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Bridechilla Wedding Planning

Helping You Ditch Wedding Stress And Plan The Wedding You Want

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bridesmaids

Bridechilla BlogGuest Post

Sparks Joy? How to Marie Kondo your Relationships

by Aleisha April 9, 2019
written by Aleisha

A few things are on everyone’s lips at the moment - Brexit, Trump, and Marie Kondo.

While the two former topics are in the political category, to some Marie Kondo is equally as controversial. The 4-foot-7 Japanese tidying expert and creator of the much-loved KonMari method has the world under her spell with her Netflix series Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.
She's telling everyone (in her adorable voice) to toss everything and anything we own that doesn’t immediately ‘spark joy.’

Though the focus of the KonMari method is most applicable to the junk in our homes (and our handbags), there’s something to be said about applying her inspiring advice to relationships. Merely change the question “Does it spark joy?” to “Does he/she spark joy?”, and you’ve got a simple, practical way of assessing your relationships.

I know it’s a lot easier to get rid of an old pair of shoes than a boyfriend. But are they really that different?

Wait. Don’t answer that.

Here’s the lowdown on how you can use the tried and true words of MK and apply them to your relationships with everyone from your marriage partner to your best mate.

1. Don’t Hold on Forever 

It’s sad to think of letting people go, particularly if you’ve known each other for a long time. But sometimes relationships need to be tossed out. Like an old pair of jeans!

We all have that sexy pair of skin-tight pants at the back of our cupboard. The ones that we fit into years ago, but sadly, as much as we jump up and down and lie back on the bed, they just don’t seem to fit anymore.

Like those pair of jeans, as we grow older (and wider), we outgrow our relationships. There’s no shame in accepting that it could be time to cut ties and move on. Rather invest your time and love in a new pair of jeans, I mean person, that fits you just right.

2. But Don’t Be Too Hasty

You might really be in the groove of KonMari-ng your life, thinking “Don't like ‘em? Dump ‘em!” to everything and everyone. But unfortunately, relationships and people are a lot more complicated than immaterial objects.

The connections with others that really matter are the ones that survive ups and downs, and as such, you should consider the long-term aspects. You don’t want to be too rash, kicking someone out of your life because you’re having a bad day or because they’ve done something to piss you off.

Keep in mind the benefits of your relationship. Remember that time they picked you up when your car broke down? Or when they came over with comfort food after a breakup? Or when they held your hair back when you partied a little too hard? It’s good to have these sorts of friends around, even if you don’t love them all the time. And as far as marriage goes, you might want to listen to this out-of-the-box marriage advice from therapist Susan Pease Gadoua before throwing in the towel.

3. Take the Time

In her book The Life-Changing Magic, Kondo estimates that the entire process of tidying your house should take six months. Six months? That’s a hell of a long, tidy up session.

Just as you take a significant amount of time to clutter-free your house, so should a certain amount of time be dedicated to your relationships. This tip is twofold.

On the one hand, take the time to assess your relationships regularly. Set aside a time when you can be left alone to make a practical list of pros and cons. What are you benefiting from the relationship? What are you giving in return? What word springs to mind when you think of your relationship with that other person? Do they make you a better version of yourself?

These aren’t easy questions that can be answered in a second. They take some serious thinking and reflection.

On the other hand, take the time to be with the people you love. Relationships are an investment, and the only thing that you should be investing is time. That means putting down your phone and actually engaging with them. Having a meaningful conversation. Do a fun activity together. Just lie in bed in silence. All things that will make your bond even stronger.

4. Don’t Show Love with Material Things

If there’s any fundamental truth about the KonMari way, it’s that less is more. Having fewer bits and bobs cluttering up your home can really give you a sense of freedom and weightlessness you didn’t even know you needed.

So why do we continue to give our loved ones crappy presents that clutter up their lives? This ends now.

Instead of the cliche piece of jewellery or technological gadget, treat your partner to a minimalist anniversary gift that won’t collect dust. I’m talking about unforgettable experiences and activities that create new memories as a couple. Memories are so much more meaningful, and you simply cannot put a price on them. It will also help you grow together, which is one of the secrets to a long-lasting relationship.

