Tag:

wedding Q&A

385- Wedding Photography Q&A with Cavin Elizabeth

by Aleisha August 12, 2019

written by Aleisha

Weeks, months or even years down the road, you will likely want to look back and remember the great memories made during your wedding. You’ll want to relive that special day and see the people and places that made your wedding so great. Which is why it is so important to have great pictures taken at your wedding. On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, Cavin Elizabeth, international wedding photographer and author of the book A Bride’s Guide to a Picture Perfect Wedding, joins the show for wedding photography Q&A. During this conversation, Cavin gives advice about how to plan for hair and makeup, the best time of day to have your wedding, and how to have the best possible experience with your wedding photographer.

Listen to episode 385 of Bridechilla

The first look and the best look

There are several options for when to take pictures at your wedding. The more traditional approach is to take pictures after the wedding so the couple doesn’t see each other beforehand. Increasingly more common is what is called the first look, where the couple has a private time before the ceremony to see each other and have some pictures taken. Whichever way you decide to do it, it is important that you have a plan in place for getting pictures taken in a way that doesn’t interfere with your ability to interact with your guests and enjoy the event. Cavin and Aleisha discuss some best practices for planning your photography during this wedding photography Q&A episode.

Always trust your photographer. If they are giving you advice on something in their experience, they are trying to keep your best interest at heart, even if it might not be what you want to hear

Dos and don'ts for working with a wedding photographer

Taking pictures can often be uncomfortable for people. Especially at a wedding, taking a lot of pictures may not always feel natural. How can you have the best possible experience with your photographer so that everyone feels comfortable and your pictures turn out beautiful. Cavin shares some advice for how to cultivate a great relationship with your photographer even before the wedding day. She also talks about some dos and don’ts that can help your wedding pictures turn out amazing.

How to get picture perfect hair and makeup

For brides, one of the biggest parts of the lead up to the wedding ceremony is hair and makeup. Hours before the event you have to have your hair professionally styled and your makeup applied by an expert. When it comes to pictures, what is the best practice for looking your best? Cavin explains that while the camera can do beautiful things, it can also do funny things, like diminish the look or amount of makeup you are wearing. She talks about the best approach to hair and makeup and how to find the right vendor that fits your style.

Beekeeper Inspired Wedding at Rancho Valencia 23

The bride and groom did not see each other before the ceremony because it was always an arranged marriage and they didn’t want to groom fleeing the scene at the sight of the bride.

Great lighting for great wedding pictures

Great photos depend on great lighting. How can you achieve great lighting when you are in a dimly lit venue or when you are outside? A good photographer will handle the lighting scenarios and will position the people in the picture appropriately to capture the best images. Cavin talks about the importance of picking the right time of day for an outdoor wedding, and even reveals the absolute best time to plan your wedding so you will have gorgeous photos. Hear all about that and much more on this wedding photography Q&A episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

Show Highlights

[0:29] Aleisha introduces this week’s guest, Cavin Elizabeth, international wedding film and photographer and author of A Bride’s Guide to a Picture Perfect Wedding
[3:25] Cavin and Aleisha talk about Cavin’s unique wedding dress
[6:28] Bridechilla Justine and her partner aren’t doing a “first-look”. How can they get all their photos done during cocktail hour without running into the reception.
[10:25] Cavin gives suggestions for how to speed up the post-wedding photography by getting other shots separately or at other times
[13:26] Why are groomchillas typically against the first look?
[15:37] Nicole wants to know some dos and don’ts about how to get the best possible wedding day photos
[26:06] Cavin talks about the importance of hair and makeup to have the best possible photos
[29:25] Aleisha shares her makeup experience working in the television industry
[32:22] There are different types of makeup artists - find one that fits your style
[36:21] Think about your timeline and when do have hair and makeup done when considering prep time for pictures
[37:11] Cavin discuss the importance of lighting and how the photographer will handle that
[42:32} How you can book Cavin to take your photographs

Montage Laguna Beach Wedding Inspiration 20

The harsh reality of stuff in weddings often is that everything is a give-and-take.

Listen to the episode

Meet This Episode’s Guest

Cavin Elizabeth is an international wedding film and digital photographer based in San Diego. She operates a boutique studio with a focus on personal connection that makes couples more at ease while being photographed for their special day. This gives Cavin’s picture a natural, authentic and romantic look. She also wrote a book entitled A Bride’s Guide to a Picture Perfect Wedding that teaches brides how to get the most out of their wedding photography and have magazine worthy images.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

All images by Cavin Elizabeth Photography

August 12, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

380- Wedding Planning Q&A with Aleisha

by Aleisha July 15, 2019

written by Aleisha

When you are in the middle of wedding planning, it’s easy to think you are the only one who struggles or has issues. The wedding industry likes to portray weddings as magical, perfect events. Here on the bridechilla podcast, we know that isn’t always the case. That’s why we have wedding planning question and answer episodes; so that you can hear from other Bridechillas who are struggling along the wedding planning journey and get some great advice on how to deal with specific problems. On this episode, you’ll hear questions about involving your parents and step parents in the wedding planning process, how to handle friends who are also wedding vendors, and how to be involved in the planning of your own bachelorette or hen party.

