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wedding planning

30 Days Of Wedding PlanningBridechilla Podcast

384- The Wedding Planning Time Machine

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

If you could travel back in time, what would you do differently? What decisions would you change? This purely philosophical question has been asked countless times. While it isn’t possible to return to your earlier self, it could be helpful to think through what you would do differently so that you can pass along that wisdom to others. On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, we are hopping into a proverbial wedding planning time machine to talk about what we would do differently. If you are in the early stages of planning your wedding, be sure to listen so that you can learn from those who’ve gone before you,  avoiding mistakes and making great choices.

Listen to episode 384 of Bridechilla

One word of wedding planning advice

During this episode, Aleisha shares a lot of feedback that she received from the Bridechilla community when she asked “what advice would you give your newly engaged self knowing what you now know.” There were many responses both positive and negative. One popular response was summed up in just one word: elope. While you may not want to take such a drastic step, there are a lot of great destination and other eloping options that you might consider if you don’t want to plan a more traditional wedding. However, if you are still planning your wedding, then be sure to heed the advice on this show.

Decide why you are getting married and then decide how you want to celebrate those reasons

Sit back and enjoy the ride

Almost as soon as the engagement ring is slipped on the bride-to-be’s finger, everybody wants to know the wedding plans. What’s the date? Where’s the venue going to be? Will I be in the wedding? There are so many questions and so much pressure to answer them. One great piece of advice on this episode is to just slow down. You don’t have to know every single detail within the first month. Trying to do everything so fast just increases the stress and decreases the enjoyment. Instead, relax and just enjoy being engaged and take some time before you jump headlong into the craziness of wedding planning. 

Photo by Alora Griffiths 

It is important to get on the same page with money and also do a little presaving.

Wedding planning money tips

Weddings can cost a lot of money. How do you budget for the wedding you want? And then how do you save enough money to cover all of that expense? If marriage is in your future, or if you are in the midst of wedding planning now, setting aside money for the wedding is crucial. Several Bridechillas mentioned they wish they would’ve saved more. One even encouraged opening a special savings account just for the wedding. Don’t strap yourself with a load of debt fresh into your marriage. Save up the money you need for the wedding you want. 

Photo by chuttersnap

Don’t let drama drag you down i.e. the one bridesmaid who complains about everything and doesn’t give in to people who pressure you for an invite and doesn’t feel bad that you can’t invite everyone.

How to have a regret-free wedding

Being engaged seems to empower those around you to have strong opinions about your wedding. While most are well-intended, it can get overwhelming trying to listen and be polite. Or worse, you could feel obligated to implement their ideas in your wedding. Listen to the voice of Bridechillas who have gone before you, warning you to avoid the trap of allowing others to delude your vision. You deserve the wedding you want, not the wedding others want for you. Have the courage to stand up for yourself so that you won’t have any regrets on your wedding day.

I think we have to release some of the burden that we feel when it comes to keeping parents happy and the obligation that’s attached.

Photo by Miguel Ángel Hernández 

Show Highlights

  • [0:34] Aleisha introduces the podcast, which poses the question: “if you could go back in time, what advice would you give your newly engaged self knowing what you now know.” The wedding planning time machine.

  • [4:56] Some of the Bridechilla responses were only one word – “elope”. 

  • [6:39] Bridechilla Kelsie suggests enjoying being engaged before you jump into the drama and stress of wedding planning.

  • [10:11] Decide why you are getting married and then decide how you want to celebrate that in the most meaningful way to you. 

  • [11:03] How to choose your bridesmaids wisely without giving into the feeling of obligation

  • [12:46] Bridechilla Renee advises to save money before choosing and booking the wedding venue

  • [13:44] Should you open a separate account designated for saving for the wedding

  • [19:29] Rather than have a large event, have a small wedding and then a cookout or barbeque with friends

  • [20:21] Bridechilla Kathleen regrets not hiring a day-of wedding planner

  • [21:57] You don’t have to make the big decisions in the first month. Relax and take your time.

  • [23:08] Erika would have strongly considered elopement to avoid the conflict in planning with her parents. 

  • [26:26] Bridechilla Ashley wants to just ignore others opinions and just be herself. 

  • [27:08] Let people help you more when they offer and stay more firm on the ideas you want for you wedding. 

  • [30:32] Spend money sooner so you don’t have to spend everything close to the day of the wedding.  

  • [33:09] Slow down and just enjoy yourself

Listen to episode 384 of Bridechilla

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Subscribe to Bridechilla Podcast

Show image by  Almos Bechtold 

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383-Planning a Wedding Like an Entrepreneur with Danielle Tate

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, guest Danielle Tate, founder of MissNowMrs.com and author of “Elegant Entrepreneur” joins the show to talk about planning a wedding like an entrepreneur. The are so many practices and principles of starting and running a business that can be applied to the wedding planning process. In order to run a successful company, you have to manage people, stay within a budget, and consider the logistics of daily operations and special events. These same factors apply to a wedding. During this conversation, Danielle discusses the lessons she learned while starting and growing her business and how they can be applied to planning a wedding and beginning a successful marriage. 

Listen to episode 383 of Bridechilla

Your team is incredibly important if you want a good end product in a business, and the same goes for weddings as well.