5. Be Brave

Getting rid of the old and welcoming the new isn’t easy. In fact, it’s bloody difficult.

But KonMari has a tip - be brave. Be brave in welcoming someone new into your life. And be brave to let go the ones that are bringing you more worries than joy. In the words of Ms. Kondo, “When we really delve into the reasons for why we can’t let something go, there are only two: an attachment to the past or a fear for the future.”

When it comes to relationships, many of us have a fear of never finding someone else better. But as the old saying goes, there is plenty of fish in the sea. If a particular fish isn’t doing it for you anymore, be brave and let them go.

When less time and energy is being spent on negative people in your life, more space is made available for better, more meaningful relationships. That means making more friends and meeting more people - people that really spark joy in your life.

6. Have a Look at Yourself Before You Clean Your Surroundings

Adopting the KonMari lifestyle is a very inward journey. You may be cleaning up your house, but in fact, you’re cleaning up your mind. It involves a total mind shift for it to really work long-term.

In the same way, remember to analyse yourself as well as the other person. Don’t be too quick to assign blame for relationship problems when it could, in fact, be you. Be open to the idea that issues such as intimacy and commitment could be stemming from your own personal problems. There’s no shame in realising where you have gone wrong and adopting a new way of viewing the world and your relationships. It’s all part of the KonMari way.

The Bridechilla Wedding Planning Guides
April 9, 2019
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Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

347- Bridesmaid Week- How to be a Maidchilla

by Aleisha November 19, 2018
written by Aleisha

Working with your Bridal Party and Bridesmaids in particular, should be fun. They're good friends that you have asked to join you to celebrate your wedding day and perhaps also in pre-wedding activities.
Being a bridesmaid, a Maidchilla, has evolved over recent years with a lot of extra tasks and commitments being added to the to-do list (and added financial obligations). In this episode of Bridechilla, I share my best tips for smooth Bridal Party communication, so you can get on with having an awesome time and ditch any potential stress!

Listen to Bridechilla episode 347

The Bridechilla community is not only dedicated to helping brides plan their wedding, we are also here to help bridesmaids know how to be a Maidchilla. On this episode of the Bridechilla Podcast, Aleisha shares what she has learned from her own experience and from her interaction with other people in the Bridechilla community about how to be a great bridesmaid. After listening to this episode, you can get much more information by purchasing Aleisha’s new book, The Maidchilla Manual, available for preorder on November 23, Black Friday 2018.

Maidchillas are an elite group of friends who are also now suddenly event planners and counselors and concierges who want to help their Bridechilla get all their shit in order and not lose their marbles!

Sharing the Bridechilla mindset with your bridal party

The Maidchilla Manual was written out of a need to extend the Bridechilla mindset into the wedding party. Many of the questions and comments within the Bridechilla community involve being a part of a wedding party. With so many differing traditions, preferences and expectations, it’s hard to know the proper etiquette for being a great bridesmaid. Aleisha shares some tips for how to manage expectations and increase the chill in the bridal party during this episode. 

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 

What is the difference between a bridesmaid and a Maidchilla? 

Bridesmaids can either be a delight or a disaster. A Maidchilla is different. They refuse to participate in petty arguments or drama. They realize their major role is to support their Bridechilla. Aleisha says that adopting the Bridechilla mindset puts a Maidchilla in an elite group of friends that help create great wedding planning and wedding day experience. Listen to the key differences between a typical bridesmaid and a Maidchilla on this week’s Bridechilla podcast. 

Communication is the key

In any relationship, communication is key. A lot of misunderstandings and issues can be avoided if expectations were communicated clearly from the outset. Aleisha says, “Most problems come from the assumption of information.” She stresses the importance of having honest conversations with the wedding party early on in the planning process. Talk about potential issues before they blow up into major problems. And most importantly, set expectations clearly so that there is no confusion about roles, whose in charge of what, what to wear, or any other part of wedding planning.

The Maidchilla Manual

The guide for how to be a Maidchilla

The goal of the new Maidchilla Manual is to provide solutions and options to make the wedding a kick-ass experience. Considering the variety of people and the different life-circumstances represented in most bridal parties, there is plenty of opportunity for issues to arises. Bringing together people who may not normally be acquainted can be difficult. On this week’s podcast, Aleisha shares from her personal experience of dealing with those difficulties and how she strives to be a Maidchilla herself. She also addresses many other issues related to having or being a part of a wedding party. 

