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Bridechilla Wedding Planning

Helping You Ditch Wedding Stress And Plan The Wedding You Want

Tag:

wedding traditions

Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

371- Blending faith, culture, and traditions in your wedding with Karen Cinnamon

by Aleisha May 6, 2019
written by Aleisha

On this episode of the Bridechilla podcast, Karen Cinnamon, founder of SmashingtheGlass.com joins the show to talk about blending faith, culture, and traditions in your wedding. There are many wedding traditions that have their root in religious or cultural customs. They can be deeply meaningful for a couple and their families. However, when you have a couple of differing heritage or you don’t like a particular tradition, planning a wedding can get tricky. How can you honor past traditions while still keeping your unique, individual style? During this podcast, Karen and Aleisha discuss ways to blend both the past and the present so that you can have the wedding you’ve always dreamed of. 

Listen to episode 371 of the Bridechilla Podcast

Ask the right question about traditions

Traditions began because they meant something. Whether it is a religious or cultural custom, they all started with a particular purpose. Overtime, those traditions may or may not hold the value they once did. How do you decide whether or not to include a tradition in your wedding ceremony? How can you handle the expectations of parents or the older generation when planning a wedding with different traditions? Karen suggests that you first must start with answering the question of why. Why do certain traditions exist and why would they be included in your wedding? She also gives advice for how to respect and honor parents or family members while staying true to your wants and desires.

Embrace the fact that there is something different about your wedding or language and translate the elements that are absolutely pivotal for you guests to understand

Consider your wedding guests

Because Karen is Jewish, she understands the importance of certain traditions being included in the wedding ceremony and reception. She also knows that certain traditions may not be familiar to everyone who attends the wedding. If a couple has two different cultures they are including in the ceremony, then it is likely many guests may not be familiar with certain traditions. How can you make your guest feel included? Karen explains the importance of considering the people that are attending your wedding and making sure they understand the significance of why they are included.

Photo by Allef Vinicius 

People want to include both faiths and backgrounds and blend them seamlessly together to create one beautiful ceremony and reception. You know it should seep into every element of the wedding

Make an old tradition new again

Including age old traditions in your wedding doesn’t mean you have to step back in time to have your wedding. You can still incorporate customs while making them fresh and unique to your personality and style. Karen encourages being creative with the inclusion of certain observances in your wedding or reception. Her website, SmashingtheGlass.com is dedicated to providing ideas for how to include traditions in an original way.

Photo by Allef Vinicius 

Try to include everything that you believe in as a couple and leave out anything that you don’t understand or agree with.

Embrace blending faith, culture, and traditions in your wedding

Trying to include different traditions in your wedding while also expressing your individuality can be difficult. However, it doesn’t have to be. The key is to remember that your wedding is all about what you and your partner want. Avoid the trap of allowing family, friends, or others expectations to influence your decision making. Instead, decide as a couple what is most important and tet that guide your planning. Karen urges couples to embrace the opportunity for blending faith, culture, and traditions in your wedding. Listen to this episode for more advice on how to do that and much more.

State something as a fact rather than ask for an opinion and that way you tend to be met with respect.

Listen to episode 371 of the Bridechilla Podcast

Show Highlights

  • [0:44] Aleisha introduces Karen Cinnamon, found of SmashingtheGlass.com, a platform dedicated to helping couples incorporate their Jewish faith into their wedding. 

  • [3:18] Karen explains why and how she started Smashing the Glass for both other Jewish couples and those with interfaith relationships.

  • [5:45] How do you deal with your parents or generation when attempting to include different traditions into the wedding.

  • [8:27] When thinking about including traditions, it is important to pause, think, and ask “why”. Include only that which is important as a couple.

  • [10:30] How having multiple ceremonies can allow you to celebrate all of the traditions that are meaningful to you.

  • [19:58] When you have a bilingual couple, how do you incorporate different languages without it being restrictive.

  • [22:38] Karen shares how she blended her creativity with the tradition of her Jewish faith in her own wedding.

  • [28:08] How the Smashing the Glass community helps brides plan their weddings and how she keeps it supportive and encouraging.

  • [33:50] The overwhelm and emotion of decision making and how the new landscape of culture makes wedding planning stressful.