How to assemble your wedding planning team 

A good business owner and manager knows how to delegate. There are too many demands for one person to handle. Assembling the right team of people and then giving them clearly defined roles leads to synergy and success. The same is true when planning a wedding. There are too many details to be handled by one person. Whether it be a tried and true vendor or a trustworthy friend or family member, finding the right team members to help you plan and execute the tasks for the wedding is critical. Danielle discusses how to give ownership of the wedding plans and projects to the people around. The key is not to be afraid to ask. People are often more ready and willing to help than you might think. 

Photo by Adrien King 

Finding opportunity in the midst of obstacles

With an event as large and elaborate as weddings can often be, there are bound to be things that will go wrong. A vendor might mess up an order or the venue might double book. In life, business, and in wedding planning, problems happen. While you can’t control what might or might not go wrong, you can control how you deal with those problems. Danielle suggests that you begin looking at obstacles as opportunities. While not always easy, staying positive and proactive in the midst of an unexpected issue can turn what was a problem into an opportunity for an unforgettable moment. 

Don’t fall in love with your wedding concept before holding that idea accountable.

Planning a sustainable marriage

So much focus and attention goes into planning a wedding day. However, how much preparation are you doing with your partner for what comes after the wedding. The wedding lasts for a day, but a marriage lasts much longer. Working together to plan the wedding can help you and your spouse-to-be develop teamwork and partnership that you can carry into the marriage. Invest in time and habits that will help your marriage be sustainable. Danielle talks about ways to think about the sustainability before the marriage starts during this podcast. 

Nurture the relationship and plan the relationship almost as much as you plan the wedding

It’s Your Wedding

There are countless business books that claim to have the secrets for how entrepreneurs can be successful. However, every business owner and company are different. There isn’t one right way. The same is true in wedding planning. As you plan your wedding, you’ll be talking with a lot of different people. Vendors, friends, family members, and even co-workers will give their input and advice about your wedding. While it’s fine to listen and take advice from others, it is more important to stay true to what you want. Danielle says, “Plan the wedding you want, not the wedding everyone else wants for you.“ Hear more of her advice as well as stories of her experience working to help brides with changing their name on this episode of the bridechilla podcast. 

In weddings, something always goes wrong and how you choose to handle it is going to dictate how your day goes.

Photo by JESHOOTS.COM 

Listen to the episode

Show Highlights

  • [0:31] Danielle Tate, founder of MissNowMrs.com, joins the show to talk about how she turned her frustration with changing her name into a business

  • [6:15] As an accidental entrepreneur, Danielle learned a lot that she has included in her book Elegant Entrepreneur.  

  • [8:34] How to realistically plan your wedding, avoiding the trap of falling in love with an idea you can’t afford

  • [10:10] When planning a wedding, you need to build a team of people that can help you. How do you recruit the right team?  

  • [19:04] Danielle discusses how failures can be an opportunity in disguise. 

  • [21:34] Using the wedding and the days afterward to set your marriage up to sustain for a long time. 

  • [25:50] Aleisha and Danielle discuss how to plan the wedding you want, not the wedding everyone else wants for you.

  • [30:17] Danielle shares some of the funny stories that she’s come across while running MissNowMrs.

Meet This Episode’s Guest

Danielle Tate is the founder of MissNowMrs and Author of the book “Elegant Entrepreneur.” After experiencing firsthand the laborious and difficult process of changing her name after getting married, Danielle decided that there had to be a better way. She created a website that makes the name changing process a breeze. She wrote “Elegant Entrepreneur” to help women start and scale their businesses. On this episode she lends her combines her knowledge of wedding planning and entrepreneurship to give some great advice on planning the wedding you’ve always wanted.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Subscribe to Bridechilla Podcast

Show image by Christin Hume 

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Bridechilla BlogGuest Post

7 Most common things to go wrong at weddings and how to fix them

by Bibi Raven
written by Bibi Raven

Wedding.
Dreading.
Stressing.
Coincidence that all these words rhyme (sorta)? I think not.

Thought it’s one of the most magical days of your life, the possibility of things going terribly wrong on your blessed day is simply mind-boggling. The DJ doesn’t rock up. The priest gets lost. The food makes every guest violently ill. It’s enough to call the whole thing off and just elope.

While you can’t control absolutely everything on your wedding day, there are some commonly encountered wedding mishaps that can be avoided. Or better yet, prevented.

Here are seven of the most common things to go wrong at weddings, and how you can fix them before they turn the best day of your life into one of the worst days of your life.

It Starts To Rain. Then Pour.

It’s the biggest fear of all brides - having an outdoor wedding and it starts to rain.

While you can’t fix this so-called problem from Mother Nature, you can certainly try to prepare. In the days leading up to your wedding day, check the weather predictions religiously. Clothing retailer Monsoon has released an ingenious wedding weather calculator. It uses Met Office rainfall data to analyse 86 years’ worth of statistics to show which days have historically been the driest and which days have been a total washout.

Even if there isn’t an indication that it’s going to rain, I’d still recommend having a Plan B. This can be as simple as having enough emergency umbrellas for your guests to hiring a back-up marquee tent.

Another way to remedy rain-induced wedding stress? Chain your mindset! Rain on your wedding day is said to be good luck. In many cultures, rain symbolizes fertility, unity and a fresh start.

