working with wedding professionals

Wedding Planners, Stylists & Coordinators; What's The Difference?
The wedding professionals who'll ensure your day runs smoothly

How To Make Sure Your Wedding Morning is Calm & Relaxed
Have the best morning ever

Photo by Annie Spratt 

Listen to episode 369 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

  • [0:17] Introduction of guests Claire and Celina, founders of OneFabDay.com and the One Fab Day podcast.

  • [2:22] Because her venue doesn’t have a staff, Bridechilla Shaleen wants to know who she should get to help clean up since there is another wedding the next day?

  • [5:18] How do you choose the colors you want for you wedding?

  • [8:21] Managing mismatched bridesmaids dresses

  • [12:56] Bridechilla Stacy will have a lot of kids at her wedding and wants to know how to give them activities to entertain them and how to get them to cooperate with their role in the wedding.

  • [22:09] Which wedding vendors and/or items are price-negotiable?

  • [25:51] How can you maintain your energy during the wedding if you are usually low-energy and in bed early?

  • [28:48] If you have an outdoor venue and the weather isn’t favorable, how do you notify your wedding guests that the wedding has moved indoors?

  • [31:19] How to deal with close-minded guests who might be negative about LGBTQ guests or other issues.

  • [37:16] Claire and Celina share what is coming up with the One Fab Day podcast.

Meet This Episode’s Guests

Clair and Celina are the Editors of the online magazine OneFabDay.com. They also recently started a Podcast dedicated to helping brides plan their wedding day, The One Fab Day Wedding Podcast, Based in Dublin and London, they cover every aspect of weddings, from ring shopping to table-planning etiquette. One Fab Day is one of the biggest wedding resources in the world, committed to giving honest advice and practical tips to brides every step of the way.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Lucija Ros 

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Let’s Talk About Sex with Caitlin and Michael Doemner

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Want to talk about sex? On this episode of the Bridechilla Podcast we are going to do just that. Guests Caitlin and Michael Doemner join the show to talk about their book Sex Every Day and how they developed a way to prioritize pleasure in their marriage. Busy lives, hectic schedules, unhealthy attitudes and negative past experiences hinder an active and pleasurable sex life. Cailin and Michael share tips for how to open up the conversation and get on the road to a better sex life.

Listen to episode 368 of Bridechilla

Removing barriers that prevent conversations about sex

When two people join in marriage, they each bring their own set of histories and expectations to the marriage, and particularly to the bedroom. It can be difficult to get on the same page in regard to sex. The first step is to have open communication with each other about your wants and desires. However, talking about sex can be awkward. One unique way that Caitlin suggests to start the conversation is by coming up with a menu. Couples can talk about what they would like each day by discussing what they want from the menu. Using creative conversation starters can help remove some of the barriers that stand in the way of healthy communication about sex.

One thing that has been really helpful for us, inside of our bedroom, letting go of that right/wrong, good/bad languaging and instead saying “more or less pleasurable"

How to have sex everyday

Caitlin and Michael have sex everyday. But having sex doesn’t always have to involve intercourse. It is more about experiencing intimacy with your partner everyday. Even when one person might feel tired or sick, there are still opportunities to express and experience intimacy with one another. The key to sex everyday is to prioritize pleasure within the marriage. Listen to this episode to hear great advice for how to do that and much more.

Photo by Autri Taheri 

Better sex begins with better conversations

In some traditions and backgrounds, talking about sex is taboo. Some religious traditions associate sex with shame. But if you can’t talk about it with your partner, how will you ever know how to serve and please one another? Couples should seek to create a safe place where sex can be talked about openly. Removing the right/wrong or good/bad language from the conversation can help alleviate shame from the conversation. With time and practice you’ll eventually see progress in your communication and participation with sex.

One of the things that Caitlin and I base our lives on is radical personal responsibility and really just owning every piece of your life.

What are your sex goals?

When it comes to sex or any other aspect of your relationship, how do you define success? Zig Ziglar says, “If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.” Having goals in marriage will help your relationship progress to greater intimacy and pleasure. The first goal should be to prioritize your spouse, considering their wants and needs above your own. Michael and Caitlin talk about their commitment to radical personal responsibility. They also discuss how intentionality fuels intimacy in marriage. Hear all about that and much more on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

Photo by Matheus Ferrero 

Download the 'Sex Every Day' Menu

Listen to episode 368 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

  • [0:40] Introduction of guests Caitlin and Michael Doemner, authors of Sex Every Day

  • [3:37] Michael and Caitlin talk about how they started off in their marriage and how they approached the conversation of sex.

  • [7:44] What led to writing a book about sex?

  • [11:59] How to overcome the times when you don’t have the energy to pursue intimacy with your partner.

  • [15:16] Success in marriage begins by being intentional about investing time and energy in your relationship.

  • [22:43] Our background and personal history affects the way we deal with sex in marriage.

  • [28:13] Recognizing where your perception and perspective comes from in regard to what is right and wrong about sex

  • [34:13] How to connect with Caitlin and Michael and the communities they offer for coaching and help.  

