Tag:

bridechilla blog

Bridechilla BlogReal Bridechilla Weddings

Stacey and Ryan’s Intimate Vintage Mountain Wedding

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

​Ryan and I have been together for 7 years. We met at a party at my parents' house after my stepdad hired him for his first job out of college. After that summer, we both went back to school in different states and decided to stay long-distance between Texas and Oklahoma to see where things went. I just kept thinking to myself that I would stay in this relationship as long as it made me happy and not worry about the future!
After a couple of years, I decided to move back to New Mexico to be with Ryan and my family. We moved in together, got a dog, and loved traveling and playing board games with friends.
When Ryan got a job in Colorado we faced a turning point in our relationship. We made the decision to stay committed to each other and he proposed on an Alaskan cruise with the 7-year-old map he had drawn to my parents' house from the night we met. We both moved up to Colorado and have been enjoying camping, hiking, and skiing in the mountains.

Designer Stacey designed their invitation suite Aspen Scribe

We ditched the Pinterest Board and Started from Scratch

Like every couple, we really wanted the day to feel like our own. I had a whole Pinterest board before we got engaged, but I chucked it out the window because it was all rustic with lace and mason jars—and I felt like I was planning somebody else's wedding (no hate on that theme; it's beautiful). And we started from scratch. Making the decision to get married in Colorado was hard because that meant both families would have to travel, but we decided to do what was right for us—and we wanted the mountain venue!

Navigating the challenges of planning a big event as introverts

One of our biggest priorities (and challenges) was keeping the day intimate. As introverts, neither of us wanted to stand in front of a crowd of people we only knew half of. We chose our venue because of the slightly smaller size, and saved money by choosing a Friday date. We also decided that kids (save our nieces) weren't appropriate for this venue or the kind of event we were having. It was hard to do this, but in the end it all worked out for the better.
I'm also a professional designer and love to do projects, so it was really important to me to include special handmade details throughout the day. I spent months hand-crafting our custom invitation suite and made a few signs using barn wood from Ryan's family farm in Oklahoma. About 10 months before our wedding, a very special cherry tree in my parents' backyard fell over—and after crying about it for a good 20 minutes, I took my mom's offer of using it for the wedding and hand-lettered each guest's name onto a slice of wood for their place card. I thought that would be a detail that was only important to me, but our guests took them home afterwards and have been doing all kinds of fun things with them!

What was your favorite part of your wedding day?

My favorite part of the entire day happened right after the ceremony. There's a small amount of time that the bride and groom get alone together before everyone else comes in for the recessional and our feeling of elation was so high at that point. I'll never forget the kiss we shared right then and what it felt like to have done it!
Okay, okay. And I know I've rambled for a bit but I have to share the most classic part of the day. First, it downpoured right before our outdoor ceremony (yes, we had a plan B). And I had no idea. Guests afterwards kept asking me if I was freaking out, but really, I was just glad about this:
When I arrived at the venue, I walked up to the doorway with my brother and our photographer. As we approached the doorway, I heard a hissing noise—and looked over to see a large rattlesnake reared up, fangs bared, and rattling/hissing 10 feet away from my brother! We backed away, used a different entrance, and the venue called a ranger but eventually the snake just went away on its own. So rain wasn't the worst thing that could have happened to us and it gave us some great perspective and a great story.

What was totally worth it?

My invitations. I know a lot of people throw fancy invitations in the FIB, but I spent hours and hours on mine and loved every minute. We got so many compliments on them and people really appreciated the attention to detail.
My dress. Y'all... the cost of wedding dresses can be INSANE I know. We splurged a little more than I had planned on mine—and it wasn't even my mom or grandma's favorite. But I loved it so much and it made me feel so incredible.
The. Open. Bar. And I don't mean this in a "you're a bad host if you don't have one" way, because, ew. We didn't think we had it in our budget, but we found a company in Colorado that did it for just $16 (yes, SIXTEEN) dollars a person for the entire night (whaaaat?!). So we spent the money on it and it really helped loosen everyone up for the dancing and socializing. And our guests were grateful for it. I have photos of my cousins hanging out with my friends from college. Of Ryan's uncle dancing in the middle of a group of my aunts. Everyone mingled and I don't think it would have been the same without the bar.

What was not worth it?

​Okay... I know this sounds cliche and like I am seeing our day through rose-colored glasses. There was a lot of stress leading up to the day and it wasn't a fun year planning. But I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Oh, this. Meeting with wedding planners wasn't worth it. I didn't end up hiring one, which made me really nervous because of our short timeline for setup. But I put a trusted aunt of mine in charge and my family tackled everything beautifully! I did make sure everything was ridiculously (and y'all, I mean ridiculously) organized for them, but they were happy to help and another vendor would have just gotten in the way. Not sure I would have the same advice to others unless they have ready and willing people like mine!

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?

Everything traditional beyond the first dances! No bouquet toss, no garter toss, no cake cutting... just a really fun party! And we got feedback from everyone about how much fun it was instead of feeling like a checklist of things to get done during the night.
We also threw the traditional timeline in the FIB and did a first look, which was fabulous because it calmed us both down before the ceremony, and we were able to get photos out of the way so we could enjoy cocktail hour!
Transportation. People are adults. They can get somewhere on time and drive responsibly on their own.
Our traditional American rehearsal dinner also went in the FIB. At first I didn't want to do this—I wanted a nice wedding party dinner in an intimate setting without the whole family around—but as the planning went on I found that I didn't think the money was worth it, and just went with my mom's suggestion of using the fabulous AirBnb they had rented with a barn area out in the back. My MIL had tacos brought in and we ended up inviting the whole extended family—which was GREAT after all because then everyone had been around each other before the wedding so it was more relaxed and much less divided on the wedding day.

What advice do you have for other couples planning their weddings?

​Try to just feel gratitude, not guilt. I spent a lot of time worrying about other people—how much my bridesmaids were spending to travel, how awful of a person I was for not inviting all of my parents' friends when they were helping us pay for the wedding, how everyone would have to take time off for our Friday date. And in the end, everyone was so happy to be there and to be a part of it. They all had a fantastic time and I learned that while it's YOUR special day, it will be special for others too.
Also, hire professionals. They're good at their job and they'll make everything better for you.

