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Vanessa and Chad’s Intimate DIY Destination South African Wedding

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Bridechilla, Vanessa and Chad were married at the Chelaya Country Lodge in Somerset West, Cape Town, South Africa. They took on the rather daunting task of DIYing their wedding and in this Bridechilla Graduate post, Vanessa shares her best DIY Wedding tips and is very candid about the highs and lows of wedding planning andthe journey they undertook to ditch traditions and all of the extra 'things' that they thought they needed to plan a wedding and instead plan two week wedding celebration with 25 of their family and friends. 

Describe your event in 10 words or less.

​DIY-tastic, imperfect-perfection, FUN, heartfelt, OURS.

What was the theme/vibe/feels of your wedding?

Though Pinterest still tried to sneak its way in and lead me astray, we planned two weeks of adventures in South Africa (just because) for 25 friends and family.
A week drinking wine and getting married near Cape Town and a week on safari in Kruger. We explored Cape Town together, we went wine-tasting, we went on safari and one sunny afternoon we got married in the garden of the cute old farmhouse we were all staying in! We had a 2pm ceremony, an afternoon picnic and an evening sit-down dinner.
I have lived overseas my entire adult life, moving often, so missed the whole 'wedding phase' which actually turned out to be a blessing. I came into this with no preconceived ideas of what a wedding 'should' be. I soon realised, that aside from a couple of key legal sentences it would be whatever we wanted which was incredibly liberating!

What was your wedding budget?

We spent max $18,000 for international flights, one week in the Cape Winelands (not incl. the second week of safari), accommodation for all our guests and absolutely everything for the wedding. My point here is that you CAN do something amazing with a small(er) amount of money if you’re willing to think outside the box.

Our priorities were, not blowing a fuck ton of money, doing as much as we could ourselves so we felt like we created our own day rather than just rock up to someone else's design, lots of good food and wine, a relaxed vibe and a real feeling of intimacy and love!

What did you learn from DIYing most of the day?

​Only get stuck into DIY if it’s something you enjoy and you’re doing it for personal satisfaction. I am very creative (not skilled, just enjoy!) and we did EVERYTHING ourselves and with the help of family and friends: my Mum made my dress, my FIL made our ring box, I made the cake, me and my girls did all the flowers, I made the boutonnieres (sea glass, a little nod to our lives as a scuba instructors), my husband made an entire tabletop for our picnic, we did our own picnic food, wrote our own playlists, made all our own stationary/signage, built a tepee etc. etc. etc. I had the luxury of time during this planning process: if you don’t, limit yourself to fewer projects or there’s every chance you’ll lose your mind

We learned that it was the ‘little things’ that our guests loved and appreciated the most: handmade cards with personalized ‘love letters’ to be read during the ceremony, love quote cards at each person’s place at dinner, hand painted welcome tote bags, home-made (elephant-shaped!) cookies. All the things that cost next to nothing! You don’t need to spend mega bucks to warm someone’s heart.

If DIY is not your thing, I still suggest finding just a couple of little things to tackle yourself/with your families to make the event your own. Nothing about our day was picture perfect/Pinterest-worthy but I am so proud of what we created together and it means the world to me that others got involved and did so much for us. My Mum put in literally a thousand hours researching and making my dress: that’s worth more than anything I could ever buy in the fanciest store!

 I surprised Chad with a love song I wrote for him and we wrote individual love letters for our guests on handmade cards which they opened during the ceremony.

Favorite part of your wedding day

Hands down, the ceremony. We both felt people forget about this part and, really, it's the most important part of the whole event. We had every guest in tears. We wrote the entire thing ourselves. I surprised Chad with a love song I wrote for him and we wrote individual love letters for our guests on handmade cards which they opened during the ceremony.

And your second favorite part of your wedding day...

The Silent disco!
SO. MUCH. FUN. If you have a small group and are not sure how the evening will progress – will they dance, will it be a party – SILENT DISCO is your friend! This was one of the best choices we made and it turned a very pleasant evening into an absolute BLAST! And a 4am blinder for many of our guests. It was a gamble, we had no idea what the vibe would be, come evening but as soon as one guest discovered it, that was it, everyone went crazy!

What was totally worth it?

​I put in so much time and energy but it was totally worth it to me as I am creative and found huge satisfaction in it. It's actually leading me down a new career path as an elopement planner hopefully! Some of the simplest details like the love letters for guests were very much worth the effort, they were so appreciated. The multiple cake trials: worth it!

Photography: this was our relative ‘splurge’ and we’re so glad. We asked for lots of candids and they are our absolute favourites, not the posed ‘perfect’ ones. We also paid for a one hour shoot the day after at sunset. This was a fabulous time to get the amazing landscape shots we dreamed of: no hair, no makeup, just the wild ocean. We also took the opportunity to share our vows with each other a second time to really absorb them peacefully. And, my biggest advice for photography, wait for your photos and get them at a time when you and your spouse can sit and enjoy them together. We asked our photographer to wait ten weeks and to send them to us on a specific day when we knew we would be free together. By this stage, the madness had passed, we were back to ‘normal’ and looking through them and reliving everything was just beautiful. Fight the urge for instant gratification: it’s worth the wait!

What was not worth it?

My regrets! Making choices too soon and succumbing to Pinterest: I spent $200 on fucking robes very early on simply because ‘that’s what one does’. My girls aren’t the robe wearing sorts AT ALL.
Fortunately, this was a one-off mistake and all future choices were made without the ‘help’ of Pinterest. My one real regret is not thinking to film the ceremony, at least on a GoPro. I didn’t want a videographer and am happy with that choice but some truly beautiful words were spoken at our ceremony – by our siblings and our parents – and I would love to hear them again and really absorb them.

Stay away from Pinterest, fancy wedding blogs etc. Nothing about your day 'should' be anything.

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?

Everything. The best advice I heard on Bridechilla was to throw the whole damn wedding in, then pull out the parts you and your future spouse actually want. For us, a lot stayed in: speeches, formal dances, cutting of the cake (just eat the damn thing!), being 'given away' (we walked in together), matchy matchy expensive bridal party outfits (girls: short white dress, guys: grey pants, white shirt).

