Tag:

family

30 Days Of Wedding PlanningBridechilla Podcast

398- Wedding Planning Q&A

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

One characteristic of the Bridechilla community is their desire and commitment to avoid wedding drama. There is ample opportunity for stress and drama to arise when planning a wedding. On this Q&A episode of the Bridechilla podcast, Aleisha answers questions about areas of potential drama and how to steer clear of them before and during the wedding. Hear voicemails concerning picking a venue, dealing with frendors, and how to handle disapproving family members. 

Listen to the episode

There has to be something that, you close your eyes and picture the day. Where is that place. There has to be something that differentiates them

How to pick the right venue for your wedding

One of the hardest parts of wedding planning is deciding on a venue. Do you have a destination wedding, pick a trendy, instagramable location, or go with a more sentimental venue? Bridechilla Lauren is torn between two venues, one that she loves but has no attachment to, and another in the town where she and her fiancé met. However, she already has a venue booked. Why is she still considering another venue? Aleisha helps Lauren think through some of the pros and cons between venues and gives advice for choosing the right place.

I’m just a big believer, when you are hiring wedding vendors, whether you know them personally or not, you need to be able to rely on them

Should you hire a friendor?

Hiring a freindor, or a friend who is also a vendor, can be both a blessing and a curse. It could be mutually beneficial. You may get a discounted service and your friend gets some experience and exposure, which is especially important if they are just starting out. There is a danger that you might not get the quality of service you want or your friendship could be strained or damaged in the process. Should you use friendors? If so, what is the best way to go about it? Hear Aliesha’s answer to that and other questions from the Bridechilla community on this Q&A episode of the podcast. 

Just treat this relationship as a friendly but also a business relationship. You are absolutely a-ok to do that.

Photo by Annie Spratt 

I think weddings are a really good time to start asserting yourself in a way that you deserve to assert yourself.

Avoiding family wedding drama

Family can be one of the biggest sources of wedding drama. Bridechilla Ann is struggling with the demands of family while planning her wedding. She feels the obligation to follow their advice about the ceremony and to invite people she doesn’t really want to attend. While the goal is to have your wedding be only what you want without any obligation to anyone else, sometimes that is just not possible. Aleisha discusses how to still have the wedding you want while balancing the responsibility you have to your family. 

Photo by Haley Phelps

Keys to conflict resolution in wedding planning

Avoiding wedding drama often means that you have to address problems and issues head on. Almost everyone wants to avoid conflict. However, in life, relationships, and wedding planning, conflict is inevitable. Aleisha encourages Bridechillas to use the wedding as an opportunity to be assertive and learn how to effectively handle conflict. One helpful solution is to not consider it a fight, but rather a resolution. Listen to helpful advice about that and other wedding planning issues on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

Sometime it’s good if you can turn the question onto the other person and ask them ‘What would you do if you were in my position?

Listen to the episode

Show Highlights

  • [0:58] Aleisha talks about the booth she records in and the uncomfortable stool that she sits on to record the podcast

  • [1:46] Today’s episode is a Q&A episode, addressing questions from the Bridechilla community

  • [2:42] Bridechilla Lauren asks for help in deciding between two venues, and how to choose the one that aligns with their priorities

  • [6:02] When you have a venue already booked, why would you continue to look for another venue?

  • [7:50] Hailey asks how to handle her friend/make up artist who has been disrespectful to her during the planning process

  • [10:45] Aliesha addresses whether or not taking back a plus one invite for a friend is contentious

  • [11:38] No one likes confrontation, but there is a way to be assertive without being confrontational

  • [15:00] Bridechilla Anna asks about potential missing pages in the field guide for planning food

  • [21:15] Ann is struggling with obligation to her family and difficulty finding a church while planning her wedding

  • [26:22] What do you do when your important family members don’t approve of your life choices? Do you still invite them to the wedding and risk having drama?

  • [31:54] How you can use family members or your wedding planner to help alleviate family drama during the wedding

  • [32:47] Do you invite a friendor to the wedding even though you wouldn’t invite them if they weren’t a vendor

  • [36:05] Aleisha offers thanks to everyone who has been sharing the podcast with their friends and purchasing the Bridechilla field guide

  • [37:36] Bridechilla Amanda is planning her own bachelorette party and wants to know how to best accommodate her bridesmaids for the party since they aren’t all local

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Photo by Adrianna Van Groningen

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla Blog

395- Wedding Planning Q&A with Leah Weinberg

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, guest Leah Weinberg, founder of Color Pop Events, joins the show for some wedding planning Q&A. Leah took her expertise and attention to detail as a commercial real estate attorney and turned it into a business planning beautiful, detailed, and stress free weddings for couples in New York. She lends her advice to the Bridechilla Community about how to deal with family members you don’t like, managing the wedding budget, and how to make the last few weeks of planning the wedding stress free.

