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Vanessa and Chad’s Intimate DIY Destination South African Wedding

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Bridechilla, Vanessa and Chad were married at the Chelaya Country Lodge in Somerset West, Cape Town, South Africa. They took on the rather daunting task of DIYing their wedding and in this Bridechilla Graduate post, Vanessa shares her best DIY Wedding tips and is very candid about the highs and lows of wedding planning andthe journey they undertook to ditch traditions and all of the extra 'things' that they thought they needed to plan a wedding and instead plan two week wedding celebration with 25 of their family and friends. 

Describe your event in 10 words or less.

​DIY-tastic, imperfect-perfection, FUN, heartfelt, OURS.

What was the theme/vibe/feels of your wedding?

Though Pinterest still tried to sneak its way in and lead me astray, we planned two weeks of adventures in South Africa (just because) for 25 friends and family.
A week drinking wine and getting married near Cape Town and a week on safari in Kruger. We explored Cape Town together, we went wine-tasting, we went on safari and one sunny afternoon we got married in the garden of the cute old farmhouse we were all staying in! We had a 2pm ceremony, an afternoon picnic and an evening sit-down dinner.
I have lived overseas my entire adult life, moving often, so missed the whole 'wedding phase' which actually turned out to be a blessing. I came into this with no preconceived ideas of what a wedding 'should' be. I soon realised, that aside from a couple of key legal sentences it would be whatever we wanted which was incredibly liberating!

What was your wedding budget?

We spent max $18,000 for international flights, one week in the Cape Winelands (not incl. the second week of safari), accommodation for all our guests and absolutely everything for the wedding. My point here is that you CAN do something amazing with a small(er) amount of money if you’re willing to think outside the box.

Our priorities were, not blowing a fuck ton of money, doing as much as we could ourselves so we felt like we created our own day rather than just rock up to someone else's design, lots of good food and wine, a relaxed vibe and a real feeling of intimacy and love!

What did you learn from DIYing most of the day?

​Only get stuck into DIY if it’s something you enjoy and you’re doing it for personal satisfaction. I am very creative (not skilled, just enjoy!) and we did EVERYTHING ourselves and with the help of family and friends: my Mum made my dress, my FIL made our ring box, I made the cake, me and my girls did all the flowers, I made the boutonnieres (sea glass, a little nod to our lives as a scuba instructors), my husband made an entire tabletop for our picnic, we did our own picnic food, wrote our own playlists, made all our own stationary/signage, built a tepee etc. etc. etc. I had the luxury of time during this planning process: if you don’t, limit yourself to fewer projects or there’s every chance you’ll lose your mind

We learned that it was the ‘little things’ that our guests loved and appreciated the most: handmade cards with personalized ‘love letters’ to be read during the ceremony, love quote cards at each person’s place at dinner, hand painted welcome tote bags, home-made (elephant-shaped!) cookies. All the things that cost next to nothing! You don’t need to spend mega bucks to warm someone’s heart.

If DIY is not your thing, I still suggest finding just a couple of little things to tackle yourself/with your families to make the event your own. Nothing about our day was picture perfect/Pinterest-worthy but I am so proud of what we created together and it means the world to me that others got involved and did so much for us. My Mum put in literally a thousand hours researching and making my dress: that’s worth more than anything I could ever buy in the fanciest store!

 I surprised Chad with a love song I wrote for him and we wrote individual love letters for our guests on handmade cards which they opened during the ceremony.

Favorite part of your wedding day

Hands down, the ceremony. We both felt people forget about this part and, really, it's the most important part of the whole event. We had every guest in tears. We wrote the entire thing ourselves. I surprised Chad with a love song I wrote for him and we wrote individual love letters for our guests on handmade cards which they opened during the ceremony.

And your second favorite part of your wedding day...

The Silent disco!
SO. MUCH. FUN. If you have a small group and are not sure how the evening will progress – will they dance, will it be a party – SILENT DISCO is your friend! This was one of the best choices we made and it turned a very pleasant evening into an absolute BLAST! And a 4am blinder for many of our guests. It was a gamble, we had no idea what the vibe would be, come evening but as soon as one guest discovered it, that was it, everyone went crazy!

What was totally worth it?

​I put in so much time and energy but it was totally worth it to me as I am creative and found huge satisfaction in it. It's actually leading me down a new career path as an elopement planner hopefully! Some of the simplest details like the love letters for guests were very much worth the effort, they were so appreciated. The multiple cake trials: worth it!

Photography: this was our relative ‘splurge’ and we’re so glad. We asked for lots of candids and they are our absolute favourites, not the posed ‘perfect’ ones. We also paid for a one hour shoot the day after at sunset. This was a fabulous time to get the amazing landscape shots we dreamed of: no hair, no makeup, just the wild ocean. We also took the opportunity to share our vows with each other a second time to really absorb them peacefully. And, my biggest advice for photography, wait for your photos and get them at a time when you and your spouse can sit and enjoy them together. We asked our photographer to wait ten weeks and to send them to us on a specific day when we knew we would be free together. By this stage, the madness had passed, we were back to ‘normal’ and looking through them and reliving everything was just beautiful. Fight the urge for instant gratification: it’s worth the wait!

What was not worth it?

My regrets! Making choices too soon and succumbing to Pinterest: I spent $200 on fucking robes very early on simply because ‘that’s what one does’. My girls aren’t the robe wearing sorts AT ALL.
Fortunately, this was a one-off mistake and all future choices were made without the ‘help’ of Pinterest. My one real regret is not thinking to film the ceremony, at least on a GoPro. I didn’t want a videographer and am happy with that choice but some truly beautiful words were spoken at our ceremony – by our siblings and our parents – and I would love to hear them again and really absorb them.

Stay away from Pinterest, fancy wedding blogs etc. Nothing about your day 'should' be anything.

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?

Everything. The best advice I heard on Bridechilla was to throw the whole damn wedding in, then pull out the parts you and your future spouse actually want. For us, a lot stayed in: speeches, formal dances, cutting of the cake (just eat the damn thing!), being 'given away' (we walked in together), matchy matchy expensive bridal party outfits (girls: short white dress, guys: grey pants, white shirt).