Do not do anything just so you can get a nice photo and show it off on Facebook! 

What advice do you have for other couples planning their weddings?

"Comparison is the thief of joy". Stay away from Pinterest, fancy wedding blogs etc. Nothing about your day 'should' be anything.
This is tough but I tried to have stern words with myself during the planning process and stay honest with myself: do not do anything just so you can get a nice photo and show it off on Facebook! That is your ego at work. If there wasn't ever going to a photo of it, would you still do it? If the answer is no, STOP doing it and focus your energies elsewhere.

How did Bridechilla help you plan your wedding?

Saved my sanity, truly. I love remotely and was planning a destination wedding so I had a very limited support network. The Chillas were my virtual bridesmaids! And a phenomenal sounding board to figure out details and keep the Pinterest monsters at bay.

Which Bridechilla resources did you use when planning your wedding?

The Bridechilla Podcast, The Bridechilla Blog, Bridechilla Community on Facebook

Biggest lessons learned from wedding planning

If at all possible, extend the event to more than a few hours: a weekend or more if you can! For us, the day itself was magical but everything either side was just as special and allowed us to spend so much time with loved ones. It made the months and months of effort all seem worthwhile.

  • Small weddings are just as much work as bigger weddings! You still need to go through all the same stages of planning, you still need to find all the same vendors etc. However, the true beauty of a small wedding is on the day itself: you have time! Time to relax, time to chat to everyone, time to make memories, time to have fun. At no stage did my husband and I feel rushed or like time was passing by too quickly.
  • Put time and energy into your ceremony. It was our favourite part of the day, hands down. I smiled so much my face hurt and I have never felt so enveloped in love in my life! Don’t be scared to make it your own. We wrote it ourselves and had our siblings officiate. We walked down the ‘aisle’/garden path together as my BIL played guitar. We sat for the majority of the ceremony, standing just for our vows. We all had drinks before, during, and after! We had our parents share their marriage advice. And, my favourite part, I surprised my husband with a song I had written for him. We live on a small boat and work together 24/7 so I was so happy I could keep this one little thing a secret!
  • Fight the pressure for perfection! Easier said than done, I know. We all succumb to it. I worried about my skin, about my squint teeth, about my bazillion smile lines. It turns out I only wore one earring for about half the day, my hair was hanging messily around my face from dancing too hard! All those imperfections are staring back at me in the photos but, truly, all I see now is HAPPINESS! I’m NOT perfect, you’re not perfect and THAT’S OK coz we ARE all awesome!

Planning a destination Wedding- How did you connect with vendors?

If, like us, you are finding all your own vendors – especially from afar - absolutely trust your gut. For me, communication is key and if I didn’t immediately get the right vibe via e-mail it was a firm NO. I did a ton or research, reached out to so many people and ended up with the most incredible team. People we'd never met till the week before made our day more than we ever dreamed of.

I loved planning, absolutely thrived on it, and planned every last detail of our entire two-week event. I can’t lie: it was so much work. If it brings you pleasure like it did me, great! If it doesn’t, and it’s in your budget, hire a planner. The whole process of the wedding should be HAPPY, not just the day itself. It really saddens me how many Chillas are bogged down by problems, stress and drama. If you’re unhappy, it’s in your power to change it. I know it may not be easy, but you can do it.

For me, wedding planning was life-changing. It brought me huge pleasure, taught me new skills, revealed new passions. I have plans slowly formulating to start my own elopement company.

For those still planning, the very best advice I heard here… Throw the whole wedding in the Fuck It Bucket. The whole damn thing! Now, start pulling out the things you and your partner actually WANT!

HAPPY DAYS!

Vanessa and Chad's Rockstar Vendors


Photographer: stellasassen.co.za
Rentals: Goeters: www.baiegoeters.co.za
Private Chef: Flying Pan: www.flyingpan.co.za
Silent Disco: White Noise: www.whitenoise.co.za

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Exquisite Cabo Wedding with a Donkey and Maracas!

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Chicagoans Henry and Joelle, escaped the snow and headed to San Jose Del Cabo, Mexico to celebrate their wedding celebrations with 130 of their friends and family.
When Henry and I decided to have a destination wedding – far away from the winter snow– we knew it had to San Jose Del Cabo, Mexico. When else could we gather all our family and friends from across the United States, vacation in the sun for more than a day? We wanted to have more time to celebrate and enjoy than just the day of our wedding! Call us selfish.

The secret to Planning a Destination Wedding...GETTING HELP!

We knew that we needed someone local to help us create the weekend that we wanted to have for our guests. We hit the jackpot when we were introduced to Lauren Lemke at Amy Abbott Events. She went above and beyond in listening to what had in mind and showing us the different options available and assembled a dream team of vendors! She answered us at all hours of the night from emails to texts. Even agreed to set up a WebEx so we were able to share screens even though she was miles away in much warmer climate.

The minute we got to Mexico – all our work was done. We didn’t have to worry about anything because Lauren had everything under control! We spent the days before the wedding hanging at the pool and having quality time with our guests.

Planning a weekend of Celebrations 

The festivities began on Thursday night where we took a crew aged 24-64 to the bars in Cabo San Lucas. It was a blast! It was worth the trip because it was touristy fun for everyone to see the crazy nightlife and mingle before the wedding. Our guests won’t ever forget the Groom being hung upside at Giggling Marlin and the bride dancing in cage with her brothers and cousins at Squid Roe.

Friday night rehearsal dinner was perfect intimate venue for our big family to listen toasts and roasts. A nice surprise was the singer playing acoustic guitar and singing classics. My cousin gave an impromptu performance Sea of Love by Cat Power. After the rehearsal dinner we met the rest of our guests were by the fire pit.

Saturday came before we both knew it! Henry spent the day playing in the waves while I glammed with my friends. Henry surprised me with a bouquet of flowers and monogrammed pajamas and he was delivered a menu to select our dinner for Sunday.

Our wedding at Flora Farms what everything we wanted and more! Looking back at our photos – we were grinning from ear to ear the whole time. Things are never perfect but our day was as close to perfect as we could imagine.