Listen to episode 395 of Bridechilla

How to have the non-traditional wedding of your dreams

Couples often make the mistake of trying to please their family members or friends with their wedding. However, the wedding really is all about them and, as such, should only include what they want. Bridechilla Nat writes in and shares her nontraditional wedding and how going to 22 weddings in 11 years helped her define the type of wedding she wants. If you are wanting something different and non-traditional for your wedding but don’t know how to go about it, be sure to listen to this episode.

You want an olive branch, just go to dinner. Go to the movies. Do something. She doesn’t have to be a bridesmaid in your wedding.

Photo by Devon Divine 

Don’t let your family hijack your wedding plans

Family members can be a blessing and a curse. While they can be a source of support and encouragement at times, they can also be a major source of stress. How do you deal with family members who have unrealistic expectations or who make ridiculous requests? Bridechilla Emily asks how to deal with her brother who wants her to include his fiance as a bridesmaid. The trouble is that Emily doesn’t even get along with her. Hear Aleisha and Leah’s advice about this issue and much more. 

I hate that the wedding planning process makes people question themselves. In so many ways they question their decisions, their appearance, and sometimes their relationships.

Photo by Rachel Lees

Planning and sticking to the wedding budget

Whenever there is a bridechilla wedding planning Q&A episode, the topic of budget always seems to come up. How do you set an appropriate budget? How do you stay on budget when planning a wedding? How can you be on the same page with your partner about the budget? These are all very important questions that not only help with wedding planning, but contribute to marital unity in the future. Alexa and her fiance are struggling to agree on the wedding size and budget. Aleisha and Leah offer their encouragement and support as they answer Alexa’s question. 

It’s a lot of money on a one time thing and you want to make sure you are spending it on something you want and that makes you happy

How to make the last week before the wedding stress free

Wedding planning can be quite a long a tedious process. But the payoff is hopefully spectacular, memorable event with loved ones to celebrate your marriage with your partner. When getting down to the last week of planning, it is important to reduce the stress so that you can focus on being in the moment and enjoying the wedding day. During the wedding planning Q&A episode, Aleisha and Leah give advice for how to approach the week before the wedding. Hear that and much more on the Bridechilla podcast. 

I think people may not realize how busy they are going to be that last week. I highly encourage if you are able to take off that whole week from work.

ASMR Wedding Planning 

Leah and Aleisha spoke about ASMR, Autonomous sensory meridian response and whether they found it relaxing. Leah thinks that Aleisha may have a second (or third career as an ASMR voice over person), Aleisha is less convinced. In the show, Aleisha shares a clip by Isabel imagination ASMR, a You-tuber who focuses on creating (very well received) ASMR videos.

Listen to the episode

Show Highlights

  • [0:39] Aleisha introduces the episode and special guest Leah Weinberg from Color Pop Events
  • [3:29] Nat has been to 22 weddings in 11 years and describes how just and her fiance are not into a traditional wedding
  • [5:50] Leah talks about how the wedding planning process makes people question themselves and discusses her book that addresses that issue
  • [7:50] Nat shares the ways she is planning an untraditional wedding, rejecting people’s advice or expectations so that she and her fiance can have the wedding they want.
  • [10:17] Emily asks for advice for dealing with her brothers fiance and how to avoid having her as a bridesmaid.
  • [13:18] Recently engaged Alexa asks how to get on the same page with her fiance about the type of wedding and how to utilize their budget. 
  • [17:04] Aleisha warns against the loan sharks who offer loans or credit to pay for a wedding.
  • [23:32] Aleisha and Leah talk about their reaction to ASMR
  • [27:05] Erin asks about how to approach the “homestretch” of planning her wedding.
  • [31:28] How do you stay focused at work when you have a wedding coming up?
  • [35:07] Aleisha and Leah talk about what they pitched to Alt Summit

Meet This Episode’s Guest

Leah Weinberg is the founder of Color Pop Events, a wedding planning business dedicated to bringing dream weddings to life in New York and New Jersey. Leah took her expertise and attention to detail she developed  in commercial real estate law and turned it into planning unforgettable weddings with professionalism and style. Her calm spirit and unflappable demeanor takes the stress out of the wedding so that couples can fully experience their special day together. 