How did Bridechilla help you plan your wedding?

Bridechilla helped to keep me sane! There were so many times that I felt so alone throughout the process. It was great to have a community of people to reach out to who would respond with understanding and not judgment.

Stacey and Ryan’s Rockstar Vendors

VENUE: Boettcher Mansion
PHOTOGRAPHER: Grace Gatto
VIDEOGRAPHER: White Summit Films
OFFICIANT: Carl Bloom
DJ: Quality Mobile Sound
CATERING: Colorado Catering Company
RENTALS: (linens, dishes)- Colorado Party Rentals
BEVERAGES: Peak Beverage
CUPCAKES: Gold Mine Cupcakes
INVITATIONS + DESIGN: Aspen Scribe (that's me, the bride!)
FLORIST: The bride’s aunt
HAIR AND MAKEUP: Shear Abby
BRIDAL SHOP: Amanda’s Bridal
DRESS DESIGNER: Casablanca
GROOMSMEN ATTIRE: Men’s Wearhouse
GROOM’S ATTIRE: Suit Supply
REHEARSAL DINNER: Held at a family AirBnb, catered by Torchy’s Tacos
WEDDING PARTY TIES: Knotty Tie Co
COORDINATOR: Family and friends

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla BlogReal Bridechilla Weddings

Monica and Kane’s 10k Hacienda Ranch Celebration

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Travel blogger and Bridechilla Graduate Monica share all of the details of planning her wedding to husband Kane in Ventura, California at the Olivas Adobe, a beautiful historic Spanish ranch house (hacienda) from the 1800s.

People always say, "it goes by so fast," but I didn't really understand that until we got married; it was a beautiful, joyous blur of happiness and love. On the day of the wedding, I kept saying, "my heart feels so full it could burst." Anyway enough of the mushy stuff, here's my recap that can, hopefully, help some Chillas through the planning process.

Details of the wedding: 


The budget was 10k, but we ended up spending just under. The guest list was short and sweet because we are an international couple (American and Australian), 47 people, not including us. Catering was a taco truck that went wonderfully, but if the wedding was bigger might not have been fast enough, keep this in mind for bigger weddings contemplating food trucks. Alcohol was a self-service bar (aka coolers) that my mom worried about but was well received (and saved us lots of money).
Okay now for the things I absolutely LOVED:

1) Switching my dress three months before the wedding: 

I originally bought a beautiful silk slip dress that I still love, but realized would be too much work at an outdoor wedding in a dirt courtyard (it would show every bit of sweat, dirt, and wrinkle). After heeing and hawing I bit the bullet and bought a bridesmaid's skirt (Hampton) and shirt (Becky top) from BHLDN to wear instead because it would allow me more freedom to dance. It was the best decision ever because before I even got a bite of my tacos I dropped salsa all over it (don't drop a ladle back into ANYTHING on your wedding day) and due to the different layers of the dress and some quick application of a Tide To Go pen (bring one of these!) all of the BRIGHT RED salsa came out without anyone being able to tell. It also looked bomb in dancing photos, and the best bit was...I wasn't worried about it. I danced my ass off, got the bottom three inches covered in dirt, and didn't care one bit. I think this is my best bit of advice for weddings, if you're thinking about a dress you'll have to baby all night, put it back and pick something you can rock out it and not worry (or do a ceremony and reception dress, I didn't because that just wasn't me, but this would solve the problem).

2) Gratuitous use of the Fuck It Bucket:

Things we put in the FIB, parent dances, elaborate wedding dress, large bridal party (just MOH and best man for us), long guest list (under 50 people allowed us to talk to everyone and still enjoy our wedding), garter and bouquet tosses, sit down meal (we met in Guatemala and spent the first 6 months of our relationship in Central America and Mexico, so tacos were the only logical choice), not seeing each other day of (hell we walked in together), and many more.

3) Sticking to our guns and only including things in the wedding that fit with us as a couple and were fun:

One of our good family friends called our wedding a "no bullshit wedding" and I couldn't be more proud. Many, many people had a lot of opinions about our wedding because it was clear from the beginning that I was not going to do traditions for tradition's sake, but those very same people LOVED our wedding and told us repeatedly how much fun it was. Basically, stay true to yourselves, and you'll have a blast.

4) Our wedding venue

Our non-traditional venue was so perfect for the vibe of our wedding that I loved it for the things that would make many people dislike it (dirt floor, outside, difficult lighting) and wouldn't change a thing (but I will talk about this more in the things to consider section, because parts of the venue did make things harder).

5) Our food:

Even though you'll likely be so hopped up on adrenaline that your appetite completely disappears get wedding food you love to eat. My husband loves tacos almost as much as he loves me, so we got a taco truck (and saved heaps of money as it was only $450 for 50 people). I also loved that instead of traditional centerpieces I put little-potted succulents in the center of the table with the flag of the table's name in it (I named our tables after countries we visited on our first trip together) and surrounded that with bowls of chips, guac, and salsa. People raved about the quick access to tasty food (i.e., they didn't have to wait to start eating because there were snacks on the tables).

6) Our ceremony: 

I honestly hadn't thought that the ceremony would be one of my favorite parts of the wedding, but it was so amazing. My dad's Unitarian Universalist Reverend married us, and she knocked it out of the park. We met with her twice before the wedding to make sure our ideologies meshed (I was raised Christian but am more of a spiritual Unitarian with a Buddhist bent and my husband was not raised in any church so is very uncomfortable with God talk). I HIGHLY recommend doing this, because it helped her get to know us and she made the ceremony so personal and special because of it. Also, one thing to consider, I was debating between having a friend do it and having the reverend and am really glad we picked the reverend because she's already comfortable with public speaking and it took stress off my friend who could then just enjoy herself.

7) Writing our own vows:

'm a writer, so this was a no-brainer for me, but much harder for my husband. He researched vows for two weeks before the wedding and was very worried he wouldn't compare, but he did an amazing job!!! I was trying really hard not to cry, but hearing his vows did me in. It was so special to keep that little bit secret from each other (also because we didn't really keep anything else secret lol) and I wouldn't change a bit. I'm also really happy we get to keep our written vows to look back on.