Be sure to grab your copy of The Maidchilla Manual. You can preorder The Maidchilla Manual for a really sweet deal on Black Friday, November 23, 2018. For more information or to order, visit bridechillastore.com.

Show Highlights

  • [1:33] After many comments and questions about how to deal with bridesmaids, Aleisha is now addressing the topic with her new book The Maidchilla Manual
  • [6:33] The difference between being a bridesmaid and being a Maidchilla
  • [12:05] What is the job of a Maidchilla? 
  • [22:14] The big list of questions to ask your Bridechilla to help clarify expectations. 
  • [23:52] Aleisha shares a story of how she had to put aside her life circumstances to help make her friends wedding special
  • [30:02] Giving your wedding party choice and individuality with things like what to wear
  • [35:23] The Maidchilla manual has guidance for adopting the Bridechilla mindset
  • [36:29] How to deal with removing someone from your bridal party and how to avoid that situation altogether
  • [39:39] Remember that the wedding is about making a memorable day and not getting wrapped up in the drama or stress

Photo by Liz Weddon

Memorable Quotes

  • “Most problems come from the assumption of information.”
  • “I feel quite strongly that you shouldn’t invite people to the bachelorette or hen’s party that aren’t invited to the wedding.”
  • “Everyone involved (in the wedding) are at very different stages in their life”
  • “It would have to be very dramatic to remove someone from a bridal party, because that decision is a friendship ender or at least a friendship big-dent-maker.”

Photo by William Iven 

Show image by Brooke Cagle 

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

November 19, 2018
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Bridechilla Podcast

330-Bridechilla LIVE @ Brideside

by Aleisha July 23, 2018
written by Aleisha

It was a thrill and a pleasure to record my very first Bridechilla live Podcast in front of a fabulous audience in Chicago recently Brideside, in their aptly named 'babe cave'.
In this episode, I chat with Brideside founders Nicole and Sonali about friendship, body image and avoiding confrontation (or just going head-on into it!). Join us as we talk about how a moment of Whoo! Sparked a friendship as well as a business. As any bride, and some bride-to-be’s may well know, the bridesmaids are just as important, even though tensions can arise and friendships may be lost afterwards.
A HUGE thanks to all who attended. We're super keen to organise more live events and hope to come to a venue near you soon!

Listen to episode 330 of Bridechilla

“What I learned in the process of my wedding, that I didn’t know at the time, is that the emotional piece is so important.”   Sonali Lamba - Co-Founder @brideside

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Show Notes:

  • What Sonali and Nicole recommend when it comes to rehearsal dinners and mother-in-laws
  • Why Sonali recommends doing a Roast with the wedding party
  • The importance of embracing new traditions and valuing the old ones
  • The two things that Sonali and Nicole’s Bridesmaid Consultants are specifically trained on
  • A simple solution if you have several bridesmaids in the wedding
  • How to get around a certain style of dress for all bridesmaids
  • What to do when one bridesmaid doesn’t get along with one of the others
  • Suggestions on how to informally invite people on short notice
  • Sonali, Nicole, and Alicia share their favorite memories from their wedding
  • Why sometimes you’ve just got to go with the flow

“We decided that there were some things that we were really passionate about owning, and we actually didn’t ask other people’s opinions about those things.” @nstaple - Nicole Staple co-founder @Brideside

Click to Tweet

“I often find that rehearsal dinners are some of the most intimate moments with friends and family.” @nstaple - Nicole Staple co-founder @Brideside

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Resources:

Brideside

Instagram

Facebook

Twitter

Show image and Event images by Richard Maddock

Thanks to our Sponsors Care/Of

July 23, 2018
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272- Secrets of Bridesmaid Dress Shopping

by Aleisha June 12, 2017
written by Aleisha

Shopping for Bridesmaids attire can be challenging for some Bridechillas, particularly if you don't have a firm vision of how you would like your bridal party to 'look'. When you think about it (without getting too existential) it's a pretty odd thing to do, choosing dresses for your friends and even weirder to make them all look the same...but hey there are lots of aspects of weddings that are strange and fun, I say embrace it! This episode of the Bridechilla Podcast tackles all of the highs and lows of shopping for and with your Maidchilla friends!
There is a lot of scope for creativity, with the rise of the non matching bridesmaids dresses also opportunity to rent dresses that will help you embrace your friend's shapes, personalities and individual styles.