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by  Kendra Allen

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla Blog

394- Q&A – Making Good Wedding Planning Decisions

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Whether it’s trying to find the right dress, book the perfect venue, or plan the most beautiful ceremony, there are a lot of decisions to be made when planning your wedding. Often these decisions can lead to stress and anxiety. It doesn’t have to be this way. The Bridechilla podcast is here to help you stress less and enjoy the process of planning your wedding.
This episode Aleisha answers wedding planning questions about weekday weddings and guests leaving early, rehearsal dinner speeches and when to not invite family members who might be antagonistic or cause trouble on your wedding day.

Listen to episode 394 of Bridechilla

How to make a weekday wedding work

Madeline is a fellow Bridechilla and Australian who has a question about her venue. While most weddings are held on the weekend, is it possible to have a weekday wedding? What impact will that have on the guests that you want to come? There are certain advantages both with the venue and with vendors if you book your wedding on a weekday. There are also ways that you can make it a bit easier on your guests while still having the wedding you want. Hear Aleisha’s advice on making the unconventional but potentially beneficial decision of having a weekday wedding.

“I really support you in booking a weekday wedding. I know they are not as convenient as a weekend wedding for guests. However as a couple planning a wedding, and working with vendors, it could be a really good opportunity to score a venue that you really like that’s otherwise not available

Photo by Jonathan Borba 

A wedding before the wedding

Tradition is only as good as the people who intend to use it. If particular traditions don’t mean anything to you, then why use them? Bridechilla Katrina and her fiance are nontraditional and want to include that part of their personality in their wedding plans. She asks Aleisha about the idea of eloping prior to the big wedding ceremony. Rather than abandoning the event with their family and guests, they want to have a small private ceremony first. However, that doesn’t necessarily sit well with some family members. Aleisha shares her thoughts on how to best handle this nontraditional approach during this podcast. 

You can have the night off child care regardless of whose kids you are feeding...

What to do with the kids? 

Mariah is engaged to be engaged to her fiance who has kids of his own. During the wedding, she’d prefer not to be at a table with the kids. She doesn’t want to have to parent or have kid-inclusive conversations on a day that is all about her and her fiance. She asks for Aleisha’s opinion on this desire and for advice on how to best accomplish this without upsetting her fiance or other family members. Listen to this episode to hear Aleisha discuss this and other questions from the Bridechilla community.

Photo by Mikael Kristenson 

Facing feuding family members

The topic of family is one that comes up in almost every Q&A episode that we have on the Bridechilla podcast. Families can be supportive, helpful, and fantastic overall. Or they can be difficult, petty, and a living nightmare. Bridechilla Hannah has two family issues that she is having to deal with while planning her wedding. One involves honoring grandparents, while the other involves feuding brothers. Hear the details of this unique situation and what Aleisha has to say about it on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

Listen to episode 394 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

  • [0:27] Aleisha introduces this episode of the podcast, which is the ever popular wedding planning Q&A episode.

  • [2:20] Madeline asks about the potential having a Thursday wedding and if people would be inclined to leave the reception early because it’s not on the weekend.

  • [6:18] Aleisha gives practical solutions for how to adjust your wedding plans to maintain the magic and make it more accommodating for guests

  • [8:17] Katrina and her fiance are untraditional and want Aleisha’s thoughts about eloping prior to the big wedding ceremony. 

  • [13:41] Mariah who is engaged to be engaged and asks about seating arrangements and what to do about her husband-to-be’s kids at the wedding.  

  • [22:54] Gina asks for guidance regarding speeches for both the rehearsal dinner and wedding day for their intimate wedding in Greece. 

  • [27:00] Bridechilla Hannah asks questions about dealing with family issues while planning her wedding. She talks about her grandparents and estranged uncles. 

  • [31:33] The wedding is all about you and your comfort level. Aleisha gives advice for dealing with volatile family members. 

  • [33:07] Don’t forget, the Bridechilla pack with the two books that Aleisha has produced is available. 

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

392- Q&A- How to Feel Better About Yourself While Planning Your Wedding

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Whether you are planning a wedding or just going through something stressful, it is nice to hear that other people are dealing with similar issues. Sometimes you hear about other people’s problems and it makes you feel better. Helping you get through the wedding planning process is what we are all about on the Bridechilla podcast. That’s why we are sharing problems and questions from the Bridechilla community. On this episode, Aleisha addresses questions about assigning roles and responsibilities to your wedding party, abandoning the first look, and how to know how many invitees will actually be at the wedding.