8) Getting a DJ:

This was another one that I waffled on because of cost, but I'm so glad we spent the money (which in the end wasn't heaps, because my mom worked with someone who DJs on the side and he did the ceremony and reception for $300). While a Spotify playlist could totally work, dancing was really important to us and having a person reading the room really helps to keep people on the dance floor. Also having a real live person doing music rather than a playlist means you don't have to worry about it, you can just enjoy. Oh and I really liked sending him a massive playlist (about 100 songs) of songs I love so that I could have a bit of input on the music, but then on the day of give up control and just dance.

9) Non-traditional venues are more work:

We went non-traditional because I have a strong irrational hatred of ballrooms and couldn't see getting married anywhere inside, but it did end up being a lot more work than an all-inclusive. We had an amazing group of family and friends to help us pull it off (seriously we didn't lift a finger the day of because I had heaps of spreadsheets to hand off to them to answer questions for me) but if you don't have a big group of people you can really count on I'd suggest either a) an all-inclusive or b) a wedding planner/coordinator.

10) Wedding planners/coordinators:

I planned our whole wedding weekend by myself in 4 months while in grad school, so I'm not entirely sold on the need for a wedding planner, but I can see the value if you have the money (we didn't) and don't like spreadsheets (I ❤️ you Google Spreadsheets). As for the wedding coordinator I can definitely see the value in this one, but as we didn't have the budget for it and I have amazing friends one of my very best friends (who is a mechanical engineer and very detail oriented) did our day of coordinating. She did a knock out job and even organized a surprise send-off for us (I had been planning to stay and help pick up), but not everyone has someone like this, and I would have died without her. She was the single most important person in pulling off the wedding and allowing us to enjoy it, so either have an awesome friend who you trust with everything or pay someone, just don't do it yourselves otherwise I could see stress ruining the day.

11) Logistics:

Our venue didn't have great lighting, which I didn't realize until after we'd signed the contract. Luckily, my dad is a general contractor and built our whole lighting set up from scratch. If he hadn't been able to do this we'd be out at least another $3,000 to rent lighting and our budget would be beyond blown. Also, if you're doing a self-service bar designated at least one person to periodically re-fill drink jugs and open wine bottles, somehow people seem not to be able to do this themselves.
And last but not least, extra stuff that not every wedding needs, but that made ours wonderful:

12) Renting a giant guest house on the ocean for young out of towners (and my husband and I) for the whole wedding weekend:

This did take up like $2,400 of our budget, but it was so worth it to have a wedding base camp where everyone could hang out to enjoy the beach during the wedding weekend. It came with kayaks, surfboards, and paddleboards and one of my favorite memories is taking a quick paddle with my FH (now husband) and best man before our rehearsal dinner, which we then turned up to in our swimsuits because we went for longer than we thought. It was a great moment, taking tequila shots in swimsuits on the deck with all our friends and family dressed up (ish we're still casual people) for the rehearsal dinner.

13) Having a wedding weekend:

Traditional weddings are about 6 hours long, and if you think about it that's 6 hours to catch up with all your nearest and dearest and if your wedding is an average size wedding (say 100 people) that's like 3.6 minutes per person, aka NOT ENOUGH. I loved having the whole weekend to chat with all my people that traveled so far (from Alaska, Australia, Massachusetts, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Oregon, and Ohio) to celebrate with us. Even with our little 50 person wedding if I only had the wedding day it wouldn't have been enough time will all my people.
One last tip for those of you who have stuck with me until now (I know it's long, go you for reading!): all the things you worried about for months leading up to the day will vanish into thin air on your wedding day. I worried incessantly about the dress, my hair, my make up (was it enough, was it too much, and round and round), etc. and when it came to the day of I didn't give two craps. The wind messed up my hair within two seconds of getting to the venue, I spilled salsa all over my dress, and my flower crown broke on the dance floor (my friend fixed it with bobby pins, and it lasted the rest of the night) but none of them mattered and couldn't begin to touch the happiness and love that I felt that night marrying my best friend surrounded by all the people that I love so dearly!

Monica and Kane's Rockstar Vendors

Photographer - Stephanie Klotz
Venue - The Olivas Adobe Historical Park
Rentals - Ventura Rentals
Flowers - Skyline Flowers
Hair and Make Up - Christina Lee
Food - Tacos Arandas and Casa de Soria (for chips, salsa, and guac)​
Cake - Nothing Bundt Cakes

I’m Monica, a backpacker originally from the United States who got bit by the travel bug at age 15 and 35 countries later, is still affected.

My story starts out like so many other travel bloggers out there, I graduated from university, hopped on a plane for a 3 month European adventure that would be my first taste of the backpacker lifestyle and thought that would be it. I thought I would finish my gap year between undergraduate school and graduate school with my taste for the world satisfied, that craving dealt with, but I was wrong. Three months in Europe turned into six months in Guatemala, then a month and a half traveling the rest of Central America, and now I find myself in Australia with a work and holiday visa. So much for the go to graduate school, get a career, and settle down plan.

I have been blogging since 2013, with my first blog being a little account of my study abroad experience in Mendoza, Argentina. Since then I have kept track of my travels on a simple WordPress blog, A Post Bac in Wanderlust, but after following a few of the many travel blogs out there I decided I had something to add to the noise that is the travel blogging world, thus this site was born. My aim with this site is to write the posts that I wish I had been able to read about a few of the many topics you’ll come across while traveling and to inspire the next intrepid traveler to take the plunge into this wild world. Enjoy and happy traveling!

https://www.whichwayswest.com 

Meet Monica

Your Heading Here

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla BlogReal Bridechilla Weddings

A Colorful Whimsical Wedding

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Brenna and Blake met on OkCupid, like the young kids do. Their first date almost didn't happen because it was the same day Brenna adopted her kittens (Tea & Shade) but her best friend told her she was too young to stay home on a Saturday night with her cats. She went on the date, grilled Blake and concluded at the end of the date that she "didn't hate him."
Blake proposed to Brenna at his parents house over winter break in front of some family and a few close friends. Brenna was awkward and made horrible noises the entire time that he was saying nice things.
Brenna and Blake love to watch trash reality tv, take their corgi Bennie to the dog park, get coffee and bagels on the weekends and go to the beach.

