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A burnt white wedding dress & broken heels! 10th vow renewal in Hawaii

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Chip and Nina where the ultimate Bridechilla and Groomchilla and didn’t let a burnt dress and a broken heel get in the way of celebrating their 10-year vow renewal in beautiful Hawaii. They kept calm and carried on celebrating with their family and beautiful children. 
Photographer Harold from Alvea Studios captured all of the drama, colour and joy of their very memorable vow renewal day.

We've heard of being prepared for anything but...

Imagine this…a wonderful decade of marriage has passed. You and your partner have been through a lot of unforgettable memories and checked off a bunch of items from your bucket lists. Now, you decide its time to renew your wedding vows. You plan ahead of time and book a flight to Hawaii with your closest relatives.

YOU ARE VERY EXCITED.

Fast forward to the big day – you wake up really early to prepare. Everything is going smoothly until you iron your dress and BURN it!

Yes, that gorgeous, white dress.

You try to fix it but nothing else can be done.

You think “this can be fixed with photoshop”.

You have a photo shoot scheduled before your ceremony. You are rushing because you are way behind your schedule. You meet your photographer and start walking. In literally just 10 seconds, your heels snapped.

It’s broken. “Are you kidding me?” is an understatement for what you really feel. Then, a bright ray of light suddenly shines on your peripheral view – it’s a ROSS dress for less store – and they are open

The iron burn in Nina's dress was a tiny blip in a joy filled day!

As luck would have it there was a ROSS store nearby!

If this happened to you, how would you handle it? 

This was what happened to Chip & Nina and hands down, they were one of the coolest couples I met. 
They managed to handle everything very patiently and gracefully. 
Nina just shook it off. It actually made the day extra special and memorable!

Exploring the colour and vibrancy of Kakaako 

We went for a walk in Kakaako, downtown Honolulu to take some shots on these amazing murals. It was very colorful just like their story. The ceremony was very intimate and emotional. It's just them and the ocean. You can really feel the love that binds their family. They trusted me to take photos and videos for this special day. Fun fact: it’s my birthday too! I feel very honored to have spent my day with this beautiful family and witness their love.

Celebrating with family with the tradition of the lei

Nina and Chip presented traditional Hawaiian lei to their family and children.
A lei is a common symbol of love, friendship, celebration, honor, or greeting. In other words, it is a symbol of Aloha.

Chip and Nina's Rockstar Vendors

Photographer and Videographer - Harold Alvea
Restaurant- Tommy Bahama Restaurant
Emergency shoes (!)- Ross Discount Store

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345- Bridechilla Money Saving Tips Part 2

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

In Part 2 of Bridechilla Best money Saving Tips, Aleisha shares some of the Bridechilla Communities most successful ways to think laterally when it comes to getting bargains and using their budget in the most productive and best way possible (and your guests will never notice the difference). If you missed Part 1, be sure to check it out for more tips.
You don’t have to spend loads of money to have the wedding of your dreams. So tune in to hear some creative and practical ideas for saving money while planning your wedding. 

Listen to the Bridechilla episode

Wedding dresses don't have to cost as much as a car

I got my dress second hand at this bridal consignment shop. What should have been $1200 ended up only costing $600 and I can sell it back to the same store when I'm done. We also utilized coupons like crazy. We slowly built up our DIY crafts by using the 50% coupons at Michaels and a local wedding coupon book. Bridechilla Chelse

I fell in love with a gown at BHLDN but it was way out of my desired price range, especially accounting for alterations. I checked Poshmark and found the exact dress, altered to my EXACT height, in my exact size, for HALF of the new price (before alterations). Plus, I love that I was able to help a gal recoup some wedding costs! We both won.
Bridechilla Rochelle 

I know hiring a dress is a HUGE money saver for a lot of people - but for those who, for whatever reason, may prefer to buy it, I got just over £1000 off my wedding dress because it was “last season” (who knew that could be a thing for wedding dresses)! This was at the end of the summer when the shops were looking to get rid of old stock to free up space on the rack. It’s a sample size (which tend to be about a UK 12 I think) so less choice in terms of size, but it might help a few people!
Bridechilla Harriet

Money Saving tips Wedding Dress Shopping- Rack BridechillaPhoto by Charisse Kenion

A Wedding Cake doesn't have to 'look' like a wedding cake!

FH and I wanted to get our cake from his favorite bakery in Boston but it would be $1200 for a wedding cake to feed the number of people we’re having. The solution? Buy regular cakes. We’re having a small cutting cake and ordering half sheet cakes for the rest. Total cost? About $350. That’s almost a 75% savings and we’re getting the same delicious cake, just sans tiers. 
Bridechilla Rochelle 

A Waffle wedding cake? Yes please? 

