Tag:

anxiety

How to sleep when you’re dealing with pre-wedding jitters

by Aleisha February 27, 2019

written by Aleisha

Sleep + stress can be a very annoying combo for some Chillas. With your brain buzzing and your adrenaline pumping getting a restful night's sleep can be a challenge. Sarah from Tuck, a dedicated resource for both sleep health, shares some tips to help you get a good night sleep. ??

Bridechillas and Groomchillas have a lot on their mind when they are planning a wedding, which can make it difficult to stay chill. It can also make it difficult to sleep because you are focused on everything that needs to be done. Getting enough sleep is incredibly important to be able to handle all of the curveballs that come with event planning, so you need to make sure that you are doing everything you can to get them regularly! If you find this being a problem for you, here are some tips to help you deal with the stress that you are dealing with!

Work out the Jitters with Light Exercise

If you keep catching yourself fidgeting with things or struggling to focus, you might need to work on working out those jitters. If you find that it’s only showing up in the evening, you should do this with light exercise that doesn’t get your heart rate elevated too much in order to avoid the adrenaline rush that will keep you up all night. You can also do a heavier workout earlier in the day to make you more tired in the afternoons and evenings.

Photo by Jacob Postuma

Listen to a helpful episode of The Bridechila Podcast

Double Check Things At Home

If you’re far from home checking out new venues or actually getting married, it can be easy to get stressed about what might be going on at your home.

We recommend you call someone you trust and have them check on your home to make sure that it’s secure or check in with your security company to make sure that nothing unusual has been going on around your home. This is an easy way to assuage your fears and give you the peace of mind you deserve while you travel.

Talk to Your Partner About Your Worries

One of the perks of getting married is that you always have someone to turn to when you are struggling with something - your partner. If something about the wedding planning process is bothering you, talk to your partner about it. This event is about both of you so make sure that you’re not the only one stressing about the celebration. If you can’t talk to your partner, try bending your bridesmaids’ ears. They’re your close friends and are supposed to be helping you with your stress. They might even have the perfect solution to your problem!

Photo by Rhema Kallianpur

Optimize Your Sleep Area

Last but not least, make sure that your sleep area is as conducive to a good night’s sleep as possible. This means getting rid of distractions like your wedding planning supplies, blocking out extraneous noise and light, and putting your phone somewhere where you won’t reach for it in the middle of the night to do more work.

If you are tossing and turning, the reason might be related to the mattress that you are sleeping on or the pillows that you are resting your head on. Try changing up your pillows or mattress topper if you haven’t in a while to see if that helps.

Photo by Toa Heftiba

About Tuck

Tuck aims to improve sleep hygiene, health, and wellness through the creation and dissemination of comprehensive, unbiased, free resources. Boasting the largest collection of aggregated data on sleep products on the web (more than 300,000 customer experiences from thousands of unique sources), Tuck aims to power consumers, sleep professionals, and the troubled sleeper looking for answers.

Header image by Vladislav Muslakov

February 27, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

Episode 354- Overcoming Perfectionism with Dr. David Purves

by Aleisha January 7, 2019

written by Aleisha

One way Bridechillas can have a great wedding experience is by first overcoming perfectionism. Planning a wedding involves so many factors. There are family and friends to consider, vendors to deal with, and so many other plans, all while preparing to start a new life with your partner. With so many variables, there are bound to be things that don’t go as planned. Perfectionism is an enemy to be defeated in wedding planning and in life. On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, guest Dr. David Purves share tools and takeaways to overcome and avoid perfectionism.

Listen to episode 354 of Bridechilla

Photo by Siddharth Bhogra

The Perils of Perfectionism

Dr. Purves says that perfectionism creates a false dichotomy. Perfectionists believe that the opposite of perfection is failure. Leaving no gray area causes problems in wedding planning and in everyday life. It can damage relationships, hinder productivity at work, and ultimately lead to depression. During this episode, Dr. David Purves describes the behaviors of perfectionists, discusses contriubtors that lead to perfectionistic tendencies, and offers practices for overcoming perfectionism.

“By retaining power and control, you can have more of the wedding you want.”