And now we have an excuse to escape Chicago every February in Mexico!

How did you meet, and how long did you date before getting engaged?

Henry and I met ten years before our first date. Freshman year at St. Mary’s College of California far from my home in Chicago and his home in Montana. We don’t remember meeting but over the next ten years our paths undoubtedly crossed multiple times, having mutual friends at a small college, spending a full semester working a across the hall from each other at different internships, and living it up in San Francisco after college. We even moved to Chicago the same month in 2013.

We finally noticed each other over the most romantic weekend of the year in Chicago-–Saint Patrick’s Day Weekend. The timing was perfect because two years to the day later, we were engaged!

Who proposed? When and how?

On a cold Friday evening the night before St. Patrick’s Day (two years after we both caught each other’s eye) Henry insisted that we have dinner in the suburbs near my parents because he was working late. Leaving for work that morning I had an inkling that maybe something was up so I brought my cute coat. By the end of the day when it was time to take the train to the suburbs – I grabbed my big ugly puffy coat because all day my parents and Henry threw me off by being grumpy towards me! There definitely was not a surprise engagement party waiting for me in the burbs.

We walked to dinner, and Henry kept going to the bathroom and he was not paying attention to me! So I thought for sure – nothing is happening. No one is treating me special.

When the waiter asked if we wanted dessert (which I always get) Henry told them – no we are good. I pouted and thought when we get to my parents I’m going straight to bed. I was happy I had my warm puffy coat to walk home.

As we walked towards my parents house I saw that in the windows it said “Will you Marry Me” in lights. Henry got down on one knee and started to recite a poem. He couldn’t get through it because I was screaming and jumping up and down. My parents and brothers were hiding in the bushes and my mom started screaming too. We must have looked crazy – I don’t think Henry expected the sheer amount of excitement. We went inside popped the champagne and called our close family and friends!

How did you choose your wedding venue?

My family has been vacationing in Cabo for the past 10 years, and a few years ago someone mentioned Flora Farms to my foodie parents. They were intrigued and went to check it out. They absolutely loved it and made a point to take us there the next time we were in town with them. Henry and I were only a year into dating, but after having dinner there we turned to each other and said “how incredible would it be to get married here?!?!” The food was amazing, the farm grounds are magical and we just felt like it was the place for us. The farm also features some awesome animals; ducks, turtles, farm kitties, and few well-fed farm dogs. Henry is a huge animal lover so that alone was almost enough for him!

Almost exactly a year later, we were engaged, and our first location visit was to Flora Farms. Because we had both gone to school in California and lived there for eight years, and Henry being from Montana, we have a lot of friends spread throughout the Midwest and west coast. We figured that a lot of people would have to travel to our wedding regardless, so why not bring them on a February vacation to Cabo? We wavered a bit – and my Mom just told me – if you want to have it there- do it! We booked the mango grove after our initial walkthrough and the rest, as they say, is history.

Did you incorporate any religious and/or cultural traditions into your ceremony?

Due to the international travel, our grandparents were not able to travel for the ceremony. They were, however, represented at the ceremony – three prayers which were hand-picked by our grandmothers were read at the altar! We spoke to the same vows that our grandparents swore to each other with hope that our marriage will stand the test of time just like theirs did.

Did you do a “first look” before the ceremony?

No! We did a few things very traditionally, including no first look. Henry and I did not see each other from Friday night until I came around the corner and headed toward the aisle at Flora Farms…it made for a very special moment.

Tell us About Your Reception: What color scheme did you choose and why?

The farm and venue had such natural beauty, so we chose our bridesmaid dresses and suits to compliment the scenery Pink and Navy Blue. For the décor we stayed with neutrals and mixed metallic. At work – our design rationale is timeless design – so we tried to stick to simple and classic. My mom and I worked with Lauren to make sure that everything fit with what we had imagined.

What did you use as your escort cards and/or place cards?

We attached our escort cards to our favor – the maracas

What were your wedding favors?

Maracas! My mom really wanted it as a Mexican Flavor! Our guests loved it and it was a perfect dance accessory.

What was your biggest splurge of the day?

When we decided we wanted to get married at Flora Farms- we knew that we wanted our family and friends to fall in love with it as much as we did. When planning the one thing we had debated on were the tables – there is cost savings round vs. farm tables. We went back and forth, crunched the numbers and at the end of the day we decided to go with what we wanted.

The donkey was a last minute add- Henry has a love for animals and thought it would be a great surprise for our guests. It was hard for me to keep it a secret from everyone so leading up to the wedding I would tell Lyft drivers and strangers that we were going to have a surprise donkey, so I could keep my promise to Henry.

How did you save on costs?

Vow to be Chic was a great option for our bridesmaids since they had to spend on travel and hotel. We used Black Tux for the grooms the grooms too which was affordable. I borrowed my veil and didn’t splurge on accessories for the day of.

We also debated doing a welcome party for our guests, but it was not in our budget. We were able to organize a champagne toast with our hotel and they were able to work with our budget.

What are some of the personal touches that you added to your celebration

Henry was really wanted to have some individually for each of his groomsmen. He found Argentine Luxury Leather Belts La Matera that had a pattern that matched with the suites and gave each groomsman their own pattern.

Lauren (our wedding planner) knew we wanted to have a sweetheart table since we wouldn’t have seen each other all day. She had a great idea to have a loveseat which made it great to be close to each other when we were seated!

We cut the cake with Henry’s Grandmother’s antique cake knives which made it all the more special since she couldn’t attend.

To memorialize the special day in our favorite place in the entire world – we engraved the latitude and longitude of Flora Farms in the inside of our bands.

Our nieces were Jr Bridesmaid. It was so special to have them there to get ready with us. My girlfriends (who always do my hair and makeup) did theirs. I loved sitting next to my nieces while my friend who did my make up in high school did my nieces.

Harry's bespoke Argentine Luxury Leather Belts


What were your 4 favorite moments of your wedding celebration?

1. When my dad walked me down the aisle and gave Henry a hug – He whispered – She is all yours. The mic caught it and everyone laughed. That was the first time we met Rev. Diego at the altar. We were grinning ear to ear the entire ceremony.