Listen to episode 392 of Bridechilla

Pick and choose your traditions

When planning your wedding, you might decide there are certain traditions that you don’t want to adhere to. Is it crazy to have a non-traditional wedding. There are many wedding traditions that you might choose to include in your ceremony. However, many customs might not make sense or be meaningful to you. Your wedding is about you, so you can choose to do whatever you want. Bridechilla Kelly doesn’t want just a traditional maid-of-honor. She wants three. Hear Aleisha’s advice for how to define roles for the three maids and how to make this unique arrangement work. 

Photo by Miguel Ángel Hernández

No matter what label we are putting on people we are asking to help, the big thing is having a discussion with them about their expectations and your expectations.

Skip the secrets

Another tradition that a lot of couples choose to do is to keep the bride’s dress a secret until the day of the wedding. They often do a “first-look” prior to the wedding and photographs. However, one bridechilla contacted Aleisha to ask what they should do if they don’t want to participate in a first look. In fact, they don’t want to keep the dress a secret at all. There is no right or wrong way to customize your wedding. Hear what Aleisha’s thoughts about skipping the dress secret and abandoning the first look.  

Plan to pause with your partner

Another way to feel better about yourself when planning your wedding is to plan for quiet moments for you and your partner during the wedding day. There is so much going on during the day, it is easy to reach the end and not remember anything. Though you want your guests to have a good time, the wedding is really about you and your partner. Aleisha encourages finding moments during the day to just pause together, reflect, and ensure that your day is truly memorable.

Photo by Jonathan Borba 

Find a place for the parents

You might think you are juggling a lot of people and relationships for your wedding. But do you have 7 parents to include in your wedding? That’s exactly how many Bridechilla Kristen has. Kristen wants to know how to include all of the parents and step parents in meaningful ways while still keeping the wedding special and according to her wishes. Hear Aleisha’s answer to that and many other questions during this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

Look at the day and don’t feel an obligation when it comes to having to appease all these people. That goes for everyone really

Listen to the episode

Show Highlights

  • [0:30] After looking at her inbox, Aleisha decided that another wedding planning Q&A episode was in order.

  • [2:16] Bridechilla Stephanie wants to know a special and creative way to ask a long-distance friend to be a part of her wedding.

  • [6:11] Kelly asks for ideas for how to have three maids-of-honors and how to make each one feel special. 

  • [10:10] Is it crazy to not want to keep your dress a secret for the first look? 

  • [12:32] Courtney calls to get Aleisha’s advice on how to plan for how many people on the guest list will actually attend.

  • [22:40] Get the hardback wedding planning guide written by Aleisha at Bridechillstore.com.

  • [24:02] Kristen is getting married in July and wants to know how to deal with having 7 parents in their wedding and how to assign roles. 

  • [29:41] Aleisha invites the Bridechilla community to continue submitting questions, as there are more Q&A episodes to come.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

381- Wedding Planning Q&A with Aleisha

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

When you are in the middle of wedding planning, it’s easy to think you are the only one who struggles or has issues. The wedding industry likes to portray weddings as magical, perfect events. Here on the bridechilla podcast, we know that isn’t always the case. That’s why we have wedding planning question and answer episodes; so that you can hear from other Bridechillas who are struggling along the wedding planning journey and get some great advice on how to deal with specific problems. On this episode, you’ll hear questions about involving your parents and step parents in the wedding planning process, how to handle friends who are also wedding vendors, and how to be involved in the planning of your own bachelorette or hen party. 

Listen to episode 380 Of The Bridechilla Podcast

Requesting wedding gifts, the right way

One perk of getting married is that people will give you gifts. Registries can help guide attendees in buying you the things you want and need. What do you do if there are differing gift traditions with you and your partner? How can you communicate both wishes to your wedding guests without seeming pretentious or ungrateful? There is a way to clearly and tactfully explain the best approach to gifts at your wedding. Aleisha explains how and stresses that the key is expressing gratitude. Hear about that and much more on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. 

A lot of the time people feel disconnected from the process or they feel left out or lonely about it all because they don’t know what’s going on.

3 Ways to Involve a long-distance parent in your wedding

When planning a wedding, a bride might find herself a long distance away from home. How do you get your parents involved in the planning process when they are in different states, countries, or time zones? Sometimes, all it takes is just keeping them updated with progress. Aleisha gives three specific ways to make a parent or close relative feel a part of the process even when they aren’t nearby. A little planning and some extra attention can help close the gap and ease the tension with parents who want to be involved but can’t because of distance.  