Listen to episode 272 of Bridechilla

Who Pays For Bridesmaids Dresses?

Spend some time on wedding forums, and you will soon see that this is a fiercely contested a grey area and to be annoying (and avoid the backlash) I'm going to say it does depend on where you live.In my home country of Australia, Maidchillas get up are usually funded by the bride and groom whereas I understand that many Bridechillas in the USA ask their Maidchillas to pay for their dresses.

Whichever path you are taking I encourage you to the open and communicative with your bridal party about the expectations of their attire and who is paying for what. If the bridal party is paying for the dress/suit, be mindful their financial situations. Not everyone is in the same position. If it’s awks to talk about this with the group then discuss privately and be mindful of that this can be a delicate topic for some.

*I am someone who has used been personally financially stretched by being a part of a bridal party, and I felt embarrassed that I didn't feel as free and easy with cash as some of the other Maidchillas at the time.

Group Decision And There Be Bridesmaids Dress Democracy?

It great to be casual when it comes to some wedding planning decisions. However, miss free and easy can sometimes backfire, particularly when you are working with a group. Shopping with a group can be challenging. There are many voices, opinions and budgets. Having a direction and knowing a vague outcome of shopping expeditions, such as looking for gold, knee-length, cocktail dresses will give you a good start to keeping everyone focused and not going too rogue.

Ditch the Matchy Matchy

The current trend of mismatched Maidchillas dresses and outfits is excellent for embracing different styles and body shapes. It allows everyone to shine and is a lovely way to personalise bridesmaid attire and still stick to a theme or colour scheme if you so wish. The re-wearability is higher in these choices too.The mismatched look works best when there is some unity a theme.It could be a colour or design, a pattern or theme. The trick is finding a balance between, 'be free' and 'let's tie this thing together'.

Mismatched Bridesmaids Options

  • How To Get it Right- Pick a material colour and give your bridesmaids the option of choosing the cut and style of dress/jumpsuit/gown
  • Choose a colour scheme and let them choose their dress (just be mindful of clashing. Giving them a colour swatch is an easy solution)
  • Purchase dresses from the same retailer, who use the same material but will create dresses in different styles
  • Incorporating a Bridesman into the mix by adding an accessory such as a pocket-chief (?), tie in matching colours to the bridesmaids, etc

Ditch The Commitment,  Rent Bridesmaids Dresses Instead

There is also a huge boom in renting Bridesmaids dresses, which gives you a big advantage in catering for different tastes, shapes and price ranges. This option is great for are looking to explore both the non-matching trend or if you are wanting you’re A-team to wear similar or matching attire. Vow to be Chic has hundreds of bridesmaid dresses to hire (Every order comes with 2 dresses, in 2 sizes, 2 weeks before the wedding, so no need for size panic) as does Rent The Runway. 

Image by Vow to be Chic

Again, taking advantage of finding packages and deals, with free shipping and also try-ons, you can create an event around trying on options, before you make your final decision.

Thanks to Episode 272 guests, Danielle and Taylor from Kennedy Blue. 

June 12, 2017
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Bridechilla Podcast

257-Incorporating culture and tradition with Bridechilla Chloe

by Aleisha February 27, 2017
written by Aleisha

One of the things that I love about producing the Bridechilla podcast is the diversity of the bridechilla community.

We all come from different backgrounds, family Histories, religions and cultures and there are so many wonderful ways to incorporate these details and traditions into a modern weddings today on the show I will come bridechilla Chloe who left me a fantastic voice message explaining the highs and lows of her wedding planning so far.

She is confident and funny and I am so happy to be featuring her story with you today.

Listen to the Episode

From creative ways to save money and use your community to help you plan your wedding to sharing Chloe's perspective on feminism, fitness and incorporating elements from two cultures into their wedding, I know you will benefit from this episode. Chloe has great advice on keeping everyone happy but most importantly following her heart and planning the wedding that truly reflect them as a couple!
Check out Chloe's homepage and follow her on Facebook, twitter and Instagram!