2. Henry wanted to plan a surprise dance. We did not practice as much as we should have – Henry walked in knowing more of the moves than I did. When we started our routine – we just went. We thought we had got it down and all the sudden we were still dancing, and the music stopped. It wasn’t perfect, but it was us!

3. Henry’s brothers speech quoted a song from the Grateful Dead which has special meaning to his family because his father was a lyricist for the Grateful Dead - “The heart has its beaches, it's homeland and thoughts of its own.” It really captured who we are as a couple – we are home together but we each let each other keep our individuality.

4.The Dancing! Seeing all of our family and friends from all sides dancing together and tearing it up on the dance floor. At one point two groomsmen tied their ties together and used it for limbo.

What did you learn from the experience?

The best investment we made was getting a wedding planner. Lauren was an all-star. As someone who manages projects and clients it was nice to be the client for once!

Working for a family business- we usually make everything a project. Having Lauren helped us relax and enjoy the wedding and not have to worry about the details and that made it enjoyable for not only our families but Henry and I. The whole wedding weekend my friends and family commented how relaxed we both were – and it was because we had the best wedding planner!

Our vendors really were responsible for what a great weekend it was. They helped us throw the party for our loved ones where everyone could really let their hair down and really enjoy themselves! We had a great team.

If you know what you want – just do it! Henry and I will always look back at it as one of the greatest time of our life.

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If you could sum up your wedding day in one sentence, how would you describe it?

Can we do it all over again?!

Joelle and Harry's Rockstar Vendors

Planner - Lauren Lemke with Amy Abbott- Amy Abbott Events
Photographer- Julia Franzosa
Venue- Flora Farms
Paper Goods - Papier Girl (invitations) / Bells & Whistles Cabo (wedding stationary)
Design and Decor- Let it Be Events
Makeup Artist- Neysa Berman- Blanc Bridal Salon
DJ- Alex DJ Cabo Events
Floral Designer- Lola at Florenta Flower Design
Bridesmaid Dresses- Jenny Yoo Collection
Dress Designer- Mignonette Bridal

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A burnt white wedding dress & broken heels! 10th vow renewal in Hawaii

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Chip and Nina where the ultimate Bridechilla and Groomchilla and didn’t let a burnt dress and a broken heel get in the way of celebrating their 10-year vow renewal in beautiful Hawaii. They kept calm and carried on celebrating with their family and beautiful children. 
Photographer Harold from Alvea Studios captured all of the drama, colour and joy of their very memorable vow renewal day.

We've heard of being prepared for anything but...

Imagine this…a wonderful decade of marriage has passed. You and your partner have been through a lot of unforgettable memories and checked off a bunch of items from your bucket lists. Now, you decide its time to renew your wedding vows. You plan ahead of time and book a flight to Hawaii with your closest relatives.

YOU ARE VERY EXCITED.

Fast forward to the big day – you wake up really early to prepare. Everything is going smoothly until you iron your dress and BURN it!

Yes, that gorgeous, white dress.

You try to fix it but nothing else can be done.

You think “this can be fixed with photoshop”.

You have a photo shoot scheduled before your ceremony. You are rushing because you are way behind your schedule. You meet your photographer and start walking. In literally just 10 seconds, your heels snapped.

It’s broken. “Are you kidding me?” is an understatement for what you really feel. Then, a bright ray of light suddenly shines on your peripheral view – it’s a ROSS dress for less store – and they are open

The iron burn in Nina's dress was a tiny blip in a joy filled day!

As luck would have it there was a ROSS store nearby!

If this happened to you, how would you handle it? 

This was what happened to Chip & Nina and hands down, they were one of the coolest couples I met. 
They managed to handle everything very patiently and gracefully. 
Nina just shook it off. It actually made the day extra special and memorable!

Exploring the colour and vibrancy of Kakaako 

We went for a walk in Kakaako, downtown Honolulu to take some shots on these amazing murals. It was very colorful just like their story. The ceremony was very intimate and emotional. It's just them and the ocean. You can really feel the love that binds their family. They trusted me to take photos and videos for this special day. Fun fact: it’s my birthday too! I feel very honored to have spent my day with this beautiful family and witness their love.

Celebrating with family with the tradition of the lei

Nina and Chip presented traditional Hawaiian lei to their family and children.
A lei is a common symbol of love, friendship, celebration, honor, or greeting. In other words, it is a symbol of Aloha.

Chip and Nina's Rockstar Vendors

Photographer and Videographer - Harold Alvea
Restaurant- Tommy Bahama Restaurant
Emergency shoes (!)- Ross Discount Store

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Kristofer and Natalie’s Non-Traditional, Jewel tone Scottish Wedding

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Inspired by 'badass Chillas' Bridechilla Natalie and Kris decided to ditch tradition and make their DIY, Scottish wedding day all about them including details of all the things they love, like Disney, Harry Potter and their family!

Tell us a little about you and your partner!

​Myself and Kristofer met October 2010 we got engaged June 2011 - He proposed to me where we had our very first date... our local pub! We both love to watch films, eat food, long hill walks and most of all be silly together. We have a mutual love of all things Disney, Christmas and cats (we have 4).

Tell us all about your event!

​Our wedding was exactly what we wanted it to be... US.

We aren't your typical bride and groom. Kristofer wanted to wear his family clan tartan (Murray) and with that we decided to have all the best men in their own clan kilts.

I knew a white wedding dress want for me so I decided to go big nude skirt (with a hidden black layer) and a black low back lace top. I knew I wanted the bridesmaids in velvet floor length dresses.

What inspired your wedding aesthetic and design

​Our inspiration for our wedding was seeing all the badass chillas doing what was them. We wanted the day to not just be about us but about our loved ones as they are apart of our relationship as they have helped us and somewhat made who we are today.

We got married on a Sunday so we decided to have one large oval table and have a Sunday roast beef (which was FAB) we decided not to pressure anyone into speeches so we had an open speech table that worked out great! Our priorities for the day was to make sure we slow down and enjoy every moment and of course to dance all night.

What was your favourite moment from your celebration?