Do not do anything just so you can get a nice photo and show it off on Facebook! 

What advice do you have for other couples planning their weddings?

"Comparison is the thief of joy". Stay away from Pinterest, fancy wedding blogs etc. Nothing about your day 'should' be anything.
This is tough but I tried to have stern words with myself during the planning process and stay honest with myself: do not do anything just so you can get a nice photo and show it off on Facebook! That is your ego at work. If there wasn't ever going to a photo of it, would you still do it? If the answer is no, STOP doing it and focus your energies elsewhere.

How did Bridechilla help you plan your wedding?

Saved my sanity, truly. I love remotely and was planning a destination wedding so I had a very limited support network. The Chillas were my virtual bridesmaids! And a phenomenal sounding board to figure out details and keep the Pinterest monsters at bay.

Which Bridechilla resources did you use when planning your wedding?

The Bridechilla Podcast, The Bridechilla Blog, Bridechilla Community on Facebook

Biggest lessons learned from wedding planning

If at all possible, extend the event to more than a few hours: a weekend or more if you can! For us, the day itself was magical but everything either side was just as special and allowed us to spend so much time with loved ones. It made the months and months of effort all seem worthwhile.

  • Small weddings are just as much work as bigger weddings! You still need to go through all the same stages of planning, you still need to find all the same vendors etc. However, the true beauty of a small wedding is on the day itself: you have time! Time to relax, time to chat to everyone, time to make memories, time to have fun. At no stage did my husband and I feel rushed or like time was passing by too quickly.
  • Put time and energy into your ceremony. It was our favourite part of the day, hands down. I smiled so much my face hurt and I have never felt so enveloped in love in my life! Don’t be scared to make it your own. We wrote it ourselves and had our siblings officiate. We walked down the ‘aisle’/garden path together as my BIL played guitar. We sat for the majority of the ceremony, standing just for our vows. We all had drinks before, during, and after! We had our parents share their marriage advice. And, my favourite part, I surprised my husband with a song I had written for him. We live on a small boat and work together 24/7 so I was so happy I could keep this one little thing a secret!
  • Fight the pressure for perfection! Easier said than done, I know. We all succumb to it. I worried about my skin, about my squint teeth, about my bazillion smile lines. It turns out I only wore one earring for about half the day, my hair was hanging messily around my face from dancing too hard! All those imperfections are staring back at me in the photos but, truly, all I see now is HAPPINESS! I’m NOT perfect, you’re not perfect and THAT’S OK coz we ARE all awesome!

Planning a destination Wedding- How did you connect with vendors?

If, like us, you are finding all your own vendors – especially from afar - absolutely trust your gut. For me, communication is key and if I didn’t immediately get the right vibe via e-mail it was a firm NO. I did a ton or research, reached out to so many people and ended up with the most incredible team. People we'd never met till the week before made our day more than we ever dreamed of.

I loved planning, absolutely thrived on it, and planned every last detail of our entire two-week event. I can’t lie: it was so much work. If it brings you pleasure like it did me, great! If it doesn’t, and it’s in your budget, hire a planner. The whole process of the wedding should be HAPPY, not just the day itself. It really saddens me how many Chillas are bogged down by problems, stress and drama. If you’re unhappy, it’s in your power to change it. I know it may not be easy, but you can do it.

For me, wedding planning was life-changing. It brought me huge pleasure, taught me new skills, revealed new passions. I have plans slowly formulating to start my own elopement company.

For those still planning, the very best advice I heard here… Throw the whole wedding in the Fuck It Bucket. The whole damn thing! Now, start pulling out the things you and your partner actually WANT!

HAPPY DAYS!

Vanessa and Chad's Rockstar Vendors


Photographer: stellasassen.co.za
Rentals: Goeters: www.baiegoeters.co.za
Private Chef: Flying Pan: www.flyingpan.co.za
Silent Disco: White Noise: www.whitenoise.co.za

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Stacey and Ryan’s Intimate Vintage Mountain Wedding

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

​Ryan and I have been together for 7 years. We met at a party at my parents' house after my stepdad hired him for his first job out of college. After that summer, we both went back to school in different states and decided to stay long-distance between Texas and Oklahoma to see where things went. I just kept thinking to myself that I would stay in this relationship as long as it made me happy and not worry about the future!
After a couple of years, I decided to move back to New Mexico to be with Ryan and my family. We moved in together, got a dog, and loved traveling and playing board games with friends.
When Ryan got a job in Colorado we faced a turning point in our relationship. We made the decision to stay committed to each other and he proposed on an Alaskan cruise with the 7-year-old map he had drawn to my parents' house from the night we met. We both moved up to Colorado and have been enjoying camping, hiking, and skiing in the mountains.

Designer Stacey designed their invitation suite Aspen Scribe

We ditched the Pinterest Board and Started from Scratch

Like every couple, we really wanted the day to feel like our own. I had a whole Pinterest board before we got engaged, but I chucked it out the window because it was all rustic with lace and mason jars—and I felt like I was planning somebody else's wedding (no hate on that theme; it's beautiful). And we started from scratch. Making the decision to get married in Colorado was hard because that meant both families would have to travel, but we decided to do what was right for us—and we wanted the mountain venue!

Navigating the challenges of planning a big event as introverts

One of our biggest priorities (and challenges) was keeping the day intimate. As introverts, neither of us wanted to stand in front of a crowd of people we only knew half of. We chose our venue because of the slightly smaller size, and saved money by choosing a Friday date. We also decided that kids (save our nieces) weren't appropriate for this venue or the kind of event we were having. It was hard to do this, but in the end it all worked out for the better.
I'm also a professional designer and love to do projects, so it was really important to me to include special handmade details throughout the day. I spent months hand-crafting our custom invitation suite and made a few signs using barn wood from Ryan's family farm in Oklahoma. About 10 months before our wedding, a very special cherry tree in my parents' backyard fell over—and after crying about it for a good 20 minutes, I took my mom's offer of using it for the wedding and hand-lettered each guest's name onto a slice of wood for their place card. I thought that would be a detail that was only important to me, but our guests took them home afterwards and have been doing all kinds of fun things with them!