February 27, 2017
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Bridechilla Blog

Bridal Code of Conduct…do you need one?

by Aleisha February 4, 2017
written by Aleisha

By Bridechilla Allison
There’s been a lot of discussion on the podcast recently about bridesmaids, and I know that many bridechillas are having difficulty choosing their bridal parties or have horror stories about their bridesmaids being really terrible.
Any time relationships and communication come into play, there’s a potential for drama. Weddings are rife with stress, and any time emotions come out the claws can too. But I wanted to share my bridal party story with you because I think that some careful planning and consideration (and avoiding obligations at all costs!) can help make sure that on your wedding day you’re surrounded by people who really want to be there and who really support you.

A lot of us have a friend we’ve known since childhood who we’ve thought about having in our wedding since before that wedding was on the horizon. For me that’s my best friend. We’ve been friends since 4th grade, and we’re extremely close. I couldn’t imagine choosing anyone else as my lady of honor. But I’ve also been a bridesmaid a couple of times. And in both of those weddings, the maid of honor was the bride’s oldest friend, but not necessarily her best friend anymore. I think it’s totally natural to get swept up in the happiness and nostalgia that accompanies a wedding, but when you’re oldest friend lives far away (out of state in the case of my friend’s friends) and is totally consumed in her own life—there’s a big chance that it’s going to be hard for her to step up as maid of honor.
One of the maids of honor really ended up hurting my friend’s feelings and made her wedding just a little less happy and special than it could have been. Sometimes you choose this person anyway—if she’s really your best friend there’s no problem with that—but I think you have to be really open about your expectations. For instance, my bridesmaid (she hates this title and she’s choosing her own) lives all the way across the country in Washington DC. I knew that she probably wouldn’t be able to fly back for every party/event. But I did know that she was invested in being a part of celebrations and that she wanted to be involved in whatever way she could be. I knew when I asked her there was a chance she wasn’t going to be able to participate, and I had to be okay with that and give her the choice. However, she’s amazing and she told me in no uncertain terms that of course she was going to be involved.

I think that people will tend to step up and do what you need from them if you
a) make sure that they’re normally people who have your back,
and
b) you tell them what exactly it is you need from them.
A lot of bridesmaid drama comes from lack of communication—it’s a tough role to be at someone’s beck and call and not know what you need to do.
Your bridesmaids can’t read your mind, and it can’t just be your lady of honor who does all the communicating with the group. Not that you want to make demands—you want to have an open conversation.
When I asked everyone in the bridal party to stand up with me, I wrote each of them a letter talking about how important they are to me, and some of my favorite memories. I also included a Bridal Code of Conduct I wanted to be held to and wrote what I knew I needed from each of them: crafting help from the crafty lady of honor, someone to vent to from my bridesmaid who is the best listener, and someone in my corner from my bridesman (bridesdude?).
I talked about what kinds of parties there were going to be, what their individual duties might be, and I asked them to keep me on the straight and narrow.

via GIPHY

Choosing my third attendant was definitely the toughest part of the process. I really didn’t want to have more than three people standing up with me (just too many people to organize), so I had a dilemma on my hands. I could choose one of my fiancé’s sisters, but he has four of them, and I didn’t want to alienate any of them by making a choice between them. I could choose from one of my close group of friends, but there are three of them, and again I didn’t want there to be hurt feelings. So I decided to have my brother stand up with me. Originally the plan was for him to be a part of my fiancé’s side of things, but having my brother with me allowed my fiancé to have all four of his brothers stand up with him (uneven bridal parties really don’t bother us).
Having my brother as a bridesguy was an awesome decision. Yes, it makes some things more difficult, but I like being challenged to think about the “normal” way things are done and to question tradition.
We have to rethink the procession situation, but my bridesmaid doesn’t think she should have to be supported by one of the guys anyway, and I think she’s right.If you do have a bridesman, I think it’s really important to tend to their feelings. If anyone made my brother upset or uncomfortable there would be one angry sister up in someone’s business! My brother is going to participate in my shower, but he’s going to the bachelor party instead of the bachelorette party (whatever that ends up being. No one will tell me anything…).