Listen to episode 380 Of The Bridechilla Podcast

Requesting wedding gifts, the right way

One perk of getting married is that people will give you gifts. Registries can help guide attendees in buying you the things you want and need. What do you do if there are differing gift traditions with you and your partner? How can you communicate both wishes to your wedding guests without seeming pretentious or ungrateful? There is a way to clearly and tactfully explain the best approach to gifts at your wedding. Aleisha explains how and stresses that the key is expressing gratitude. Hear about that and much more on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

A lot of the time people feel disconnected from the process or they feel left out or lonely about it all because they don’t know what’s going on.

3 Ways to Involve a long-distance parent in your wedding

When planning a wedding, a bride might find herself a long distance away from home. How do you get your parents involved in the planning process when they are in different states, countries, or time zones? Sometimes, all it takes is just keeping them updated with progress. Aleisha gives three specific ways to make a parent or close relative feel a part of the process even when they aren’t nearby. A little planning and some extra attention can help close the gap and ease the tension with parents who want to be involved but can’t because of distance.

Photo by Analise Benevides

How to involve your stepparent in the wedding

Bridechilla Kristen asks how she should involve her step dad in the wedding. Her parents will be walking her down the aisle, but she still wants to include her step dad. With a limited number of roles in most weddings, how do you include everyone who is important to you in the wedding? Aleisha recommends some unique ways to involve step parents or other relatives in the ceremony that will allow you to honor them and will allow them to be a meaningful part of your wedding.

Older people sometimes say ‘That is what we do and we are not going to change it just because they wrote it on a website.

Friends with wedding benefits...frendors

Some brides love the idea of having a bridesmaid or friend fix their hair, shoot their pictures, or cater their wedding. It can be a huge cost savings and can ensure that you have a trusting relationship with that person. However, hiring or using a friends gift or talent for your wedding might not always be desirable. It could cause unnecessary tension in the relationship. And you may want that friend to come and enjoy the wedding rather than work at it. How can you communicate your feelings and wishes to a friend who might be expecting to be asked to work your wedding? Aleisha gives tips for thoughtfully sharing with your friend so as to maintain the relationship and hire the vendor you want.

I believe you should always offer to pay people and allow them to say ‘no, no I’d love to gift you your wedding hair.

Photo by Fa Barboza

That is the worst thing you can do to anyone that is angry or feeling stressed or overwhelmed is to go ‘just calm down.’ That’s my trigger point of going ‘I’m going to punch you in the throat'. Don’t tell me to calm down.

Listen to episode 380 of the Bridechilla Podcast

Show Highlights

[0:26] Introduction of this week’s show and how Aleisha has been able to produce so many podcast episodes.
[1:15] Aleisha explains what wedstress is and how the bridechilla podcast is here to help alleviate your wedstress.
[3:59] Bridechilla Rosie asks What is the clear, tactful way of telling wedding guests that there are two ways to give wedding gifts when there are two different customs involved.
[7:08] Kennedy is concerned that her mom is feeling left out of the wedding planning since she and her fiance live away from home. How can she make her feel more involved?
[11:23] Kennedy also asks how to handle a bridesmaid who has tattoos that her partner and future Mother-in-law are afraid will be a bad look for the wedding and pictures.
[14:36] Kristen from Canada wants to know how to involve her stepdad in her wedding.
[22:29] How to address friends who are expecting to be hired to help with your wedding when you’d rather just have them attend or being a part of the wedding party.
[27:27] Destination bachelorette parties.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Olivia Bauso

July 15, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

379- Bridechilla Wedding Planning Q&A

by Aleisha July 1, 2019

written by Aleisha

In this Bridechilla Q&A episode Aleisha answers wedding (and life) questions from the Bridechilla community including- managing social anxiety when it comes to wedding events and meeting new people, the unpredictable nature of mental illness- finding a balance between being supportive and doing what is right for you and planning extra wedding events , when you don't want them but your family is insisting on throwing you a bunch of extra parties! All that and more on the Bridechilla Podcast!

Listen to episode 379 of Bridechilla

Social Anxiety and Weddings

The overwhelm of wedding planning and the events leading up to wedding celebrations, can be challenging for anyone or people but for people who suffer from social anxiety, everyday social interactions can cause anxiety and the stress of these situations can feel like they are too much to handle. In this episode Aleisha answers a question from a Bridechilla listener who was surprised by feeling overwhelmed and feeling in desperate need of personal space after spending a weekend away with her future in-laws and is worried that she will feel the same anxiousness at her wedding events. Tune in for Aleisha's advice on how to cope and hear her story of being an introverted extrovert and how she copes.
Aleisha mentions a previous episode of the Bridechilla Podcast about mindfulness, which will be helpful for anyone having similar feelings. You can listen here.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez

What does a Wedding MC do?

A chilla asks, what is the role of a wedding MC?'.
Wedding receptions often have a Master of Ceremonies (MC) to keep the day running smoothly. The master of ceremonies introduces speakers, makes announcements, and engages with the audience to keep the ceremony agenda flowing as smoothly as possible.
Who takes on the role of an MC depends on where you live. In Australia, where Bridechilla founder Aleisha is from, traditionally you ask a family member or friend to take on the role of the MC. In the USA, it is often the wedding DJ who keeps things moving. In the UK, you can hire professional MCs. Whoever you choose, you want to ensure that they are confident and can keep the show on the road.
The role of MC is simple. It requires you to make a few announcements loudly and clearly as the day progresses.For more tips about being prepared for the role of MC and also how to ready yourself to make a speech, don't miss this episode of the Bridechilla Podcast.