Photo by Leon Biss

Don’t Give Away Your Power and Control

Perfectionists almost always have a need to be in control. While planning a wedding, a perfectionist desires to control how vendors operate, how family members behave and every other aspect of the wedding. However, there are external factors that no one can control. Dr. David Purves says that you have all the power and control you need, but quite often you are giving it away to things that are irrelevant. Listen to the relationship between perfectionism and the need for control and the damage it can cause during this interview.

“Perfectionism is like a program running in the background causing things to happen.”

Methods to Overcoming Perfectionism

If you have identified yourself or your partner as a perfectionist, don’t worry, there is help. You can overcome perfectionism and regain balance in your life. As a psychologist, Dr. Purves has years of valuable experience and insight for how to stop expecting perfection and find more peace and joy in life. While it takes self-evaluation, work and accountability, change is possible. During this episode, Dr. Purves shares his wisdom and gives practical steps to help you move toward balance.

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

Being a perfectionist leads to the need for control. It also leads to worry and anxiety. Dr. Purves explains that worry is always based on events in the future. It is impossible to control the future. Rather than spend time worrying about the future, he suggests establishing what is true and practicing remembering it. Stay focused on the present and let the future take care of itself. Implementing the tips and practices given by Dr. Purves in this podcast episode will help you take the first step in overcoming perfectionism. It will also help you have a better wedding experience and a happier life.

Photo by Juan Camilo Navia

Listen to episode 354 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

[0:25] Introduction of this episodes guest, Dr. David Purves
[1:12] How perfectionism creates the unnecessary pressure of avoiding failure
[4:40] The issue of control and how it relates to perfectionists
[8:27] To avoid the pressure for perfection while planning your wedding, stary by asking “what is controlling you.”
[11:09] What internal and external factors contribute to perfectionism in wedding planning
[13:40] How can you diagnose perfectionism before it gets out of hand?
[22:24] Methods of being more mindful and calm in dealing with the lead up to your wedding
[29:43} The importance of positive self-talk
[31:44} Dr. Purves explains the secret of maintaining all of the power and control
[36:21] Tips for how to deal with worry and anxiety during the final days of preparation before the wedding

Memorable Quotes

“You can’t be a perfectionist unless you are a control freak”
“Perfectionism is like a program running in the background causing things to happen.”
“You have all the power and control you need to achieve anything you want in your life.”
“It’s not acceptable to be negative. We don’t want to be particularly positive, we just want to be accurate.”

Episode Resources

Show image by Şahin Yeşilyaprak

January 7, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

277- Achieving Life/Wedding Balance

by Aleisha July 17, 2017

written by Aleisha

If you feel like you are spinning plates, trying to balance your work, home and wedding planning life, I am sure you are not alone.

One major theme that runs through The Bridechilla Podcast and discussion in our Bridechilla Community is trying to find balance while also ticking off all of those tasks in the overgrowing list while also maintaining relationships and having some semblance of a relaxing/leisure time.

LISTEN TO THE EPISODE

We get it. It can be hard and sometimes feel like a struggle.

This episode’s guest is Afeisha James-Kipps. Afeisha is the CEO and Co-founder of Wedspire, a one-stop-shop wedding platform that will change the way brides and grooms plan for their big day.

Afeisha and I share our struggles with finding a balance with our businesses and our experiences planning our weddings and bring you ways to calm the mind, get organised and feel in control of your tasks while also giving yourself permission to relax and have a life!

Afeisha shares some of her thoughts about wedding/life balance

When talking about wedding planning for some, it is quite an excitement, but for others, the first words that come to mind are stressful and overwhelmed. This is arguably one of the biggest moments of your life so having a work/life balance while planning your wedding is crucial.

Why Do You Feel Overwhelmed?

First off, let’s dive in and examine why you might be feeling as though your wedding planning is simply too overwhelming. It could be due to a long list of things based on your circumstances, honestly. A few main reasons brides feeling overwhelmed, and maybe you can relate to this, is because you don’t know where to start. You ask your mother, mother - in- law, and best friends who have gotten married but they all seem to have a different vision of what they think your wedding should be.