Photo by Analise Benevides 

How to involve your stepparent in the wedding

Bridechilla Kristen asks how she should involve her step dad in the wedding. Her parents will be walking her down the aisle, but she still wants to include her step dad. With a limited number of roles in most weddings, how do you include everyone who is important to you in the wedding? Aleisha recommends some unique ways to involve step parents or other relatives in the ceremony that will allow you to honor them and will allow them to be a meaningful part of your wedding. 

Older people sometimes say ‘That is what we do and we are not going to change it just because they wrote it on a website.

Friends with wedding benefits...frendors

Some brides love the idea of having a bridesmaid or friend fix their hair, shoot their pictures, or cater their wedding. It can be a huge cost savings and can ensure that you have a trusting relationship with that person. However, hiring or using a friends gift or talent for your wedding might not always be desirable. It could cause unnecessary tension in the relationship. And you may want that friend to come and enjoy the wedding rather than work at it. How can you communicate your feelings and wishes to a friend who might be expecting to be asked to work your wedding? Aleisha gives tips for thoughtfully sharing with your friend so as to maintain the relationship and hire the vendor you want. 

I believe you should always offer to pay people and allow them to say ‘no, no I’d love to gift you your wedding hair.

Photo by Fa Barboza

That is the worst thing you can do to anyone that is angry or feeling stressed or overwhelmed is to go ‘just calm down.’ That’s my trigger point of going ‘I’m going to punch you in the throat'. Don’t tell me to calm down.

Listen to episode 380 of the Bridechilla Podcast

Show Highlights

  • [0:26] Introduction of this week’s show and how Aleisha has been able to produce so many podcast episodes. 

  • [1:15] Aleisha explains what wedstress is and how the bridechilla podcast is here to help alleviate your wedstress.

  • [3:59] Bridechilla Rosie asks What is the clear, tactful way of telling wedding guests that there are two ways to give wedding gifts when there are two different customs involved. 

  • [7:08] Kennedy is concerned that her mom is feeling left out of the wedding planning since she and her fiance live away from home. How can she make her feel more involved?

  • [11:23] Kennedy also asks how to handle a bridesmaid who has tattoos that her partner and future Mother-in-law are afraid will be a bad look for the wedding and pictures. 

  • [14:36] Kristen from Canada wants to know how to involve her stepdad in her wedding. 

  • [22:29] How to address friends who are expecting to be hired to help with your wedding when you’d rather just have them attend or being a part of the wedding party. 

  • [27:27] Destination bachelorette parties.

Subscribe to Bridechilla Podcast

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Olivia Bauso 

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

375- Wedding Traditions, Dresses, and Parents Q&A with Aleisha

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

In this episode, you’ll hear questions from the Bridechilla community about how to handle the wedding dress being ruined three weeks before the ceremony, how to deal with parents overstepping boundaries, and a great story about a ditching wedding traditions and going your own way. Listen for the great advice that can help you with similar issues when planning your wedding

Listen to episode 375 of The Bridechilla Podcast

Creating new wedding traditions when the old ones don’t apply

The Bridechilla community knows that traditions can be taken or left. No tradition is more important that the wishes and desires of the couple getting married. Erin is the quintessential Bridechilla who is not only rejecting old, irrelevant traditions, but is also creating new and unique traditions. Some of her plans had to be altered due to the fact that her Mom and Dad have passed away. She has found creative ways to honor them while having a customized wedding that is sure to be special. Listen as Erin gives an update about her wedding plans.

If you can attach a meaning to a tradition, then do it. But if you can’t, then ditch it

What to do when they messed up the dress

Bridechilla Kate has a huge dress dilemma. Alterations ruined her dress and she only has three weeks until the wedding. As you can imagine she is stressed out and unsure of what to do. She wants to wear a dress that she looks and feels great in but is afraid that finding another one in such a short amount of time might be impossible. Aleisha gives Kate advice about how to find another dress quickly and what recourse she has with the vendor who messed up the dress.

Lady wearing white wedding dress walking

Photo by Melody Jacob

If you are going into a situation potentially with a vendor that isn’t offering you a contract then it’s not great

Get it right, get it in writing

If you are in the midst of hiring vendors now or have had issues with vendors before, this is an episode you don’t want to miss. While answering the question about the ruined dress, Aleisha recalls a previous episode of the Bridechilla podcast with a guest who is a wedding lawyer. She recaps some of the great information discussed on that episode. When dealing with vendors, it is critical to get things in writing. Vendors should provide written contracts, but if they don’t you can create one. Listen to this episode to hear Aleisha’s advice about how to make sure you are treated fairly and get the service you deserve.