Photo by Casey Chae

To Bridal Shower, or to not Bridal Shower?

Bridechilla focuses a lot on helping couples decide what traditions are meaningful to them and then encourages the remainder to be thrown in the fuck it bucket. As Aleisha acknowledges this episode, there are sometimes moments in wedding planning where you may come to a compromise with family members to keep the peace or at the very least find a way to keep some traditions that are important to parents but do them in a way that suits you.
Bridal shower for many Chillas can sometimes be seen as a rather patriarchal event. Historically it was a gift-giving party held for a bride-to-be in anticipation of her wedding, where guests would bring gifts for the home (often 'kitchen' themed). In this episode, Aleisha answers a question from a Bridechilla, asking about how to change up that tradition, avoid getting a bunch of stuff that may not be used and instead register for gifts and experiences that you as a couple would enjoy.
One of Aleisha's suggestions is an alcohol registry care of our partners Thirsty Nest.

Listen to episode 379 of Bridechilla

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Dmitry Bayer

July 1, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

375- Wedding Traditions, Dresses, and Parents Q&A with Aleisha

by Aleisha June 3, 2019

written by Aleisha

In this episode, you’ll hear questions from the Bridechilla community about how to handle the wedding dress being ruined three weeks before the ceremony, how to deal with parents overstepping boundaries, and a great story about a ditching wedding traditions and going your own way. Listen for the great advice that can help you with similar issues when planning your wedding

Listen to episode 375 of The Bridechilla Podcast

Creating new wedding traditions when the old ones don’t apply

The Bridechilla community knows that traditions can be taken or left. No tradition is more important that the wishes and desires of the couple getting married. Erin is the quintessential Bridechilla who is not only rejecting old, irrelevant traditions, but is also creating new and unique traditions. Some of her plans had to be altered due to the fact that her Mom and Dad have passed away. She has found creative ways to honor them while having a customized wedding that is sure to be special. Listen as Erin gives an update about her wedding plans.

If you can attach a meaning to a tradition, then do it. But if you can’t, then ditch it

What to do when they messed up the dress

Bridechilla Kate has a huge dress dilemma. Alterations ruined her dress and she only has three weeks until the wedding. As you can imagine she is stressed out and unsure of what to do. She wants to wear a dress that she looks and feels great in but is afraid that finding another one in such a short amount of time might be impossible. Aleisha gives Kate advice about how to find another dress quickly and what recourse she has with the vendor who messed up the dress.

Lady wearing white wedding dress walking

Photo by Melody Jacob

If you are going into a situation potentially with a vendor that isn’t offering you a contract then it’s not great

Get it right, get it in writing

If you are in the midst of hiring vendors now or have had issues with vendors before, this is an episode you don’t want to miss. While answering the question about the ruined dress, Aleisha recalls a previous episode of the Bridechilla podcast with a guest who is a wedding lawyer. She recaps some of the great information discussed on that episode. When dealing with vendors, it is critical to get things in writing. Vendors should provide written contracts, but if they don’t you can create one. Listen to this episode to hear Aleisha’s advice about how to make sure you are treated fairly and get the service you deserve.

We can’t make our parents. They made us. But that doesn’t mean that we as children have to go along with all the shit that they sometimes pull

Photo by Alasdair Elmes

Wedding planning with parents

Involving parents in your wedding planning can be both a blessing and a curse. While they can be a source of support and encouragement, they can also be opinionated or demanding. Everyone’s relationship with their parents is different. Bridechilla Claire asks how to deal with her dad who is not respecting her wishes for her wedding. How do you handle a parent who is imposing his will on the wedding? Aleisha suggests that, because you know your relatives and parents well, you can judge whether or not they will behave on the wedding day or if the should be left out of the ceremony. She also encourages Bridechillas to consider the parent’s perspective as well and how they have probably dreamed about your wedding for longer than you have. She gives advice for how to acknowledge that reality while still maintaining your plans. Hear all about that and much more on the Bridechilla podcast.

Show Highlights

[0:27] Introduction of the Bridechilla podcast, this question and answer episode episode and the upcoming 5 year anniversary.
[3:18] Aleisha thanks everyone for their reviews and tells where you can purchase Bridechilla items. She also explains how you can submit questions for Q&A episodes
[4:28] Bridechilla Erin talks about how she and her fiance are planning their nontraditional wedding and how they are going to handle not having her parents at the wedding
[6:44] Erin tells a story about a wedding she was at recently where a groom got really drunk and, during the garter toss, spent a really long time under the brides dress.
[9:41] Kate asks an urgent question about her wedding dress that was ruined by alterations three weeks prior to her wedding day.
[11:32] Aliesha gives advice for how to handle a vendor when they don’t fulfill their obligation for the wedding.
[13:16] What to do if you are dealing with a vendor that isn’t giving you a contract.
[26:27] How to deal with a parent who is making the wedding day about him and not respecting the brides wishes.