  • [38:54] Embracing the fusion of cultures and heritages in an interfaith wedding.

Meet Karen Cinnamon

Karen Cinnamon is the founder and editor of the world’s foremost Jewish wedding planning blog, SmashingtheGlass.com. After planning her own wedding in 2013 and discovering that there wasn’t one space dedicated to creative and original ideas for planning a Jewish wedding, Karen decided to fill the void by starting her own platform. Her job is now to help soon to be brides and grooms incorporate their Jewish faith into their wedding ceremony and beyond. 

Join Karen's Community!

Brides Club is the place to be for all the ‘Can’t Plan Without’ Jewish and interfaith Jew-ish wedding resources, support, straight-talking advice and handpicked discounts you need to ensure you have an unforgettable Jewish (or Jew-ish) wedding, whilst keeping everyone around you ‘on-side’.

For just $25 (or £19) a month you’ll receive weekly live Q&A wedding clinics with Karen, live masterclasses with trusted wedding experts, plus access to Karen's tried-and-trusted, verified vendor network, 100’s of exclusive handpicked discounts, ‘What I Wish I’d Known’ interviews with Just-Married Brides, her ‘can’t-plan-without’ library of Jewish wedding checklists and resources (worth $197) and the emergency bridal hotline direct to Karen.
Karen is offering a 30 day free trial to Bridechillas and Groomchillas! Hurrah!

With thanks to our Bridechilla Partners

Show image by  Jonathan Borba

May 6, 2019
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Bridechilla BlogBridechilla Podcast

325- Rethinking Using Wedding Traditions

by Aleisha June 18, 2018
written by Aleisha

When it comes to wedding traditions, can you have your wedding cake and eat it too? Of course you can. Now grab your cake bib and let’s get eating. Just as it takes people to start traditions, it takes people to end them. You are those people. You are tradition trailblazers, pioneers of new, non-hokey wedding customs!

Historically the world of weddings is choc a block with old-timey superstitious from yesteryear. When we delve deeper into their beginnings, it’s puzzling to see why we have clung on to them for so long…this episode of The Bridechilla Podcast features some suggestion about wedding traditions that you can ditch or make your own!

Listen to the episode

A Word About Traditions...

Before we jump in, I encourage you to remember that everything I talk about in this episode (and on the Bridechilla Podcast in general) are just suggestions… take whatever you want from it, leave the rest.

I'm certainly not passing judgment. If find yourself including all of traditions that I suggest might be worth you throwing in the Fuck It Bucket, that’s great.

Or, if you do want to feature them, find a way to add a little bit of you, a bit of Rebecca, a bit of Jane, a bit of Peter (insert your name HERE). Consider what traditions mean to you. If they don't have meaning, either find meaning in them or get rid of them or tweak them to create your own traditions.
*If you are looking for tips on how to add non-traditional traditions to your wedding, I highly recommend you checking out this post and listen to episode 287 of The Bridechilla Podcast. 

Where Did Wedding Traditions start?

The origins of many traditions are based on superstitions. Often the purpose of tradition was connected to avoiding demons, stopping ‘evil’ people/devils and other weirdos invading bodies and stealing people/their soul/their free will etc.

It’s pretty quirky shit.

We only really have bridesmaids because people believed that by lining up a bunch of similarly dressed women, it would confuse the evil spirits. Dummies!

Which one to take?
They all looks the same!
I give up!

We Carry Bouquets, Not Because They're pretty But Because...

In episode 117 of The Bridechilla Podcast, Celebrant Holly Smith, shared the history of women carrying bouquets at weddings, they're gorgeous to look at, but do you remember why they originally came around? It's because the brides stank, they hadn't had a bath in weeks. It was to hide the spew and the poo smells.
 So the history of why we carry gorgeous bunches of flowers isn't as glamorous as a lot of us initially thought!

Photo by Mikayla Herrick

Ditching Stuffy, Wordy Introductions On Wedding Invitations

If you want to spend some time reading some crazy shit on wedding forums, go and read some threads about ‘appropriate wording’ on wedding invitations. People really get worked up particularly when it comes to acknowledging some of the more complicated parental situations like blended families, step families, foster parents, adopted parents, parents who aren’t talking to you.