What Inspired Your Wedding Choices

​Our wedding was inspired by our personalities, who we are as a couple and knowing what we didn't want. Neither of us are traditional or wanted to do the traditional wedding things. We wanted our day to be colorful, feel like us and be fun! We had an open bar, taco buffet for dinner and fancy donuts instead of cake.

Our priorities were booze, music, food and aesthetics.

I couldn't say if there was a favorite part of the day because everything was so perfect and fun. We included a number of special details or "easter eggs" for ourselves. 

The centerpieces included some of Blake's favorite books (Harry Potter, Ender's Game, LOTR, etc.), crystal skulls (which combine Brenna's love of crystals and spookiness), the floral arrangements had succulents (Brenna and Blake are both California natives), our cake topper was the word "Always" a la Harry Potter and Blake's ring has a Star Wars battle scene on it.

We used a pinata as our card box, pinatas with candy instead of the garter/bouquet toss and we had the whole wedding do the cupid shuffle with us instead of doing family dances.

I made signs for all the tables/stations on Canva because I couldn't find what I wanted on Etsy or anyplace else.

I DIY'd the bridal belt and shoes (14+ hours of rhinestoning on those shoes). The tissue balls and decor took forever to "poof" but were well worth it. We also had a tremendous amount of generosity as friends made the individually personalized doilies for every place setting and the paper flower backdrop. While Brenna planned and organized her tush off (packing each table's worth of decor/supplies in their own box for ease day of) but Blake and a few groomsmen did all the decorating day of!!

What was totally worth it?


All the time spent planning, organizing and preparing was worth it. So was pipe and drape and finding vendors that vibed with us was also worth it.

What was not worth it?


All the crying and worrying about the guest list and the seating chart!

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?


We threw traditions in the FIB!! Also favors!

How did Bridechilla help you plan your wedding?


Bridechilla kept me focus on what was important, gave me insight into what the dat would be like and gave me a sounding board for all the drama no one tells you about when you get engaged! Aleisha and the Chillas kept me sane and on track!

What advice do you have for other couples planning their weddings?

​Don't get bogged down in the details. Some things I fretted about during planning I didn't even think about on the day (we never actually used our cake topper that I spent countless hours comparing on Etsy and we also didn't use our custom snapchat geofilter, woops!)

Rockstar Vendors

​
Venue Lake Forest Beach and Tennis Club lfcarecreationdirector@elitehoa.com
Rentals Esmeralda ​ www.Linensbycelina.com
Photo Tracy Rhineheart ​ http://pineandsea.com/
Video Alexander Hoggard ​ https://www.achweddingfilms.com/
Floral Jenny Proppe ​ http://www.floralsbyjenny.com/
Food Petra https://www.yelp.com/biz/tacos-san-jose-santa-ana
Dessert Donnutery http://www.thedonutteryhb.com/
Staff Hostess Helpers http://www.hostesshelpersoc.com/
Officiant Dominique Woods dom.dwoods@gmail.com
DJ Deon Aumaier +17143175889 http://www.djdeon.info/profile/LL
Hair/Make up Julie Stoddard https://www.yelp.com/biz/julie-stoddard-hair-and-makeup-costa-mesa
Coordinator Jenny Monge

Insert Image
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla Blog

Learning to Love My Wedding Dress

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Bridechilla Chloe reached out to us to share her story. She was disappointed with the wedding dress that she chose, but the process was too far along to change her mind. So after a private cry, she started brainstorming ways to personalize her wedding day look and regain the love for her wedding dress.

Proposal? Perfect.

Ring? Heaven.

Fiancée? My soul mate.

Wedding planning? No, thanks.

My fiancée and I got engaged in March 2016. At that point, we had been together six years already, and I knew very early on that I wanted to marry him. What I didn’t know was that I did not want to plan a wedding.

It began with the obligatory post-proposal comments five minutes after we had shared our exciting news. Had we set a date? Was I going to be a vintage/modern/rustic/<insert adjective here> bride? What colour scheme had I chosen? Would my makeup complement the flowers and bring out the features of the room and make the Groom’s boutonniere POP! or accentuate the chair covers? 

Aside from wondering what the fuck a boutonniere was, I found all of these questions made me want to retreat, pay someone to organise everything and hibernate until the wedding day when I could show up, look pretty and have a good time.

Not only was paying someone to do everything out of my budget, but I also have some Type-A ‘I-like-to-be-in-control-and-everything-perfect’ tendencies that would not cope well with outsourcing.

So. I decided to start with the thing that I was most excited about… the dress.

I was never the girl who had dreamed about her wedding dress, so I was open to trying on anything and everything to find the right dress for me. My only ‘essential’ was that I had to feel comfortable and everything else was up for grabs. I went to a ‘Meet the Designer’ day at a bridal boutique and tried on several dresses. That was when I saw a dress in the most fabulous fabric I had ever seen. Even though the style wasn’t quite right, I was able to work with the designer to create a dress using that material and in a style I knew would work for me. I felt boring. 

My aforementioned Type-A personality was about to spontaneously combust at the thought of buying a dress I had never seen in full, but the designer drew the dress I envisaged, and I felt confident that I knew my style well enough for the dress to suit me.

Fast forward six months and I went to try on the (almost complete) dress for the first time.As I stared at myself in the mirror while the zipper was being fastened, I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of… blah.

There was nothing wrong with the dress. I loved the fabric, the fit, the buttons and the train. The designer, the shop assistants and my mother flapped about telling me how beautiful I was, but I just couldn’t get on board.It just didn’t meet the vision and expectation of what I thought it would look like.

No tears of joy, no visceral reaction to seeing myself in the dress I was going to be married in, just… nothing.

So there I was, standing in the bridal boutique with the dress on, feeling sorry for myself while trying to smile and pretend I was over the moon and in love with the dress.