Listen to episode 375 of The Bridechilla Podcast

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Mark Zamora

June 3, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

374- Wedding Planning Q&A with Michelle Durpetti

by Aleisha May 27, 2019

written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, Michelle Durpetti joins Aleisha to answer questions about planning a wedding submitted by the Bridechilla community. Michelle has produced over 350 weddings and events and brings a wealth of knowledge about how to plan the wedding you want. During this episode she shares her perspective on the timeline and agenda of a wedding, how to communicate clearly to those involved or attending the wedding, and answers several other questions. The questions submitted by the Bridechilla community are always incredibly thoughtful and helpful to other brides in the planning stages of their wedding, so be sure to listen and learn during this podcast.

Listen to the episode

How to create a great wedding schedule

Any event has a schedule or agenda that it follows. This allows anyone that is a part of that event to plan and prepare. It also sets expectations of the attendees. A wedding is no different. There is a structure and agenda that is followed so that everything the bride and groom have dreamed of can be accomplished. During this conversation, Michelle shares how she approaches creating a schedule for a wedding and the benefits of a well-thought out plan. Michelle says, “The timeline isn’t only the thing that you adhere to while you are in the day, it is also becomes a checklist leading into it to make sure all your I’s are dotted and your T’s are crossed.”

The timeline isn’t only the thing that you adhere to while you are in the day, it is also becomes a checklist leading into it to make sure all your I’s are dotted and your T’s are crossed

Destination wedding planning for the travel-averse

Planning a destination wedding can be so exciting. Bridechilla Chelsea is having a destination wedding in France that sounds absolutely wonderful. She asks for advice on how to make her travel averse parents and other guest feel welcome and comfortable during their time in a foreign country. She also asks how she can help break the ice and facilitate connection between guests who don’t know each other. Michelle gives advice for creating a welcome package for the guests that will help them enjoy their time and their surroundings. She also shares ideas for icebreakers and mixers prior to the wedding.

Photo by Alireza Dolati

At the end of the day, they aren’t really opposed to [a nontraditional wedding] so much as they don’t understand it.

Navigating the difficulty of financial assistance with strings attached

Getting married can be expensive and paying for the wedding can be difficult. It’s nice to have parents or relatives who are willing to contribute financially. But what do you do when those donors start sharing their opinions about the ceremony? And what if those opinions don’t reflect the kind of wedding you and your partner would like to have? It’s a tricky dilemma but not one that should ruin your day. Michelle talks about communicating clearly with donors and also considering ways to compromise so that the people you love are able to fully celebrate on your wedding day. Hear her advice on this and much more during this podcast.

If your choice is to celebrate your marriage at 11 o’clock in the morning and you want to dance and 2 o’clock to celebrate that, then by all means dance

How to enhance a midday wedding celebration

There is no such thing as the wedding police. And there is no right or wrong way to get married. It is important for couples to plan the kind of wedding they want to have regardless of what traditions or customs might be imposed in their culture. Bridechilla Jaime asks about planning an 11:00am wedding and how that might affect both the scheduling of the day and the party-like atmosphere that she still hopes to create. Regardless of the time of day, you can create the kind of atmosphere you desire with proper planning, communication, and maybe a little booze. Listen as Michelle answers this and other questions during this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

bride wearing a hat and carrying a bouquet

Photo by Adrianna Van Groningen

There really is no such thing as far as I know anywhere in the world as the wedding police!

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Show Highlights

[0:37] Introduction of the episode and guest Michelle Durpett, a wedding and event planner from Chicago.
[4:00] Michelle shares what she learned from doing corporate events that she has applied to planning weddings.
[7:10] Tips for developing and sticking to the timeline for your wedding, and how the timeline helps both on the day of the wedding and prior to the day.
[11:45] Bridechilla Chelsea asks about tips for hospitality for a destination wedding in France.
[16:47] How to talk with parents who have donated to the wedding and are fighting against a less-traditional wedding
[26:22] Jaime is having a lunchtime wedding and wants to know about what kind of timeline plans she should consider with such an early wedding.
[33:16] Sydney asks about save-the-dates to people she’s inviting to the reception but not the ceremony.
[37:20] Michelle shares how brides can get in touch with her and potentially hire her to plan their wedding.

Listen to the episode

Meet Michelle Durpetti

Since the inception of Michelle Durpetti Events in 2008, Michelle has planned and produced over 300 weddings and events including some of Chicago’s most notable, celeb-studded events such as the Chicago Gateway Green’s annual Green Tie Ball, the Fiera Italiana, in conjunction with the annual Columbus Day Parade, for the Joint Civic Committee of Italian Americans, and the Chicago Hunter Derby. Michelle was recently named one of the Top 50 Planners in the country by Partyslate and has been featured both nationally and locally by publications such as Inside Weddings, Style Me Pretty, Grace Ormonde, Modern Luxury Weddings, Strictly Weddings, Today's Chicago Woman Magazine and more.At almost the ten year marker with MDE, Michelle still

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Morgan McDonald

May 27, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

372- Bridechilla Wedding Planning Q&A

by Aleisha May 13, 2019

written by Aleisha

If you have questions about planning your wedding and are looking for some great advice and a lot of fun, then be sure to listen to this episode of the Bridechilla podcast. Aleisha catches up on her voicemail by answering questions left by members of the bridechilla community. The Bridechilla podcast doesn’t just talk about flower colors or types of dresses. We talk about the serious, sometimes difficult side of planning a wedding that can affect real life and close relationships. During this podcast, Aleisha addresses the issue of taking your partner’s last name, breaking off an engagement, dealing with a double-booked venue and even how to handle citizenship issues when planning your wedding.

Listen to episode 372 of Bridechilla

Bride and groom posing next to a combi van

Photo by Jessica Rockowitz

HI, my name is...

The Bridechilla community knows that no tradition should be blindly accepted. If the tradition serves a purpose in your wedding, then by all means use it. But there is no obligation to follow particular customs without consideration or reasoning. One such tradition is taking your partner’s last name. Bridechilla Kelsey is not taking her partner’s last name and wants to know how to deal with family members and friends who assume that she is. Aleisha also helps Kelsey and the Bridechilla community consider how to handle the family name for when they have children.

We are in a time where we have so many options, there is flexibility. It is not taboo to not take your partner’s name when it comes to getting hitched.

Do you double down if they double book?

Brianna called Aleisha to find out what to do about her wedding venue. After booking two rooms at the same venue for both the ceremony and reception and paying a downpayment, Brianna received word that the venue had double booked and wants to cancel one of the rooms. To complicate matters, Brianna and her fiance both work at the venue. During this question and answer, Aleisha gives advice for how to deal with conflict and how to handle complications when planning your wedding.

Photo by Anna Utochkina

There is no shame in moving on

Before marrying Rich, Aleisha was engaged to another man. To cope with calling off the first wedding, Aleisha did a stand up comedy routine that ultimately led to the start of Bridechilla. When Bridechillas Tori and Rach both have questions about how to move on with their wedding planning after having ended a previous engagement to another man, Aleisha is able to give first-hand advice. There can be shame and guilt that accompanies difficult breakups. Nothing should keep you from moving on and finding happiness in another relationship.

I think we need to embrace these ups and downs and not feel the shame attached to them because that doesn’t get you anywhere.

Finding happiness in your wedding planning

The goal of wedding planning is to decide what you want and what makes you happy and then do it. Wedding planning can reveal a lot about your life and priorities. While planning her wedding, El discovered that she is missing close relationships with friends. She is struggling to decide who to invite to be her bridesmaids and asks Aleisha for advice. Listen as Aleisha encourages El and reminds the Bridechilla community of how comparison can rob you of satisfaction in your own wedding. Hear all that and much more on this episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

Photo by Rachel Lees

Instead of feeling bad that this is being tainted in some sort of way, see it as a really positive step and a huge milestone in your relationship

Listen to episode 372 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

[1:10] Aleisha introduces this episode, during which she answers questions left on voicemail from the bridechilla community.
[3:32] Kelsy’s question is about how to nicely deal with people who criticize her for not taking her partner’s last name. Also how to handle a family name when children come along.
[9:04] Bridechilla Becca calls to say thank you to Aleisha for giving her the courage to make the decisions that she wants for her wedding
[10:13] Brianna’s venue (which she actually works at) double-booked and is asking them to make a change that they don’t want to. What should she do?
[20:57] New-to-Bridechilla Tori wants to know how to announce her engagement after having broken off an unhealthy prior engagement to another guy.
[27:18] Rach wants to know whether she should invite her Mother to her wedding after a rocky relationship.
[34:10] El from New Jersey, realized through wedding planning that she doesn’t have the close relationships she wishes she had and wants advice on what to do?
[37:28] Laura wants to know how to plan a low-key courthouse wedding prior to their big ceremony in order to help with her Canadian fiance’s citizenship status.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Jonathan Borba

May 13, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

369- Q&A with One Fab Day

by Aleisha April 22, 2019

written by Aleisha

Celina and Claire from The One Fab Day Wedding Podcast and blog, join Aleisha to answer the Bridechilla Communities wedding planning questions. They talk about picking colors, finding mix and match bridesmaid dresses, when to negotiate for better prices, and how to deal with your racist/bigoted/outspoken about everything family members at your wedding. Listen to hear that and much more on this week’s Bridechilla podcast.

Listen to episode 369 of Bridechilla

How to pick colors for your wedding

The colors you choose for your wedding are important because they will determine your wedding party’s outfits, flowers, and other decor options for your wedding and reception. So how do you determine your color pallette? Claire and Celina suggest starting with the kind of day you are having and the type of venue and let that guide your color choices. They also suggest considering how creative you might be and what kind of risk you are willing to take with unique or different colors. Hear more advice from Claire and Celina about choosing the perfect colors for your wedding during this podcast.

I wouldn’t say start with the color pallette, I’d say think about what kind of day your having and what kind of venue you have and work from there

Mix and match bridesmaids dresses

While it is still common for bridesmaids to all have the same style and color of dress, there is also the option of allowing the bridesmaids to have different dresses. Remember, your wedding is all about what you want and what makes you happy, so there is no tradition or rule that must be followed. Mixing and matching dresses can help create a custom look for your wedding. So how can you help your bridesmaids pick out dresses that will be complimentary in both style and color? Claire and Celina suggest Bridechillas give freedom with guidelines on styles, colors and lengths. They also encourage considering brands that have already curated mix and match dress collections.