My favorite part of the day was walking down the aisle and seeing his face knowing that today marks the day of me becoming his wife. We wanted our family and close friends to feel part of our wedding so we decided to do oathing stones where all the guests and family's join us in our vows and help set our vows in stone.

I decided I wanted to put a lot of work into our wedding to make it more special, with that I decided to make my own bouquet and the bridesmaids lanterns, a rather large backdrop, Harry potter card holder, welcome signs, Bride/Bridesmaids jackets, table names - Flowers and Disney names for the women and star wars names and Lego figures for men and most evening decorations

What was not worth it?

​The stress before hand! I am super glad I didn't spend a fortune on my wedding outfit too!

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?

​Chair covers! Travel bus, Canapes, favors - we decided to donate to 2 of our close to heart charities rather than a chocolate or drink) and flowers for mothers (we decided to whisk them away for a weekend rather than spend £60-80 on flowers)

What advice do you have for other couples planning their weddings?

Please don't stress over the little things, don't listen to other people's opinions just be yourself and don't worry everything will turn out just right as at the end of the day you will walk home a married person.

How did Bridechilla help you plan your wedding?

​The Bridechilla Community helped me do what I wanted to do and not to listen to others! I cannot thank the community enough for the help and support!

Which Bridechilla resources did you use when planning your wedding?

​
The Bridechilla Podcast, The Bridechilla Blog, Bridechilla Community on Facebook, Bridechilla Wedding Directory, Bridechilla Survival Guide, Bridechilla Field Guide

Kris and Natalie's Rockstar Vendors

Photographer-  David Ruff
Skirt - 1000Love on Etsy
Cake - Bumblebee Bakehouse (Paisley)
Kilts - Houston Kiltmakers
DJ was Kristofer's Dads friend Wallace
Ceilidh band - Loudon Ceilidh Band
And the amazing Scott & Hannah at House for an Art lover

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Stacey and Ryan’s Intimate Vintage Mountain Wedding

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

​Ryan and I have been together for 7 years. We met at a party at my parents' house after my stepdad hired him for his first job out of college. After that summer, we both went back to school in different states and decided to stay long-distance between Texas and Oklahoma to see where things went. I just kept thinking to myself that I would stay in this relationship as long as it made me happy and not worry about the future!
After a couple of years, I decided to move back to New Mexico to be with Ryan and my family. We moved in together, got a dog, and loved traveling and playing board games with friends.
When Ryan got a job in Colorado we faced a turning point in our relationship. We made the decision to stay committed to each other and he proposed on an Alaskan cruise with the 7-year-old map he had drawn to my parents' house from the night we met. We both moved up to Colorado and have been enjoying camping, hiking, and skiing in the mountains.

Designer Stacey designed their invitation suite Aspen Scribe

We ditched the Pinterest Board and Started from Scratch

Like every couple, we really wanted the day to feel like our own. I had a whole Pinterest board before we got engaged, but I chucked it out the window because it was all rustic with lace and mason jars—and I felt like I was planning somebody else's wedding (no hate on that theme; it's beautiful). And we started from scratch. Making the decision to get married in Colorado was hard because that meant both families would have to travel, but we decided to do what was right for us—and we wanted the mountain venue!

Navigating the challenges of planning a big event as introverts

One of our biggest priorities (and challenges) was keeping the day intimate. As introverts, neither of us wanted to stand in front of a crowd of people we only knew half of. We chose our venue because of the slightly smaller size, and saved money by choosing a Friday date. We also decided that kids (save our nieces) weren't appropriate for this venue or the kind of event we were having. It was hard to do this, but in the end it all worked out for the better.
I'm also a professional designer and love to do projects, so it was really important to me to include special handmade details throughout the day. I spent months hand-crafting our custom invitation suite and made a few signs using barn wood from Ryan's family farm in Oklahoma. About 10 months before our wedding, a very special cherry tree in my parents' backyard fell over—and after crying about it for a good 20 minutes, I took my mom's offer of using it for the wedding and hand-lettered each guest's name onto a slice of wood for their place card. I thought that would be a detail that was only important to me, but our guests took them home afterwards and have been doing all kinds of fun things with them!

What was your favorite part of your wedding day?

My favorite part of the entire day happened right after the ceremony. There's a small amount of time that the bride and groom get alone together before everyone else comes in for the recessional and our feeling of elation was so high at that point. I'll never forget the kiss we shared right then and what it felt like to have done it!
Okay, okay. And I know I've rambled for a bit but I have to share the most classic part of the day. First, it downpoured right before our outdoor ceremony (yes, we had a plan B). And I had no idea. Guests afterwards kept asking me if I was freaking out, but really, I was just glad about this:
When I arrived at the venue, I walked up to the doorway with my brother and our photographer. As we approached the doorway, I heard a hissing noise—and looked over to see a large rattlesnake reared up, fangs bared, and rattling/hissing 10 feet away from my brother! We backed away, used a different entrance, and the venue called a ranger but eventually the snake just went away on its own. So rain wasn't the worst thing that could have happened to us and it gave us some great perspective and a great story.

What was totally worth it?

My invitations. I know a lot of people throw fancy invitations in the FIB, but I spent hours and hours on mine and loved every minute. We got so many compliments on them and people really appreciated the attention to detail.
My dress. Y'all... the cost of wedding dresses can be INSANE I know. We splurged a little more than I had planned on mine—and it wasn't even my mom or grandma's favorite. But I loved it so much and it made me feel so incredible.
The. Open. Bar. And I don't mean this in a "you're a bad host if you don't have one" way, because, ew. We didn't think we had it in our budget, but we found a company in Colorado that did it for just $16 (yes, SIXTEEN) dollars a person for the entire night (whaaaat?!). So we spent the money on it and it really helped loosen everyone up for the dancing and socializing. And our guests were grateful for it. I have photos of my cousins hanging out with my friends from college. Of Ryan's uncle dancing in the middle of a group of my aunts. Everyone mingled and I don't think it would have been the same without the bar.

What was not worth it?