What was your favorite part of your wedding day?

My favorite part of the entire day happened right after the ceremony. There's a small amount of time that the bride and groom get alone together before everyone else comes in for the recessional and our feeling of elation was so high at that point. I'll never forget the kiss we shared right then and what it felt like to have done it!
Okay, okay. And I know I've rambled for a bit but I have to share the most classic part of the day. First, it downpoured right before our outdoor ceremony (yes, we had a plan B). And I had no idea. Guests afterwards kept asking me if I was freaking out, but really, I was just glad about this:
When I arrived at the venue, I walked up to the doorway with my brother and our photographer. As we approached the doorway, I heard a hissing noise—and looked over to see a large rattlesnake reared up, fangs bared, and rattling/hissing 10 feet away from my brother! We backed away, used a different entrance, and the venue called a ranger but eventually the snake just went away on its own. So rain wasn't the worst thing that could have happened to us and it gave us some great perspective and a great story.

What was totally worth it?

My invitations. I know a lot of people throw fancy invitations in the FIB, but I spent hours and hours on mine and loved every minute. We got so many compliments on them and people really appreciated the attention to detail.
My dress. Y'all... the cost of wedding dresses can be INSANE I know. We splurged a little more than I had planned on mine—and it wasn't even my mom or grandma's favorite. But I loved it so much and it made me feel so incredible.
The. Open. Bar. And I don't mean this in a "you're a bad host if you don't have one" way, because, ew. We didn't think we had it in our budget, but we found a company in Colorado that did it for just $16 (yes, SIXTEEN) dollars a person for the entire night (whaaaat?!). So we spent the money on it and it really helped loosen everyone up for the dancing and socializing. And our guests were grateful for it. I have photos of my cousins hanging out with my friends from college. Of Ryan's uncle dancing in the middle of a group of my aunts. Everyone mingled and I don't think it would have been the same without the bar.

What was not worth it?

​Okay... I know this sounds cliche and like I am seeing our day through rose-colored glasses. There was a lot of stress leading up to the day and it wasn't a fun year planning. But I wouldn't have changed a thing.

Oh, this. Meeting with wedding planners wasn't worth it. I didn't end up hiring one, which made me really nervous because of our short timeline for setup. But I put a trusted aunt of mine in charge and my family tackled everything beautifully! I did make sure everything was ridiculously (and y'all, I mean ridiculously) organized for them, but they were happy to help and another vendor would have just gotten in the way. Not sure I would have the same advice to others unless they have ready and willing people like mine!

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?

Everything traditional beyond the first dances! No bouquet toss, no garter toss, no cake cutting... just a really fun party! And we got feedback from everyone about how much fun it was instead of feeling like a checklist of things to get done during the night.
We also threw the traditional timeline in the FIB and did a first look, which was fabulous because it calmed us both down before the ceremony, and we were able to get photos out of the way so we could enjoy cocktail hour!
Transportation. People are adults. They can get somewhere on time and drive responsibly on their own.
Our traditional American rehearsal dinner also went in the FIB. At first I didn't want to do this—I wanted a nice wedding party dinner in an intimate setting without the whole family around—but as the planning went on I found that I didn't think the money was worth it, and just went with my mom's suggestion of using the fabulous AirBnb they had rented with a barn area out in the back. My MIL had tacos brought in and we ended up inviting the whole extended family—which was GREAT after all because then everyone had been around each other before the wedding so it was more relaxed and much less divided on the wedding day.

What advice do you have for other couples planning their weddings?

​Try to just feel gratitude, not guilt. I spent a lot of time worrying about other people—how much my bridesmaids were spending to travel, how awful of a person I was for not inviting all of my parents' friends when they were helping us pay for the wedding, how everyone would have to take time off for our Friday date. And in the end, everyone was so happy to be there and to be a part of it. They all had a fantastic time and I learned that while it's YOUR special day, it will be special for others too.
Also, hire professionals. They're good at their job and they'll make everything better for you.

How did Bridechilla help you plan your wedding?

Bridechilla helped to keep me sane! There were so many times that I felt so alone throughout the process. It was great to have a community of people to reach out to who would respond with understanding and not judgment.

Stacey and Ryan’s Rockstar Vendors

VENUE: Boettcher Mansion
PHOTOGRAPHER: Grace Gatto
VIDEOGRAPHER: White Summit Films
OFFICIANT: Carl Bloom
DJ: Quality Mobile Sound
CATERING: Colorado Catering Company
RENTALS: (linens, dishes)- Colorado Party Rentals
BEVERAGES: Peak Beverage
CUPCAKES: Gold Mine Cupcakes
INVITATIONS + DESIGN: Aspen Scribe (that's me, the bride!)
FLORIST: The bride’s aunt
HAIR AND MAKEUP: Shear Abby
BRIDAL SHOP: Amanda’s Bridal
DRESS DESIGNER: Casablanca
GROOMSMEN ATTIRE: Men’s Wearhouse
GROOM’S ATTIRE: Suit Supply
REHEARSAL DINNER: Held at a family AirBnb, catered by Torchy’s Tacos
WEDDING PARTY TIES: Knotty Tie Co
COORDINATOR: Family and friends

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Tessa and Mark’s Bright + Bold Beach Wedding in Los Angeles

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Let's take a moment to look on the bright side with Tessa and Mark! This fun-loving couple wanted their wedding to reflect their positive, upbeat personalities, so they enlisted the help of Modern Rebel to plan and design their day! Lead Planner, Ainsley shares the all the colorful details of this beachside wedding at the Long Beach Museum of Art!

Tell us about the Wedding!

Ainsley: Tessa and Mark are wildly in love - in love with life, each other, their amazing group of friends, and saying YES to color + giving back to good causes. If you're looking for your hope for the future, we've found it - it's these two and their totally eccentric energy and zest for life. Given the incredible joy that have in their day to day lives, it was no secret we wanted that to reflect in their design.

So, our team at Modern Rebel & Co. designed, planned, and coordinated a love-party that would make even the two-left feet folks want to dance. There was color at every turn, banana leaf print linens, ninja turtle socks, fresh fruit on the tables, a custom crossword about the newlyweds, and a video booth cause this couple is obsessed with toasts! To top it all off - a funfetti cake because WHY NOT?

The planning timeline was initially 9 months but it was fast tracked to 3 months - yes, you read that right! The groom's brother's deployment status changed and the couple couldn't bear having him miss it. We planned, designed with only 3 months - good thing we found the coolest, kindest vendors who just dug this couple and wanted "in." It was a dreamy total love-party for this incredible California couple. Aside from all the amazing details, pops of color, and just everyone's shared splendor on the day - it was the best man [groom's brother] speech that made it all worth it. He was able to attend. Their community was right there alongside them and it's their vibrancy that gave the wedding the color more than any of the fine details.

Tessa & Mark's Rockstar Vendors

​Wedding Planning : MODERN REBEL - Amy Shackelford

Event Designer:  MODERN REBEL - Chelsa Cass

Venue + Catering: Long Beach Museum of Art

Photographer: Lauren Crew 

Videographer: Paper Bird 

Florist: Second Nature Creations

Dessert: Cakes by HollyK 

DJ: Colin Stutz

Car Service: Karmel Transportation

Video Booth: Speechbooth

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An Intimate Whirlwind Italian Destination Wedding Adventure

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Lindsay and Ben take us on a journey through the stunning images from their intimate Italian destination wedding at La Tagliata in Positano, Italy.

Lindsay shares about this magical trip with their closest friends and family as well as the challenges of planning a wedding on the other side of the world when you don't speak the same language as your wedding vendors!

Tell us a little about you and your partner!

Lindsay: I know it's cliche to describe your significant other as your best friend, but from the moment we met almost 11 years ago, Ben and I were best friends. It wasn't a particularly unique meeting - mutual friends in college - but what happened from that moment on was one of those incredibly easy, storybook-without-all-the-problematic-nonsense kinds of love. And the proposal couldn't have been more representative of that; Ben had been on tour with his band in Japan, and I flew over to explore with him after his last show. We arranged to spend a night living among the monks at a buddhist monastery. When we arrived, we were graciously gifted with friendship bracelets that had been blessed to bring us happiness in our lives. The next day, sitting on the banks of a river surrounded by beautiful Japanese lanterns, Ben pulled his Buddhist friendship bracelet out of pocket, wrapped it around my finger, and asked me to be his best friend forever.

Tell us all about your event!

After working years as videographers in the wedding industry, we had seen it all. Our first priority was to find a way to do it that didn't feel like a day at the office. Considering our love of travel and incredible food, a destination wedding seemed like an obvious choice.

The process was intensive at first. We performed all the requisite steps - checking with the VIPs to make sure everyone is on board, signing up for every flight alert known to man, and going to 12 different dress appointments before giving up and buying my dream dress online, sight-unseen. I spent more hours Googling (in multiple languages!) than any human should ever have to.

Once we found La Tagliata, a family-run restaurant with private terraces overlooking the Amalfi coast, our dream wedding was pretty much set. It was easy take a step back and let everything else come together as it may. I told the bridal party to wear whatever they wanted, I never gave a thought to tablecloths or napkins or centerpieces, and I made a bouquet with flowers we found around the property we rented for our friends. The only thing that mattered to us was having an incredible adventure with our closest friends and family, and that's what we got!

I did DIY two projects that I absolutely love. First, I'm an amateur metalsmith and I specialize in fine jewelry, so it was an absolute joy to make our rings. After the original proposal in Japan, I came home and set to work on my engagement ring and wedding band. I'm excited to look down at it in 20 or 50 years, and be able to say, "Wow, I made that."

Second, I wanted to do something special and unique for my best friend, who had been so supportive throughout the planning process. In lieu of a traditional Maid of Honor gift, I hand painted matching leather jackets so we could be beautiful badasses everywhere we go together.

To be honest, the most special moment of the entire process was looking around the table at the end of the night, seeing so many people who love us enough to fly across the world to join us on our adventure, and seeing them all so joyful. That moment was worth everything.

What was totally worth it?

Honestly, everything. Every moment of research that brought us to our venue, every moment spent agonizing over making sure everyone I knew was getting the BEST deal on their flight possible, and every moment I spent worried about not being able to control every detail from the other side of the world was 1000% worth it. But if I have to choose ONE thing besides the destination itself, I'd say investing in a house big enough to spend the week with our closest friends. Not only do we have an entire week's worth of memories together that I'll cherish for a lifetime, but it alleviated some of the financial burden of travel on them - and that was so important to us. We specifically chose a venue that allowed us to afford this, and we're so glad we did. We were able to have our dream, without it being a huge burden to our loved ones. 

What was not worth it?

Sweating the details. You have to be willing to let some things go when you plan a destination wedding. I tried to focus entirely on the experience - if a detail directly impacted my guests' enjoyment, it was worth my attention. If not, whatever happens, happens. For instance, we decided to splurge on having a musician entertain guests throughout thelong meal, and it was a hit! Everyone loved dancing and clapping along, and trying out the traditional Italian instruments. But every moment I spent worrying about not having any decor (who wants to fly with luggage full of wedding decor?) was a moment wasted. It was beautiful. People were happy. Candles wouldn't have changed that!

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?

Our Fuck-It Bucket was full. The nature of a DIY destination wedding means that a lot of traditional aspects won't apply: lots of guests, lots of decor, and lots of control. We DIY'd the little things like hair and makeup. But the most important thing to put in the FIB was other people's expectations. This was OUR dream, and even those who didn't understand it eventually got on board and had an incredible time.

What advice do you have for other couples planning their weddings?

If you're considering a destination wedding, DO IT. I mean, have a series of very frank conversations with your must have guest list about timing and cost, make sure everyone is on board, and then DO IT. It takes research and the ability to let go of the little details, but the affordability and pay off can be incredible if you find the right vendors.