Meet Caitlin & Michael Doemner 

Caitlin & Michael Doemner met in high school... but they went their own ways after graduation. They reconnected and got married in 2008 with Michael's six year old son as a groomsman. They have been happily married for over ten years and have continued to have sex every day, despite having three more babies and building several successful businesses together!

In their new book Sex Every Day Caitlin & Michael share the 3-step process they use to prioritize sex in their marriage. You can purchase their book at www.SexEveryDayBook.com

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Toa Heftiba

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367- Reshaping Marriage for Skeptics, Realists and Rebels

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, Susan Pease Gadoua and Vicki Larson  talk about their book “The New I Do: Reshaping marriage for skeptics, realists and rebels.” Many couples spend a great deal of time planning the wedding day without giving a lot of thought to what happens after the event ends. The reality is, after the wedding the real work of being married begins. Marriage takes work and can often be difficult. Both people bring their own history, expectations and baggage to a marriage. How can you have a successful marriage? And what exactly is the measure of success in marriage? Susan, Vicki and Aleisha discuss all of that and much more during this episode. 

Listen to episode 367 of Bridechilla

What is a normal marriage?

Everyone has their own idea of what a marriage could or should look like. Often, this vision of marriage is more of a fairy tale than reality. There are also societal constructs that have imposed a definition of a normal marriage. As the time and ethos changes around the world, perhaps it is time for a new, better definition of what a normal marriage looks like. And perhaps the reality is that there is no such thing as normal. Every individual and couple is different and can define normal in different ways. During this episode, guests Susan Pease Gadoua and Vicki Larson encourage couples to ignore the social demands and determine for themselves the type of marriage that works for them.

We just want people to have more conversations going in and more conversations throughout the marriage about what each wants from the marriage and from each other.

How to have a successful marriage

No one gets married hoping it will fail. Most couples get married with the age-old phrase “Til death do us part” as the goal for their marriage. While being married for life is a great aspiration, what if that doesn’t work for some couples. People change over time. Priorities and personalities can shift. Success in a marriage may not mean til death due us part. Could it be that some marriages are a success if they last only for a season of time? This podcast will encourage couples to evaluate their definition of success and avoid being overwhelmed by the pressure of a lifelong partnership. 

Photo by Alex Holyoake

What is a prenup and should you have one?

You have probably heard about prenuptial agreements between wealthy or famous couples. But what exactly is a prenuptial agreement and should you have one in place before you get married? While it can sound like a backup plan to the marriage actually working, Susan and Vicki argue that prenups create an open door for important conversations to happen before the wedding. They can be used as a roadmap or marital plan that will help you think through how you will deal with life’s big decisions together. Hear their reasons for considering a prenup during this interview.

What we would really like to see is couples to realize that they can individualize their marriage so that they can decide what will be a successful marriage for them. Ane when more people start realizing that you’ll start to see more happy couples

Marrying consciously

Vicki and Susan write in their book “The New I Do” that 10% of first marriages don’t make it past the fifth year. What is the cause of these short term marriages? Vicki and Susan encourage couples to marry more consciously by asking the question why. Why do you want to get married? What is your motivation? Determining why you want to get married will help reveal some of the overt and covert pressures that can come from society and family about the need to be married and how the marriage should function. It can also help couples decide what model of marriage will work best for them. Listen to this episode to hear about that and so much more on the Bridechilla podcast episode 367 with guests Susan Pease Gadoua and Vicki Larson

Photo by sept commercial 

Listen to episode 367 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

  • [0:31] Aleisha introduces guests Susan Peace Gadoua and Vicki Larson who wrote “The New I Do” and discusses the new realities of marriage
  • [2:47] The interview begins with how Susan and Vicki started writing their book
  • [5:48] Is “‘til death do us part” the only marker of a successful marriage?
  • [8:16} vicki tells the story of her parent’s relationship and how they took a nontraditional approach to their marriage.
  • [12:20] There are many different forms of marriage yet the traditional mindset remains. How can that mindset be shifted?
  • [16:06} What are prenuptial agreements and how can they be beneficial when getting married?
  • [21:26} How can you start the conversation with your partner about expectations and wants about the marriage?
  • [28:55] Vicki and Susan talk about marrying more consciously.
  • [32:00] Why do people get married at all? Why don’t we just live together? And what do they mean by occupy marriage?
  • [34:45] Rather than just planning a perfect wedding day, you should consider how it’s going to work after the wedding day.
  • [38:54] Where Vicki and Susan stand on marriage after writing the book and what they hope to see for the future of marriage. 

Meet This Episode’s Guests

Susan Pease Gadoua is a licensed therapist in the San Francisco area. She specializes in helping couples, connect, reconnect, or disconnect. She has written several books about marriage and divorce and has been published in The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, the Washington Post and a host of other publications. She has also appeared on the CBS Early Show and A View From the Bay. 

Vicki Larson is an award winning journalist, freelance writer and blogger from the San Francisco Bay area. She has been featured in The Huffington Post, ModernMom.com and many other publications. She is the mother of two young men and has been divorced twice. 

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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