We can’t make our parents. They made us. But that doesn’t mean that we as children have to go along with all the shit that they sometimes pull

Photo by Alasdair Elmes 

Wedding planning with parents

Involving parents in your wedding planning can be both a blessing and a curse. While they can be a source of support and encouragement, they can also be opinionated or demanding. Everyone’s relationship with their parents is different. Bridechilla Claire asks how to deal with her dad who is not respecting her wishes for her wedding. How do you handle a parent who is imposing his will on the wedding? Aleisha suggests that, because you know your relatives and parents well, you can judge whether or not they will behave on the wedding day or if the should be left out of the ceremony. She also encourages Bridechillas to consider the parent’s perspective as well and how they have probably dreamed about your wedding for longer than you have. She gives advice for how to acknowledge that reality while still maintaining your plans. Hear all about that and much more on the Bridechilla podcast.

Show Highlights

  • [0:27] Introduction of the Bridechilla podcast, this question and answer episode episode and the upcoming 5 year anniversary.

  • [3:18] Aleisha thanks everyone for their reviews and tells where you can purchase Bridechilla items. She also explains how you can submit questions for Q&A episodes

  • [4:28] Bridechilla Erin talks about how she and her fiance are planning their nontraditional wedding and how they are going to handle not having her parents at the wedding

  • [6:44] Erin tells a story about a wedding she was at recently where a groom got really drunk and, during the garter toss, spent a really long time under the brides dress.

  • [9:41] Kate asks an urgent question about her wedding dress that was ruined by alterations three weeks prior to her wedding day.

  • [11:32] Aliesha gives advice for how to handle a vendor when they don’t fulfill their obligation for the wedding.

  • [13:16] What to do if you are dealing with a vendor that isn’t giving you a contract.

  • [26:27] How to deal with a parent who is making the wedding day about him and not respecting the brides wishes.

Listen to episode 375 of The Bridechilla Podcast

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by  Mark Zamora

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

372- Bridechilla Wedding Planning Q&A

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

If you have questions about planning your wedding and are looking for some great advice and a lot of fun, then be sure to listen to this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. Aleisha catches up on her voicemail by answering questions left by members of the bridechilla community. The Bridechilla podcast doesn’t just talk about flower colors or types of dresses. We talk about the serious, sometimes difficult side of planning a wedding that can affect real life and close relationships. During this podcast, Aleisha addresses the issue of taking your partner’s last name, breaking off an engagement, dealing with a double-booked venue and even how to handle citizenship issues when planning your wedding.

Listen to episode 372 of Bridechilla

Bride and groom posing next to a combi van

Photo by Jessica Rockowitz

HI, my name is...

The Bridechilla community knows that no tradition should be blindly accepted. If the tradition serves a purpose in your wedding, then by all means use it. But there is no obligation to follow particular customs without consideration or reasoning. One such tradition is taking your partner’s last name. Bridechilla Kelsey is not taking her partner’s last name and wants to know how to deal with family members and friends who assume that she is. Aleisha also helps Kelsey and the Bridechilla community consider how to handle the family name for when they have children.

We are in a time where we have so many options, there is flexibility. It is not taboo to not take your partner’s name when it comes to getting hitched.

Do you double down if they double book?

Brianna called Aleisha to find out what to do about her wedding venue. After booking two rooms at the same venue for both the ceremony and reception and paying a downpayment, Brianna received word that the venue had double booked and wants to cancel one of the rooms. To complicate matters, Brianna and her fiance both work at the venue. During this question and answer, Aleisha gives advice for how to deal with conflict and how to handle complications when planning your wedding.

Bride on the beach

Photo by Anna Utochkina 

There is no shame in moving on

Before marrying Rich, Aleisha was engaged to another man. To cope with calling off the first wedding, Aleisha did a stand up comedy routine that ultimately led to the start of Bridechilla. When Bridechillas Tori and Rach both have questions about how to move on with their wedding planning after having ended a previous engagement to another man, Aleisha is able to give first-hand advice. There can be shame and guilt that accompanies difficult breakups. Nothing should keep you from moving on and finding happiness in another relationship.

I think we need to embrace these ups and downs and not feel the shame attached to them because that doesn’t get you anywhere.

Finding happiness in your wedding planning

The goal of wedding planning is to decide what you want and what makes you happy and then do it. Wedding planning can reveal a lot about your life and priorities. While planning her wedding, El discovered that she is missing close relationships with friends. She is struggling to decide who to invite to be her bridesmaids and asks Aleisha for advice. Listen as Aleisha encourages El and reminds the Bridechilla community of how comparison can rob you of satisfaction in your own wedding. Hear all that and much more on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

bride wearing a veil

Photo by Rachel Lees

Instead of feeling bad that this is being tainted in some sort of way, see it as a really positive step and a huge milestone in your relationship

Listen to episode 372 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

  • [1:10] Aleisha introduces this episode, during which she answers questions left on voicemail from the bridechilla community.