Lindsay & Ben's Rockstar Vendors

Photographer: Alyssa Lentz of A.Lentz Photography

Venue, Catering, Dessert, & Transportation: La Tagliata

AirBnB: Villa Deli

Rings: Dearest Darling Co

Lindsay's Gown: Watters from BHLDN

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Carly and Nick’s Art Deco and Fantasy Wedding

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Bridechilla Carly shares her and Nick's art deco fantasy wedding which she describes as a the ultimate party hosted by J.R.R Tolkein and F. Scott Fitzgerald full of Lord of the Rings and Gatsby inspired details. Featuring photography by Bridechilla Wedding Directory members, Kivus & Camera.

Tell us a little about you and your partner!

Carly: Nick was and is the greatest surprise of my life. We met at a bar because mutual friends invited us to the same get together, we sat beside each other all night -- not really sure if we liked each other, until he asked me out for a late night cheeseburger -- post bar. We stayed out till 4am, driving around, going to gazebos to look at the stars, him twirling me around to Michael Buble, and singing -- it was like a damn movie. The first song I ever sang to him actually happened to be the Veggie Tales Cheeseburger song (in the voice of Mr. Lunt -- look it up, it's worth a laugh). I have no clue why he asked me on a second date after that but I sure am glad he did. 


He is the most compassionate, selfless, and SUAVE person I know. I think the story of how I knew I was in love with him is pretty telling of his character. When we first started dating, he had a nice thick winter coat in the back of his car hanging up from the dry cleaner. It stayed there for weeks, I didn't understand why he didn't take it inside or use it (it was winter, and COLD). He got a new car a month after my discovery (still winter), and the coat went right to the back seat.. so I finally asked why he had that coat still in the back of his car. His response moved me to tears. He very nonchalantly explained that: "there is a homeless man I always see on Tate St near my house, I've been meaning to give him this coat but I haven't seen him in awhile, so it's going to stay there until I do." That's all he said, then went right back to what he was saying before. I knew right then, that he was a truly special person. About two weeks after that conversation, the coat finally disappeared from his backseat. I never brought it up again, but I knew that meant it finally went to its new home. His compassion for others is something that still leaves me in awe of him, even now.


He proposed to me on a rooftop pool overlooking the skyline of my favorite NC city (Winston-Salem) after a day disguised as a "couples photoshoot." He originally wanted to propose in a field of sunflowers (my favorite flowers), but the week he wanted to propose... they all died due to the NC heat in July. So he had to make a backup plan since the photographer was booked. It ended up going swimmingly (haha rooftop pool jokes). Then he crammed all of our friends in his home for a surprise engagement party. It was magical.


Nick is a closet nerd hiding behind a three piece suit, while I'm just a nerd with a wardrobe like Ms. Frizzle. We're opposites, but it really works! Our weekends are spent as a Paladin and a Rogue going on adventures in Dungeons and Dragons, or taking nice walks through our neighborhood. We enjoy good whiskey, making fun of each other, and our family of fur babies (two rabbits -- Emerson & Arwen, and our blue point Siamese -- Sammi, who sometimes gets nicknamed as our Alien).

Tell us all about your event!

Oh man... our wedding. We have very different personalities and tastes, so we started there. We wanted to find a way to meld them. So I chose the ceremony inspiration, and he chose the reception. He's very glitz and glam, while I'm very earthy and outwardly nerdy. I chose a "Lord of the Rings" (my all time favorite book and movie series) inspiration for the ceremony, and he chose a "The Great Gatsby" inspiration for the reception. We wanted to meld my Elven princess feel with his Jay Gatsby suave.


A huge priority for the both of us was to produce as little waste as possible. We're both environmentally conscious, and we wanted that mindset to extend to our wedding. We decided to rent most everything (vintage gold rimmed china, center pieces, and other decor). We also wanted to utilize as many local vendors as possible. We made DIY fairy forest lanterns for the ceremony site, mirror signs we could re-use, re-purposed a vintage door as a seating chart (a key to your seat, with skeleton key beer bottle openers with table number tags), used a theatre schools backdrop for our "Love Couch," had a florist friend repurpose already used flowers for florals, DIYed book page boutonnières out of recycled copies of LOTR and The Great Gatsby. We had so many family members willing to donate reusable decor items, that we didn't rack up a huge carbon footprint for the wedding, which was a WEDDING WIN!

Carly & Nick's art deco fantasy wedding inspired by The Great Gatsby and Lord of the Rings - Photos by Kivus and Camera - www.thebridechilla.com


I made my now husband embark on a very Leslie Knope scavenger hunt in order for him to find his wedding present, and for me.. all day, randomly gifts would appear.

We did a blindfolded first "look" where we could still have a few private moments to ourself. Our wedding party walked us to each other blindfolded, let us have a few moments like that, then we turned back to back to read private vows to each other, with our wedding party far enough away to where they wouldn't hear.

The ceremony was officiated by a professional Santa, although he didn't come dressed as Santa. That's just a side hustle of his.

All of our ceremony music came from Lord of the Rings. Both my grandfather and step-father walked me to the beginning of the aisle, where they departed to their seats, and I walked down the aisle alone.

The reception, we did a beer cheers together instead of a cake cutting, and it was very us. We had enchiladas on fine china, and it still cracks us up.

I am sure there is plenty more, but my brain is losing its ability to remember it all! It was a perfect day.

What was totally worth it?

EVERYTHING. 100%. The year and a half of stress and planning was definitely worth it.

What was not worth it?

There was nothing that we paid for that we felt was not worth it, because we really utilized the FIB.

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?

Cake, a real seating chart, a religious officiant, people's expectations/opinions other than our own, paper RSVPs, chair covers, uplighting, the "give away" portion of the ceremony, GIFTS - we didn't do parent gifts, "fancy" food, a normal guestbook (we did a canvas of a hobbit hole), a getaway car, formal speeches, LINE DANCES (we hate all of them and we made it clear to our DJ they were not allowed).


What advice do you have for other couples planning weddings?

Be true to who you are as people. Don't be afraid to have the nerdiest wedding on planet if that is what you want. Your wedding is what you make it, and only you can decide what "feels" right to you!

HIRE A WEDDING COORDINATOR. We almost put it in the FIB but we are so glad we didn't. We had 0 worries because our coordinator KICKED ASS.

Also, unless your FIL, FMIL, mom, dad, etc are paying for it, their opinions on your preferences aren't worth your stress.

Carly & Nick's Rockstar Vendors

Bridechilla Wedding Directory Members

Photography: Kivus & Camera

Other Vendors

Wedding Director/Venue: Melanie Newton of Carolina Country Weddings
Coordinator: Belinda Locke
China Rentals: Evermore
DJ: Marcus @ Coastal DJ & Video
Videography: Zack Fox & Chris Scarlette of Scarlette Fox Films
Catering: An Event to Remember
Floral Design: John Paulin at the Grassy Knoll
Bartenders: Bartenders Plus CLT
Officiant: Jac Grimes of All Faiths Officiants
Paper Florals: Anthology on Main

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Whitney + Daniel’s Steampunk Wedding in a Victorian Mansion

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

An elaborate and detailed DIY Steampunk Wedding at a Victorian Mansion in Austin, TX

In honor of Halloween tomorrow, we wanted to share the fantastical Steampunk Wedding of Whitney & Daniel. They were married at the Caswell House in Austin, Texas in February of 2018. Much of this wedding was designed and created by Whitney herself, including her attire, the cake, the flowers, invitations, and much of the decor!

In true Bridechilla spirit, Whitney and Daniel prove that it doesn't need to actually be Halloween to have the costume party wedding of your dreams! Be yourself and embrace your unique personalities and styles when planning your wedding. 

Tell us about you and your partner!

Whitney: We met 8 years ago in a Starbucks in downtown Austin. Daniel was quietly reading when Whitney impulsively came over, introduced herself, and left her phone number on a napkin. Clearly, he called!

We make a great couple: Whitney brings a beautiful, free spirit by always encouraging us to have fun and try new things while Daniel, who is always contemplating and talking, ensures a constant stream of fresh and curious discussions. Overall we balance each other out really well and just have a blast together!

We love costume parties! (obviously), Renaissance festivals, camping, keeping up with and discussing current events, and loving our 3 animals (2 dogs and a cat).

Tell us all about your event!

Our number one priority was to get married our way by having our best friends and closest family members together for an amazingly magical evening.

We focused on 19th century authenticity with details added throughout the venue and the evening (background music was playing on a gramophone as guests arrived). Even for simple things where renting may have been easy such as tablecloths and china to elaborate things like the wedding cake and bride/groom attire. Whitney took time to individually find and/or make these items so they were selected with intention, were unique, and felt just right. She also, with the help of her friend, arranged all of the flowers, centerpieces, and decor around the house.


Perhaps the most important details, however, were the entertainment throughout the night. We sought to fill the venue with activities common for a Victorian era party, and so among other things included a magician, a seance board, a poker table, caricature artist, a smoking parlor with hookahs and cigars, an old school photo booth, and a piñata filled with love quotes (an admittedly Texan touch). We also peppered into the mix a newly-wed game, a best-dressed costume contest, opened up the dance floor with a romantic era-appropriate waltz, and ended the evening with a horse-drawn carriage ride.

What was totally worth it?

We paid for a couple of extra hours to the venue for more time to set up for our big night.

What was not worth it?

The dart board. A small purchase but the venue would not let us put it up. They had a good point.

What advice do you have for other couples planning their weddings?

While this might seem obvious, the evening happens so quickly one might not realize until it is over, the importance of spending time with your partner. When the two of us think back over our favorite moments of the evening they are when we were interacting together and sharing our special night with each other.

Whitney & Daniel's Rockstar Vendors

Photographer: Nikk Nguyen Photo
Event Rentals: ML Events
Transportation: Austin Carriage
Caricature Artist: Jerry Cardona
Entertainment: Essen Entertainment
Hair Stylist: Austin Wedding Hair
Catering: Pascal's Catering
Venue: Caswell House

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Madi & Jeremy’s Chic & Colorful Modern Wedding

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

A chic, quirky, and colorful modern wedding at
The Grand Event Center in Columbus, OH. 

Madi and Jeremy absolutely mastered the art of balancing quirky, colorful vibes and elegance with delightful results!

A bright and vivid, citrus inspired color palette was used throughout the event in details such as the bouquets and boutonnieres and reception decor was complimented by chic white bridesmaid dresses and classic black tuxes. The ceremony was held in a stunning church with a round sanctuary and high, vaulted ceilings. The unique architecture complimented to tropical inspired florals designs and the mid-century modern details of their aesthetic. They finished their ceremony within ribbon wand exit as guests gathered in a colorful line of well wishes. Their modern wedding reception was perfectly coordinated and included delightful details such as greeters on stilts and boldly decorated dining tables and a gorgeous all-white wedding cake. The carefully curated design aesthetic and unique experience they gave their guests spoke to the refined taste and fun personalities of the couple.

Madi: When we started the planning process, I knew I wanted something non-traditional in aesthetic, and I was gravitating toward tropical warm palates from orange tulips and blood oranges.  I then chose a bridesmaid dress in white brushed silk and clear acrylic heels, as a nod to my grandmother's wedding that also featured bridesmaids in mid calf white dresses with those vintage acrylic shoes with dried flowers set in the heel. The Hailey Paige dress I chose spoke to me because the beading and head to toe sequin differentiated me from what would become an all black and white bridal party.

Our florist, Steven Cox, understood our vision completely in the floral design, opting for a gradient bouquet from deep plum to yellow and tropical compilations for the bridesmaids.  He included cut open citrus on tables and in floral arrangements as a nod to our original color inspiration.  

We had touches of our travels together as a couple on each table, where guests looked for photos from cities and countries we have visited as opposed to conventional table numbers. 

Madi & Jeremy's Rockstar Vendors

Photography: Amy Peppercorn Photography

Venue: The Grand Event Center - Columbus, OH

Ceremony Venue: St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church, Victorian Village OH

Flowers: Steven Cox Florist

Makeup: Angela Culver, ARC Artistry

Hair: Lori Dougherty, Mira Mira

Dress: Haley Paige, ​Henri's Cloud Nine Bridal

Bridesmaid dresses:  Bridal & Formal, Cincinnati OH

Suits: Men's Warehouse

Stationery: Poeme

Music/DJ: Mark Dantzer Productions

Cake: The Flour Pot Cakes

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Stephanie & Jesse’s Impromptu Retro Inspired Dive Bar Wedding

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Bridechilla Graduate, Stephanie, shares her impromptu wedding to Jesse which they planned in 48 Hours at their favorite dive bar!

Tell us a little about you and your partner!

We first met at our wedding venue through a close friend and both would go there just to run into each other and talk all night for years. Fast forward a long while and we have a five year old daughter, an adorable house, full time careers, and are BUSYYY! We make time for date night, family vacations, forts in the living room, movies in the back yard, and fall in love more and more while having so much fun. He completely balances me and is the best co-parent I could ever imagine. He proposed to me with our daughter; at bedtime he called me in to kiss her good night and she had the ring box open in her little hands! He got down on one knee and took my breath away (even though I kind of knew it was coming form the romantic dinner and seeing a box shape in his pocket all night!)

Tell us all about your event!

We always feel like we are married and already have the end result. At least once a week for over a year he would say "Can we just get married tomorrow? I don't want to not be married to you anymore". This week I agreed and my over achieving, obsessive planning self threw our latest "May the Fourth" speakeasy jazz brunch concept directly into the FIB...AND IT FELT SO GOOD! The next morning (Wednesday) I texted him at work and said "Let's take the day off Friday and get married at the Courthouse!" He loved it over iMessage and thought I was joking until I called him at Lunch telling him we couldn't get a judge in time so my best friend had just gotten Ordained online. He was over the moon since I am driving him mad and have changed the date, concept, and venue about 6 times because of my indecisiveness/ complaints from my mother and made us loose 2 deposits in the process. It made most sense to have the wedding where we met and where we celebrate everything important to us; Nolan's Corner Pub! My newly ordained lifelong best friend tends bar there on Friday evenings and a wonderful friend of ours owns the establishment and was thrilled to let us hold it there. Wednesday we let everyone know (Luckily our families could make it on short notice on a holiday weekend).


We had a LOT to do in two work days and didn't have attire or rings. I used the accessories I wore in my sister-in-law's wedding and just ordered my $35 bridesmaid dress again in white (thank goodness for Amazon one day delivery!). We scored and got his entire ensemble along with our rings at JC Penny. Our mothers and Aunts pitched in and took care of everything else, it was amazing! My aunt who lives out of state got our flowers, cake, brought my grandmothers pearls, gifted me heirloom crystal glasses, AND picked my daughter up at daycare so I could get ready in peace! Our mothers kept magically showing up and paying for random purchases like plates and decor. My friends from work came with a couple dishes, my MIL brought salad, and my parents ordered way too much pizza after the ceremony. I was up late the night before unexpectedly altering my dress and am so glad I took the entire day off friday! I dropped my daughter off, found somewhere to press my dress in an hour, died my hair, got an up-do from my mom's best friend (and drove there with wet nails, and met my fiance at City hall to get the marriage license after he left work at lunch. I did my make up, we got dressed and got to the venue an hour before the ceremony to set up with my two best friends. Everyone showed up, mingled and drank until 6:30 pm, when I quickly pulled our sisters outside and had asked a close friend play a song my dad loved (on his iPhone) for me to walk into with my Stepfather with. My best friend seemed as she was made for this moment and gave the most heartfelt, personalized, hysterical, nerdy ceremony I could have ever imagined. I couldn't get myself to look up, but my husband said there was not a dry eye in the room and I could feel the room about to explode with love. It was everything I could have every imagined and am so thrilled everything happened the way it did. We stayed at the bar late and loved the reactions of our friends spilling in realizing they were at our wedding! Photography has always been the most important component to me through every wedding we planned, and I am so incredibly lucky to have an Uncle has a hobby that he is unbelievable at! I can't stop looking at the photos!

What was totally worth it?

Going with our gut, taking charge, and doing what we wanted on OUR DAY! Also, there was no time for anything to spin out of control! My mom was a little appalled at pizza and champagne but to us that is heaven on earth!

What was not worth it?

I was stressing out too much about markers and the sign for our globe guest book...no one cares!

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?

THE ENTIRE WEDDING!

What advice do you have for other engaged couples?

I was so concerned about pleasing our families (especially my mother) but realized a lot of that pressure was self-made and everyone just wanted us to be MARRIED.
Take charge of your vision but also give in to the things that aren't as important but are to your families. For example: We didn't want toasting glasses but agreed because both our mothers wanted them, and why not if it makes them happy? Then my Aunt gifted us a beautiful crystal pair her and my uncle used on their wedding day and my best friend gifted us Star Wars inspired no-stem glasses. We were dead set against it (Who brings glasses to a bar?) and ended up taking photos and toasting each other with BOTH sets of glasses that we will always treasure!

How did Bridechilla help you plan your wedding?

The concept of the FIB was a radical game changer for me and completely revolutionized the way I viewed my wedding. One day on the way home from work I was listening to an episode where Erica talks about her Elopement ceremony and had everyone meet on a whim and go to a food truck rodeo and it blew my mind and has been in the back of my mind for MONTHS! Without The Podcast and the Bridechilla Community I wouldn't have gotten into the mindset to take charge and do exactly what we wanted. THANK YOU!!

Stephanie & Jesse's Rockstar Vendors

Venue: Nolan's Corner Pub

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An Eclectic Backyard Wedding Full of Homemade Details

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Heather & Matthew were married in an eclectic backyard wedding full of meaningful, homemade details. Photographer, Jessica Hunt shares a bit about their day...

Jessica Hunt: This wedding day is like none other I've ever photographed. Though an incredible team of vendors came together to make the wedding day happen, most of the planning and unique details of the day came straight from the couple! The ceremony entrance, arbor, bar, and dance floor were all built by the bride's father and Pawpaw. Truly a handmade-backyard affair!