Also instead of having a wedding cake neither of us care about, were having a stack of waffles, that we can make ahead of time and freeze, then defrost and decorate nearer the day. It'll probs cost us £80 including buying a waffle maker (that I will use daily because waffles ♥️)
Bridechilla Kat

Money Saving tips

Photo by Christin Hume

For many Bridechillas, a long engagement is the key to planning a budget friendly wedding

Biggest tip that is totally not doable/desirable for everyone, just something we fell into and it has been SO worth it - long. Engagement.
We are 17 months into a 27 month engagement. We didn't plan it that way. We became engaged in 2017 and with other family weddings in 2018, pushed the wedding to 2019. So so sooooo worth it.

Stress has been minimal: everything is basically planned and ready to go, we were able to take our time deciding on vendors and aesthetic, didn't feel rushed to make any decisions, etc. And financially it is AWESOME - we just finished saving up our entire budget last week! We will be able to pay for our entire wedding in CASH.

The biggest thing was I was able to take note of all the sales from places I wanted to get decor from and could wait until they happened again the following year. That way I wasn't rushing into buying stuff but could REALLY know what I wanted and still get it on sale!

Also, have a bunch of time to do all the DIY my heart desires without stressing about it. I started making robes for my bridal party a month ago and then life happened again and I got busy. But next month I'll have more free time, and I don't feel pressured because I still have 10 months to finish them! Centerpieces are almost done, and they'll just be sitting in a box until August, which is fine with me - at least they'll be DONE.

Now with 10 months to go, we're keeping up our budget habits (picking up side jobs when we can, cooking at home more, putting every extra penny into savings, etc.) So we can do a mini-moon after the wedding, and a totally kick-ass honeymoon in 2020 ?

Yeah, sometimes I just want to be MARRIED UGH. But it will be so worth it when we walk away from the big day completely debt free!
Bridechilla Sarah

Wedding Budgeting- Money Saving tips

Photo by Toa Heftiba

Aleisha's money saving Takeaways

  • Join EBATES! It's a money saving cash back website that will give you big discounts (extra coupons) and cash back on many of your online purchases 
  • Plan before you buy. Take your time. Don't feel rushed.  It will be there tomorrow and if it's not you will find something else!
  • Think laterally when it comes to buying decor and attire...it doesn't have to be labeled 'wedding' to be a part of your wedding!
  • Consider renting whatever you can (and don't want to sell or keep later)! It's good for your budget and good for the environment.

Thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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344-Bridechilla Money Saving Tips Part 1

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Are you ready for some money saving tips? Wedding planning can be expensive. It’s easy to burn through your budget and overspend without even realizing it. But the Bridechilla podcast is here to help. On this episode, Aleisha shares money saving tips from here on extensive experience as well as from you, the listeners. You don’t have to spend loads of money to have the wedding of your dreams. So tune in to hear some creative and practical ideas for saving money while planning your wedding.

Listen to the episode

Nifty Thrifty Thrift Store Shopping

What better place to be thrifty than at a thrift store. Many wedding items can be found at second hand stores. While it might take some work convincing yourself that not everything you use in your wedding has to be new, you might find that you’ve saved a lot of money by taking this approach. One listener shares how she saved money on table decorations and serving dishes by buying some classy, gently used items from a local thrift store.

Stop. Think. Buy?

In the excitement of planning your wedding and purchasing items for your special day, it is easy to give in to impulse buying. However, purchasing without planning can blow your budget and leave you with a bunch of stuff that you might not even need. So how can you avoid giving in to this very real temptation? During the podcast, Aleisha discusses how to plan before purchasing, and how to prioritize substance over stuff. Sometimes just a moment of clarity and thought can save you from unnecessary purchases and buyers regret.

Photo by Jordan Arnold

Saving money while saving the planet

One unique way to save money on your wedding is to plan a sustainable, environmentally friendly wedding. Rather than using items that will just be thrown away after the wedding, consider decorating or serving with items that can either be reused or given away following the ceremony. There are creative ways to plan a sustainable wedding and you don’t have to make a big fuss about it. Listen to some great listener tips for how to be environmentally friendly and save money during this episode.

More Money Saving Tips

Just because you want to save money doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice your dreams. It also doesn’t mean you are cheap. Aleisha encourages making room in your budget for splurge items. Decided with your partner what are non-negotiables and build your budget around those items. Then find unique ways to budget for the other details that aren’t as important. The Bridechilla podcast community has some great ideas that they share during this episode. Listen now for more wedding planning money saving tips. And get ready for part two next week.

Photo by Marisa Morton

Show Highlights

  • [0:56] What do you do to save money during wedding planning?

  • [3:57] Saving money on decor and flowers

  • [8:00] Because impulse buying can break the bank, here are some tips to help you think before you buy

  • [11:08] How planning an environmentally friendly, sustainable wedding can save money

  • [14:30] A listener shares how she saved money by taking advantage of the talents and resources friends and family have

  • [16:55] Work with your partner to determine what splurge items you want to get for your wedding

  • [24:53] Test your future marriage and save money in the process by shopping at Ikea for wedding items

  • [30:00] Utilizing the apps Honey and Ebates

Memorable Quotes

  • “Thrift stores, church sales and garage sales have a lot to offer and they are a good activity to do with your future spouse.”