ASOS BRIDAL High Neck Embellished Maxi Dress

ASOS BRIDAL Embroidered Cami Mesh Maxi Dress

If there were a Bridechilla test on what to do when you don’t like your dress, I would have passed this one with flying colours.

Instead of losing my shit in the store, I went home and allowed myself a few hours of self-pity, chocolate eating and gracefully shedding a single tear ugly-crying in private. After a bit of self-reflection, I realised quickly that I needed to get over myself. I had accepted that I wasn’t getting a new dress unless I was willing to pay another small fortune, so I had to get creative about how I would fall in love with this dress and how I could feel a bit more like me when I wear it on my wedding day.

Listen to a recent episode of Bridechilla, all about wedding dress stress

ASOS WEDDING MINI FLORAL VEIL HEADBAND

ASOS WEDDING FLOWER BACK HAIR CROWN

Hair Style

My hair is my thing. It always has been. It’s full of volume, does pretty much whatever you tell it to and my hairdressers seem to be obsessed with it. Most of the time, I have it up and out of my face and the day I tried the dress on was no different.

While I had the idea that I would wear my hair up on my wedding day, the minute I let it down, it transformed the look of the dress. It framed my face and changed the look of the neckline that I was so disappointed with.

Since trying the dress on again, I have decided to go with a half-up, half-down situation for the hair so that it is out of my face but has the ‘look’ that improves the dress.

Tip 1 – Be open to experimenting with a different hairstyle! You may very well find that the look you had your heart set on actually doesn’t do you or your outfit justice.

Talk to your hairdresser and get to know what is achievable for your hair and what would work for you, e.g. you would be disappointed if you paid $120 to have your hair styled into 1940s glamour waves only for them to drop 30 seconds after leaving the salon because your hair is too fine.

Listen to the professionals!

Also, listen to the advice of those you trust, to tell the truth about what suits you (not just those who have opinions and can’t keep them to themselves).

Make Up

I thought back to all the times I have had a bad hair or face day and what I do to give myself a bit of a szhoozh.

My go-to is a red lip. It draws attention away from anything I am trying to pretend isn’t happening, such as birds nest hair or the eternal dark circles under my eye. While I haven’t decided if I’ll channel T-Swizzle on my wedding day, I know it’s an option that would make me feel fabulous and boost my confidence.

Tip 2 – makeup can transform a look.

Get fun and get creative with makeup but be true to your style. Whether it’s a winged eye, Kimmy K-style contouring or some pouty lips, don’t try anything that you haven’t tried before and that doesn’t feel like you.

You don’t want to be looking back on your wedding in ten years’ time and ask yourself why you look like a clown.

Accessories

When I tried on my dress, I couldn’t help but think that something was missing. It is a beaded, structured masterpiece but it was still crying out for a lil’ something-something.I tried on a jewelled belt and statement earrings and found they transformed the look of the dress and made me feel a bit sassier and more like me. I could now see myself walking down the aisle in the dress with that belt and those earrings. They completed the look for me.The shop assistants at the bridal boutique almost fainted when I mentioned I was going to get married wearing flat shoes. But I haven’t worn a pair of heels for longer than an hour in a very long time. Why would I choose my wedding day to put myself through that kind of torture?

Comfort is so important to me, so I have managed to find some sweet flats online that will both be comfortable and match the art-deco vibe of my dress.

Badgley Mischka +Cara II Sandals

Kate Spade New York Keds Glitter Sneakers

Tip 3 – Have some fun with your accessories.

If you are wearing white, accessories are the perfect way to incorporate some colour into your look for the day. If you are following the ‘something old, something new’ tradition, your ‘something blue’ could be shoes, a sash or belt, or even some jewellery.

There is no need to go overboard with the accessories, though. Sometimes less is more, so consider how much you have going on around the top half of your dress before you add those earrings, that headpiece, a necklace and a veil.

Amaia Belt from Happily Ever Borrowed

Now, I am not saying that how you look is the most important thing about getting married. What is important is for me to feel like myself on my wedding day. After all, that’s who my fiancé fell in love with. So this is what I need to be at peace with the dress that didn’t make me cry tears of joy like they do in the TV shows.

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla Blog

Bridal Code of Conduct…do you need one?

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

By Bridechilla Allison
There’s been a lot of discussion on the podcast recently about bridesmaids, and I know that many bridechillas are having difficulty choosing their bridal parties or have horror stories about their bridesmaids being really terrible.
Any time relationships and communication come into play, there’s a potential for drama. Weddings are rife with stress, and any time emotions come out the claws can too. But I wanted to share my bridal party story with you because I think that some careful planning and consideration (and avoiding obligations at all costs!) can help make sure that on your wedding day you’re surrounded by people who really want to be there and who really support you.

A lot of us have a friend we’ve known since childhood who we’ve thought about having in our wedding since before that wedding was on the horizon. For me that’s my best friend. We’ve been friends since 4th grade, and we’re extremely close. I couldn’t imagine choosing anyone else as my lady of honor. But I’ve also been a bridesmaid a couple of times. And in both of those weddings, the maid of honor was the bride’s oldest friend, but not necessarily her best friend anymore. I think it’s totally natural to get swept up in the happiness and nostalgia that accompanies a wedding, but when you’re oldest friend lives far away (out of state in the case of my friend’s friends) and is totally consumed in her own life—there’s a big chance that it’s going to be hard for her to step up as maid of honor.
One of the maids of honor really ended up hurting my friend’s feelings and made her wedding just a little less happy and special than it could have been. Sometimes you choose this person anyway—if she’s really your best friend there’s no problem with that—but I think you have to be really open about your expectations. For instance, my bridesmaid (she hates this title and she’s choosing her own) lives all the way across the country in Washington DC. I knew that she probably wouldn’t be able to fly back for every party/event. But I did know that she was invested in being a part of celebrations and that she wanted to be involved in whatever way she could be. I knew when I asked her there was a chance she wasn’t going to be able to participate, and I had to be okay with that and give her the choice. However, she’s amazing and she told me in no uncertain terms that of course she was going to be involved.