  • [3:32] Kelsy’s question is about how to nicely deal with people who criticize her for not taking her partner’s last name. Also how to handle a family name when children come along.

  • [9:04] Bridechilla Becca calls to say thank you to Aleisha for giving her the courage to make the decisions that she wants for her wedding

  • [10:13] Brianna’s venue (which she actually works at) double-booked and is asking them to make a change that they don’t want to. What should she do?

  • [20:57] New-to-Bridechilla Tori wants to know how to announce her engagement after having broken off an unhealthy prior engagement to another guy.  

  • [27:18] Rach wants to know whether she should invite her Mother to her wedding after a rocky relationship.

  • [34:10] El from New Jersey, realized through wedding planning that she doesn’t have the close relationships she wishes she had and wants advice on what to do?

  • [37:28] Laura wants to know how to plan a low-key courthouse wedding prior to their big ceremony in order to help with her Canadian fiance’s citizenship status.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Jonathan Borba 

The Bridechilla Wedding Planning Guides
0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

371- Blending faith, culture, and traditions in your wedding with Karen Cinnamon

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, Karen Cinnamon, founder of SmashingtheGlass.com joins the show to talk about blending faith, culture, and traditions in your wedding. There are many wedding traditions that have their root in religious or cultural customs. They can be deeply meaningful for a couple and their families. However, when you have a couple of differing heritage or you don’t like a particular tradition, planning a wedding can get tricky. How can you honor past traditions while still keeping your unique, individual style? During this podcast, Karen and Aleisha discuss ways to blend both the past and the present so that you can have the wedding you’ve always dreamed of. 

Listen to episode 371 of the Bridechilla Podcast

Ask the right question about traditions

Traditions began because they meant something. Whether it is a religious or cultural custom, they all started with a particular purpose. Overtime, those traditions may or may not hold the value they once did. How do you decide whether or not to include a tradition in your wedding ceremony? How can you handle the expectations of parents or the older generation when planning a wedding with different traditions? Karen suggests that you first must start with answering the question of why. Why do certain traditions exist and why would they be included in your wedding? She also gives advice for how to respect and honor parents or family members while staying true to your wants and desires.

Embrace the fact that there is something different about your wedding or language and translate the elements that are absolutely pivotal for you guests to understand

Consider your wedding guests

Because Karen is Jewish, she understands the importance of certain traditions being included in the wedding ceremony and reception. She also knows that certain traditions may not be familiar to everyone who attends the wedding. If a couple has two different cultures they are including in the ceremony, then it is likely many guests may not be familiar with certain traditions. How can you make your guest feel included? Karen explains the importance of considering the people that are attending your wedding and making sure they understand the significance of why they are included.

Photo by Allef Vinicius 

People want to include both faiths and backgrounds and blend them seamlessly together to create one beautiful ceremony and reception. You know it should seep into every element of the wedding

Make an old tradition new again

Including age old traditions in your wedding doesn’t mean you have to step back in time to have your wedding. You can still incorporate customs while making them fresh and unique to your personality and style. Karen encourages being creative with the inclusion of certain observances in your wedding or reception. Her website, SmashingtheGlass.com is dedicated to providing ideas for how to include traditions in an original way.

Photo by Allef Vinicius 

Try to include everything that you believe in as a couple and leave out anything that you don’t understand or agree with.

Embrace blending faith, culture, and traditions in your wedding

Trying to include different traditions in your wedding while also expressing your individuality can be difficult. However, it doesn’t have to be. The key is to remember that your wedding is all about what you and your partner want. Avoid the trap of allowing family, friends, or others expectations to influence your decision making. Instead, decide as a couple what is most important and tet that guide your planning. Karen urges couples to embrace the opportunity for blending faith, culture, and traditions in your wedding. Listen to this episode for more advice on how to do that and much more.

State something as a fact rather than ask for an opinion and that way you tend to be met with respect.

Listen to episode 371 of the Bridechilla Podcast

Show Highlights

  • [0:44] Aleisha introduces Karen Cinnamon, found of SmashingtheGlass.com, a platform dedicated to helping couples incorporate their Jewish faith into their wedding. 

  • [3:18] Karen explains why and how she started Smashing the Glass for both other Jewish couples and those with interfaith relationships.