I think it’s just all about having open lines of communication and respecting everyone’s feelings. As far as clothes go, since there are only two ladies in dresses (my brother is wearing a black suit like the rest of the guys), I asked them both to pick a knee-length black dress. I know they’ll both look great, and they’ll get to pick a dress that they can work into their budding professional wardrobes—everyone needs a little black dress. Not worrying about what they’re going to wear takes so much stress out of my life, and I know they’ll feel and look best in something that looks like them. I trust their taste and know they’ll pick something beautiful. They can wear any shoe they please and do their hair any way they like—I just want them to feel like themselves.I love my untraditional bridal party, and I’m really happy that they’re the ones that will be standing up with me. I think that challenging the standard way of doing things is great. When it comes to bridal parties, I’m all for throwing “have to” out the window and choosing the people you want.

Allison's blog
Allison's Etsy Store
Allison's instagram

February 4, 2017
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Bridechilla Podcast

239- Bridechilla Wedding Q&A: de-stress before the big day!

by Aleisha December 15, 2016
written by Aleisha

Listen to the episode

Bridechilla Jen has been negotiating with her ‘dream florist’ for the past month but has hit a wall in proceedings as she was hoping to add some wholesale flowers herself to bud vases as an addition to the florists work.

The florist has an exclusivity contract and has refused to work with Jen if she wants to add DIY accents to her day. What to do?
Bridechilla Katie has decided not to have bridesmaids at their wedding but wants to include all of her close girlfriends in fun activities without the pressure of actually dressing up and being in a formal role.

How does she ask and explain without offending her friends that did have bridesmaids?
Kirsty is getting married this week! She’s keen to know how to calm her nerves and feel in control and ready to enjoy all of her guests and celebrations! Happy wedding Bridechilla Kirsty!

December 15, 2016
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Bridechilla Blog

Assembling Your #Squad

by Aleisha August 30, 2016
written by Aleisha

BRIDECHILLA GRADUATE ERICA KNOWS THAT CHOOSING YOUR BRIDAL PARTY IS TRICKY BUSINESS!

Erica Greenwold Reisen is a recently married person who also plans weddings, makes crafts, and writes about wedding things at her website, www.folieadeuxevents.com. You can find her on Instagram @folie.a.deux.nc, Facebook, and Patreon.

I’ve been a bridesmaid twice, once for my sister and once for a friend who is practically a sister. I’ve also been the friend who spent weekends crafting, made dresses, went gown shopping, etc... without the matching dress or my name in a program. I love weddings so much that I am always offering to help whenever a friend is getting hitched! My stint as a bridesmaid and informal wedding assistant is how I got interested in Wedding Planning as a profession.Bridesmaids/Groomsmen can be so helpful while you are planning a wedding. They are (hopefully) your best mates and will be honest and have your back when shit inevitably gets hard, because it totally will.
Choosing a bridal party becomes more complicated as you get older and your friends are spread around the country.
Who do you pick? Your childhood BFFs? Your college roommates? Siblings and cousins? Local pals you play trivia with every Tuesday? All of them? This is how you end up with bridal parties with 10 girls and 10 guys lined up on either side of the couple!

I had my super amazing, Type-A sister as my Maid of Honor and that was it. Plus this saved my lady-friends some serious coin as most of them were traveling from out of state. My husband chose one of his two best friends to be Best Man at our wedding, and the other acted as a witness at our legal ceremony a few months earlier (more on that in another post!).This is clearly not the route many people want to go.

Since moving to North Carolina, every wedding I have attended has had 6+ Bridesmaids/Groomsmen with the exception of one that had no bridal party at all. For most people, they have spent their whole life dreaming of their wedding and their bridal party is an integral part of that dream.So let’s get back to the question of how to choose your bridal party. These are the people who need to always have your back, tell you the truth even when it’s hard, walk you back from the edge when your relatives are driving you mad. They need to be 100% on board in support of your relationship with your partner. And I think most importantly they need to BE THERE.