As the saying goes, you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain.

The In Laws Don’t Get Along

One of the greatest joys of a wedding is the coming together of two families. Becoming Mr and Mrs (or Mr and Mr, Mrs and Mrs, etc) doesn’t just mean the start of your own family with the love of your life. It means both sides of the family coming together to be one.

Easier said than done.

When your parents and your future in-laws fight like Montagues and Capulets, it could be a recipe for disaster on the days leading up to your wedding and your actual wedding day.

Your mother wants you to wear her understated retro wedding dress. Your mother-in-law is pushing for a fancy, massive meringue wedding dress. Your father suggests a quiet get together on your parent’s country townhouse. Your father-in-law offers to pay for the Ritz.

It’s enough to do your head in.

So, what to do? The answer - don’t force it. You’re just giving yourself unnecessary stress on your special day.

To avoid any deadly situations, place them at separate tables. This might not be conventional, but it’s better than having a full-blown public argument at your wedding. To be frank, let them avoid each other the whole day if it means making the wedding run smoothly. Possibly the only point at which they have to be within 2 feet of each other and force a smile is for the photos.  

Another top tip - make sure they have enough booze. Lots and lots of booze. Hopefully, that’ll loosen them up and have them crying in each other’s arms at how happy they are their beloved children found each other.  

You Get Sh*t Wedding Gifts

Weddings are for gifts. Oh and for love and romance and all that jazz. But mainly for gifts.
Just kidding.Obviously, they’re not the sole focus of your big day, but they are a major added bonus of getting married. Unless you get totally bogus gifts.

To avoid such a catastrophe, make it clear to your guests what sort of gifts you and your partner want. This can be included on the invitation, or a friendly e-mail reminder leading up to the wedding.

Are you looking for traditional gifts such as silverware and appliances? Or maybe you’re the couple who’d prefer an extraordinary wedding gift experience. Or even plain hard cash.

Make it known what you’d prefer. There’s no shame. Plus, it’ll help your guests find the perfect gift for you!

You Get Sloppy Jallopy Wasted

Ah, alcohol. A friend and foe. A froend, if you will.

Alcohol can be a great way to relax the nerves. Getting ready with your bridesmaids is often the most nerve-wracking time of the whole day. That’s why free-flowing bubbly is a prerequisite.

But it’s all fun and games until you’re too smashed to put on your wedding dress.

Feel free to indulge in a few glasses of champagne with your girlfriends, but don’t take it too far. You’ve still got a long night ahead of you.

The reception is the part of the wedding where the booze is at its best. Don’t let guests pressure you into taking your 17th shot of tequila. If worst comes to worst, pull the ol’ trick of carrying and refilling a shot of water.

Your Groom Gets Sloppy Jallopy Wasted

Here’s another recipe for disaster - your hubby gets totally trashed before he’s even made it to the chapel.
Not cool.
To avoid such a catastrophe, ask one of the groomsmen to keep an eye on him. Choose a groomsman that you’re personally close with and make your expectations clear - I want to marry a sober man.

They’ll be bound to get a little rowdy as they’re all getting ready together, drinking whiskey and smoking cigars, but it doesn’t have to get to an out-of-control level.

You Have a Wardrobe Malfunction

Picture this - you’re walking down the aisle. The bells are chiming. The rose petals from the flower girl’s hands are falling gracefully to the floor. Everyone rises as you make your grand entrance. Your husband looks at your with tears in his eyes. You take a step. And another. And on the next one, you step on your dress and the entire bottom half of your dress comes apart.

Every bride’s nightmare.

To avoid such an awful situation, always have a sewing kit on hand. Better yet, have an Oh Sh*t Kit. It’s a wedding emergency pack filled with helpful items, from double-sided tape and safety pins to body lotion and a hairbrush.

Someone Brings Their Annoying Brat (After You Asked Them Not To)

To children or not to children? That is the question.

Allowing children to attend a wedding is one of the greatest debates in wedding history. On the one hand, they’re cute as buttons. They give your wedding a sense of energy and youthfulness that can really put everyone at ease.

But on the other hand, they can be a total nuisance- crying, throwing a tantrum and preventing their mum and dad, your guests, from having fun.

It doesn’t matter what anyone else says - the decision is yours. Some couples make the call to allow the kids at the ceremony and not at the reception. Remember, it’s your wedding and you call the shots.

If you do decide to allow the rugrats to enjoy the whole event, a good idea would be to have a separate room with an au pair. Here they can run around, have fun and be safe. And they can sleep soundly when their little bodies get tired from all the wedding fun.

I hope these fixes made you feel more chill while planning that big day. You got this.

Header photo by boram kim 

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Bridechilla BlogGuest Post

A Guide to DIY wedding florals

by Danielle Gonzalez
written by Danielle Gonzalez

Your wedding is your day—whether it’s a full design or small, memorable details, incorporating some DIY touches is a surefire way to create an unforgettable day that is unique to you and your other half. Believe it or not, a DIY wedding doesn’t have to be overwhelming. With a well thought out plan and the right tools, you can successfully navigate your wedding planning process as a relaxed bride, while still saving some pennies through your DIY projects.