Do Your Research

You can start out by researching the right pros that align with YOUR vision and the process that suits you the best. What works for you might be different than what worked for your mother, mother - in- law, or best friend. It surely is overwhelming when there are so many options but the more you know, the easier it will be to narrow down your options. Research is key because it will lead you to a better understanding of what it is you are really wanting. The more research you do the more knowledgeable you will be and the less overwhelmed you will become.

As you will hear on this episode of The Bridechilla podcast, wedding planning should be a team exercise- taking the time to focus on getting together and talking about what it is you and your partner are both wanting after doing some research is a strong step forward in the planning process that will lead to a successful plan.

Trust The Pros!

It may be second nature for you to have your hands in every facet, but sooner or later, it will become too overbearing, and it won’t be an enjoyable process. By doing research, communicating with your significant other to narrow down options, and hiring the right pros, you will be way ahead of the game. You will be able to enjoy your wedding planning instead of stressing about every little detail.

If you have done some research, you may have come across, Wedspire during your wedding planning search. That is because Wedspire is a platform where you can search, shop, and share your wedding planning findings all in one place. Talk about a stress-free planning process! From photographers to venues to veils and bouquets, all that you may need to create your dream wedding is at your finger tips.

About Afeisha:
Afeisha comes to Wedspire after a prolific career in event management. She has helped plan large-scale festivals and conferences, including Caribana, the largest Caribbean festival in North America, where she served as the Arts & Entertainment Chair. When Afeisha transitioned to her role as the events director at an international hotelier, the memorable experience of working on several large weddings there led her to fall in love with the wedding industry. Passionate about catering to every couple’s unique style and vision, Afeisha founded Wedspire in order to do just that by pairing couples with the best wedding vendors in the industry.
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July 17, 2017

Bridechilla Blog

5 Ways To Reduce Wedding Stress

by Aleisha June 17, 2017

written by Aleisha

Stress, anxiety, feelings of panic and overwhelm are the last thing you are probably expecting to be hit with after the joy and excitement of getting engaged, but for many of us (often self-imposed), the pressure to get things right and to get things done can mar what should be, an excellent experience.

For many of us, the process of wedding planning can take and uncomfortable turn when you realise just how complicated and involved putting together a super-duper love party can be.

I don't know about you but when we became engaged I was pretty confident that we could plan our wedding without getting caught up in the stress and drama that you so often hear about couples succumbing to…for the most part, we emerged unscathed (minus some guest list panic and having to ‘find' a couple of extra grand!).

Here are five ways that you can avoid wedding stress or at least hush any impending panic or pressure.

1. Communication:

So many issues (both in life and in wedding planning) could be solved by clear communication.

A lot of us avoid saying how we feel instead of having a confrontation. Although sometimes it can feel uncomfortable to discuss certain aspects of your wedding planning process such as money, who is or isn't invited and how certain behaviour by others makes you feel, by getting past the potential awkwardness and communicating your feelings, you will ultimately avoid a bunch of stress and potential drama.

For many couples, disharmony and stress emerge when they are not open and honest about how they feel. Clear communication means thoughtful communication, no real housewives yelling. Think about what you want to say and what the outcome of the conversation is. Remember to be clear and calm. Explain why you are feeling that way. Whether you are speaking to a vendor or your partner, be aware they are not mind readers and without open communication, it's hard to fix issues and get things moving in a positive direction.

2. Remember the outside world:

Wedding planning can feel as if you have taken on a second full-time job, contacting vendors, creating seating charts, scheduling appointments in the bathroom on your phone at work… it can all get pretty overwhelming.

It's essential for you to remember the outside world, that there is life after wedding planning (and during) and that it is vital to carry on with recreational activities that aren't connected to planning your big day. Watch TV, do yoga, see friends. Allocate no wedding talk zones. Stay sane.

3. Ask for help!

Asking for help and acknowledging the generosity of those who love you it's one of the most powerful things you can do to reduce stress.

You don't have to be a one stop wedding planning hero couple. People want to help you. Asking for assistance from those around you is not a sign of weakness, it doesn't mean you a relinquishing control (which isn't a bad thing) or that you have failed, it's a great way to get people involved who want to help you and take the pressure off you.