I think that people will tend to step up and do what you need from them if you
a) make sure that they’re normally people who have your back,
and
b) you tell them what exactly it is you need from them.
A lot of bridesmaid drama comes from lack of communication—it’s a tough role to be at someone’s beck and call and not know what you need to do.
Your bridesmaids can’t read your mind, and it can’t just be your lady of honor who does all the communicating with the group. Not that you want to make demands—you want to have an open conversation.
When I asked everyone in the bridal party to stand up with me, I wrote each of them a letter talking about how important they are to me, and some of my favorite memories. I also included a Bridal Code of Conduct I wanted to be held to and wrote what I knew I needed from each of them: crafting help from the crafty lady of honor, someone to vent to from my bridesmaid who is the best listener, and someone in my corner from my bridesman (bridesdude?).
I talked about what kinds of parties there were going to be, what their individual duties might be, and I asked them to keep me on the straight and narrow.

via GIPHY

Choosing my third attendant was definitely the toughest part of the process. I really didn’t want to have more than three people standing up with me (just too many people to organize), so I had a dilemma on my hands. I could choose one of my fiancé’s sisters, but he has four of them, and I didn’t want to alienate any of them by making a choice between them. I could choose from one of my close group of friends, but there are three of them, and again I didn’t want there to be hurt feelings. So I decided to have my brother stand up with me. Originally the plan was for him to be a part of my fiancé’s side of things, but having my brother with me allowed my fiancé to have all four of his brothers stand up with him (uneven bridal parties really don’t bother us).
Having my brother as a bridesguy was an awesome decision. Yes, it makes some things more difficult, but I like being challenged to think about the “normal” way things are done and to question tradition.
We have to rethink the procession situation, but my bridesmaid doesn’t think she should have to be supported by one of the guys anyway, and I think she’s right.If you do have a bridesman, I think it’s really important to tend to their feelings. If anyone made my brother upset or uncomfortable there would be one angry sister up in someone’s business! My brother is going to participate in my shower, but he’s going to the bachelor party instead of the bachelorette party (whatever that ends up being. No one will tell me anything…).

I think it’s just all about having open lines of communication and respecting everyone’s feelings. As far as clothes go, since there are only two ladies in dresses (my brother is wearing a black suit like the rest of the guys), I asked them both to pick a knee-length black dress. I know they’ll both look great, and they’ll get to pick a dress that they can work into their budding professional wardrobes—everyone needs a little black dress. Not worrying about what they’re going to wear takes so much stress out of my life, and I know they’ll feel and look best in something that looks like them. I trust their taste and know they’ll pick something beautiful. They can wear any shoe they please and do their hair any way they like—I just want them to feel like themselves.I love my untraditional bridal party, and I’m really happy that they’re the ones that will be standing up with me. I think that challenging the standard way of doing things is great. When it comes to bridal parties, I’m all for throwing “have to” out the window and choosing the people you want.

Allison's blog
Allison's Etsy Store
Allison's instagram

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla BlogGuest Post

Watching ‘Father of the Bride’ as a 2017 Bride

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

By Bridechilla Michelle:
Can we talk about Father of the Bride for a minute?
Okay, so I grew up watching this awesome movie, with Steve Martin (awesome), Martin Short (awesome combo), and Diane Keaton (I mean, pretty awesome). If you haven’t seen it, go see it and then come back. When I watched this as an adolescent, this was a movie about a girl getting married whose dad goes pretty nuts over the whole thing and doesn’t want to let his daughter go.
As an adult woman planning her own wedding, Father of the Bride is about a great dad and small business owner who gets blindsided by his daughter’s engagement, and then has all of his financially responsible suggestions ignored by two wedding-crazed women and a planner who ends up with a HUGE commission AND he has to let his baby girl go.

So, quick rant:
1. Annie is 21 when she gets engaged. She has not yet graduated from college. She met her fiancé in Rome just a few months ago. So, naturally, her father is a bit concerned about the rush. As a kid, I was like “yeah, she can marry him if she loves him!” As an adult, (even though I’m only 23), I was sitting there like, “oh, honey… maybe see each other in the real world of bills and taking out the trash before you sign up for the rest of your life with him.” (If you’re getting married super soon after meeting on vacation, to each their own… but you make me a tiny bit nervous.)
2. George accepts their engagement (however ungraciously) and commits to paying for the whole thing (even though the groom’s parents are super duper rich and offered to help). It bums me out that society hasn’t caught up to the reality that this is not a change of ownership of a woman anymore. The bride works hard for her money just like the groom, but no matter how often that is said, tradition still expects the bride’s parents to pay for the bulk of the wedding. But, moving on…
3. Enter the wedding planner. It quickly becomes evident that Annie and her mom are looking to spend ALL THE MONEY on this wedding because it should be “nice”. And poor George is stuck going into shock at the thought of a thousand-dollar cake, swans, fish dinner for multiple hundreds of people, and flying in the groom’s relatives from overseas. And I’m sitting on my couch, freaking out for him, like “WHY does he have to pay for their airfare!! Is that a thing!!?” And who needs swans!? Who even does that!? This is turning into the least chilla wedding ever with the most obligation guests ever.

4. Then, for the rest of the movie, his wife makes him feel bad about not wanting to spend so much on a wedding. And I about lost it. I mean, good on you, mom, for being a business owner and doing well enough to have saved some money and built a nice life, but this is a hundred thousand dollar plus wedding! Get your head out of the wedding industry’s butt and listen to your husband’s serious concerns about finances!But she doesn’t, and George gets guilt-tripped into spending all the money.
5. Despite my annoyances with the wedding planning irresponsibility of this movie, when it actually came time for the wedding, I freaking sobbed. Like, loudly and messily. Because I love my dad, okay! And this movie is cute, however poor of a planning guide it may be.

6. The reception comes around, and the whole thing lasts about ten minutes in movie time. It flies by. It’s gorgeous, and ridiculous, and has a zillion people, and I hardly even remember it. Which I think is actually pretty accurate as to how most people see the actual day of the wedding. And poor George hardly got to enjoy it at all because he was too busy.
So, thank you for sticking with me throughout that rant, the point of which is that I wish Aleisha had been active and preaching in the nineties for this poor Father-Chilla who tried and failed to have his voice heard. Also, thank god that the times are sort of coming around to getting rid of waaaayy outdated traditions so we can all move on and be reasonable humans.