  • [5:45] How do you deal with your parents or generation when attempting to include different traditions into the wedding.

  • [8:27] When thinking about including traditions, it is important to pause, think, and ask “why”. Include only that which is important as a couple.

  • [10:30] How having multiple ceremonies can allow you to celebrate all of the traditions that are meaningful to you.

  • [19:58] When you have a bilingual couple, how do you incorporate different languages without it being restrictive.

  • [22:38] Karen shares how she blended her creativity with the tradition of her Jewish faith in her own wedding.

  • [28:08] How the Smashing the Glass community helps brides plan their weddings and how she keeps it supportive and encouraging.

  • [33:50] The overwhelm and emotion of decision making and how the new landscape of culture makes wedding planning stressful.

  • [38:54] Embracing the fusion of cultures and heritages in an interfaith wedding.

Meet Karen Cinnamon

Karen Cinnamon is the founder and editor of the world’s foremost Jewish wedding planning blog, SmashingtheGlass.com. After planning her own wedding in 2013 and discovering that there wasn’t one space dedicated to creative and original ideas for planning a Jewish wedding, Karen decided to fill the void by starting her own platform. Her job is now to help soon to be brides and grooms incorporate their Jewish faith into their wedding ceremony and beyond. 

Join Karen's Community!

Brides Club is the place to be for all the ‘Can’t Plan Without’ Jewish and interfaith Jew-ish wedding resources, support, straight-talking advice and handpicked discounts you need to ensure you have an unforgettable Jewish (or Jew-ish) wedding, whilst keeping everyone around you ‘on-side’.

For just $25 (or £19) a month you’ll receive weekly live Q&A wedding clinics with Karen, live masterclasses with trusted wedding experts, plus access to Karen's tried-and-trusted, verified vendor network, 100’s of exclusive handpicked discounts, ‘What I Wish I’d Known’ interviews with Just-Married Brides, her ‘can’t-plan-without’ library of Jewish wedding checklists and resources (worth $197) and the emergency bridal hotline direct to Karen.
Karen is offering a 30 day free trial to Bridechillas and Groomchillas! Hurrah!

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by  Jonathan Borba

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

314- Outrageous Wedding related Opinions

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Inspired by a very popular thread in the Bridechilla Facebook community, today’s episode features some of the most bizarre and hilarious opinions that have been shared with our fellow Bridechillas from family and friends during their wedding planning process.
I’m guessing most of the people whose quotes are featured are from mother or mothers-in-law's! Either way, l will guarantee you that hearing other people’s stories of opinions, will help you expel some frustration and relief that your family may be just as cray as everyone else’s.

Listen to episode 314 of Bridechilla

Show image by Tanja Heffner

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

300- Best Of Bridechilla- Don’t Plan a wedding, plan a lifetime

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Weddings and parties are great but as today’s guest, Shawn Miller says ‘what good is an amazing wedding without an amazing marriage to back it up?’.
I love talking about all of the details about weddings but hopefully by now you have also become aware that the Bridechilla Podcast is all about focusing on relationships and communication- all the stuff that is emotionally connected to planning a wedding and beyond.

My guest, Shawn Miller (along with his wife Erica) is the founder of Young Hip & Married—he also happens to be one of their officiants and is a qualified life coach.

Listen to episode 300 of Bridechilla

As well has marrying people, Shawn and Erica run relationship and pre-marital coaching programs that help couples discover the strengths in their relationship and discover how to get the most out of them. In their own words, they are..

 on a mission to eradicate dull and boring wedding ceremonies from the face of the planet and to help couples create a sweet lifelong union that gets better with age. If every couple is different then why have we all been to the same boring ceremony so many times? Young Hip & Married will marry you YOUR way—creative and personalized ceremonies are our specialty.

We don’t just want you to have an amazing personal ceremony, we also want your marriage to be fun and exciting and to last forever. Our relationship coaching is designed to equip couples with the necessary knowledge, resources, and skills to not just stay married, but also love the journey. Your marriage is one of the most important relationships you’ll ever have—let us help you start off strong and thrive for life.

Most people spend more time training for the job than they do for their marriage and I know that this episode will encourage you to invest some time into the success of your marriage by dedicating time and energy to not just wedding planning but also your relationship and the future.
Be sure to pay a visit to the Young Hip & Married homepage and Blog. Also they're very social, so hit up their accounts below!

Twitter
Instagram
Facebook

Photo by Everton Vila 

0 FacebookTwitterPinterestEmail
Newer Posts
Older Posts