​Okay... I know this sounds cliche and like I am seeing our day through rose-colored glasses. There was a lot of stress leading up to the day and it wasn't a fun year planning. But I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Oh, this. Meeting with wedding planners wasn't worth it. I didn't end up hiring one, which made me really nervous because of our short timeline for setup. But I put a trusted aunt of mine in charge and my family tackled everything beautifully! I did make sure everything was ridiculously (and y'all, I mean ridiculously) organized for them, but they were happy to help and another vendor would have just gotten in the way. Not sure I would have the same advice to others unless they have ready and willing people like mine!

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?

Everything traditional beyond the first dances! No bouquet toss, no garter toss, no cake cutting... just a really fun party! And we got feedback from everyone about how much fun it was instead of feeling like a checklist of things to get done during the night.
We also threw the traditional timeline in the FIB and did a first look, which was fabulous because it calmed us both down before the ceremony, and we were able to get photos out of the way so we could enjoy cocktail hour!
Transportation. People are adults. They can get somewhere on time and drive responsibly on their own.
Our traditional American rehearsal dinner also went in the FIB. At first I didn't want to do this—I wanted a nice wedding party dinner in an intimate setting without the whole family around—but as the planning went on I found that I didn't think the money was worth it, and just went with my mom's suggestion of using the fabulous AirBnb they had rented with a barn area out in the back. My MIL had tacos brought in and we ended up inviting the whole extended family—which was GREAT after all because then everyone had been around each other before the wedding so it was more relaxed and much less divided on the wedding day.

What advice do you have for other couples planning their weddings?

​Try to just feel gratitude, not guilt. I spent a lot of time worrying about other people—how much my bridesmaids were spending to travel, how awful of a person I was for not inviting all of my parents' friends when they were helping us pay for the wedding, how everyone would have to take time off for our Friday date. And in the end, everyone was so happy to be there and to be a part of it. They all had a fantastic time and I learned that while it's YOUR special day, it will be special for others too.
Also, hire professionals. They're good at their job and they'll make everything better for you.

How did Bridechilla help you plan your wedding?

Bridechilla helped to keep me sane! There were so many times that I felt so alone throughout the process. It was great to have a community of people to reach out to who would respond with understanding and not judgment.

Stacey and Ryan’s Rockstar Vendors

VENUE: Boettcher Mansion
PHOTOGRAPHER: Grace Gatto
VIDEOGRAPHER: White Summit Films
OFFICIANT: Carl Bloom
DJ: Quality Mobile Sound
CATERING: Colorado Catering Company
RENTALS: (linens, dishes)- Colorado Party Rentals
BEVERAGES: Peak Beverage
CUPCAKES: Gold Mine Cupcakes
INVITATIONS + DESIGN: Aspen Scribe (that's me, the bride!)
FLORIST: The bride’s aunt
HAIR AND MAKEUP: Shear Abby
BRIDAL SHOP: Amanda’s Bridal
DRESS DESIGNER: Casablanca
GROOMSMEN ATTIRE: Men’s Wearhouse
GROOM’S ATTIRE: Suit Supply
REHEARSAL DINNER: Held at a family AirBnb, catered by Torchy’s Tacos
WEDDING PARTY TIES: Knotty Tie Co
COORDINATOR: Family and friends

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Karya & Lance’s Fairy Tale Travel Inspired Wedding

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Karya and Lance love spending time together, especially traveling and experiencing local adventures. Therefore, it only made sense that their wedding was based around their sight of wonder. With Lance being 100% Norwegian, it was also important to include his heritage as the highlighted locale within the traveling theme. This is why Karya wore a traditional Norwegian Solje crown during the ceremony along with a broach attached to her bouquet. The entire bridal party's jewelry was based around Norwegian traditional heritage design.

Karya and her girls got ready in the Grand Salle Suite at The Charmant Hotel in downtown La Crosse. This suite also served as Karya and Lance's wedding night accommodation and a quick photo opportunity at the end of the night with views overlooking downtown La Crosse.

Karya had customized alterations done to her gown, she had a grand vision for the train! The engagement band features an antique yellow diamond the couple had placed in a setting crafted by a local jeweler.

Both Karya and Lance have children from previous relationships and all of them served as a part of the wedding party. Karya's son walked her down the aisle and served as Lance's ring bearer.

Karya & Lance share their fairy tale, travel inspired wedding featuring Norweigian traditions and a bold color palette! Photos by Pink Spruce Photography. | Featured on The Bridechilla Blog | www.thebridechilla.com

The fairy tale ceremony would not have been complete without a "victory lap" around the local Riverside Park in a horse drawn carriage.

Every table at the reception was decorated based around a location that held a special place in the bride and groom's hearts. Lance's immediate family sat at the Norwegian themed table while the bride and groom sat at their own private sweetheart table. 

Karya and Lance own a wine bar, so to tie that part of their lives into the day, they sent their guests home with personalized bottles of wine.

Karya & Lance's Rockstar Vendors

Photographer: Pink Spruce Photography

Invitation Designer: Proline Printing

Jewelry: Satori Arts Gallery

Etsy Designer: Karen Strain Kreations

Ring Designer: Designing Jewelers

Groomsman Attire: Michael Kors

Bridesmaid Dresses: David's Bridal

Bridal Shop: The Wedding Tree

Gown Designer: Galina Signature Collection by David's Bridal

Pre Ceremony Location: The Grand Salle Suite at The Charmant Hotel

Catering & Bakery: The Waterfront Restaurant and Tavern

Floral Designer: Viroqua Village Market Floral

Transportation: Cinderella Carriage

Accommodations: The Charmant Hotel

Venue: The Cargill Room at The Waterfront Restaurant and Tavern

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Adelle + Amy’s Minimalist, Midwestern Wedding in an Industrial Loft

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Tell us a little about you and your partner!

Adelle: We both swiped right on Tinder in August 2015 (...a few months after I ignored a message from her on OK Cupid 🙂 That Halloween, at 1 in the morning she brought me cold pizza in bed and I told her that I loved her. Over winter break, she came down with an awful flu and moved in on my couch. She never left. (Insert joke about lesbians bringing a U-Haul to the second date.)

In October of 2016, after working a long day at my job on the campaign trail, I opened the door to our apartment and saw her down on one knee with a ring, surrounded by tea lights and pumpkins spelling out "Will you marry me?" I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else, so of course I said yes!