And love our dads because they’re great.-Sniff-The most helpful thing to me within this whole wedding planning process is giving myself permission to completely ignore the wedding industry brainwashing and opt for not spending all of our money. We do still need things like food, and hopefully a house in a few years. If you’re on this website and listening to Aleisha, you’re probably on a savvy track. The rest of the wedding-marketing world won’t help you out, but just breathe and know that you don’t have to buy all of the tat they tell you to buy.

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla Blog

Escape from the Wedding Planning Slump

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

By Bridechilla Michelle

After I got engaged, I told myself I was going to take the planning slow, have a super long engagement (since Ryan and I are only 23 and what’s the rush, right?) and not go crazy… Which I did... for about two weeks. Then I suddenly and without warning fell into a wedding planning black hole and started doing EVERYTHING.

I started using wedding wire to look at venues, pinning with a vigour I could not have previously imagined, becoming obsessed with vineyards, binging Bridechilla at work… and within about three days, I realized that this was going to cost way more than I thought a “reasonable” price would be. So I slowed down… a little. I still locked down my bridesmaids, wrote ALL THE LISTS, made budgets, pinned and pinned, researched and researched, and was feeling pretty good about it.
Two months after getting engaged, we toured my number one venue, which was perfect and had a discount for holiday weekends, so we booked it. Now we had our date and venue, but needed all the other stuff – which again, is way more stuff than I previously thought about.
My wedding philosophy quickly became something like, “If you’re going to spend a lot of money, get your money’s worth. But preferably don’t spend a lot of money.”
We’re not on a shoestring budget, but I refuse to go into debt over this or spend too much of our parents’ and our money on one day.After the awesomeness of the venue, I was all revved up with wedding glee. Our guest list was reasonable and had almost no obligation guests, we were going to be able to bring our own alcohol, and I had a day of coordinator option within the venue. I was a master at this planning thing, and I and continued researching and contacting other vendors. Then came the trouble.Photographers quickly made me depressed. All the ones with beautiful pictures either didn’t list a price (which is ANNOYING) or listed a price of $5,000 or more. Now, I am a designer and artist, and I get it. But as a person contemplating spending actual money, I just… got the sadness. I started looking into other options like using student photographers who charge way less, but my heart wasn’t in it.Then my fiancé and I adopted a one-year-old dog, and I was happily distracted from all things wedding (except thinking how cute Diego would look in a matching bow tie to Ryan’s). When I finally resurfaced from blissful new doggie world and started trying to get back into wedding stuff, I just really… didn’t want to.

The caterers I contacted kept taking ages to return my inquiries and were usually lacking what I consider basic email politeness. When I finally got quotes, those quotes made me sad, too. There was always something off about each caterer, so I gave up on that for a while.Since realizing how much wedding dresses cost, I have avoided actually looking into them. The ones that look omg-gorgeous-pinning-it-right-now cost way more than I want to spend on anything ever. I became tired of the repeated cycle of:
1) see pretty dress,
2) picture self in dress,
3) locate price of dress,
4) cry inside,
5) stop looking at dresses for a while.

So now I tell myself that once I lose 5 pounds (I KNOW, THAT’S NOT VERY CHILLA OF ME, BUT I GET ONE CRAZY THING, OKAY!?) I’ll go to actual stores and start trying things on in person. The concept that I heard on the podcast about buying a white-ish high end bridesmaid dress instead of a 5x more expensive “wedding gown” is probably going to work out for me, so thank you to whoever gave that tip. I sort of want to start doing invitation stuff, but the whole concept of invitations has come to annoy me and my bridechilla brain.
We’re ten months out, so invites aren’t urgent yet, but it’s a holiday weekend so guests should book hotels sooner than normal.If I can just rant for a minute, why does society expect me to message my friends and family via contact information I actually have on them (phone, email, and facebook), get them to tell me their address so I can send them a piece of paper, then spend money printing that piece of paper and mailing it, and then print another one months later because somehow the first one wasn’t enough of an invitation, then force all my friends to go to the post office and mail me that paper back, and then hope the post office didn’t lose any papers and count up all the people. Why can’t I just send people a nice digital invite and digital means of RSVPing in that initial digital message that I send them!? Why is the wedding industry such a paper snob!? So, yeah, I’m not motivated to do that either.
My backlog of side projects for the near future keeps creeping up on me and saying, “remember that tattoo idea you had? And that novel concept? And Diego is going to need a winter coat next month, you’d better sew one right now. Don’t forget about that painting idea you had! And you should visit your grandma. Oh, look, NETFLIX!”

So I sort of find myself in this slump where I really don’t want to go through any planning stuff. I wish a magic fairy who works for free would just fall out of the sky and say, “here’s a friendly and affordable caterer, and I called that DJ you like and he’s cool too, and don’t worry about centerpieces because I totally have a plan, and here’s ten thousand more dollars on a special wedding-only card! Now you can just talk excitedly with your bridesmaids and look forward to the party.