Being there may not mean physically always there, because like I said before, as we get older, people spread out around the country and world. No, when I say they need to be there, I mean they need to be actively involved in and excited for your wedding. Distance may preclude dress-shopping trips together, but Skype is free and shared Pinterest boards are awesome.

The story is that bridesmaids were originally meant to be decoys to distract and confuse demons who might want to curse the bride on her wedding day. Today, we dress our ladies (and gents) in matching outfits and line them up behind us to bear witness to our nuptials, all the while suffering in uncomfortable shoes, in front of 100+ people.

Being a bridesmaid has taken on an odd cultural significance as well.“Always the bridesmaid, never the bride,”as the saying goes, shames women simply for having a bunch of close friends who happened to get hitched before she did! So beyond the hot pink matching dresses and demon distraction, what is the Bridal Party actually for?

There are traditional responsibilities assigned to the Maid of Honor and Best Man, such as acting as the official witnesses to the marriage and planning the bachelor and bachelorette shindigs. Additionally, the Maid of Honor and Best Man can be your go-to people when you need to start delegating organizational tasks or managing meddling family members. What about the rest of the bridal party? Their job is to help you however they can and be there to support you and your partner every step of the way. These days, they should also be handy with a glue gun and experts at making DIY glitter-dipped wine bottle centerpieces.

As Bridechillas & Groomchillas we know that we should do our best to avoid inviting obligation guests, but what about obligation bridesmaids/groomsmen?
Maybe you told someone way back that you would totally be each other’s bridesmaids but now you barely talk? Or maybe you were a friend’s bridesmaid when they got married but now your relationship has changed? Family can be tough too. Maybe your Aunt expects you to put Cousin Kelly in your bridal party even though you only ever talk at family reunions and she is 6 years your junior.

At the end of the day, it is your wedding and you and your partner should be the ones who decide who you want to represent you as a couple and who will support you completely for your wedding and beyond into your marriage.

No matter what you decide re: the matching garments, your best friends will be there for you regardless. Our wedding was actually one of the best days of my life because of all of the friends who I finally got to see again at the same time and same place. Our wedding was a celebration of love and friendship, and not just between my husband and I, but our friends and family who helped us along the way. I don’t think I have hugged so many people so hard in my entire life. Our friends did not need matching outfits to know how important they are to us.

All gorgeous images by Chris Tavares from Photopher.com.
Other vendors featured in the photos are: Motorco Music Hall, Durham NC -
Tattly Temporary Tattoos - www.tattly.com

August 30, 2016
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Bridechilla Podcast

158- Wedding Q&A #Maidchilla Week

by Aleisha April 21, 2016
written by Aleisha

Who organises a hens or bachelorette party?
Do you need to prompt someone, allocate tasks? What if someone takes charge too much?
If you were in a friend’s wedding, does that me they have to be in yours? I also feature a great response about gifts for and from your #Maidchillas.
Why are we obsessed with buying more shit!? And I speak about The Brides Project, a wonderful charity that re-homes wedding dresses to raise money for cancer.

All that and a lot, lot more on the Save the Date Wedding Podcast, the #1 wedding planning podcast!

Have you subscribed to the Podcast yet? No? What are you waiting for? It's free and with two shows per week, they will delivered to your device as soon as I upload them!
Magic!
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April 21, 2016
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Bridechilla Podcast

Wedding Q&A- Who chooses bridesmaids dresses?

by Aleisha September 10, 2015
written by Aleisha

In episode 90 of the wedding podcast I explore the topic of what to do if your bridesmaids are uncomfortable in the dress that you have chosen…Should they speak up or shut up?
using some great responses from you, my listeners from the Bridechilla Podcast Facebook Page!
I also answer a listener question about using your diet or food lifestyle choices in your wedding catering and how to hone in on making a big decision!
All that and a lot, lot more on the Bridechilla Podcast, the #1 wedding planning podcast!

September 10, 2015
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Hi, I’m Aleisha

Hi, I’m Aleisha

Founder of Bridechilla

I created The Bridechilla Podcast, Guides and Facebook Community to empower you to plan an awesome wedding day and put all of the wedstress and obligation straight in the Fuck It Bucket!
With 350+ episodes of Bridechilla, 3 Guides and hundreds of blogs, get started on your path to wedding planning zen!

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