She is my partner in all things, from tasting craft brews to volunteering for political causes to our weekly Dungeons & Dragons sessions.

Tell us all about your wedding!

I knew going into the planning process that we wanted to keep things minimalist and include only the traditions and details that made sense to us and brought us joy.

When I looked for a venue, one stood out immediately - an industrial loft in the heart of Downtown Omaha with beautiful natural lighting and brick details. They allowed us to choose all of our own vendors, which let us plan an event that really reflected our priorities.
Our beverages included local craft beers, which was important to us as supporters of Nebraska breweries. I also made sure our day was filled with little queer details - everything was "Mrs. & Mrs." and our readings included a passage from Audre Lorde's "Zami," about the incomparable experience of two women falling in love in a world that conspires against that love.

What was totally worth it?

We splurged on our venue, and I'm really glad that we did. Choosing a location with so much natural beauty meant that we could be very minimal on our decorations, saving us from the cost and frustration of too much DIYing.

What was not worth it?

We had an 18 month engagement and I felt the pressure to make lots of decisions way too early. One of those decisions was purchasing a dress on deep clearance that wasn't my style (and didn't fit by the time the wedding rolled around!) I ended up purchasing a second one that still looked traditional but much more low-key.

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?

Sexist and heterosexist traditions went right in the FIB! No one "gave us away" and no garter or bouquet toss for us. Also, I threw internalized fatphobia in the FIB early on - I knew I wasn't going to diet my way into happiness and let go of the fear of "looking fat" on my wedding day.

What wedding planning advice do you have for other engaged couples?

Be well-organized, but don't decide on every last detail too early in the planning process. 6-12 months is plenty of time!

How did Bridechilla help you plan your wedding?

I listened to sooo many Bridechilla podcast episodes and once I discovered the Bridechilla Community, I was a frequent visitor. The Bridechilla ethos really resonates with me - don't feel obliged to tradition, plan your wedding around what's practical and meaningful to you, make peace with your body and reject other people's expectations if they aren't bringing you joy.

Adelle & Amy's Rockstar Vendors

Photography - Molly Tubman

Beverages & bartending - ​Cornhusker Beverage

Adelle's dress - ModCloth

Amy and Bridesmen's tuxes - Shannon Formalwear

Catering & Cake - Hy-Vee

Rentals - Elite Events Rental

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Elle & Alex’s Eclectic DIY Mountain Lodge Wedding

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Elle & Alex share their eclectic, modern, mountain lodge wedding in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Georgia. 

Laughter and happy tears overlooking the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains. Elle and Alex's day was nothing short of beautiful and full of love. Their wedding party wore a mix-match of yellow, greens, and blues that complimented the perfect fall day in the Georgia mountains.
When Elle first saw Alex in one of her college courses, she didn't know her crush would blossom into an incredible love story. From their vows to the speeches given by those closest to them, the bond they share is undeniable and obvious.

Tell us a little about you and your partner!

Elle: We met in a history class at Florida State University. Elle talked to Alex first, and a few months later, she asked him to be her boyfriend. When we got engaged six years later, it was just before Christmas. We were visiting Alex's family in South Florida. Alex invited all our friends and family to a party without Elle knowing. When Elle arrived and walked into the backyard, Alex got down on one knee just as all our friends and family were coming out of their hiding places to surprise her!

Tell us about your wedding!

Alex's suit was burgundy, so one of the colors we chose to compliment that in our palette was ox blood: a very dark and sultry color. This and a goldenrod yellow were the colors that made our palette pop. Ox blood, goldenrod, charcoal blue, blush pink, and sage green were all featured in the decorations, and the bridal party chose dresses or pantsuits from these colors.

We made all the decorations for the ceremony and the reception ourselves. For the center pieces and counter tops, we used assorted bottles of different shapes, sizes, and colors and made bundles of fake flowers for each vessel. We got SO many compliments on the flowers, and it was a lot more affordable to use fake ones. We borrowed shepherd hooks to line the walkway for the ceremony, and hung a mason jar from each hook filled with the fake flower bundles. Elle's dad made the triangle-shaped arch and we ordered a green garland and some (real) baby's breath to wrap it. The only other real flowers were bouquets for the bride and bridesmaids, which were also placed on the table for extra center pieces after the ceremony. Because our venue was outdoors with sweeping mountain views, we didn't want to over decorate. The beauty of the scenery made it easy to do simple decorations.

The bouquets and boutonnieres featured a lot of greenery. Elle's bouquet was a "fresh picked" look with some trailing greens. These touches matched the beauty of the outdoor setting. Blue thistle was featured in the bouquets and boutonnieres, which made the flowers look unique and wild.

Instead of a traditional guest book, we had our guests take pictures with an Instax mini camera and put it in a photo album where there was also space for them to write a message. Everyone loved it! We were also able to use the camera during the rehearsal dinner and the afterparty, and these are some of my favorite memories captured during our special weekend. Our photographer, Alexis, also brought an Instax camera and took a few shots with it in addition to her DSLR!

What wedding planning advice do you have for engaged couples?

If you're on a budget, decide which top 3-5 things to really throw money at. Expenses really add up, and knowing what you can cut corners on or completely do without are important decisions to talk about as you go.

Elle & Alex's Rockstar Vendors

Photographer: Alexis Schwallier Photography LLC

Second Photographer: Jessica Hunt Photography

Floral Bouquets: The Flower Garden of Blairsville

Caterer: Big Girls Events & Catering

Venue: 5 Star Lodge and Stables

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Jessica + Will’s Laid Back, Sunflower Wedding in Chatanooga

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Bridechilla Graduate, Jessica & Will share their sunny, casual sunflower wedding day in Chatanooga, TN full of sweet, personal details and the ultimate Chilla vibes!

Tell us a little about you and your partner!

Jessica: Our first date was at the park - Will brought his dog Benson! Benson fell asleep in my arms and I knew I at least wanted to spend more time with the dog - little did I know I'd get a husband out of the deal.

Tell us all about your event!