Every little detail was poured over with love, each decoration and moment thought through. From the 'Wizard of OZ' quotes placed throughout the bride's parents' backyard to the handmade details, each little thing fit Heather and Matthew perfectly. Heather gifted her bridesmaids a pair of earrings, a handwritten note, and a forest green shaw to warm them up on the pretty November day. Matthew wore a velvet maroon suite jacket, and I loved his little fancy pocket square. The 'flower girls' were really 'feather girls' who threw feathers instead of petals, and the couple's friends and family showered them with paper airplanes as they walked down the aisle as Mr. & Mrs. for the first time. The paper airplanes were an important detail for Heather and Matthew because Matthew is a plane/drone hobbyist. They said their vows in front of a sea of candles and a handmade arbor made from stain glass windows.

...and the party after their vows? One for the books!

There were chandeliers hanging in the reception tent and a handmade, custom dance floor to host the party. They had a live band to rock out to all evening, and guests made s'mores right outside their reception tent around bonfires. Even the bar was built by hand for the wedding by Heather's family! Matthew, a real firework enthusiast, put on a gorgeous fireworks show to end the night. All-in-all Heather and Matthew's day was just plain flawless. Every little handmade detail complimented their backyard wedding and love perfectly, and this day is going to go down as one of my favorite wedding days yet.

Some Words of Wisdom from the Couple

Heather: You can never be too organized. If you are doing a homemade wedding, planning is crucial! You don’t want to be doing a lot of crafty things last minute. If one more person told me I have plenty of time to worry about that or you can do that later before the wedding I was going to scream! You want to enjoy the weeks before the wedding and not be stressed out! So anything you can do ahead of time...knock it out! Prioritize what is important to you and knock those things out...if you have leftover wants...OH well at least you got the most important ones off your list of To Do’s and honestly, no one will ever know if something wasn’t done!

Heather & Matthew's Rockstar Vendors

Photographer: Jessica Hunt Photography
Heather's Gown: Mikaella Bridal
Invitation Designer: The Copy Shop
Caterer: Hamptons Restaurant & Bakery
Hair Stylist: The Venue Salon
Officiant: Pastor Tim Brown
Band: Virtually Unshockable
Bridesmaid Dresses: Weddington Way
Men's Apparel: C. Anthony's Menswear
Other Attire: J. Major's Bridal Boutique
Floral Designer: Bloomsbury Floral Designs

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Liz & Andrew’s Enchanted Forest Wedding in an Airplane Hangar

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Bridechilla graduate, Liz, shares her and Andrew's enchanted forest inspired wedding at the Philadelphia Glider Council in Perkasie, PA.

Tell us a little about you and your partner!

Liz: For a decidedly non-stereotypical couple, we met in the most stereotypical of ways: at a mutual best friend's wedding. Andrew proposed after about 7 years of dating in Wales at the top of Mount Snowdon. I  studied abroad in Wales in 2009 so it's a place that is so very dear to my heart.

Tell us all about your event!

We got married at a private club/gliderport inside an aircraft hangar that my now-husband has been flying at since he was just 12. Priorities for the day were always to just throw a really good party that felt like us for our loved ones. Food is my favorite thing and my TOP priority was a delicious meal, so we hired the food truck (Local 215) first, and the photographer second as my husband is very particular about photography. My favorite part of the day was the ceremony (followed by the meal as a very close second) and I didn't think it would be! My husband really wanted to write our own vows, so we did, and had his friend officiate using a ceremony that we also wrote and it was just lovely. I also really loved our processional and recessional songs, Neville's Waltz from Harry Potter for the wedding party, Concerning Hobbits from Lord of the Rings for me, and we all walked out to the Cantina Band from Star Wars! I also splurged a bit on ice cream from a local place called Little Baby's. The flavors were chocolate salt malt, sour cherry honey, vanilla caramel cardamom, and sweet potato burnt marshmallow. I also spent months folding over 200 paper airplanes out of book pages for decor!

What was totally worth it?

EVERYTHING. More specifically, things I was on the fence about like a semi-fancy bathroom trailer, cocktail hour, ice cream, uplighting rentals (for $17 per light from DIY Uplighting!) etc. Even the paper airplanes I folded were a HUGE hit. I know you hear that people won't really notice the details, but I got more compliments than I can count on the details I wound up including. 

What was not worth it?

I worried a little too much leading up to the event about how people were going to behave as my family history is super complicated. But everything went perfectly, everyone was on their best behavior, and I gave myself not a few gray hairs for no reason.

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?

Liquor - we just had beer and wine, bartenders, fancy tables and chairs, china, silverware - I used high-end disposables that worked perfectly, real glasses - no one cared AT ALL, having the flower girl or ring-bearer carry anything, hairdresser, traditional caterer, a hell of a lot of signage (welcome sign, escort card sign, bathroom sign), bouquet toss and any and all wedding "games", formal entrance to the reception, formal photos during cocktail hour, ceremony readings, SO MUCH STUFF.

What advice do you have for other couples planning their weddings?

You cannot avoid everyone else's opinion (and OH GOD will you get so. many. opinions) but stick to your guns, follow your vision, and your day will be all you hoped for and more. Along those same lines, if you don't want something (for me a bathroom trailer felt unnecessary) but someone else offers to pay for it, and it doesn't negatively impact your vision for the day, LET THEM BUY IT. It's not worth the aggravation of arguing, and in the end it might wind up being the better decision. It's very hard to accept that you MIGHT not be right after all the thought and effort and planning you put into your day, but sometimes you MIGHT NOT BE RIGHT. <3

Liz & Andrew's Rockstar Vendors

Photographer: Shannon Collins Photography 
​Venue: Philadelphia Glider Council
Florals: Vault & Vine Events
Coordination:  KMT Event Group
Makeup: Maebee's Beauty Studio
Hair: Alison Scott Hair
Cake: The Frosted Fox Cake Shop
Catering: Local 215 Food Truck
Ice Cream: Little Baby's Ice Cream
DJ:  Soundscape Entertainment
Lighting: DIY Uplighting
Liz's Gown:  Maggie Stewart-Fritz

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