  • “Look at the people around you and don’t try to go for the glitz and the glam because it’s really your day for your friends and family to celebrate your love.”

  • “For my wedding purchases, I never buy before walking away and thinking.”

  • “No one ever talks about post-wedding clean up and all the shit that you end up taking back to your house or apartment, and then going ‘what the hell am I going to do with all this stuff.’”

  • “It feels so good to literally delete entire rows of from quote typical wedding budget spreadsheets.”

Show image by Emma Frances Logan

Thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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338- Bridechilla Alcohol Wedding Planning Q&A

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

When it comes to alcohol and weddings, there are lots of decision to be made. If you are self-catering (or can provide your own alcohol) how much do you buy? What if your guests aren't big drinkers? What if you don't like wine? Can you return alcohol that isn't used?
I am joined by the lady with all of the answers in this Bridechilla wedding alcohol Q&A episode, Jacki Strum, founder of ThirstyNest, first wine & spirits registry for the modern couple.

Listen to Bridechilla episode 338

Why "Stock-the-Bar" Parties Are the Next Big Wedding Trend

As you may have noticed, the current generation of brides and grooms are get married significantly later than their parental counterparts. This change in turn has created a new trend in lieu of a traditional Bridal Shower called “Stock-the-Bar Parties.” After all, you probably already have a toaster and dish towels.

What is a Stock-the-Bar Party? This super fun alternative is perfect if you've already created a home with your fiancé. Rather than registering for things you may already have or don’t need, you can register for your entire home bar and wine collection. Wouldn't you rather a bottle of bubbly than a gravy boat? Below is a breakdown of how we would recommend setting up your gift registry for the perfect Stock-the-Bar Party with ThirstyNest – the first wine and spirits registry for the modern couple.

Bridechilla Alcohol Wedding Planning Q&A

Photo by Jacalyn Beales

Wine

Add a mix of both special age-worthy wines and casual options. For the age-worthy wines, about a case worth (12 bottles) is the right amount. You'll only need a small to moderate wine fridge for safekeeping, and it's easy to move. There's something so special about saving bottles to open together for a special occasion. Some of my favorites would be Cristal Champagne 2009 Louis Roederer for a one-year anniversary or Robert Mondavi 2013 Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon for a 5-year anniversary.

As for everyday wines, it's all about whatever the couple likes, which is what makes the registry such a great tool. They can make their selection really personal. I like to have my favorite workhorse wines around that pair with all different kinds of dishes and occasions. That includes dry rosé like Belle Glos 2016 Sonoma Pinot Noir Blanc — which is just as fitting for a trip to the beach as it is with a holiday meal. Lastly, some lovely Oregon Pinot like this Sokol Blosser 2015 Dundee Hills Estate Pinot Noir, that can be enjoyed with lean meat dishes or even a hearty vegetarian meal.

Bridechilla Alcohol Wedding Planning Q&A

Spirits

On the spirits side, as with anything wedding related, it really depends on your personal taste as a couple. My recommendation would be a good mix of cocktail essentials and some dram-worthy brown spirits. On the cocktail end — a great vodka, gin, whiskey, and tequila, along with your stirring mixers such as vermouth and Campari, are a good place to start to build your bar. In the sipping neat section, I like to have one fantastic bourbon and one classic smoky Scotch.

Drinkware

As for the serving tools, the absolute must-haves would be a great set of wine glasses, a wine opener, and some cocktail tools. This 16-piece wine glass set ($220 for set of 16 glasses) is gorgeous and comes with a 10-year warranty in case you break a glass. That means you can feel comfortable using them on a weeknight or with company. I love a gorgeous personalized wine opener and decanter along with a good set of cocktail tools and glasses.

Bridechilla Alcohol Wedding Planning Q&A

Photo by Alexandra Golovac 

Storage

Lastly, a place to put all of those amazing gifts! For wine, there are a variety of wine fridges and racks available that range in size to fit a collection from 6 to 300 bottles. A good place to start would be in the 32-bottle range so you can store your gifts with a little room to grow. For spirits and tools, bar carts are especially fabulous and you can even find one that works for a small-space living.

Hosting a Stock-the-Bar Party is the perfect solution for today’s couple. You can level up on your ability to entertain while creating new experiences with your friends and family. Don't worry: setting up the registry will be almost as fun as enjoying your gifts with ThirstyNest. Feel free to reach out with any questions to help you get started at hello@thirstynest.com.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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A Canadian Bridechilla (Politely) Goes Rogue

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

A Canadian Bridechilla (Politely) Goes Rogue

Greetings, Bridechillas!