We wanted the day to be really personal and special. We couldn't bring our pets, but we had photos of them on the tables. Sunflowers are my favorite flower, and were the first flower Will ever got me, so I wanted to include them (plus they're just really cheerful and fun!) Our ceremony included a reading from Mister Rogers! I was focused more on the vibe of the day than anything else - I couldn't stop saying how happy and excited I was.

What was totally worth it?

Having a wedding in the first place - sometimes during the planning process we wondered why we were doing it but we had so much fun. Seeing all our favorite people there to support us in one room was the best. I get the happy goosebumps just thinking about how awesome that day was.

What was not worth it?

Some of the pinterest-y signage. I accidentally threw away a sign and I got nervous that people wouldn't know what to do with our poster guestbook - I had some of our wedding party sign it and everyone else caught on. Also, a hashtag! I didn't put too much emphasis on it to begin with but not a lot of people used it.

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?

Favors - we donated to our local animal shelter in lieu of favors!

What wedding planning advice do you have for other couples?

Your day is going to be awesome just by it being your wedding day, so try not to sweat the small stuff. It's an amazing day, but it doesn't have to be The Best Day Ever. It's a big party to celebrate you and your love - enjoy it!

The Bridechilla Podcast and community helped to reinforce that our choices are our own, and they are valid! Plus, it was just nice to share with people going through the same thing.

Jessica & Will's Rockstar Vendors

Photographer - Sara Kristen Photography

Coordinator - Maggie Walker Weddings

Caterer - Apron Strings Catering

Wedding Gown - Monica's Bridal

Bridesmaid Dresses - Azazie

Groom's Suit - Yacoubian Tailors

Lighting/Draping - Décor 1601

Makeup - EmMe Makeup Artistry

Bouquets - The Roark Co.

Pergola - Receptions by Design

Stage Flowers - Chattanooga Wreath Company

Cake - Kimmee's Cakes

Hair - Kimberly Satin

Officiant - Ted Gocke

DJ - Andy Duke

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James + Hannah’s Classic New Orleans Wedding in the French Quarter

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Bridechilla Graduate, Hannah and James were married in a joyous, musical, New Orleans wedding in the French Quarter at the Bourbon Orleans Hotel.

Tell us a little about you and your partner!

Hannah: James and I met back during my freshman year of college at his fraternity house. The polite way I worded the encounter for our website was: "Hannah was a little too shy for outgoing James at the time," which pretty much sums up being offered a beer by a young man in cowboy boots, a cowboy hat, and his skivvies best. He jokingly claims that's when I knew he was "the one." For the record, I declined the beer.

We ended up staying in touch well after college--always drawn back together after lost time somehow. After some turbulent times with both of our jobs, we found support in each other and things quickly built from there. We both share the same sense of humor, love a party, weirdly finish each other's sentences, and are obsessed with our dogs: a golden retriever named Maverick (pro tip: don't name a dog Maverick for he will live up to his name) and a wiener dog named Odysseus. If you must know, Odysseus runs this house.

Tell us all about your event!

If there's one thing we love about where we are from, it is Louisiana's unique culture that is steeped in celebration. We wanted to share what we find so special about our state, and what better city to do that in? New Orleans.

We picked a venue in the heart of the French Quarter, putting everything in the middle of the action. With my relatives scattered across the country (and some around the globe), we wanted to show them a true New Orleans time. With such a bounty of local musicians, priority number one was to have a live band. Scratch that--priority number one was to have a second line band.

The second line is a unique New Orleans tradition where the honored guests (bride and groom) and brass band make up the "first line" of a celebratory parade. With them leading the way, the guests follow along in what is called the "second line," strutting their stuff to the music and waving handkerchiefs in the air. One of the most fun aspects of the second line is how many people just join in the party as you parade down the street. We knew this would be an experience like no other for our friends and family from outside the area, and could not wait to share it with them.

Thus sums up our overall goal of our wedding: To make sure our guests have the time of their lives, get to experience local food and traditions, and create memories they will never forget. And if our pictures tell you anything, boy did we succeed.

Some other unique lagniappe: Our invitations were designed by a close friend of mine as a gift, and we had a groom's cake made to look like our wiener dog. Did we mention we like our dogs?

What was totally worth it?


A First Look - I swore I didn't want one, but due to struggling with anxiety in my life that was not necessarily related to wedding planning, we made the decision to move forward with a first look. I was like a new person when I saw him; the biggest weight lifted from my shoulders. I'm not going to be the one that's like "oh it didn't take away from seeing him at the ceremony at all!" It did. But I'm okay with that. I felt so amazing after I saw him and literally nothing else mattered after that moment. I got the most beautiful photos from that moment and cherish all of them.

The Wedding Coordinator - Our venue came with one and I honestly don't know what I would've done without her. I literally showed up to my wedding, no work to be done on my part. I spent my day drinking champagne and getting my hair and makeup done. Was there any vendor crisis that day? No clue. And I like it that way.

What was not worth it?

Don't worry too much about decor. I barely focused on it in the end and I don't think it's what anyone notices honestly.

Worrying about the opinions of other people. I say that because other people caused the most stress throughout the planning experience. Focus on your goals and priorities, find those you can confide in, and tune out the noise.

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?

An unplugged ceremony. Our pictures turned out lovely and hardly anyone had the phones and cameras out anyway. Plus, seeing their pictures kept the wait for our professional ones bearable! It was definitely not worth the stress for us.

What advice do you have for other couples planning their weddings?

My greatest piece of advice that I play on repeat: Trust your vision and it will turn out more beautiful than you expected. (And hire a bomb ass photographer so you can see it all later.)

Bridechilla provided me a place to gush about all things wedding without getting clashing opinions from close family and friends. It provided a great place to vent and laugh about the absurdities of the planning process, like crying because the kerning on my invitations didn't come out right at the printer....you know...normal stuff...

James & Hannah's Rockstar Vendors

Photographer: Maile Lani Photography

Venue: Bourbon Orleans Hotel

Flowers: Thibodeaux's Floral Studio

Reception Band: G.O.T. Groove

Second Line Band: Kinfolk Brass Band

Bridesmaids Dresses: Bella Bridesmaids

Photo Booth: Flash & Geaux

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