Photo by Alora Griffiths

Taking care of the children

There is nothing cuter in a wedding than having kids be a part. However, there is a risk that comes with involving children. They can be unpredictable, cranky and loud. Bridechilla Stacy wants to know the best ways to manage the many kids that will be at and in her wedding. Suggestions discussed include making sure the children are well rested, not to high on sugar, and having activities to keep them occupied when they don’t have specific tasks. Remember that kids also typically respond well to tasks, so keep them busy and help them stay out of trouble. If you are considering having kids play a role in your wedding, or if you know many of your wedding party guests will have kids, be sure to listen to this episode for some great tips on how to make that experience a pleasant one.

Photo by Edgar Chaparro

Do you need a 'racist corner' at your wedding?

There are few events with more potential to mix diverse cultures and generations that a wedding. Many times brides and grooms will invite both an older generation of family members along with a younger generation of friends. This can cause some uncomfortable situations, especially if some of your guests are intolerant to different lifestyles. Claire and Celina talk about how the implemented a racist corner to help eliminate some of the negativity. In order to ensure that best possible wedding without unnecessary conflict, it is best to consider how to deal with these types of issues before the big day. Listen to this episode of the Bridechilla podcast to hear more about that and many other topics that will help you plan the wedding you have always wanted.

We do always say about wedding that it’s best to leave your gripes at the door.

Helpful Articles from One Fab Day

Wedding Colour Palettes

Having a spring or seasonal wedding and need inspiration on a colour palette? Look no further, we've got collections on the most beautiful wedding colour combinations and latest trends from pretty pastels to bold and glamorous colours.

How to Mix & Match Bridesmaids' Dresses
Tips for chic, modern bridesmaids with individual style

How to Manage Children at Weddings
An Essential Guide Having little ones at your wedding? We've a few tips on how to make it the best day ever for them!

Why Are Weddings So Expensive?
A real talk explanation

How To Find The Best Wedding Suppliers (And Get The Best Service)
Your essential guide to working with wedding professionals

Wedding Planners, Stylists & Coordinators; What's The Difference?
The wedding professionals who'll ensure your day runs smoothly

How To Make Sure Your Wedding Morning is Calm & Relaxed
Have the best morning ever

Photo by Annie Spratt

Listen to episode 369 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

[0:17] Introduction of guests Claire and Celina, founders of OneFabDay.com and the One Fab Day podcast.
[2:22] Because her venue doesn’t have a staff, Bridechilla Shaleen wants to know who she should get to help clean up since there is another wedding the next day?
[5:18] How do you choose the colors you want for you wedding?
[8:21] Managing mismatched bridesmaids dresses
[12:56] Bridechilla Stacy will have a lot of kids at her wedding and wants to know how to give them activities to entertain them and how to get them to cooperate with their role in the wedding.
[22:09] Which wedding vendors and/or items are price-negotiable?
[25:51] How can you maintain your energy during the wedding if you are usually low-energy and in bed early?
[28:48] If you have an outdoor venue and the weather isn’t favorable, how do you notify your wedding guests that the wedding has moved indoors?
[31:19] How to deal with close-minded guests who might be negative about LGBTQ guests or other issues.
[37:16] Claire and Celina share what is coming up with the One Fab Day podcast.

Meet This Episode’s Guests

Clair and Celina are the Editors of the online magazine OneFabDay.com. They also recently started a Podcast dedicated to helping brides plan their wedding day, The One Fab Day Wedding Podcast, Based in Dublin and London, they cover every aspect of weddings, from ring shopping to table-planning etiquette. One Fab Day is one of the biggest wedding resources in the world, committed to giving honest advice and practical tips to brides every step of the way.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by Lucija Ros

April 22, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

366- Wedding Alcohol Q&A with Jacki Strum

by Aleisha April 1, 2019

written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, guest Jacki Strum, founder and CEO of Thirsty Nest, joins Aleisha to address all of your wedding alcohol Q&A. Jacki created a new kind of gift registry for engaged couples by creating the type of registry she wished she had when she was planning her wedding. Rather than giving yet another toaster or coffee maker that the couple probably already has, you can give the gift they really want - a fully stocked bar at home. During this episode, Aleisha and Jacki answer questions about how to provide quality booze at your wedding.

Listen episode 366 of Bridechilla

Creative ways to include cannabis at your wedding

Alcohol can help enhance the environment of any party. There are other alternatives that can be introduced as well. In addition to discussing alcoholic beverages, Jacki gives some advice to one Bridechilla listener interested in offering cannabis at their wedding. As more states continue to legalize cannabis, there is a greater opportunity to have this at your wedding. Jacki discusses creative ways to use items like baked goods or gummies as well as discreet vaporizers. Hear more of Jacki’s insight on cannabis during this podcast.

In general, I think it’s a welcome change and I think there are a lot of ways to do it without turning your wedding into a Snoop Dog video

Photo by Kimberly Nanney

Have a smashing time without getting smashed

Having an open bar at your wedding can be a lot of fun. But what do you do if you have guests who can’t seem to control their drinking? How do you keep people from getting completely smashed and ruining your big day? The first step is to work with your bartenders before the day of the event to assure that they don’t over serve guests. Most professionals will be sensitive and considerate, but you want to deal with this ahead of time. Jacki gives other advice throughout this question and answer session to help you ensure that the alcohol enhances the party and doesn’t become a problem.

Photo by Adam Jaime

I do think it is important to think through the signature cocktail because it is what most people will order!