Use these tips to harness your creative chill vibes while designing your dream wedding.

Image by Blythely Photographing 

First off: Why DIY

When you purchase a bouquet from a florist, remember that it’s not just priced for the flowers. You are also paying for the expertise spent on professional arrangement, as well as all of the other expenses that come with running a floral business: preparation, storage, labor, production, supplies, and transportation. Couples can easily spend upwards of $2,000 on flowers alone, and you can cut that cost by more than half by ordering DIY flowers and creating your own arrangements. If you feel up to the task, purchasing in bulk is the best way to save on DIY arrangements, as you can purchase them at a discounted rate and have them sent directly to your home.

Save money smartly

You can save even more money by being smart about your arrangements. Simple things like scaling down the size of bridesmaid bouquets or sticking to seasonal flowers are a great way to trim down your budget for your DIY project. Worry less about flower type and focus on colors—that way you can supplement a few bold statement pieces with budget-friendly blooms. Greenery is also a cost-effective choice that looks gorgeous woven into a wedding design.

Image by Chelsie Burkhart Photography

Plan your DIY wedding projects strategically

Planning is important for DIY projects as a whole, but it’s a must for DIY floral arrangements. Collect photos for inspiration, find out what you’ll need to achieve the look you’re after, and figure out whether those flowers will be in season for your wedding date. Always have some alternatives ready at hand in case a certain bloom is unavailable. Flowers are living things and can be unpredictable, so it’s always best to have a plan B. Try doing a test run, if possible, so you can estimate how many flowers you’ll need and which colors you’d prefer.

Don’t take on too much

Maybe you’re not equipped to take on all of the DIY design—that’s fine! You can still save by doing what you can and outsourcing the more important details. For example, you can still make all of your bridesmaid bouquets and boutonnieres, and have a professional create your bouquet and centerpieces. The choice is yours!

Images by Lauren Westra Photography

Embrace the uniqueness

Remember: You’re not striving for perfection, you’re crafting a day that belongs to you and your partner. No wedding is perfect, anyways! Rather than stress over every detail, enjoy the creative process and have fun infusing your day with an inside joke here and a nod to your relationship there. When it comes to floral design, understand that flowers are natural—they will always have variations in colors and sizes, so be prepared to create a one-of-a-kind bouquet!

In addition to the savings and personalization, an added bonus of a DIY project is the feeling of pride you’ll feel on your wedding day as you see all of the beauty unfold around you. Stay chill, tap into your creative juices, and have fun with it!

Danielle Gonzalez is the Marketing and Social Media Specialist of Blooms by The Box, an online wholesaler for premium-quality flowers, floral design supplies, and accessories. They are a popular favorite for couples to purchase flowers to DIY themselves.

Header Photo by Fernanda Méndez 

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Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

362- The Serious Side of Wedding Planning Q&A with Aleisha

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Planning a wedding can seem like a trivial affair. After all, you are just planning a big party. However, because it involves the people you love and the history that accompanies many of those relationships, the wedding is anything but trivial. The Bridechilla podcast is dedicated to dealing with the real issues that come with planning a wedding and just being a human being. In this episode, Aleisha talks about the serious side of wedding planning by answering questions that come directly from the Bridechilla Community. Listen as she shares tips and advice for how to address common and often difficult experience that arise when planning a wedding.

Listen to episode 362 of Bridechilla

Handling hurtful family members

When someone who loves you finds out you are getting married, it is quite natural for them to want to be a part. But what if that person has destructive issues in their own life that could jeopardize the joy you experience during your wedding? Or what if they have caused you harm in the past in such a way that you want exclude them from the event? The most important thing is that you plan a day that you will fully enjoy. Chelsea is concerned with having her mom around during the wedding and asks for advice on how to limit her influence on this special day.

Listen to Aleisha’s advice and hear her explain what she calls production management.

“We’ve all got someone in our lives that lets people down and you want to fix them, but you can’t.”

Is a wedding really that big of a deal?

Kate from D.C. is excited to be getting married, but doesn’t understand why everyone else makes such a big deal out of this one event, when she has accomplished many other great things in her life. She feels like those achievements are being overshadowed. Aleisha reminds the Bridechilla community that while some people allow the wedding to be all encompassing, other people desire to hold their wedding in balance with all the other important obligations in life. How you approach the wedding doesn’t lessen the importance of the day.

Photo by Marius Muresan 

How to include your child in the wedding

How do you incorporate children into the wedding? This is the question that Katie wanted Aleisha to address. If you or your partner has kids, you will likely want to include them in the ceremony. Aleisha encourages couples to make sure you have a game plan. Because rehearsals and weddings can often be lengthy and involve a lot of standing around, it is important to consider what you will do with the child. Aleisha also discusses important considerations for planning a wedding if you are pregnant.

“If you are planning to involve the kids in the wedding, I think it is just sensible, as I’m sure you would, to have a bit of a game plan.” 

Photo by Sweet Ice Cream Photography

What to do when everyone has an opinion

Whenever you have a big event that involves family and friends, it is likely that people will try to start giving you advice. Often, opinions are given even though they are unsolicited. If they truly love you, they have your best interest in mind and are really just trying to be helpful. But we all know that a multitude of conflicting opinions can be anything but helpful. How do you deal with this awkward situation? As always, Aleisha is a proponent for bold, honest conversations and this episode is no different. Listen as she gives advice about the serious side of wedding planning during this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

Listen to episode 362 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

  • [0:38] This episode is another question and answer session with host Aleisha. She addresses questions submitted from the Bridechilla community.

  • [1:19] Morgan tells her story about how the Bridechilla podcast helped her handle the issue of wedding money with her dad.

  • [4:09] Chelsea asks for advice about how to deal with her Mom who has a substance abuse issue.

  • [11:49] Kate from D.C. left a voicemail explains how she feels uncomfortable with the attention the wedding is bringing and how it overshadows her life’s accomplishments and wants advice on how to deal with that.

  • [21:17] Katie asks if there are any podcasts addressing how to handle a wedding when you and your partner have kids?

  • [24:53] Bridechilla Kelly wants to involve her stepdad in the ceremony and how to approach that with her dad.

  • [26:55] Kelly also wants to know how to tell her future-spouses family to keep their opinions to themselves.

  • [29:48] Kelly adds a P.S. about how to find great makeup and hair artists.

Thanks to our Bridechilla Partners- ZOLA

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Bridechilla BlogGuest Post

What happens to Weddings When women Stop Saying Yes?

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

On episode 356 of the Bridechilla Podcast I was joined by Honey Dew founder's Michelle and Lucy. In this blog they continue the conversation of finding balance when wedding planning and work (and life in general!).
We work on weddings every single day. As founders of a startup that wants to do all the grunt work of wedding planning, this makes sense. After talking to hundreds of couples, we realized with great horror that those that are wedding planning are working on their wedding every single day too. With full time jobs.

Listen to episode 356 Of Bridechilla

The wedding industry just assumes couples will say yes

Hey, I can’t give you the price of the venue over email — can you call me at 3pm?

Hey, could you tell me your budget before I tell you how much these flowers will cost?

Hey, we can’t give you a quote for how much our catering package costs, because it differs for each couple. Will you set up an appointment to discuss more?

These are questions that the wedding industry assumes couples will say yes to. And honestly, the assumption is valid — couples don’t have the expertise or option to say no, because the next wedding vendor will request the same. The industry doesn’t care if both people have a full time job, don’t have time at work to slip away for a vendor phone call, and don’t have an exact itemized list of what flowers or entrees they want. Somehow, in this $70 billion industry where couples spend on average $35,000 on a wedding, they are at the mercy of the wedding vendors who won’t pick up the phone or post prices on their website.

Photo by Edward Cisneros

Without information transparency, couples can’t say no

The Internet allows price comparisons between a pillow on Amazon.com and a pillow on Walmart.com. Uber tells me my trip will cost $11.80 so I can decide to ride Lyft to my music class instead. Now: imagine if you had to email Uber for a price before booking your ride. Imagine if you had to call Amazon about their memory foam pillow to ask whether it was in stock. It’s laughable, right?

Yet, lack of information transparency, especially around price and availability, is the single biggest driver of time wasted and stress when wedding planning. No wedding solution today actually solves this because their revenue comes from wedding vendors (sponsored ads and memberships). Wedding vendors get fewer leads when their prices are readily available online. This makes them less happy.

Who’s championing for the couples’ happiness, then?

The email inbox of a couple caught up in wedding planning

What happens when couples stop saying yes?

One night, we were fuming about the numerous mediocre wedding vendor websites out there, and we had a Eureka moment. What if we systematically retrieved vendor information, and made it transparent? What if couples stopped the hours of research and correspondence they were doing and let us call and email wedding vendors for them? What if we became the buffer between the wedding vendors and the couple, so that couples could STOP reading through 17 page wedding packets for each vendor they talked to, and just…let us screen vendors for them?

What if we did it online, low-touch, and didn’t charge them $10,000 (like a wedding planner) for it?

We grew confident that once couples got a taste of this freedom and control, they’d come to demand it as a baseline, table stakes experience from every wedding company.

We decided to start Honeydew.

Photo by Alvin Mahmudov

Honeydew is the personal assistant and personal champion for your wedding

Imagine a human powered search engine that personalizes exactly to your preferences and constraints and presents you vetted options with decision-critical information. Ok maybe that’s hard to imagine.

Instead, imagine clicking a button and instantaneously feeling confident enough to book a wedding vendor. Imagine your whole wedding planned like this.

Now try us out! We’re live, and we’d love to talk to you!

Show image by Sarah Diniz Outeiro

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Bridechilla Blog

Top Tips for Keeping the Chill in Bridechilla When you First Get Engaged

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Top Tips for Keeping the 'Chill' in Bridechilla
When you First Get Engaged

It doesn’t take a mind reader to know what thoughts are running through a newly-engaged person’s head. What’s the perfect Instagram announcement? Can I pull off my dream Pinterest wedding board? Will my wedding pictures go viral and make Meghan Markle swoon with jealousy? Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. Meghan Ely from OFD Consulting and her team of wedding industry experts chime in on what you might be overlooking in the early stages.

Photo by Kyle Loftus

Enjoy being engaged for as long as you can

The first few weeks (or days, if you’re a planning fiend) after you get engaged are perhaps the best, and they should be cherished! Mary Angelini and Jamie Albury of Key Moment Films say, “It’s easy to get swept into a planning frenzy after getting engaged. Family members may immediately start asking you questions about dates, but take at least a few weeks to enjoy engagement bliss with your fiancée without any of the pressures of planning.”

Jamie Chang of Passport to Joy adds, “Take a trip for some alone time or at the very least a few days to be together without family or friends (or social media) asking questions.”

Photo by Savs

Take initial wedding planning slow

One of the first instincts of any Bridechilla is to snowball your engagement into a full-on planning process within hours of getting engaged. While those thoughts are totally normal, outline the most important to get you through the initial month first.

Shannon Tarrant of Wedding Venue Map says that this can be as simple as planning out what you’ll say to all of the questions you’ll surely get. “Have a standard answer to the planning questions so it won't aggravate you! ‘Do you have a date? What kind of dress are you looking for?’ Know that those questions are coming, so be prepared with how you want to answer them. A great example is ‘I'm enjoying being engaged and haven't started the planning yet!’ That is a great way to shut them down but still be positive if you’re not quite there yet.”

Start Planning with the Bridechilla Guides

Take baby steps making planning decisions

If you’re antsy to get the ball rolling in true Bridechilla fashion, we promise it’s absolutely okay to start putting feelers out. Tommy Waters, event planner and owner of The Renaissance says, “Typically, the heaviest decision will be your ceremony and/or reception sites. Start making a list of your favorites and reach out to get some information, availability, and prices.

A ‘need’ and ‘want’ list will be your friend at this stage in the game. 

For example, some pretty common ‘needs’ are vendors like photographers, a DJ (or band), florist, and baker. If you’re the type to want a horse-driven carriage or a few ice sculptures, I always suggest putting these items on your ‘want’ list.”

Waters adds that communication is key, and nothing has to be made official just yet. “Start engaging with some planners and get a feel for who will work well with you. Be savvy - some hotels and reception venues have planners already included so you could save some major dollars there by getting ahead of the game.”

At the end of the day, you know better than anyone when it comes to the pace of planning and setting your priorities straight. Don’t worry so much about outside input or what the ‘norm’ is for timelines. Take as little time or as long as you feel comfortable with, and remember the reason for your big day!

Meghan Ely Bridechilla

Meet Meghan

Meghan Ely is the owner of wedding PR and wedding marketing firm OFD Consulting.

Ely is a sought-after speaker, adjunct professor in the field of public relations, and a self-professed royal wedding enthusiast.

Show image by Sarah Diniz Outeiro

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352- Big Wedding, Small Budget- Bridechilla Claire

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

This episode of Bridechilla is full of some great wedding ideas on a budget. What is the appropriate amount of money to spend on a wedding? How can you have the wedding of your dreams without going completely bankrupt? The good news is, you don’t have to break the bank to have a fantastic wedding. But you do have to make a plan and stick to it. On today’s Bridechilla podcast, you’ll hear from Bridechilla Claire who planned a wedding for 400 people for only $15,000. She shares some tips and tricks for saving money and offers encouragement for how you can have a great wedding even on a limited budget.

Listen to episode 352 of Bridechilla

Sticker shock is a huge thing. I know a lot of us start wedding planning and have a complete meltdown when you realize how much stuff actually costs or how much people are willing to pay for things.

How big of a budget do you need for your wedding?

There is no universal budget for a wedding. The cost often depends on the location in which you live and the individual circumstances related to your wedding. So how do you go about setting a budget. And how can you avoid the dreaded sticker shock of planning a wedding? Having a budget doesn’t mean your cheap. It just means you are choosing to focus on what is most important to you. Your budget should be guided by your priorities. Once you’ve established what is non negotiable, then you can determine how to best allocate your money. Hear more tips for how to sidestep sticker shock on this week’s podcast.

Photo by Sladjana Karvounis

Decide what matters most

Bridechilla Claire is an inspiration. She reminds us that you don’t have to spend tons of money to have a great time planning your wedding. The key is to be flexible and creative. Claire and her fiance decided that one non negotiable for them was the people. Having 400 guests is no small party. But rather than sacrifice and have to cut the guest list, they decided to compromise on other details that weren’t as important to them. There are so many details that seem important, but the go virtually unnoticed by most people who come to the wedding. Skip those details and focus on what really matters. Listen as Claire share more wedding ideas on a budget during this episode.

It’s time to be a satisficer

Claire warns against the dangers of trying to maximize every decision. There are going to be some plans that fall through. There are also going to be some things that you want that you may have to cut in order to stay on budget. If your priorities are already set, then you’ll be able to handle those kinds of situations in stride. Claire also introduces a term in this episode that is helpful when making the many decisions that come with planning a wedding. She encourages others to be a satisficer. Listen to this episode to hear exactly what that means and how you can become one.

Photo by Jazmin Quaynor

Cute and creative wedding ideas on a budget

Weddings are all about the people and the place. The greatest cost will be feeding the people and providing the place for all of them to gather. It might be helpful to consider function over form when it comes to the wedding venue. You don’t have to rent the most expensive venue in order to accommodate your guests. Find a budget friendly venue and use your creativity to make it more appealing. There are also creative ways to provide food for the wedding. Claire shares how a Costco membership made a huge difference in the way she is going to feed her guest. Listen to this episode of the Bridechilla podcast for more cute and creative wedding ideas on a budget.