Do you add them to the invitation? Or leave them off? People get really bitchy about the formality, with a very common response to anyone doing something a little different being, "Well, that's not the etiquette!"
(Like she's done some course in etiquette? I don't think so Sally).

When I read those posts, I sometimes get a little bit angry and then I have to leave and have a vodka soda and just take a moment to think about the fact that those people have spent all that time getting angry at total strangers on the internet.

I digress.  When you are in a modern situation, especially if your parents aren't ‘hosting’ the wedding e.g. aren’t wedding donors, (contributing money to the event), and even if they are, please remember, it's your wedding day and if it isn’t particularly formal, or you have drama attached to how to introduce parents on a wedding invitation, leave them off altogether.

Mr and Mrs Jones Cordially invite you to blah blah
Mr and Mr Jones (and his new girlfriend Eileen) request the honor of your presence…

You're not from Downtown Abbey. It's not necessary to add all of the extra fluff and tbh your guests don’t give a shit.

  • When they read them, they're really just skimming thinking
  • When’s this all happening?
  • Where's it happening?
  • How much time have I got up my sleeve to plan my outfit?
  • How drunk am I going to get?
  • Where am I going to stay that weekend? 

That's what they think about when they read your wedding invitation. They might think at the top, "Sorry, that's a lovely invitation, I'm so glad they've invited me. They're such a great couple." You're hoping that's what they're going to say. They're not reading going, 
"Mr. And Mrs. Tony Blah Blah, cordially," ... cordially? What does that even mean? 

For more on invitation episode, be sure to listen to episode 323 of The Bridechilla Podcast and read the accompanying show notes.

Photo by Ben Waardenburg

Kids At Weddings

Kids at weddings. Some kids are adorable, some are really fun and lovely. Many are not. If you are planning to invite your three-year-old niece to walk down the aisle wearing a sign, or carrying a ring, you have to be ready for that kid to shit their pants and scream, or cry, or roll down the aisle. Kids are unpredictable. Fact.
So, unless the kid you are planning to use is a little performer and you are really confident that they aren't going to be freaked out by big crowds because it can be quite overwhelming for a small child to be pushed down an aisle in front of a bunch of strangers.

Also the logistics of having kids involved (especially if you are having a child-free reception) can also be annoying.  What's going to happen to the kid afterwards? Do you whisk them off to another room, lock them in a car? (JOKES), does someone come and collect them?

I say consider rethinking the traditional flower girl/ ring bearer kid, if you want to avoid a potential poo pants meltdown and have one less thing to worry about on the day.

Show image by Bin Thiều

June 18, 2018
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Bridechilla Blog

Assembling Your #Squad

by Aleisha August 30, 2016
written by Aleisha

BRIDECHILLA GRADUATE ERICA KNOWS THAT CHOOSING YOUR BRIDAL PARTY IS TRICKY BUSINESS!

Erica Greenwold Reisen is a recently married person who also plans weddings, makes crafts, and writes about wedding things at her website, www.folieadeuxevents.com. You can find her on Instagram @folie.a.deux.nc, Facebook, and Patreon.

I’ve been a bridesmaid twice, once for my sister and once for a friend who is practically a sister. I’ve also been the friend who spent weekends crafting, made dresses, went gown shopping, etc... without the matching dress or my name in a program. I love weddings so much that I am always offering to help whenever a friend is getting hitched! My stint as a bridesmaid and informal wedding assistant is how I got interested in Wedding Planning as a profession.Bridesmaids/Groomsmen can be so helpful while you are planning a wedding. They are (hopefully) your best mates and will be honest and have your back when shit inevitably gets hard, because it totally will.
Choosing a bridal party becomes more complicated as you get older and your friends are spread around the country.
Who do you pick? Your childhood BFFs? Your college roommates? Siblings and cousins? Local pals you play trivia with every Tuesday? All of them? This is how you end up with bridal parties with 10 girls and 10 guys lined up on either side of the couple!

I had my super amazing, Type-A sister as my Maid of Honor and that was it. Plus this saved my lady-friends some serious coin as most of them were traveling from out of state. My husband chose one of his two best friends to be Best Man at our wedding, and the other acted as a witness at our legal ceremony a few months earlier (more on that in another post!).This is clearly not the route many people want to go.

Since moving to North Carolina, every wedding I have attended has had 6+ Bridesmaids/Groomsmen with the exception of one that had no bridal party at all. For most people, they have spent their whole life dreaming of their wedding and their bridal party is an integral part of that dream.So let’s get back to the question of how to choose your bridal party. These are the people who need to always have your back, tell you the truth even when it’s hard, walk you back from the edge when your relatives are driving you mad. They need to be 100% on board in support of your relationship with your partner. And I think most importantly they need to BE THERE.

Being there may not mean physically always there, because like I said before, as we get older, people spread out around the country and world. No, when I say they need to be there, I mean they need to be actively involved in and excited for your wedding. Distance may preclude dress-shopping trips together, but Skype is free and shared Pinterest boards are awesome.

The story is that bridesmaids were originally meant to be decoys to distract and confuse demons who might want to curse the bride on her wedding day. Today, we dress our ladies (and gents) in matching outfits and line them up behind us to bear witness to our nuptials, all the while suffering in uncomfortable shoes, in front of 100+ people.

Being a bridesmaid has taken on an odd cultural significance as well.“Always the bridesmaid, never the bride,”as the saying goes, shames women simply for having a bunch of close friends who happened to get hitched before she did! So beyond the hot pink matching dresses and demon distraction, what is the Bridal Party actually for?

There are traditional responsibilities assigned to the Maid of Honor and Best Man, such as acting as the official witnesses to the marriage and planning the bachelor and bachelorette shindigs. Additionally, the Maid of Honor and Best Man can be your go-to people when you need to start delegating organizational tasks or managing meddling family members. What about the rest of the bridal party? Their job is to help you however they can and be there to support you and your partner every step of the way. These days, they should also be handy with a glue gun and experts at making DIY glitter-dipped wine bottle centerpieces.

As Bridechillas & Groomchillas we know that we should do our best to avoid inviting obligation guests, but what about obligation bridesmaids/groomsmen?
Maybe you told someone way back that you would totally be each other’s bridesmaids but now you barely talk? Or maybe you were a friend’s bridesmaid when they got married but now your relationship has changed? Family can be tough too. Maybe your Aunt expects you to put Cousin Kelly in your bridal party even though you only ever talk at family reunions and she is 6 years your junior.

At the end of the day, it is your wedding and you and your partner should be the ones who decide who you want to represent you as a couple and who will support you completely for your wedding and beyond into your marriage.

No matter what you decide re: the matching garments, your best friends will be there for you regardless. Our wedding was actually one of the best days of my life because of all of the friends who I finally got to see again at the same time and same place. Our wedding was a celebration of love and friendship, and not just between my husband and I, but our friends and family who helped us along the way. I don’t think I have hugged so many people so hard in my entire life. Our friends did not need matching outfits to know how important they are to us.

All gorgeous images by Chris Tavares from Photopher.com.
Other vendors featured in the photos are: Motorco Music Hall, Durham NC -
Tattly Temporary Tattoos - www.tattly.com

August 30, 2016
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Bridechilla Podcast

121- Wedding Traditions to Ditch

by Aleisha December 28, 2015
written by Aleisha

When it comes to wedding traditions, can you have your wedding cake and eat it too?
Of course you can.
Now grab your cake bib and let’s get eating.Just as it takes people to start traditions, it takes people to end them.
You are those people. You are tradition trailblazers, pioneers of new, non-hokey wedding customs! Historically the world of weddings is choc a block with old timey superstitious from yesteryear. When we delve deeper into their beginnings, it’s puzzling to see why we have clung on to them for so long…today’s show features some suggestion from Aleisha about wedding traditions that you can ditch or make your own!

December 28, 2015
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Hi, I’m Aleisha

Hi, I’m Aleisha

Founder of Bridechilla

I created The Bridechilla Podcast, Guides and Facebook Community to empower you to plan an awesome wedding day and put all of the wedstress and obligation straight in the Fuck It Bucket!
With 350+ episodes of Bridechilla, 3 Guides and hundreds of blogs, get started on your path to wedding planning zen!

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