You don't have to do it alone. As I wrote recently, delegating tasks, whether that be to family and friends or via professional helpers via sites like fiverr, where you can hire people to help you with little and big tasks, can ease the feelings of overwhelm and help you enjoy the tasks that you do take on yourself.

4. Ditch the obligation:

As I have found hosting the Bridechilla Podcast, so much wedding stress and drama evolve from obligation. We feel obliged to invite certain people. Obliged to spend more money than we had and obliged to keep up with the Joneses by trying to make our wedding look like a styled shoot from Pinterest.

Ultimately your wedding day is about celebrating your love and friendship with your partner and having a fabulous party with your most favourite people. When you ditch the feelings of obligation and pressure, you will feel empowered to make decisions that are right for you.

5. Consider hiring a wedding planning or coordinator:

Gone are the days when hiring a wedding planner or day of coordinator was only something wealthy people did.

There so many fabulous options available to couples, to help ease the burden of event planning. I'm sure 99% of people reading this have never planned events for over 15 people, it's a complicated business and requires many hours of thought, contacts and money, so why not hire someone who has the existing skills and experience to ease the stress and burden of managing such an event?

If you are enjoying the process of wedding planning, hiring a coordinator is such a great opportunity for you to have your carefully laid plans well managed and also make sure you get to enjoy your wedding day to the fullest without stressing over small details. If the big wedding planning adventure isn't for you, consider a pop up wedding!

Wedding planners and coordinators at also often helpful in saving you money using their contacts suggestions and pre-existing relationships with vendors and suggesting ways for you to achieve the desired goals without going over budget.

They are also pros at keeping contracts and all of the logistical details that you may miss on track because it's always mindful to remember that you wedding is not only a love party, that will be memorable and awesome, it's also a bunch of business transactions and you want to be able to cover yourself in case of any situation that may arise.

Meet likeminded Bridechillas! Join the Bridechilla Facebook Community

Listen To The Bridechilla Podcast

The Bridechilla Podcast is hosted by comedian, author and virtual bridesmaid, Aleisha McCormack. Each week, Aleisha shares her tell it like it is view and unique take on wedding wisdom to help Bridechillas and Groomchillas ditch the pressures and obligations that we sometimes feel during the journey and have fun planning this awesome day. With over 300 shows in the back catalogue, in addition to answering listener questions, Aleisha interviews the world's leading wedding planners, psychologists and mother-in-law’s.
The Bridechilla Podcast is all about empowering couples to plan the wedding that they want and ditching the stress and meaningless details, that no one will notice...hello chair covers.

June 17, 2017

Bridechilla Podcast

BEST OF – Overcoming Wedding Stress with Dr Lindsay Bira

by Aleisha April 25, 2016

written by Aleisha

The Bridechilla Podcast isn't just about the aesthetics of wedding planning, like decorations and dresses, many episodes cover the stuff the wedding magazines sometimes ignore.
One of the collective themes that unites the Bridechilla Community is the sometimes odd realization that wedding planning can very quickly shift from being fun to overwhelming.
Juggling 'normal life', relationships, work and other priorities as well as all of the pieces that go into planning a wedding isn't something that a lot of us are trained in...I certainly hadn't planned a big event before (or paid for one!).

Everyone gets stressed, it's how you deal with stress is the kicker

Being stressed doesn’t mean you aren’t happy, or not coping…everyone manages (and recognises) stress in different ways, so in this best of episode of the Bridechilla Podcast, clinical health psychologist Dr Lindsay Bira gives us some very practical ways to alter our communication to help calm negativity and get our point across without losing it.
We also talk about how to be more mindful and be more aware of your stress triggers and how to settle the anxiety and communicate with friends and family more productively.

Listen to this episode

Dr Lindsay Bira

Dr Lindsay Bira, a clinical health psychologist who is here to help us with the tools to put into place to prevent stress or at least lessen the burden especially when it comes to wedding planning.

Be sure to check out Dr Lindsay's homepage and learn about some of the coaching that she offers.
Follow her on Twitter and Instagram.

April 25, 2016