My name is Carolyn and I am a bride-to-be from Canada. My fiancé Mike and I are getting hitched in about 9 months and we are PUMPED!
We live in Toronto, Ontario but our wedding is going to be in Hubbards, Nova Scotia, close to where Mike grew up. Planning from afar has come with its own set of challenges, but we are trying to take it all in stride and enjoy the process.

Let me tell you the story of how we went rogue with our wedding planning before we even got engaged.

How, you might ask? In an act that put the cart squarely before the horse, we committed to a wedding date and venue based only on photos we had seen on the Internet. Several months before we got engaged. I’ll pause to let that all sink in.

A bit of background: Neither one of us is really the rule-breaking type. I suppose we both have a mildly stubborn streak that doesn’t take kindly to being told to do something just because it’s been done that way in the past, but we are also cautious, indecisive, and risk-averse by nature.

At the time of our fateful venue selection, we had been living together for close to a year and had long since set our sights on a future together. At the same time, we were enjoying life in our little bubble and didn’t particularly want to start investing our time in planning a wedding. About 6 months before we got engaged, we were in the midst of making breakfast on a lazy Sunday when the topic of our eventual wedding location came up. Being from different provinces, we both knew that one (or both) sides of the family would have to travel a significant distance to join us for the wedding. I had my heart set on a barn venue and decided to poke around online to see what was available. Lo and behold, the perfect venue appeared before our eyes. All of the other options evaporated in an instant: this was our venue!

Photo by Tiko Giorgadze​

Before long, our excitement turned to dread. What if they ran out of dates for the following summer before we were ready to book? I decided that there wouldn’t be any harm in e-mailing the venue, just to confirm that they had a multitude of dates left to choose from. Bad idea. We soon learned that there were only a few dates left that fit with what we wanted. Within days, we had committed to a wedding date and venue without actually visiting the venue in person.

Not long after we got engaged, we had a chance to go and see the location in person and it was even better than what the pictures showed online! Emboldened by our success, we had soon booked our photographer, day-of-coordinator, and caterer without stepping outside the comfort of our home.

Even if you are getting hitched in the same city that you live in, I think there’s something to be said about allowing yourself to make some choices, big and small, without torturing yourself. I’ve seen wedding checklists that suggest meeting with at least three photographers before making a final decision. By all means, if that is a step you need to take to know that you are making the right choice, go for it! We all have our own process. However, don’t let a checklist dictate how you should be making your choices. There is no one right way to plan a wedding.

If you are thinking of skirting a rule or two, it is important that you don’t go in blindly. For that reason, I have compiled some tips for all of you rogue Bridechillas out there who are thinking of bending or breaking some wedding planning rules:

How to Get Away With Being a Rogue Bridechilla

1. Make sure you know what you are getting yourself into.

The consequences of making rash or uninformed decisions in the wedding planning process can be emotionally and financially catastrophic. As unconventional as our decision may have been, we did our homework before jumping in. This also wasn’t my first rodeo – as someone who has been a bridesmaid/MOH many times over, I went in with a solid understanding of what questions to ask and what to be cautious of. We spent a very tedious day fleshing out a potential budget and researching typical cost breakdowns to make sure that this exciting step forward wasn’t the first step towards the edge of a plank. We read the contract as if we were signing our lives away. Be bold, not cavalier.

Photo by Soroush Karimi 

2. Use online resources to your advantage.

Yes, choosing a venue without seeing it in person (or choosing any vendor from afar) can be risky. We mitigated our risks seeking out photos from other weddings that took place at our venue. I scoured Pinterest and local photographers’ websites to find wedding albums and ended up with about a dozen to draw from - by the time we booked, I knew every nook and cranny. A few of the albums I found had been featured in wedding blogs, complete with cost breakdowns that gave us extra confidence that the venue would fit within our budget

3. When something doesn’t feel right, run.

Early on in our planning process, we considered using a food truck to cater our wedding. We spoke with a local food truck owner who gave us an impassioned speech about how he’d be able to feed our entire group for a fraction of the cost and how the other caterers were just trying to rip us off. He turned out to be as flaky as the delicious pastries he said he could make for our wedding. We rightfully got spooked and jumped ship before making any sort of financial commitment. We are thrilled with the caterer we eventually chose (Certainly Cinnamon) and are happy to spend the extra cash for the peace of mind of knowing that we can rely on them. We also learned our lesson. In the time since, we’ve made sure to set clear expectations early on and move on as soon as we get bad vibes.

4. Make sure you and your partner are both on the same page.

For the love of god, please do not suggest booking a wedding venue before you get engaged unless you are 100% sure that your partner will be on board with the idea. We spent almost a year in advance of choosing our venue talking about how excited we were to eventually get married. He had asked for my ring preferences and we had jointly decided on having our wedding in the summer of 2017. Heck, we were practically engaged already, minus the down-on-one-knee part. One of Mike’s work colleagues told him later that I must’ve wanted to speed along the engagement, hence my suggestion to book the venue before the engagement. While this wasn’t true in our case, I can see that taking a step like this could be more trouble than it’s worth for some couples. Proceed with caution. The same goes for all non-traditional decisions. Make sure you can both live with the worst-case scenario.

5. Enjoy the benefits of making bold choices.

One unexpected benefit of having a venue chosen already was that we had an answer to the first question everyone asks when you first get engaged! It sure helped us to stay relaxed and in the moment as we told everyone about our engagement.

Good luck all of you rule-breakers!

-Carolyn

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309: In sickness and in Health with Carly Findlay

by Carly Findlay
written by Carly Findlay

Recently I invited the Bridechilla community to share how health (their own, their partner or family and friend's health) have factored into wedding planning decisions.
We had a wonderful response that really showed to me how little we talk about these issues in relation to weddings and the strength and support of The Bridechilla Community.

This episode's guest is writer, appearance activist and Bridechilla Graduate, Carly Findlay. She challenges people's thinking about what it's like to have a visibly different appearance and is a wealth of information particularly from her perspective, living with the skin condition, Ichthyosis.

Listen to episode 309 of Bridechilla

Our Wedding Day

I got married to Adam in March 2016 – almost two years ago. The Bridechilla podcast (it was then called Save the Date) was so helpful in my planning. I got lots of ideas – like donating the money we could have spent on bonbonniere to charity,  taking my flowers to an aged care home the day after, and celebrating my personal style (lots of colour) on the wedding day. There were a few other things I needed to consider, too. You see, I live with a rare, severe, lifelong skin condition called Ichthyosis. My skin is red, itchy, scaly and painful, and can be unpredictable – especially when excitement like weddings and travel are involved. I identify as being disabled and chronically ill. I write about it, speak about and can’t hide it – so it’s a big, proud part of my life. And it took a long time to reach this level of self acceptance and pride – and even acceptance from others. I’d dated and kissed a lot of ableist toads before I met Adam.

I didn’t get sick (skin-sore) before the wedding, but afterward, I was very unwell. My skin was in pain during our ​mini-moon – a quick coastal getaway on the long weekend after our wedding. My skin was throbbing and I couldn’t walk far. I slept and bathed instead of meandering through the streets. I worried I was a burden to Adam. I had three weeks holiday from work after the wedding, and most of that was spent in bed dosed up on painkillers and wrapped in wet bandages. I then had a further week off. So sore. It was the rollercoaster of emotions, the planning along juggling a full-time job, freelance work and my health, and the thud of the  “now what??” after the wedding that contributed to my Ichthyosis exacerbating. The same level of pain happened after we returned from our honeymoon seven months later!

I had a manicure and pedicure – after a little drama of one business not wanting to touch my skin without gloves because they thought I was contagious, and then they didn’t have vinyl gloves on hand. I had to speak loudly in the salon that I’m not contagious, and everyone looked. I left. Sigh. Why does it have to be so hard?! I eventually found a great nail salon and sat in a massage chair while my hands and feet were pampered. I provided my own gloves.

Disability and chronic illness (and mental illness) are not spoken about a lot when it comes to weddings. Yet it affects so many of us.

Here are a few tips that I’d give Bridechillas (or Groomchillas) if you are disabled or chronically ill:

Get as much rest as you can before and after the wedding. Weddings are tiring. You want to be well on the big day, but you also want to be well afterward.

Don’t do something on your wedding day that you wouldn’t do in real life. I hate the outdoors – and get cold and hot easily. So of course we didn’t have an outdoor ceremony. We also considered beach photos at sunset because they’d be pretty, but then chucked it in the FIB because it would have been a rush, and Adam and I never go to the beach anyway!

Talk to your vendors about your accessibility needs. I asked my celebrant if we could have two chairs on the stage so that Adam and I could sit down when the talking was happening. I also talked to the venue about lighting and heating that would make me comfortable.

If disability or chronic illness is part of your identity, don’t hide it. I choose not to hide my skin condition. But I could wear makeup if I really wanted to. However, makeup would hurt, and Adam and my family and friends love me the way I look. So I didn’t alter the way I looked for anyone – especially for my own comfort. If you use a mobility aid, or have an insulin pump, and you’re comfortable with it, let it be seen on the day and in photos. Representation matters – and a future Bridechilla seeing you rocking your disability or chronic illness on your wedding day might make all the difference to them.

Ask your guests about their accessibility needs. When there’s a ramp to get in the door, and an accessible toilet, it shows everyone is welcome.

Wear something that is comfortable for you. You don’t have to forgo the style and glamour – but you also don’t have to suffer for fashion. I had a long sleeved lace shrug made for wearing over my first wedding dress (because I always keep my arms covered), and had a soft jersey fabric band made for wearing  under the bodice of my dress so the boning wouldn’t hurt me.

Ask your favourite singer to sing at your wedding. Give them enough notice and they might say yes! Mine did!

I write at carlyfindlay.com.au, Facebook (www.facebook.com/tune.into.radio.carly), Instagram (Instagram.com/carlyfindlay) and Twitter (twitter.com/carlyfindlay).

Carly and Adam's wedding photography by Fresh Photography.

Show image  by Ariel Lustre on Unsplash

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306: Little Wedding Details That Make a Big Difference

by Erica Greenwold Reisen
written by Erica Greenwold Reisen

Sometimes it’s the little details that make a big difference especially when you are focusing on planning a big event like a wedding. In this episode of the Bridechilla Podcast, I’m joined by wedding coordinator and planner Erica Greenwold Reisen from Folie à Deux Events who shares some of the most essential smaller details that are often forgotten or left to the last minute that will make your wedding plans run smoother.

Listen to episode 306 of Bridechilla

Catering & Bar Setup

Non-traditional venues often will require renting items such as tables, chairs, and sometimes even coolers or hot boxes to ensure that your food remains at the proper temperature until it is served.
When you are visiting and considering venues, an often overlooked detail is where and how your caterers and bar will be set up. One of your questions while touring the venue should be where do caterers usually set up shop and what amenities are available for the caterers to use. Some venues have full kitchens, others simply have a catering prep or staging area, and some venues have no such thing at all, leaving caterers to set up in tents outdoors or create their own makeshift prep areas. This is a particular issue at non-traditional or atypical event venues and historical properties that do not specialize in weddings. It may even be a good idea to visit the venue with your caterer well in advance of the wedding so that they can formulate a game plan for setup, staging, and serving. 

Ok, now onto the bar. Where does the bar usually set up in your venue? Is there water or a sink to rinse glassware? Who will tend bar and who provides the booze? Who gets the liquor license? What about liability insurance? These are all questions that must be asked upfront and can significantly affect the overall costs of your bar. 

BONUS: Who supplies your place settings and serving dishes? Some caterers include this in their quotes while others do not. You will likely need to rent plates, silverware, glassware, etc... discuss this with your bartender as well, they may provide glassware for bar service, and they may not. 

Photo by Sweet Ice Cream Photography 

Marriage License & Officiants

This may seem silly, but getting legally married is kind of the whole point of this shindig, and yet it is something we get questions about all the time. The two key details you need to make sure are in order are your marriage license and that you have an officiant who can legally perform the marriage. 

Every county/state/country/jurisdiction is going to potentially have different processes and rules for getting a marriage license. The best thing to do is hit up Google to find out what local department handles marriage licenses in your area and then pick up the phone or pay them a visit to get the details. Government websites are often hard to navigate and it will be significantly less hassle to just talk to a live person.

Photo by Ben White

The same goes for your officiant. Counties/States/Countries all have different laws about what makes a person qualified to legally perform your marriage. Before you assume your friend can get "ordained" online and do the wedding, check with your local government as to what rules they have regarding ordination and whether they recognize online or non-religious officiants. If all else fails, you can perform the legal part of the ceremony at the courthouse ahead of the wedding and then do what you want for the public ceremony.
Do not leave either of these things to the last minute - they are the most crucial parts of your wedding!

Photo by Nicole Honeywill

Listen to episode 306 of Bridechilla

Event Insurance & Risk Assessment

Some venues will require you to get Event Insurance, and others will not... but regardless of whether it is required, it is always a good idea and not very expensive. Not convinced? The best thing to do when you are determining the risks and your potential liability is to do an Event Risk Assessment. Many wedding planners include this in their services, but you can perform one yourself using this handy spreadsheet! The purpose of an Event Risk Assessment is to identify possible areas where things could go wrong and create a game plan to remove or mitigate that risk. This will help you get an idea of what kind of wedding insurance you should get and what levels of coverage you will need. 

Bathrooms!

The most glamorous detail of wedding planning! Are there enough bathrooms to accommodate all of your guests comfortably. This should not be an issue for a traditional event space that was built with the purpose of hosting large events, but it can be an issue with non-traditional and atypical or historic venues. Ask your venue upfront if you will need to arrange for additional bathroom facilities because this can end up being a big ticket item. There are lots of options at a wide range of price points, but generally speaking, for a wedding you will want to do a nicer bathroom trailer with flushing toilets and sinks for handwashing. 

Photo by cindy baffour 

Directions and Parking Information

Usually I advocate for trusting your guests to be adults and handle themselves as such... but it is also kind to give them a little direction and guidance. Provide your guests with some information on where to park and how to get to your venue on your wedding website, or in printed directions that are sent with your invitations. Confirm ahead of time with your venue where the best parking can be found in the area. You do not want guests getting lost or discovering that their cars have been towed! This can be a particular issue with downtown/city venues or historic sites. 

Transportation for Wedding Party

Transportation is often one of the first things to go in the Fuck-it Bucket because of the cost. But as a planner I love when couples book transportation for their wedding party. This guarantees everyone who is crucial to your wedding day is where they need to be on time. Plus it allows your wedding party to let loose and drink without worrying about driving afterward. This is an especially good idea if your event has multiple locations throughout the day. 

Overnight Bags

Are you staying at a hotel the night of your wedding? If so, you will need to pack an overnight bag and have a game plan for how it will get to your hotel room. The common issue is that if you didn't stay in the same room the night before the wedding, you may not be able to check into the room before it is time to start getting ready for the wedding. Arrange for a family member or friend to delivery your bags and get you checked into the room. It may be helpful to contact the hotel staff prior to your arrival to let them know as well.

Photo by Alasdair Elmes 

Who takes the gifts home?

You have just had your grand exit and are off to the after party or your hotel! Did you appoint a family member or friend to collect all your cards and gifts? Who is going to be responsible for delivering these items safely to you after the wedding? This is a detail that is often overlooked and definitely needs to be discussed prior to the event.

Decor Breakdown and Pickup

Similar to the question about gifts... who is breaking down your decor and making sure that rented items are returned to their proper owners. When will the rental companies pick up their items? Does the venue require rentals to be put someplace specific? Does the venue even allow your rental company to come back at a later date? Find out what needs to be broken down and picked up the night of the wedding and have a game plan for who will do that. Confirm with your florist as to whether they need the vessels returned and if they do, make sure no one walks out the door with your arrangements! 

Some rental companies charge extra for same day pickup because it generally requires longer hours and very late hours for their team. Florists often need their vessels and vases back soon after the wedding, but may not be able to come that night to break down. These are all questions to be asked prior to finalizing your timeline for the day. Make sure all of your wedding pros have provided you with their schedule and that their plans match your expectations and timeline for the event. 

You will need to confirm with the venue regarding drop-off and pickup of rentals to make sure that your plans and rental deliveries do not interfere with other events that may be happening the same weekend.

Photo by The Creative Exchange 

Be prepared for the little things!

Every wedding is different, and every venue is different... there are likely to be some small details that we have not mentioned here that could make or break your event. The best thing is to be prepared. Take your time to really dig into the details and never assume something is included or handled by someone else. Ask tons of questions of your wedding pros and venue. Make a list of little things you noticed at other weddings and how you felt they were handled. Plan for the worst and hope for the best. 

About the Author: Erica Greenwold Reisen is the lead planner and designer at Folie à Deux Events. She specializes in authentic, unique events for couples who like to challenge traditions and do their own thing. She is the founder and editor of Secularly Wed, a wedding blog dedicated to meaningful, non-religious wedding planning. ​

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Bridechilla BlogGuest Post

Getting Your Period On Your Wedding Day? Read This!

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

*Bridechilla sponsored post*

Are you one of those women who can predict her period down to the minute? Good. For. You. But we're not all made that way, so we put together five tips for how to manage your period on your wedding day (or night). From skipping it to finding the perfect menstrual cup, we've got you covered—literally.

You’ve spent the past 12 months of your life planning your wedding down to the most minute detail. The venue is pure perfection. We’re talking exposed brick, vaulted ceilings, and beautiful hardwood floors. Your wedding party will be dressed to the nines in their floral gowns and perfectly-tailored suits. The menu you chose is impeccable, including the cake—chocolate ganache smothered between layers of rich, dense chocolate cake. Your partner will look like he could step out of the pages of a magazine. It’s going to be the happiest day of your life.
Just a few days before the big celebration, you get that feeling. A little bit of bloat, a cramp here or there, that weird peanut butter pretzel craving. It’s your period…one week early…right before your wedding. Cue panic, right?

Not so fast. An early period, or a period during a huge life event, would normally cause major stress, but we have tips on how you can manage your period on your wedding day (and still have five-star-wedding-night sexy time).

1. Keep track of your period

Surprises, like the one described above, happen. But if you get in the habit of tracking your period, you can avoid any major ones. There’s nothing worse than having your period sneak up on you during a special occasion. Start tracking your period now using an app like Clue to get smart on when it’s coming.

2. Try a menstrual disc

Ladies, we’re not talking your mama’s menstrual cups from the ’70s. There’s an entirely new period product called a menstrual disc which can be worn for up to 12 hours. That means you won’t have to worry about changing your tampon during your reception. We’ve heard brides swear by them. They’re so comfortable they forget they’re even on their period. Bonus: because of where they sit in the body you can also wear them for mess-free period sex on your honeymoon—and your partner won’t feel a thing.

flex box

3. Consider skipping it

It’s possible for some women to skip their period with the help of their doctor. It’s called period rescheduling. Go Ask Alice says that to skip a period safely, you have a few options:

  • When taking monophasic birth control pills:
  • 28-day oral contraceptive (OC) pack users: When you reach the end of the active hormonal pills in a pack (the first 21 or 24 pills), begin the next set of active pills, skipping the inactive (placebo pills) from the previous package.
  • 21-day OC pack users: Instead of going through the pill-free week, start the next pack of active pills the day after finishing an active pack.
  • When taking multiphasic birth control pills: When you reach the end of the three weeks of active hormonal pills, take the next month’s third week of pills immediately. You may also want to be aware that skipping a period using multiphasic birth control pills may be more complicated and it may also lead to break-through-bleeding.
  • When using the NuvaRing: Leave the NuvaRing in for four weeks before removing it, and then immediately replace with a new one.

If you plan to go this route, be sure to talk to your medical professional to find the right option for you.

4. Pack the necessities

You probably have your period week go-tos (Tylenol, heating pad, Netflix, etc.) and a Bridal Emergency Kit (bandaids, hairspray, bobbie pins, etc.) for any wedding-day mishaps. But if you’re anticipating your period on or around your wedding or will be menstruating day-of, also consider packing water-based wipes and a period panty for backup. You may have spent months planning your wedding, but the truth is you can never be too prepared.

5. Let your MOH know

There’s a reason you appointed a maid or matron of honor—she’s there to help keep you calm, cool, and collected. If you get your period, don’t stress. But don’t keep it a secret either. Most brides need help navigating the restroom in their dress and your maid of honor will need to know how to help you to avoid potential stains.

Try Flex

Flex is a proud sponsor of the Bridechilla Podcast! You can try 3 months of FLEX for only $15 + Bridechilla listeners get an extra $3 off + free shipping. This means that you will get 3 months of product shipped right to your door for only $12 dollars.

Don’t let your period ruin your big day. Go to ihatetampons.com/bride and use code BRIDE at checkout.

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Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

300- Best Of Bridechilla- Don’t Plan a wedding, plan a lifetime

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Weddings and parties are great but as today’s guest, Shawn Miller says ‘what good is an amazing wedding without an amazing marriage to back it up?’.
I love talking about all of the details about weddings but hopefully by now you have also become aware that the Bridechilla Podcast is all about focusing on relationships and communication- all the stuff that is emotionally connected to planning a wedding and beyond.

My guest, Shawn Miller (along with his wife Erica) is the founder of Young Hip & Married—he also happens to be one of their officiants and is a qualified life coach.

Listen to episode 300 of Bridechilla

As well has marrying people, Shawn and Erica run relationship and pre-marital coaching programs that help couples discover the strengths in their relationship and discover how to get the most out of them. In their own words, they are..

 on a mission to eradicate dull and boring wedding ceremonies from the face of the planet and to help couples create a sweet lifelong union that gets better with age. If every couple is different then why have we all been to the same boring ceremony so many times? Young Hip & Married will marry you YOUR way—creative and personalized ceremonies are our specialty.

We don’t just want you to have an amazing personal ceremony, we also want your marriage to be fun and exciting and to last forever. Our relationship coaching is designed to equip couples with the necessary knowledge, resources, and skills to not just stay married, but also love the journey. Your marriage is one of the most important relationships you’ll ever have—let us help you start off strong and thrive for life.

Most people spend more time training for the job than they do for their marriage and I know that this episode will encourage you to invest some time into the success of your marriage by dedicating time and energy to not just wedding planning but also your relationship and the future.
Be sure to pay a visit to the Young Hip & Married homepage and Blog. Also they're very social, so hit up their accounts below!

Twitter
Instagram
Facebook

Photo by Everton Vila 

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Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

299- Stop saying yes to Sh*t you hate with Talia Pollock

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

I share a fabulous conversation with fellow stand up comedian, Bridechilla and Podcaster Talia Pollock, originally recorded as part of her podcast Party in My Plants.

Listen to episode 299 of Bridechilla

Talia is a great believer that being healthy doesn't have to suck and that  'it’s possible to drink green juice AND drink cocktails, that it’s do-able to eat quinoa AND online date and that it’s really OK to not eat dairy AND still go to an all-inclusive resort in Mexico'.
In this episode we talk about the cult mindset of '#sheddingforthewedding', family pressure and body image (especially coming up to the holiday season).
We also talk about managing stress on the day of your wedding and look at different mindsets for relaxation and incorporating our pre-stand up comedy performing routine (not freaking out) into our wedding routines.
We also share our tips for giving yourself permission to be different and not follow the crowd, an area that I know can be challenging in all facets of our lives, not just weddings.
Talia is a total Bridechilla, she even asked her best friend to 'not be her bridesmaid' and is including her love of healthy food in her wedding, even though some of her guests are bitching about wanting a steak!
I look forward to having Talia as a returning guest on Bridechilla in the new year. 

Show image photo by Ilya Yakover 

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