Photo by rawpixel 

Listen to episode 352 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

  • [2:21] This episode is a call back to a previous episode with Bridechilla episode related to wedding budget.

  • [6:29] Introduction of Bridechilla Claire, who organized a wedding for 400 people for only $15,000.

  • [10:51] The details of how Claire is pulling off planning her wedding with such a strict budget.

  • [12:15] Being flexible and creative, avoiding the trap of trying to maximize every decision by focusing on what is most important.  

  • [18:00] The biggest expenditures for a wedding are the people and the venue

  • [26:44] Claire talks about how investing in a Costco membership helped with essentials for the wedding

  • [28:18] Lean on your community to help with decorations and set up for the wedding

  • [32:50] Find a way to make things special and spend quality time with those closest to you.

Memorable Quotes

  • “Sticker shock is a huge thing. I know a lot of us start wedding planning and have a complete meltdown when you realize how much stuff actually costs or how much people are willing to pay for things.”

  • “You can have a fun, nice wedding and it not cost you a total arm and a leg.”

  • “Be a satisficer. Don’t try to maximize every decision.”

  • “Weddings are about people, places and things, according to kindergarten.”

  • “It’s all about flexibility and it’s all about saying no to the idea that we have to do things a certain way.“

Meet This Episode’s Guest

Bridechilla Claire left a voicemail explaining how she planned her wedding for 400 people and only spent $15,000. Throughout the episode she shares some of the tips and tricks that she’s discovered while planning her own wedding. From utilizing a free venue, to leveraging a Costco membership, Claire has a ton of great input for wedding ideas on a budget.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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An Intimate Whirlwind Italian Destination Wedding Adventure

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Lindsay and Ben take us on a journey through the stunning images from their intimate Italian destination wedding at La Tagliata in Positano, Italy.

Lindsay shares about this magical trip with their closest friends and family as well as the challenges of planning a wedding on the other side of the world when you don't speak the same language as your wedding vendors!

Tell us a little about you and your partner!

Lindsay: I know it's cliche to describe your significant other as your best friend, but from the moment we met almost 11 years ago, Ben and I were best friends. It wasn't a particularly unique meeting - mutual friends in college - but what happened from that moment on was one of those incredibly easy, storybook-without-all-the-problematic-nonsense kinds of love. And the proposal couldn't have been more representative of that; Ben had been on tour with his band in Japan, and I flew over to explore with him after his last show. We arranged to spend a night living among the monks at a buddhist monastery. When we arrived, we were graciously gifted with friendship bracelets that had been blessed to bring us happiness in our lives. The next day, sitting on the banks of a river surrounded by beautiful Japanese lanterns, Ben pulled his Buddhist friendship bracelet out of pocket, wrapped it around my finger, and asked me to be his best friend forever.

Tell us all about your event!

After working years as videographers in the wedding industry, we had seen it all. Our first priority was to find a way to do it that didn't feel like a day at the office. Considering our love of travel and incredible food, a destination wedding seemed like an obvious choice.

The process was intensive at first. We performed all the requisite steps - checking with the VIPs to make sure everyone is on board, signing up for every flight alert known to man, and going to 12 different dress appointments before giving up and buying my dream dress online, sight-unseen. I spent more hours Googling (in multiple languages!) than any human should ever have to.

Once we found La Tagliata, a family-run restaurant with private terraces overlooking the Amalfi coast, our dream wedding was pretty much set. It was easy take a step back and let everything else come together as it may. I told the bridal party to wear whatever they wanted, I never gave a thought to tablecloths or napkins or centerpieces, and I made a bouquet with flowers we found around the property we rented for our friends. The only thing that mattered to us was having an incredible adventure with our closest friends and family, and that's what we got!

I did DIY two projects that I absolutely love. First, I'm an amateur metalsmith and I specialize in fine jewelry, so it was an absolute joy to make our rings. After the original proposal in Japan, I came home and set to work on my engagement ring and wedding band. I'm excited to look down at it in 20 or 50 years, and be able to say, "Wow, I made that."

Second, I wanted to do something special and unique for my best friend, who had been so supportive throughout the planning process. In lieu of a traditional Maid of Honor gift, I hand painted matching leather jackets so we could be beautiful badasses everywhere we go together.

To be honest, the most special moment of the entire process was looking around the table at the end of the night, seeing so many people who love us enough to fly across the world to join us on our adventure, and seeing them all so joyful. That moment was worth everything.

What was totally worth it?

Honestly, everything. Every moment of research that brought us to our venue, every moment spent agonizing over making sure everyone I knew was getting the BEST deal on their flight possible, and every moment I spent worried about not being able to control every detail from the other side of the world was 1000% worth it. But if I have to choose ONE thing besides the destination itself, I'd say investing in a house big enough to spend the week with our closest friends. Not only do we have an entire week's worth of memories together that I'll cherish for a lifetime, but it alleviated some of the financial burden of travel on them - and that was so important to us. We specifically chose a venue that allowed us to afford this, and we're so glad we did. We were able to have our dream, without it being a huge burden to our loved ones. 

What was not worth it?

Sweating the details. You have to be willing to let some things go when you plan a destination wedding. I tried to focus entirely on the experience - if a detail directly impacted my guests' enjoyment, it was worth my attention. If not, whatever happens, happens. For instance, we decided to splurge on having a musician entertain guests throughout thelong meal, and it was a hit! Everyone loved dancing and clapping along, and trying out the traditional Italian instruments. But every moment I spent worrying about not having any decor (who wants to fly with luggage full of wedding decor?) was a moment wasted. It was beautiful. People were happy. Candles wouldn't have changed that!

What did you throw in the Fuck-It Bucket?

Our Fuck-It Bucket was full. The nature of a DIY destination wedding means that a lot of traditional aspects won't apply: lots of guests, lots of decor, and lots of control. We DIY'd the little things like hair and makeup. But the most important thing to put in the FIB was other people's expectations. This was OUR dream, and even those who didn't understand it eventually got on board and had an incredible time.

What advice do you have for other couples planning their weddings?

If you're considering a destination wedding, DO IT. I mean, have a series of very frank conversations with your must have guest list about timing and cost, make sure everyone is on board, and then DO IT. It takes research and the ability to let go of the little details, but the affordability and pay off can be incredible if you find the right vendors.

Lindsay & Ben's Rockstar Vendors

Photographer: Alyssa Lentz of A.Lentz Photography

Venue, Catering, Dessert, & Transportation: La Tagliata

AirBnB: Villa Deli

Rings: Dearest Darling Co

Lindsay's Gown: Watters from BHLDN

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Bridechilla Podcast

343- How to feel more comfortable in front of the camera

by Aleisha
written by Aleisha

Not everyone was born to be in front of the camera. But everyone can look like they were on their wedding day with the right photographer. On this episode of Bridechilla, I talk with Cavin Elizabeth', an international wedding film and digital photographer based in San Diego about how to feel more comfortable in front of the camera. During our conversation, Cavin gives tips on choosing the right photographer, how to pose, who should do your hair and makeup, and how to treat your photographer and other vendors right. 

Listen to Bridechilla episode 343

It all starts with a good relationship

Many brides and grooms don’t feel comfortable in front of the camera. Perhaps they feel like they don’t photograph well. It’s even harder when the camera is being used by someone you don’t know. Cavin Elizabeth says the foundation of success for a photo shoot it trust and relationship. She suggests using the same photographer for engagement photos and wedding photos. This will build trust and help you better understand how the photographer works. Trust puts the couple at ease and makes them look more natural which makes for fabulous photographs.  

Strike a Pose

Let’s be honest, posing for pictures can be really awkward. How should you stand? Where do you look? Where do you put your hands? But posing is important if you want great photographs. And we aren’t talking about those weird prom poses. The goal is to look natural and organic. Cavin says that from her experience, most couples need coaching and direction for how to pose. Choose a photographer who will guide you and help you look the best while you strike a pose.

Cavin-Elizabeth-Photography-

Being confident in your hair and makeup

Who is going to do your hair and makeup on your wedding day? Hiring a professional hair and makeup team can make a huge difference not only in your confidence but also in the way you photograph. However, not all hair and makeup artists are created equal, and photoshop can only correct so much. Cavin Elizabeth encourages brides to choose wisely when it comes to picking your hair and makeup artist.

Tips on Tipping

During our conversation, Cavin Elizabeth gives great advice on tipping. Often, couples fail to consider tipping their vendors at the wedding. However, in many cases it is both expected and appreciated. Cavin breaks down three categories of vendors based on their approach to tipping. She also encourages couples to allow the wedding planner to help hand out the tips so you don’t forget or have to be concerned about that while enjoying your wedding. Hear more tips and advice on how to make your wedding the best it can be on this episode of Bridechilla.

Show Highlights

  • [0:42] Introduction of Cavin Elizabeth, wedding photography from San Diego, CA.
  • [3:05] Cavin’s background and style of photography
  • [5:46] Lessons Cavin is learning while planning her own wedding
  • [10:16] Tips on how to feel more comfortable in front of the camera
  • [13:11] How Cavin works with people to help them feel confident with being photographed
  • [21:16] Posing is a fabulous when it looks organic and natural
  • [26:14] Finding a hair and makeup look that photographs well
  • [34:50] Cavin gives tips for tipping

Memorable Quotes

  • “Bride’s and groom, please respond back to the photographer.”
  • “The only people that have not photographed amazingly on the wedding day are people that just don’t smile, ever, and they look sad all day.”
  • “One of the foundations of success for getting a couple to feel comfortable in front of the camera is trust and getting to know the photographer.”
  • “Posing is not a dirty word. It’s actually a fabulous thing.”
  • “I refer people who are nice to me, nice to my clients and are good at what they do and have work that photographs beautifully.”

Meet This Episode’s Guest

Cavin Elizabeth is an international wedding film and digital photographer based in San Diego. She operates a boutique studio with a focus on personal connection that makes couples more at ease while being photographed for their special day. This gives Cavin’s picture a natural, authentic and romantic look. She also wrote a book entitled A Bride’s Guide to a Picture Perfect Wedding that teaches brides how to get the most out of their wedding photography and have magazine worthy images.

Show image by Cavin Elizabeth

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

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