Ryan’s been helpful and has some opinions, but he only really cares about 20% of the wedding planning. Neither of our moms has the urge to give more input into the wedding than, “yeah, what you said sounds good, and let’s get a lot of wine,” so I don’t have anyone prodding me to keep moving on these decisions. Even my glorious lists in my nice designated wedding notebook aren’t really exciting me anymore.So… what do I do? I’m actually asking. I can’t be the first bride who just got tired of the whole thing.Here’s my shortlist of possible solutions that I will try to get things moving again:
1. Write this post. Hopefully determined thought specifically about weddings will get me in the grove again. But I’m almost done writing and I don’t feel any magic sparks… so this may not have worked.
2. Diet and run with my little dog to lose those five pounds so my arms look like the arms I had last year, then visit a dress store (though not one that keeps using words like “boutique” and “chandeliers” because if I see too many huge price tags I’m just going to lose it). Hopefully my estrogen and girl brain will kick in and the prettiness will super charge me.
3. Suck it up and lock down one vendor. My likely photography prospect is a student photographer relative who is going to send me some pictures from the wedding she’s shooting this month, so if all looks well, I’ll make up a contract with her and that piece of the puzzle will be solved. Maybe checking another box off my lists will be satisfying enough to keep me going again.
4. Make the wedding website. This should be something my designer soul enjoys, so I’m hoping that the desire to have more information to put into the website will make me actually gather and secure that information.
5. Test out sangria/cocktail recipes (because fun!) for use as our signature drink… mainly just because we love sangria cocktails and I can sort of use the wedding as an excuse to feel fancy and creative by mixing lots of them in my tiny kitchen.… That’s all I’ve got.
Please, if you have been in a slump and escaped it or if you’re just a genius who has ideas on getting past the slump, tell me what they are! I’m stuck and a little sad. Weddings are hard.I hope this post delivers me with other bridechillas’ ideas to get un-stuck, and maybe makes other slumped brides feel better about their own non-wedding-motivation, because this is a lot of shit and I just want to take naps with my dog.

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla BlogGuest Post

Super wedding planning- The Bridechilla Rose way- Part 2

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

DIAL YOUR WEDDING PLANNING UP TO ELEVEN...THE BRIDECHILLA ROSE WAY! 

In yesterday's bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Rose showed just how quickly you can make BIG wedding planning decisions!  Girl is getting stuff done and she's not finished yet. Today she shares some valuable advice about using your existing vendors to find more vendors (word of mouth is Queen!), the often costly price of trying on wedding dresses and how to prioritise DIY and hiring pros!

Photography
Here we were very lucky. I happened to work as a wedding photographer's assistant for a few years before uni. For a woman who also happens to be my mums best friend! Emma Coleman at Blink Photography.
I love Emma and I wouldn't have anyone else photographing our wedding. Emma is basically part of my family and has been a part of my life for so many years! She's so relaxed and has the perfect style to capture our day. We asked her to photograph our wedding, and happily she said yes!! Our photographer will also be one of our wonderful guests, which makes me insanely happy!

Bridechilla Rose and her fiancé Richard

Image by Emma Coleman at Blink Photography


Dress.
I don't want to give too much away here! But I've been to 3 dress shops already, and have 3 more lined up! I have already loved one dress, but don't think it can hurt to look around.
Research was key here! Once I'd been to one shop, I had more of an idea of what I wanted. From that it was easier to look up designers (in the budget!) and hunt down shops in London that stock them. (Although, a lot of central London wedding dress boutiques do charge an appointment fee. These have ranged from £20 to £75 to just try dresses on!
My tip is to do your research and try to find shops a bit further out of central London. Greater London is key here for saving a bit of money. That £75 could be spent on so many other things!) I've also bought my wedding shoes from Zara. I've never been a shoes girl. I hate them to be honest. So plain white (with some see through bits) Zara heels are what I've gone for. Shoes were never a priority for me and no one will see them anyway!

Stationery.
As a designer, I have an advantage here! Over the last few months I've designed our save the dates and researched printers, along with colours, printing techniques... Etc. Our save the dates have now been sent off to the printers and should be with us any day now!

I've dabbled in modern calligraphy for about a year now, and it's really come in handy here! Richard did have to sit through a number of painful evenings with me asking about paper colours and stocks, but I think it will be worth it! (Hopefully he'll agree too!).

Music.
Peckham Asylum actually has a list of suppliers which you can choose to use if you wish...one of which is a music company called.. Craft Music. They were so helpful in discussing the type of music we had in mind for the ceremony and what feel we wanted... We didn't really have a clue to begin with! We're in the process of booking the ceremony music at the moment and I couldn't recommend the company anymore! They've been fantastic!
*If you are searching for advice on wedding music, check out this episode of the Bridechilla Podcast. 

Hair and make up.
Similar to our wonderful photographer Emma! My mum has some wonderful friends! One who just happens to be a hair and make up artist and who has offered to make me up on the day! Will keep everyone updated with how that goes.....

Cake
Had a few contacts (through Emma!) and we now have a cake tasting booked in the next few months & a few other quotes in my inbox! I'm hoping for gooseberry jam, as I absolutely love gooseberries. We already have our cake topper from etsy too! As I totally fell in love with a fox and bunny topper, and I just had to have it! (We have a bit of a fox obsession!)

Honeymoon.
We've booked a hotel for me (and my parents) the night before our wedding in Pimlico, so nearish distance to the venue. I would have ideally liked to stay at home and get ready in the family house, but sadly it's just too far away. We chose the Artists Residence in Pimlico for the night before (and our first night as husband & wife, as we really didn't want to go back to our flat!). It's a homely hotel, that will hopefully make me feel as relaxed as possible, without being in familiar surroundings!
Our actual honeymoon is still in discussion. This may be the last thing we book!

Transport.
We've hired a bus! Of course! What better way to ferry people around than on a good old fashion london transport?
I've always pictured us having a bus somewhere in the day and I actually took a bus to prom!
Keeping with the theme! So, our guests from the north will get to enjoy the real (ish!) London experience of the double decker red bus!

Exercise
Last one! Most people do yoga to relax, or some sort of cardio.. But I like to walk. So I've upped my walking and I'm loving it! Sadly, work is slightly too far to get to by foot, but I walk half the way and then tube the rest. I'm trying to do 10,000 a day at least.
On Saturday Richard and I walked to crystal palace and managed 22,000 steps!
Happy days!
Phew! I think that's it. Time for a G&T now I think!
Well done if you've got this far down...It's been a bloody busy 4 months, and I feel like we've dealt relatively well! (Richard more than myself!) but, even though sometimes it's overwhelming, it's lovely to plan this day and our future together.
Will continue on a later date as we try to get a handle on the rest of everything. Mainly booking someone to actually marry us!
(Did you know you can't book a registrar in the UK until a year to the date?! So annoying!)
Off to the wedding fair at excel mid sept! Preparing for the craziness of that!!!
Chat then! Bridechilla(ish!) Rose.
xxxx

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail