No matter how exciting your everyday life I can guarantee you that you will all suffer, in your own special way, a bout of post-wedding blues. It’s perfectly natural to feel a little Debbie Downer or empty after a big life event such as a wedding. Think about all the time and energy that you and your partner have committed to making this great day happen. You’ve devoted hundreds of man-hours to planning, spent months saving money and when it’s all said and done it can feel little bit weird. For lots of people it’s not just the organising part that you will probably miss, it’s the attention and excitement in the lead up to the wedding that you can sort of get used to, that when it’s gone can feel like a bit of a void. In this episode I offer some solutions to get you out of the rut and back organising and having fun! I’m sure there are many aspects of the planning process that you will bid adieu and never want to do again but I was prompted to record this special Q&A themed episode after receiving a message from listener Catherine in Colorado.Hi Aleisha! Thank you so much for your fabulous podcast! I started listening a few months before my wedding, and I got some really excellent advice (and lots of laughs!). It was nice to be reminded that it was okay to focus on just what my partner and I were looking for from the day, and not worry so much about what everyone else thought.
Now that I’m about a month past our wedding, I am still listening to the podcast and loving it. But I’m finding myself in a bit of a funk … the post-wedding blues, you might call it. I was wondering if you or your wise guests or other listeners might have some advice on how to get over this hump. We were on such a high on the days leading up to the wedding, and the wedding day itself was full of so much love and support. I would love to be surrounded by that feeling every day, and it’s a bit of a let down now that it’s all over.
Love from Colorado, Catherine
Catherine’s message really rang true to me because I too suffered from post wedding blues. Sure, there were lots of things that I did enjoy once the wedding planning was gone… such as being able to visit a shop and actually purchase a piece of clothing without feeling a twinge of guilt because we were saving money for the wedding but I missed the anticipation. As a natural-born organiser I also used to really enjoy the arranging and spreadsheets part of the process. I had lots of special folders and systems in place… Many people’s nightmare! Planning the wedding really gave me purpose in that part of my life and it took a couple of weeks post-wedding to realise I’ve never to plan anything any more. Of course I then went and wrote another comedy Festival show so that gave me plenty of things to worry about and work on. I found a professional project that completely took over my brain and paid up all of my spare time!
Of course not all of you are stand-up comedians looking to write a one-hour stand-up comedy show… I get the but one suggestion I made in this podcast is that you postpone your honeymoon…particularly if you have friends and family that are visiting from out-of-town who you might like to catch up with them before taking off. It’s also great to have a holiday to look forward to and may be postponing it for a month or two might stretch out that excitement.
There were many moments in our wedding that I look back on with absolutely glee. Besides marrying Rich, my favourite memories of our wedding weekend are sharing these moments with our fabulous friends and family. Dancing laughing and desperately trying to capture every moment in my mind so I wouldn’t forget how awesome it was to have all these people who cared about us together in one place.
As I suggested to Catherine in this episode perhaps she needs a project like organising a weekend away with her close friends… People that helped her and her partner celebrate their wedding because if you like us, and I’m sure a lot of you are, life can get away from you. We don’t see our friends as much as we should (sometimes a night on the couch with Netflix is more preferable than driving across town) so perhaps trying to gather those people together in one place might be a cool project to work on?
A couple of books to improve you post wedding blues
Lena Dunham- Not that Kind Of Girl
As if Lena need my review to sell any more copies of this book, but bloody hell it’s enjoyable…one of those reads that you want to devour but then hold back because you don’t want it to end. Poor Rich, trying to read his book in bed each night gets tapped by me, interrupting him, reading out my favourite bits, and there are SO MANY!
Look, it’s obvious I’m a fan but with Girls, Tiny Furniture and now this book, no pressure on Lena but she’s really shaping up to be a big influence on this
generation and she deserves it.
“Here’s what I have to say about being married: someday you will look at him, hating him with every fiber of your being, wishing that he would die the most violent death possible. It will pass.”
Hannah Horvath’s dying grandmother: Lena Dunham (GIRLS).
Amy Poehler- Yes Please
I love Amy Poehler. She’s sassy as hell. Hilarious and I want to be her friend.
I have been giggling whilst reading this book on the tube and bus (where people glare at me…’How DARE you smile on public transport in London’) Jerks!
She has so many nuggets of goodness that make me laugh and nod and say ‘YES!’ aloud…attracting even more weird PT looks!
“Creativity is connected to your passion, that light inside you that drives you. That joy that comes when you do something you love. That is the juicy stuff that lubricates our lives and helps us feel less alone in the world. Your creativity is not a bad boyfriend. It is a really warm older Hispanic lady who has a beautiful laugh and loves to hug.”