How to create your own signature cocktail

One way to leave a lasting impression on the guests who come to your wedding is by creating a signature cocktail. It’s also a great way to celebrate with your partner for years to come. Each special occasion or anniversary you can mix up your signature cocktail and reminisce. How do you create this speciality drink? Jacki has some great advice for how to develop a unique mixer that looks and tastes great. She also gives ideas for how to create a signature cocktail even if you don’t have liquor at your wedding.

Wedding alcohol management 101

Including alcohol at your wedding is great fun, but it also requires a bit of management. What if some of your wedding guests don’t drink or are recovering alcoholics? How can you show those guests that you’ve also considered them? And how do you manage the amount of booze to provide for an event. All of these questions are important to consider before the day of the event. Talking with your vendor and making a solid plan will ensure that the wedding day goes smoothly and is an enjoyable time for everyone. Listen as Jacki gives great advice during this special wedding alcohol Q&A episode of the Bridechilla podcast.

Water, water everywhere. People always forget to drink water, especially at outside summer weddings and it causes a lot of problems

Photo by Kimberly Nanney

Listen episode 366 of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

[0:42] Introduction of Jacki Strum from ThirstyNest, a wine and spirits wedding registry platform that helps brides and grooms fill their home bar for their wedding
[3:39] Aleisha put out a message on Facebook requesting alcohol related questions for Jacki to answer
[5:48] Are more weddings not only including alcohol but also cannabis for the party?
[9:11] Where are the best places to buy alcohol if you are bringing it yourself
[13:41] Is upgrading to a nicer booze really worth it? What booze should be upgraded?
[21:20] How do you manage an open bar in such a way that your entire party doesn’t get completely trashed
[23:15] Being at higher altitude, do you need to warn guests of the lower alcohol tolerance?
[25:18] What is a mixed drink we should all know how to make?
[28:15] What is the secret to a good dirty martini recipe?
[30:21] If you can’t use hard liquor, what is the best way to create a signature cocktail with beer, wine, or champaign?
[34:06] Is there a way to work with a venue for a group of non-drinkers? What if you have a lot of big drinkers?

Meet This Episode’s Guest

Jacki Strum is the founder and CEO of Thirstynest, a wine and spirits wedding registry that allows your friends and wedding guest to skip the toaster or coffee maker and give you a gift you really want - the gift of a fully stocked home bar. With over a decade of experience in the wine & spirits industry, Jacki created a new way to give to the couple you love by creating the kind of registry she wishes she’d had when she got engaged.

Show image by Brooke Lark

With thanks to this episodes Partners

April 1, 2019

Bridechilla Blog Bridechilla Podcast

359- Family Matters- Bridechilla Q&A

by Aleisha February 11, 2019

written by Aleisha

Anytime you have a gathering that involves both immediate and extended family, there is a high likelihood that you will have to deal with family matters. We all have weird and difficult family members. Planning a wedding and inviting them means that family drama of some kind is probably going to happen. On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, Aleisha answers questions from the Bridechilla community about how to manage these important relationships while still having the wedding you and your couple want. Tune in to be encouraged by the struggles of other Bridechillas and hear Aleisha’s great advice.

Listen to this Episode of Bridechilla

Cut off the drama with crucial conversations

Families come in all shapes and sizes. There are unique personalities that can create incredible variety, diversity, and often drama. With extended family, issues can often be avoided. But what happens when drama arises with you or your spouse’s parents? Bridechilla Holly asks about her family dynamics and how to deal with family members who don’t get along. One key to dealing with family drama is being willing to have difficult conversations. Listen to Aliesha’s advice to cut off drama with crucial conversations.

“I certainly wouldn’t have felt less married if I hadn’t changed my name. I have so many girlfriends who haven’t gone through the name changing process, who have no interest in changing their name, and are just as married as the rest of us.

Playing the name game

When planning to get married, couples have to decide what they are going to do about their names. Will the bride be taking the groom’s last name in a traditional fashion? Or will you do something different? Bridechilla Kate is a feminist who is trying to decide whether she is going to take her partner’s last name, use a hyphen, or keep her name. Regardless of what you decide to do, it’s important to remember that you aren’t less married if you don’t go through the name changing process. Name changing or any wedding tradition should be adapted to work for you. Be true to yourself when navigating this crucial decisions.

“If parents are contributing then, yes, invite them along for opinions and invite them to be a part of it. But it doesn’t mean that they automatically buy a controlling decision in your wedding.”

How to ask Mom and Dad for money?

Parents can be incredibly helpful in planning a wedding. They can be a great sounding board during the many decisions that have to be made. And often, they can provide much needed financial support. But what if your parents haven’t readily offered their assistance? Is there a way to tactfully ask for money? Kathryn from South Africa would like for her parents to help pay for the wedding but they haven’t specified how much that are willing to contribute. She asks Aleisha how to approach the subject so that she can move forward in planning with a realistic budget.
*There is plenty of advice about how to work with wedding donors (parents) in this episode of Bridechilla and in the Bridechilla Survival Guide.

“We’ve all got our own weirdo parents. We love them... Some of them.”

Photo by Eliza Szablinska

Buying controlling interest in your wedding

Bridechilla Ann had a question about parents and money too, however her situation is a bit different. Her parents offered to help pay for the wedding but after finding out Ann and her fiance’s plans, they started to criticize their decisions. Does a financial investment necessarily mean that parents have a say in the wedding plans? Dealing with family drama while balancing the stress of planning a wedding can be difficult. If you find yourself in the midst of family matters during your wedding planning, fear not, you are not alone. Listen to this episode to hear from other Bridechillas that are in the same situation and be encouraged by Aliesha’s advice.

“If you are on a website and you are finding a gown that’s normally two grand and you’re finding it for $250, it’s probably counterfeit and it’s probably being made by kids in some sort of shitty awful hellhole.”

Listen to this Episode of Bridechilla

Show Highlights

[0:12] This episode is a Q&A episode, where Aleisha answers question from the Bridechilla community. This episode has a theme of parental involvement in wedding planning
[2:18] Holly asks how to handle inviting family members from both sides who do not get along.
[7:01] Kate from Nebraska asks what to do about balancing her feminism with get taking her partner’s last name
[14:31] Kathryn from South Africa wants to know how to ask parents to contribute financially to the wedding.
[20:13} Kathryn’s second question deals with how to be sure you are buying from a reputable online retailer.
[27:48] Ann’s parents originally seemed on board to help with wedding cost, but then criticised their plans and tried to change the type of wedding that she and her fiance want to have.
[32:21] Aleisha gives advice for how to deal with controlling parents while planning your wedding

Get Planning with the Bridechilla Survival Guide

With thanks to Our Bridechilla Sponsors

February 11, 2019

Bridechilla Podcast

338- Bridechilla Alcohol Wedding Planning Q&A

by Aleisha September 17, 2018

written by Aleisha

When it comes to alcohol and weddings, there are lots of decision to be made. If you are self-catering (or can provide your own alcohol) how much do you buy? What if your guests aren't big drinkers? What if you don't like wine? Can you return alcohol that isn't used?
I am joined by the lady with all of the answers in this Bridechilla wedding alcohol Q&A episode, Jacki Strum, founder of ThirstyNest, first wine & spirits registry for the modern couple.

Listen to episode 338

Why "Stock-the-Bar" Parties Are the Next Big Wedding Trend

As you may have noticed, the current generation of brides and grooms are get married significantly later than their parental counterparts. This change in turn has created a new trend in lieu of a traditional Bridal Shower called “Stock-the-Bar Parties.” After all, you probably already have a toaster and dish towels.

What is a Stock-the-Bar Party? This super fun alternative is perfect if you've already created a home with your fiancé. Rather than registering for things you may already have or don’t need, you can register for your entire home bar and wine collection. Wouldn't you rather a bottle of bubbly than a gravy boat? Below is a breakdown of how we would recommend setting up your gift registry for the perfect Stock-the-Bar Party with ThirstyNest – the first wine and spirits registry for the modern couple.

Bridechilla Alcohol Wedding Planning Q&A

Photo by Jacalyn Beales

Wine

Add a mix of both special age-worthy wines and casual options. For the age-worthy wines, about a case worth (12 bottles) is the right amount. You'll only need a small to moderate wine fridge for safekeeping, and it's easy to move. There's something so special about saving bottles to open together for a special occasion. Some of my favorites would be Cristal Champagne 2009 Louis Roederer for a one-year anniversary or Robert Mondavi 2013 Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon for a 5-year anniversary.

As for everyday wines, it's all about whatever the couple likes, which is what makes the registry such a great tool. They can make their selection really personal. I like to have my favorite workhorse wines around that pair with all different kinds of dishes and occasions. That includes dry rosé like Belle Glos 2016 Sonoma Pinot Noir Blanc — which is just as fitting for a trip to the beach as it is with a holiday meal. Lastly, some lovely Oregon Pinot like this Sokol Blosser 2015 Dundee Hills Estate Pinot Noir, that can be enjoyed with lean meat dishes or even a hearty vegetarian meal.

Spirits

On the spirits side, as with anything wedding related, it really depends on your personal taste as a couple. My recommendation would be a good mix of cocktail essentials and some dram-worthy brown spirits. On the cocktail end — a great vodka, gin, whiskey, and tequila, along with your stirring mixers such as vermouth and Campari, are a good place to start to build your bar. In the sipping neat section, I like to have one fantastic bourbon and one classic smoky Scotch.

Drinkware

As for the serving tools, the absolute must-haves would be a great set of wine glasses, a wine opener, and some cocktail tools. This 16-piece wine glass set ($220 for set of 16 glasses) is gorgeous and comes with a 10-year warranty in case you break a glass. That means you can feel comfortable using them on a weeknight or with company. I love a gorgeous personalized wine opener and decanter along with a good set of cocktail tools and glasses.

Photo by Alexandra Golovac

Storage

Lastly, a place to put all of those amazing gifts! For wine, there are a variety of wine fridges and racks available that range in size to fit a collection from 6 to 300 bottles. A good place to start would be in the 32-bottle range so you can store your gifts with a little room to grow. For spirits and tools, bar carts are especially fabulous and you can even find one that works for a small-space living.

Hosting a Stock-the-Bar Party is the perfect solution for today’s couple. You can level up on your ability to entertain while creating new experiences with your friends and family. Don't worry: setting up the registry will be almost as fun as enjoying your gifts with ThirstyNest. Feel free to reach out with any questions to help you get started at hello@thirstynest.com.

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

September 17, 2018

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